Some days, one just runs out of thread titles. Is the apocalypse imminent? MAYBE!
Kansas (-4.5) at Illinois (7:00, FS1)
Oy, if only I had the hostorical knowledge to make an apt John Brown joke here. Illini just might be terrible this season, but are we really ready to trust Rock Chalk football THIS much?
NC State (+10) v. Tennessee @ Richardson Family Plantation (7:30, ABC)
Try to disregard all the ass blood on the pitch, and the hellish wails coming out of Hippo’s very soul. Just kidding, how could I possibly have a soul, still??
Colorado (+7) at Nebraska (7:30, NBC)
The old Gangbanger Derby renewed, second year running. As y’all may recall, Bill McCartney’s salvo in recruiting Southern California kids is that if you went to Colorado instead of Big Red, you could wear your team swag at home, and not get shot. Hippo is nae joking.
Texas Tech (+2.5) at Washington State (10:00, Fox)
Yep, it’s the Battle for Dread Pirate Mike Leach’s corpse, and Hippo is all about this matchup. The sport is truly lesser for that maniac’s absence.
Boise State (+21.5) at Oregon (10:00, Peacock)
Just a hunch, but I reckon Quack Attack will put a spy on Boise’s tailback. Fucker damned near had 300 yards last week, on just like 20 carries.
Mississippi State (+5.5) at Arizona State (10:30, ESPN)
What a bona fide Tweaker Bonanza this week, especially with nothing on the following morning. I would jump all over Cowbells moneyline, if so inclined to HAIL GAMBLOR.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXP6vR7WmSU
I’m not kidding when this just sort-of happened to a very unfortunate Yinzer.
Please note that if I end up dead with a PS4 controller shoved down my windpipe at any point in time, Senorita Weaselo was doing a Spyro flying level and got mad.
I think I got motion sickness from watching that.
And there’s a kickoff return!
Oregon ties it up again! 🏈
Back and forth we go!
This game is Rockingggg!
That’s right folks. This is on the cock stream.
You can’t afford to not subscribe!
Johnson with the kick return for a TD!
That’s Rockingggg!!!! 🏈
Goooooo Ducks! 🦆
18 minutes until break, and I just realized how much I need to pee.
Awesome.
https://youtu.be/UJZxtO9XNno?t=678
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxA1nkAPA6U
SOON
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1vsdsXCS0A
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCcTZ9e2FoU
ASU taking it to Mississippi St! STI spike coming to Tempe.
Just a reminder that USC doesn’t shit itself to death until Thanksgiving weekend.
Just got my first verified non-suicidal shooting victim. Tough muther, from the sound of it. He seemed more irritated by the situation than in pain or afraid.
Wait, he’s still alive? Damn!
T’is but a flesh wound?
Apparently?
Gang member? Said fellows have been incrementally increasing around my location
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4acayiZAHaM
Taj had a good thought earlier.
This is Christmas eve. Or the closest thing we have left.
Full slate of football tomorrow.
I hope Santa didn’t deliver me another sack of shit this year.
If you win tomorrow the day is magical.
Dallas is playing in the first game Tom Brady is announcing, so the only thing I’m sure of is that I’m not going to watch that unless someone points a gun at my dog.
(Mrs. Horatio isn’t going to be home, before everyone goes questioning my priorities)
Sam Darnold is SKOLing it up this season. Santa took a shit on you weeks ago.
I’m trying to teach the newly adventurous about the difference between renting a hotel room and renting a rental. VRBO in this case. We’ve got hotel rooms for each in Dublin but we rented a whole two storey house in Belfast with a front yard and washer and dryer for the last 3 days.
Give you a chance to wash your ass before you get on a plane.
Common fucking courtesy.
I just spent a week in two hotels and both of them had not only showers, but bathtubs.
I promise I was fully bathed before hopping back in the car.
Gonna watch a bit of this Ducks vs Boise State game 🏈
Goooooo Quack Attack! 🦆
I will watch the Fallon vs. DJ Khaled golf match if and only if the loser is executed on the 18th green.
This commercial is bullshit: there isn’t a child in the world, likely including his own, that would recognize Matt Leinart out in public.
Yeah but what about Nat Limetart?
Found a funny:
in the city of St. Louis, Missouri, there is a museum called the Museum of Illusions, and it has come to my attention that this is the URL of their website
Dude. Me and eldest right and DJ TAJ are going to Ireland.
Eldest right just booked us a limo from air to room.
I taught these motherfuckers right!
There is a cattle breed called the Irish Limousin. Make sure she didn’t book this:
To be fair (Letterkenny gif goes HERE) that cow could easily take three people from the airport to their hotel.
That’s a beefy lad or lass.
Lass. The teats are the tell here.
Fuck yeah degree from a Land Grant institution!!
Sorry, didn’t examine the beast’s undercarriage with pants down around ankles and a midget jamming a bullwhip in my ass.
I mean, it’s not Wednesday.
I don’t judge, but your loss.
This would be better:
It looks slow.
Travel safe and have a blast.
Safety Dance in Norman!
“At Jimmy John’s, just $10 gets you a full 8″”
Deanna Favre:
No fan of either Sanders, but that is in fact targeting on a sliding QB. Stupid, stupid play.
Don’t mind me, I’m just over here getting my mouth all over Madonna.
“The beer that gives you herpes”
It’s really good. I’m trying to drink it before it gets a little older and
undergoes disastrous plastic surgery, uh, goes bad in the refrigerator.Is it like a little prayer?
It’ll take you there!
That ain’t no virgin.
It’s like a virgin touched for the very first time, in that it’s 8% ABV and two of them will lead to some remarkably regrettable decisions that you can’t take back.
So you’re on your knees?
Nah, two of these will just keep me from driving anywhere.
Now, three of them…
Like a prayer.
To the Porcelain God.
Wellwaddyaknow? The Illini did a good and didn’t give up a game winning drive with time running out.
ILLINI GANTA ROSE BOWL!!!
Nc State is getting thumped.
/Hippo noticed
//watching Mike Leach Bowl now
Padres gotta get rocking…
Currently down 4-3 vs the Giants ⚾️
Goooo Padres!
They tried just couldn’t seal the deal. If Merrill were in, they would’ve been ok
BAHAHAHAHA STUPID NOTRE DAME
Alabama and Oklahoma are dicking around right now too.
And fingers crossed for USC laying an egg tonite in the tweaker fixture.
USC doesn’t shit the bed until Advent
Update:
The reviews for the Civil-Asset Forfeiture action movie Rebel Ridge are coming in!
95-Rotten Tomatoes
That’s Rockinggg!
I’m pleased to see that, actually. It seems like a great movie to watch in the gym.
AIDE: There’s some maniac named Joseph A Couch shooting up a freeway in Kentucky.
JD VANCE: [pulls up map] Show me where. I’m gonna fuck this guy.
AIDE: …
JD VANCE: …
AIDE: …up, right?
JD VANCE: Huh?
AIDE: Your gonna fuck that guy *up*?
JD VANCE: Oh…yeah. Right.
Same joke but in meme form.
Yeah, you hear “Couch” and “Fire one off” you assume JD had a sexy time.
It’s Spyro community day (because the anniversary is Monday and we learned there was supposed to be a Crash-Spyro crossover game but it isn’t Call of Duty so Activision said fuck you) so Senorita Weaselo is playing Ripto’s Rage.
I am sober and I have little to no idea what you said here Senor.
This must be what Hippoese is to some folk.
Litre right now:
“That doesn’t sound like half as much fun as Spirograph community day ” – Eli Manning
Illini in mid-season* form.
*shitty
UConn aspires to Illinois level of success.
Which is frankly terrifying.
Hahaha!
Just saw that Cal Bears beat Auburn today!
Seems Rockingggg!
Colorado being an undisciplined mess is maybe the least surprising thing ever.
Damn liberal media bring COACH PRIME down!
Herbstreit really has a hard-on for UT.
/pill bottle flies open
yeah. It so done.
So much content
no clean sheet at least
“Guys are in his face or wrapped around his ankles….”
For $500, was this said about Shedur Sanders or Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show?
OK, today I got the bills out, the recycles taken to the dump, walked the dog, hit the gym, mowed the lawn, then raked half of it before the blinding sheets of rain came.
Who else votes with me that it’s Miller time at the Cornblower house?
You’ve definitely earned a little breather after all that!
Oh well played. Well played indeed.
I’ll hoist one to you Sir.
Did 4 miles in 90 degree 60% humidity for the fun of it myself.
Then I ordered pizza and got to drinking proper.
I also did recycling today (not at the dump, heathen) in 100 degree heat.
That was all.
Drinking begins now.
Me too. Recycling freezer vodka into pee.
Yeah, sorry, I should have used the proper effete/elite East Coast term and called it a the transfer station, in that we send all our stuff to Hartford to be dealt with.
I got free booze on my flight because I was willing to move into a vacant exit row. I am not making this up.
Sounds like you don’t need this guy
Wait, Emily In Paris is still a thing?
Does Fozz know!?
Why do you think he’s not here?
Live look at Fozz homestead:
Bourble Fozz at a bullfight…
We may never hear from him or his representatives again.
There’s an interactive video game on Netflix!
When I saw the commercial, I thought the same thing.
I’d be madder about this game, but the Notre Dame loss still has me content with schadenfreude.
Fucking shovel pass conversion killed us.
Announcers frantically coming up with excuses for why Colorado is down 14-0 against a poor Nebraska team after one quarter when the real reason is glaringly obvious: Deion Sanders is a terrific recruiter and absolutely shit coach.
Is their tackling Sandersesque?
Michigan, Notre Dame and Colorado are all going/gone down.
I love Neapolitan Schadenfreude!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTXJxoa10Tc&list=PLFi9V6EFsFIkxZoBU23yhzlLSQ6JFgBdR&index=8
We’ll take down those useless twats from Oakland next week.
Jeer, jeer at old Notre Dame
They just lost a winnable game
Nor-thern Ill-i-nois just won
And most of our website came
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7csGhMQoQms&ab_channel=JimHim
…and Colorado’s going down as well.
a0c.gif (400×217) (kym-cdn.com)
Oh shit. New thread.
NIU thread
#20 for the Wolven Sort (backup tailback) has a Hippo nickname – The Brother Smothers
Gotta love the Wazzu girl sticking her ass out.
Classic!
Someday we need to find out who she is and how things turned out for her.
I almost guarantee it’ll be depressing.
She’ll be a defense industry lobbyist, making 7 figures a year. Unless meth got her.
Or boner pill lobbyist, kinda the same thing.
Statistically, she’d become a pharma rep.
I’m thinking married to a guy in finance, cranked out 4 kids who are all named some variation of Tyler, now chairs the local Republican committee, and is very concerned that a) Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret is being taught in junior high, and b) that someone is going to find this picture of her.
That’s an older pic, she probably is an actual Cougar by now!
Somewhere, Zack Wilson felt a disturbance in the force.
And in this case, the force is his penis
Even (Especially?) the Wazzu girls who become lawyers are as trashy as this crew.
Went to paint the shed this afternoon, and what did we find in our yard?
Get well soon!
I know people that would pay a considerable amount for that rack.
Still had its velvet on it.
Car impact, or just dead?
No external injuries.
He’s not sleeping, is he?
Get up Steve
Didn’t wake up while we were dragging it out to the woods.
I’m so paranoid about deer and Lyme that I hope you were wearing a hazmat suit when you took that photo
Well I guess we know PFC Jessica Lynch wasn’t hanging out off the highway in Kentucky today.
Bonkers ending in the Cornpone Derby
I may have made some poor life decisions, but that outfit on THAT pudgy body…
That’s the face of the freshman fifteen.