MORE FOOTBALL? Your Next Open Thread

Halfway through the season I’d turn my nose up at these offerings but hopeful me is just going to ride the waves.

To The Games!

Raiders/Chargers:

Did Minshew win the job or did O’Connell lose it, letting it slip right through his hands? The latter for sure. No worries though, the starter is less than cromulent so we’ll be seeing both through the season and it won’t matter to anyone other than Davante. We know Pierce wants to play 80’s style ‘Grind and D’ so for that reason I think Zamir White has a ton of unrealized fantasy value.

Broncos/Seahawks:

At least Nix has a bit of history on his side in that he’s the only other Denver rookie qb to play in a season opener aside from Elway. Seattle’s OC Ryan Grubb is the latest offensive hot commodity and we’ll see what he’s capable of with Geno and that stacked wr room.

Cowboys/Rams:

That high-powered Dallas offense may not hit the ground running given that they’re playing that nasty Cleveland D in their own back yard. One tends to forget about Amari Cooper but he’s the very first Browns wr to record back-to-back 1,000 receiving seasons. Is Watson ever going to show his Houston credentials?

Commies/Bucs:

I don’t know, Washington-Dan Quinn and Kliff Kingsbury? They seem like retreads to me but once you’re in the club it’s almost impossible to be kicked out if you don’t want to go. So much hinges on Jayden Daniels’ arm and fleet feet. McLaurin will give him all the help he can, being one of only six players to have 900+ yards in each of his first five seasons. Speaking of, Mike Evans just keeps rolling along.

Get out there and type.

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ballsofsteelandfury

NEW THREAD!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

THIS GUY BALLS I CALL HIM THE SEAMSTRESS BECAUSE, WELL, YOU GET IT

Gatoraids

Scared to see the TV deal Kirk Cousins agent will finesse with Bradys 300 mil

Doktor Zymm

I really wish his name was VanGiggle instead of VanKinkle

blaxabbath

I’m so down to cheer for a fun Ladd McConkey.

King Hippo

Making Watson stay out there and take a beating. LOVE IT.

blaxabbath

The money is guaranteed so…..

Mr. Ayo

To be fair, Watson likes staying around late for a good beat off.

Unsurprised

Wow. Richardson’s 60 yarder was beautiful

Unsurprised

Deejay looked thick enough on the tube that I want to give him bonus points for getting a fat man TE

Unsurprised

TD.

Fuck!

blaxabbath

So basically, for the sixth year, Kyler Murray shows that he’s a great quarterback when you give him a big lead, a running game, and an elite defense.

Just like me.

Horatio Cornblower

Hey, that’s my fantasy football QB you’re talking about, and Yahoo gave me an A- for drafting him!

(Yahoo drafted him; I couldn’t make the draft)

King Hippo

NEW RULE – helmet comes off on its own twice? You have to play rest of the game without one.

Unsurprised

Hell yeah

Mr. Ayo
WCS

comment image

King Hippo

Got that 2.1 YPA all the way up to 3.3!! SUCK IT, critics!!!1111

Doktor Zymm

comment image/revision/latest?cb=20161122030635

Unsurprised

Florida hasn’t been this happy to see commies lose since 1992

Redshirt

Two interceptions? Huh, it doesn’t seem fair that Deshawn Watson was forced to do something he didn’t want to do.

Unsurprised

Brabo

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hi, I haven’t watched any football today, but I’m reporting in that a guy on my flight boarded clutching a small ziploc baggie that contains shrimp and another small ziploc baggie inside the first that appears to contain cocktail sauce.

C’mon, meteor….

Doktor Zymm

I really hope he pulls a plastic martini glass out of his bag and assembles that thing

Doktor Zymm

SERIOUSLY JAYDEN FIX YOUR DAMN HELMET

Doktor Zymm

I’m glad they took that TD off, the incentive to fit that thing needs to be there

Redshirt

Good News: The Cleveland Browns Super Bowl hype is ending in Week 1.
Bad News: The Dallas Cowboys Super Bowl hype lives on.

fleshwound_NPG

Good News: The Cowboys January Collapse gets a little funnier

Doktor Zymm

If Cowboys fans are still getting their hopes up every year they have no one to blame but themselves. Besides, Dallas getting their buttocks walloped in the wild card game is a really fun tradition

Unsurprised

It gets funnier every year.

Beerguyrob

Oh good, the game is going longer.

Beerguyrob

National broadcasts fucking suck.

Unsurprised

What the hell

Doktor Zymm

Nix keeping his TD/INT ratio above zero!

Unsurprised

Comparison to Elway in 83 is bold

Redshirt

Well Bo is technically also a QB. Allegedly.

Doktor Zymm

Oh no, no, Bo

Mr. Ayo

There it is! Finally, a Nix Pick!

Doktor Zymm

Nix Pix, maybe he can get a Pixy Stix endorsement!

Mr. Ayo

Dammit, I can’t believe I didn’t call it that.

LemonJello

Now we need a Nix Pick Six!

fleshwound_NPG

NIX SIX

Unsurprised

Perfect. Because it’s a homophone and synonym for “Nicks six”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

“Foles is way bigger than six…”

Everyone in Philly

Beerguyrob

One game is hardly a valid sample for anyone besides Nate Silver, but a defence-oriented, run-first Seahawks team I can get behind.

Beerguyrob

I stand by this statement. (Watches interception)

Redshirt

.

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Doktor Zymm

He’s getting a little male pattern baldness going on there, I hope the nanobubbles don’t originate from his follicles

fleshwound_NPG

gotta call lebron pretty soon

fleshwound_NPG

DONT call carlos boozercomment image

Doktor Zymm

Oh wow, he should just go ahead and get that tattooed on

Unsurprised

That’s not a tattoo?

LemonJello

comment image

There are alternatives?

Unsurprised

Elon has the GOAT hair replacement

Doktor Zymm

Being so divorced that no one even looks at his head?

Unsurprised

Yes. But he also looked like Clint Howard when he was like 19

Mr. Ayo

Damn, Ciara let him go out in public like that?

Unsurprised

Actually, Brian Urlacher seems to be the man to call. Dude was balding in high school and took the stage at the Hall of Fame looking like a G

Doktor Zymm

There are billboards in Chicago featuring HAIRLACHER

Mr. Ayo

POONA HIVE!

Last edited 1 month ago by Mr. Ayo
fleshwound_NPG

come on watson, i thought you released your balls quicker than that

Redshirt

Yeah, but I don’t think his center is going to do THAT for him.

Doktor Zymm

I wonder how many people are gonna go pick up players from the Buccs only to be disappointed when they have to play against a defense?

Mr. Ayo

I’d pick up Evans, but it turns out every team I’m playing this week is fucking me with him already.

Mr. Ayo

RIP Ferguson