We’ve made it all the way back with detours on both Thursday and Friday night. (not bad tilts either!) But now it’s Sunday, time to ignore (or revel?) in the family as the games unfold. I expect a roll call of snacks and beverages from all those that post their thoughts/wares on this here thingy.
To The Games!
Steelers/Falcons:
Tomlin’s voodoo will ensure that Pitt has another winning season which will make it twenty straight for the franchise and tie the Cowboys mark from 1965-85. For a guy that has posted three consecutive 1,000 yard rushing campaigns, Najee doesn’t seem to get much respect-everyone wants the kid with the new, faster wheels-Jaylen Warren-to take over. But committee it will be and the Steelers win chances will be enhanced as a result.
Cards/Bills:
Murray’s been around for six years already? Man, that’s the sound of me getting older and time flying by. Do you see/feel a window closing in Buffalo? That’s the scuttlebutt given that they axed six of their captains and retained only 11 players that were on the roster last year. The wr room seems a bit compromised to me in the skill department but I know exactly squat.
Titans/Bears:
Two new-ish looking teams take the field. Recent signees Boyd, Pollard and Ridley bring some dynamism to a Tennessee project that said goodbye to their identity when King Henry left the castle. We’ll just have to see how this Will Levis kid adjusts in his second year. At some point this season I may just write something respectful regarding Chicago’s offense which will be the first time in the ten years I’ve been doing this gig.
Pats/Bengals:
What is New England anyway? Does it even matter if Burrow is healthy and there’s drama going on with his wideouts and the new weird haircut and what the hell? I’m a simple scribe and this game confuses me. I have no idea what is going on with either of these teams.
Texans/Colts:
Can Diggs regain his form from two years ago? One of my fantasy teams (I know, I know) happens to think that Slowik will get things figured out. So that answers my next question about the juice left in Mixon’s legs as well. Is Richardson essentially a rookie or has the extra time studying the game while rehabbing given him an added maturity? Opinions differ.
Jax/Fins:
Folks are down on Lawrence a wee bit but the wavy-haired wonder has the fifth-most passing yards of any qb at the three year mark of his career ever. Somehow ham-handed Evan Engram, with 114 catches, came within two of franchise record-holder Jimmy Smith. Maybe we should call him White Flight because getting the hell out of New York did him a helluva good.
Panthers/Saints:
Come on down, Dave Canales! Somehow you’re the seventh head coach in six seasons for Carolina. That ‘somehow’ is due to Tepper being an incompetent boob that won’t let his football people do their jobs. I eagerly await the inevitably leaked reports of the ‘toxic workplace’ he’s created.
Vikes/Giants:
This is the year we find out if JJ is quarterback-proof. Actually, Darnold will likely get out of the gate fast (no better team to do it against than New York) before eventually being who he is. The Giants flipped athleticism at the rb spot for some at the wr position in the form of wr Nabers. It’s the hope that kills you.
Enjoy.
The Bengals seem determined to continue my streak of bowing out in the first or second week of any eliminator challenge.
I picked them. And Burrow has gotten me 2 points in our match. The moral of the story, is never trust Cincinnati.
TJ Watt really is quite good at teh FITBAW
Sam Darnold is now 13 for 14 with like 160 yards!!!!?!?
That’s Rocking!
Is football an event in the Special Olympics?
Meet the New Bears, same as the Old Bears
I didn’t think you’d get to the fist fucking the dog (in the asshole) stage this early in the performance
Just settling in here after getting the dog walked. I kinda like the Giants jerseys. Not sure they’re working with the beige/tan pants.
Giants uniforms are appropriate attire for being dog walked
Keep walking the dog through 17% pollen 13% LSD air.
Ummm is QB Will Levi’s having a better day than Josh Allen?!?!?
In Maths is Hard scoring system, HIPPO is outscoring Brokeback
son-in-law material!
Jaylen Ramsey continuing the unbeaten streak of guys who get big extensions prior to immediately getting beat for big plays.
Still better than the Jaguars under Tom Coughlin.
I get that Ramsey ain’t at 100% yet… but do you think Stephen Ross is perhaps regretting that new contract just a little bit right now??
Holy shit Bungles. WTF.
Oh, Bengals…
Their failure is a sauce I spread all over my grilled woodchuck sandwiches
NOW THAT’S A FACKIN’ TURNOVAH BY MAHHCUS JONES!!!!
Don’t the Bengals know they’re supposed to make it to the playoffs before turning back into pumpkins?
SUDDEN CHANGE!
My god, Bungles.
You had the first down inside the 2, dickweed. SECURE THE BALL.
Bullshit penalty
I at least waited till almost 2pm before I decided to 420 it up. Beautiful cool day to be on the deck to watch football, hang out with my online friends, and listen to the couple who live behind us as the “wife” totally emasculates him and makes him sound like an idiot as she does this outside their house and at full volume. I will testify for his defense.
Time to play “What is Catch?”
In MATH HURTS! Dimes is actually leading Josh Allen +3 to -1.33
Bills Mafia ain’t got no defense. Making Wee Kyler look like he’ll get his X-box privileges back
Cards looking good. that coach knows how to mix up those plays
Fuck
THIS MIAMI OFFENSE, I CALL IT A SENIOR LIVING IN DEL BOCA VISTA BECAUSE IT’S IMPOTENT AND INCREDIBLY DISAPPOINTING
one more bad Tua throw and Daniels about ready to complete his full Unabomber transformation
dj moore looks hurt
yep, bears going for a 1st overall pick three peat
Giants getting beaten the fuck up by Sam “I Am” Darnold.
/I called it
Darnold is cooking rite now! 💪
That’s Rocking!!!
Braxton Berrios still in the League?? FOAR srsly???
Nobody can figure it out because he’s bad at returning
seems like he offers REEL leadership tho
One of the finer football-adjacent cereals in my book. Better than Flutie Flakes.
So apparently that Couch guy is still at large in Kentucky. Say what you will about Coach Walz, but you won’t see one of his ex-lovers going on a shooting rampage.
We did it! We got a first down!
Show off.
Sam Darnold becoming a legitimate starter with the Vikings would be hilarious to follow Geno in the “get drafted by the Jets, suck for them, suck for a few more years, and then finally become a respectable QB” pipeline.
My brother (a fellow Jets sufferer) wants to see Darnold light up the Giants to punish their fans for all their shit-talk.
He would appear to be getting his wish so far.
Someone’s gonna pay that paste-eater and really regret it.
Special deep ball from Special Young Man?
Stefon Diggs with the TD from CJ Stroud! 🏈
Seems Rockingggg!
I’ve got a boner that could cut diamonds right now.
Hey, someone made bail!
Bonus: I’m sober so I can get fucked up all over again.
PRO TIP – teh DTs won’t start if you get your load on in time!
I watched “The Lost Weekend” and took copious notes
Boner-Cutting Diamonds is the name of my Pink Floyd cover band.
why would you cut your boner with diamonds? or are you cutting someone else’s boner?
It’s generally not a good idea to ask scotchnaut about “cutting” lest he feel motivated to demonstrate his techniques.
LOL. Fuck the Cards.
– Horatio, playing poker
Is WR Marvin Harrison Jr gonna do anything today?!?!
Because that would be Rocking!
“How many points do you get for pulling a gun on some punk kid?”
-Marvin Harrison Sr, asking for a friend
…at least the Bengals punter is having a good game.
Burrow has gotten me, let’s see, ZERO fantasy points.
Da Bears Dabooting it
Really VJJ… really?
Tits with the big ensuing kickoff turnover deep in Chicago territory.
The Tits are on a roll early.
Titans are doing well also.
chicago 2023: *owns 1st overall pick*
chicago 2024: *owns 1st overall pick*
chicago 2025: *owns 1st overall pick*
Do you have yet another Black Panthers’ #1? Could have first two picks, then.
Hey, Kamala on my uh… Stream. Approve 🤷🏻♂️
There seem to be a Carolina fans around me. Poor bastards.
surprised can hear them with the ball gags they must have in their mouths
Tony Pollard is washed up blah blah
🤩😅
He seems Rockingggg!
Your preview motivated them. New Erotic Smashmouth!
Emo Carr, 2024 NFL MVP
Good lord, it’s the old Montreal Canadiens jerseys scheme that the Giants are wearing.
It’s funny, since it is a fantastic day here lots of people have their windows open, so I can hear yells of joy and pissed offness from the surrounding homes.
That’s Rocking!
Tits score!
Bengals without Higgins and healthy Chase is stuck in neutral.
I’d feel SMRTer about fading Buffalo in survivor, except that I rode with Cincy
I have no idea how Steelers-Falcons is the national game. I’m watching it in LA !
Murray trying to put this game away to go back to playing Astro Bot