MORE FOOTBALL? Your Next Open Thread

Halfway through the season I’d turn my nose up at these offerings but hopeful me is just going to ride the waves.

To The Games!

Raiders/Chargers:

Did Minshew win the job or did O’Connell lose it, letting it slip right through his hands? The latter for sure. No worries though, the starter is less than cromulent so we’ll be seeing both through the season and it won’t matter to anyone other than Davante. We know Pierce wants to play 80’s style ‘Grind and D’ so for that reason I think Zamir White has a ton of unrealized fantasy value.

Broncos/Seahawks:

At least Nix has a bit of history on his side in that he’s the only other Denver rookie qb to play in a season opener aside from Elway. Seattle’s OC Ryan Grubb is the latest offensive hot commodity and we’ll see what he’s capable of with Geno and that stacked wr room.

Cowboys/Rams:

That high-powered Dallas offense may not hit the ground running given that they’re playing that nasty Cleveland D in their own back yard. One tends to forget about Amari Cooper but he’s the very first Browns wr to record back-to-back 1,000 receiving seasons. Is Watson ever going to show his Houston credentials?

Commies/Bucs:

I don’t know, Washington-Dan Quinn and Kliff Kingsbury? They seem like retreads to me but once you’re in the club it’s almost impossible to be kicked out if you don’t want to go. So much hinges on Jayden Daniels’ arm and fleet feet. McLaurin will give him all the help he can, being one of only six players to have 900+ yards in each of his first five seasons. Speaking of, Mike Evans just keeps rolling along.

Get out there and type.

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Unsurprised

GEEEEEEENO!

rockingdog

Yay Jeno Smith!!!!

That scramble for a TD was ROCKINGGGG!!!! 💪

Mr. Ayo

HOX!!!!!

WCS

New, coming in 2024, the NFL presents: Is It a Fumble?

King Hippo

oh noes, Hippo ain’t like that none

Doktor Zymm

Some pro wrestling moves going on in Seattle

King Hippo

LEAPFROG!

The Maestro

Austin Ekeler is still alive?? And playing football?? Professionally???!

rockingdog

Jayden Daniel’s kinda can scramble for a 1st down….thats unexpected!

That’s kinda Rocking!

Doktor Zymm

He’s actually looking pretty good, considering the context!

King Hippo

ahem, it’s not 0 points off 1 SEA takeaway. It’s -2.

blaxabbath

Couldn’t help but notice Emmitt Smith NOT wearing his Arizona Cardinals jersey in that whatever commercial.

Unsurprised

I saw his score a TD for them in-person. It was both exciting and sad.

King Hippo

Now, to see if we can keep SEA out of FG range more than once the rest of the game

Unsurprised

Commies defense is as organized as a commie meeting.

fleshwound_NPG

not since the early days of barbarossa has the commies looked this disjointed

King Hippo

bunch of galdurn Trotskyite wrecking, ah tell yew wut

Unsurprised

Quick! Somebody get me Ramón Mercader!

Mr. Ayo

MUFF DANCE!

King Hippo

It needs a DFO deity, methinks

Unsurprised

The Muffin Man is too obvious

Mr. Ayo

Is Kyle Williams still alive?

Doktor Zymm

Booberry Muffin!

ArmedandHammered

Ahh, Booberry Cereal, I learned what fake plasticy tasting artificial blueberry flavoring could be from that cereal. I still associate the color blue with that taste.

King Hippo

just hand it off and take the FG, Jumpy McGee

jjfozz

“Welcome to Raider Naiton, we’re glad to have you onboard! Inside your welcome package you’ll find the following:”

  • One slightly used meth pipe
  • Coupons for affordable bailbondsmen, lawyers, and escort services
  • Two ‘easy to hide’ razor blades
  • One tin of black makeup, one tin of silver makeup
  • Rubber gorilla mask, also slightly used
Unsurprised

A fella could have a pretty good time in …

Oh, right.

King Hippo

We have MUFF!!!

Mr. Ayo

Need another Nix INT

Mr. Ayo

So close, dammit.

King Hippo

he tried his level best

rockingdog

I like this Raiders team & QB
Minchew as their QB feels ROCKING!

King Hippo

TRUE HIPPO STORY – my oldest HippoSpawn went to Minshew’s alma mater (East Carolina) and is dating a RAAAIIIIIDDDUUUUHHHHSSSS fan. I’m sure they are enjoying the fixture.

Doktor Zymm

FIRST SAFETY OF THE SEASON! DANCE Y’ALL!

Mr. Ayo

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King Hippo

HIPPO CALLED IT WOO!!!!!

Beerguyrob

This first quarter has been a fucking slog.

Beerguyrob

And the second quarter is no fucking better.

King Hippo

it really is an affront to humanity. You’d think it was being played in a blinding snowstorm, or raining frogs. Some Biblical shit.

Unsurprised

Seattle Snatch is vegan

Unsurprised

That reminds me. Last week I got propositioned by a girl from *one of* the vegan strip clubs here

Doktor Zymm

D’oh Nix

Mr. Ayo

HOX!!!!

King Hippo

just setting up the safety!

Beerguyrob

CORRECT!

Mr. Ayo

Nevermind. Stupid team.

WCS

Mike Peirera either has COVID or hates Brady.

It can’t be both, otherwise he’d be kissing Brady like the latter does his ten-year-old son.

King Hippo

HAWT

Doktor Zymm

Tippy-toe run for Jayden!

Mr. Ayo

Wide right! Hate to see it.

Doktor Zymm

Miscellaneous placement kicker is gonna miscellaneous!

Unsurprised

Booooo. Fuck.

WCS

Cowboys-Cosbys :: kidney stone-UTI

Unsurprised

Cosbys? Because watching them puts you to sleep and when you wake up your ass hurts?

Doktor Zymm

Oh c’mon, let the Commies have 12 guys on defense, it won’t actually help

Unsurprised

I decided to abstain from, well, everything while I was washing the ick off me between morning and afternoon games. And this is going to go super well.

Doktor Zymm

RAIIIIIIIIIII
DURRRRRRRRRS

jjfozz

My son and I have a running joke that the two weirdo neighbor kids are actually porn stars with a website that’s the most popular on the internet.

So each month, I make up a special theme they will be putting on the site. My success is gauged on my son’s reaction.

This month, instead of “back to school”, it’s “Back to Drool”, featuring 24 hours of the sloppiest BJs on the internet.

October’s theme “PumpingKin”

Doktor Zymm

Not Cock o’ Lantern?

ballsofsteelandfury

No “It’s The Great Blumpkin, Charlie Brown”???

Unsurprised

Given the rise of piss in the last year and especially since summer began (I pay too much attention but it’s also so fucking gross) in mainstream porn, I have some ideas for December

jjfozz

My idea was “Merry Pissmas”

Unsurprised

Great minds

LemonJello

OctoberBreast is right there for the taking.

BugEyedBoo

OctoberFist.

King Hippo

last holiday before ThanksGaping

Doktor Zymm

Tittyfucking Awareness Month

rockingdog

Creative writing practice with your kid!

That’s ROCKINGGGG!!!!

Beerguyrob

“Rusty Trombone’s Band Practice” is there for the taking.

Unsurprised

Footage of the two weirdo neighbor kids

comment image

jjfozz

I want to install a metal detector on their front door and monitor it before they leave the house to go to school, because they have that “vibe” about them.

Unsurprised

.

IMG_4655.jpeg
Mr. Ayo

Well played.

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King Hippo

First first down by EITHER TEAM!!

King Hippo

My Stroud/Beatie team (Vodka) might at least not get relegated. Ain’t even checking score of Maths Is Hard. Maybe I will have good waiver priority.

jjfozz

Fozz: has Dallas D in his fantasy

I want to watch the game

stupid fuck shit local Fox channel: Nah, we’re carrying the Buc-Commies game

Fuck the NFL with rusty piece of rebar

Unsurprised

Yarrrr

BugEyedBoo

nflbites is your friend.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

comment image

I ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT!

blaxabbath

“Stop hate!”

-Hateable Enterprise

Unsurprised

The league is subsidized by the military, insurers, and gambling. That is the most asinine and disingenuous horseshit ever to grace a football field.

Redshirt

“STOP HATE”

We did it. We stopped racism.

Unsurprised

We did seem to stop Asian hate. No one has mentioned that in years.

Redshirt

The Fear Right’s “China Virus” jokes beg to differ.

blaxabbath

If you see how asian wives run a household, you see why.

Redshirt

Let’s see I get the Tom Brady Show and…that’s it?! Haven’t I suffered enough in my life?

Unsurprised

No

blaxabbath

Like most people who were dead this time last year, Damar Hamlin had no problem stopping the Arizona Cardinals on that last drive.

King Hippo

BANNER

King Hippo

Sound is on the Donks/Truthers punt-a-thon, and will stay that way. Your late-game Hippoese likely less decipherable even than usual

Doktor Zymm

Oh hey, Commanders’ secondary bailed out by a dropped catch!

King Hippo

damnation, any entertainment will have to be….MRSA v. Commies???

Doktor Zymm

Could happen, although it’s probably more likely that Brady somehow gets injured in the booth

Unsurprised

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut the fuuuuuuuuuuck up.

Unsurprised

Funny. My phone autocorrects to Shit

King Hippo

in-com-PLETE!!!!!

Mr. Ayo

IN. COM. PLETE!!!!

King Hippo

like pattycake, these two offensing units

Unsurprised

*Ahem*

Go Turds. Fuck Dallas.

Unsurprised

Someone just fucking kill me.

Doktor Zymm

Is someone Clockwork Orangeing you with the Dallas/Browns game?

Unsurprised

Jesus fucking Christ. Even Redzone is playing his fucking announcing

rockingdog

This Hawks vs Broncos game seems kinda Rocking!!!!

Those Hawks jerseys & helmet are Rocking too!!!

Doktor Zymm

Wow, super early Donkswoo, swiftly followed by Donksmeh

King Hippo

suspect you’ll see MOAR of the latter (and tell your Samoan friend Hippo says hey)

King Hippo

WOO!!!!!

WCS

So, which one of you poor bastards had to go against Chris Boswell and/or the Stillers defense, and why is only Brocky 45 separate times?

ballsofsteelandfury

I had the Steelers D but had Boswell on my bench.

Bad Idea Jeans

King Hippo

1) Why would you roster TWO placement men?
2) Why would you bench the one playing in a domed environment?

ballsofsteelandfury

That league has a really deep bench. 6 players IIRC. The talent at the skill positions drops off big time late in the draft.

Gumbygirl

I have the Steelers D in the Lowratio league. Only 12 points, which seems wrong.

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