Your Thursday Night NFL Football Open Thread

Welcome back folks and folkesses! This game may not be very many people’s cup of tea but we were gifted a 5 game late slate and two games on Monday night so the universe is just righting itself again. These Giants and Cowboys-I don’t think they’ve ever both been good at the same time for any extended period of time? NY was horrible in the 60’s and 70’s and then when the Parcells era came along Dallas was in their post-Staubach phase. Then when Jimmy Johnson came around the Giants were handed off to Ray Handey. I guess there was a period when Romo and Eli co-existed-that was fun. Ah well.

Notes:

Foot In Mouth Disease?:

I think that’s what Deshaun Watson might have. Commenting about designed runs he ventured-“I’m not a running back”. Well, listen, when you’re playing as badly as you are somebody should be advising you to say you’re all about the team and you’ll do anything to win. Thing is, he leads the team in yards per carry and actually has more total yards after contact than Jerome Ford on far less carries.

Back In The Folds:

That would be one KHunt. He’s been elevated from the practice squad to the 53 man roster. It was a long six years but we’re all aware of Andy’s philosophy when it comes to players, “The devil you know”.

To The Game!

Cowboys/Giants:

-not looking forward to this-it ain’t pretty

-Dak is 12-2 vs the Giants

-Dallas has won six straight and is 13-1 in their last 14 vs this squadoo.

-Lamb only has 13 grabs so far but Deonte Banks isn’t a #1 cornerback but he plays one on the Giants defense. I was hoping that Adoree Jackson could catch time in a bottle and help to bottle him but he’s a scratch this evening.

-Dallas has trouble running the ball-I guess that’s what naturally occurs when you go “All In” with a Zeke/Rico backfield.

-Dimes has gone two (2!) whole games without tossing a pick.

-The Giants D hasn’t sacked a Dallas QB since December 19, 2021.

-89-17 was the combined score between these teams last year.

-Singletary will rush for a TD and fumble the ball for the third straight game because that’s what he does.

Have a good time out there. I won’t.

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fleshwound_NPG

if that is taunting then brett favre’s dick is the size of idaho

Redshirt

There are fans, diehard fans and then there’s this guy.

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Doktor Zymm

there are quite a few long-time A’s fans that got totally screwed over by the move, it sucks

Spur

Will this take away the joy of watching Moneyball?

Doktor Zymm

Oh shit, Parsons ded?

Spur

no, just parts of his temporal lobe. he’ll be fine

Redshirt

“Damn back ailments.” Miami Dolphins Medical

litre_cola

Here’s a needle for your chest! – Dr. Chao

Unsurprised

Nothing like sitting back, cracking a cold one, and paying an IRS bill.

King Hippo

Write SOVEREIGN CITIZEN on a scrap of notebook paper, in your own excrement. They really enjoy jokes like that.

Redshirt

In the memo of the check, put “JFK lives. I have proof.”

WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wGfLFmlU8zo

The Factory of Sadness needs to reopen. Mike said he quit after the Cavs won the NBA title, and Hashtag Pauls went 0’fer.

Doktor Zymm

Yuck, that’s never fun

Unsurprised

Interest and fees: my mortal enemies. We meet again.

jjfozz

THE CONSTITUSHN NEVER SAYS THAT WE HAVA PAY TAXES!

LemonJello

TAXATION IS THEFT!

Don T

From the mind of Francis Ford Coppola: Flagopolis

King Hippo

the DERP hardly seems sufficient to make it past HT

Doktor Zymm

Yeah, nothing really embarrassing has happened, this is pretty pedestrian, more mediocre than truly derpy

WCS

(appear visibly confused)

is another option

fleshwound_NPG

good: he know cowboys had a weakness against a star running back last week

bad: barkley plays for the iggles now

King Hippo

good ol’ rock, nuthin’ beats rock!

clint greasewood

BLEEEERGH pregame meeting

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fleshwound_NPG

with mayor eric adams now out of the way there is nothing stopping jerrah from buying officials at his leisure

Don T

This game I call it visiting abuela ‘cause its ¡castigo! Zyhen ice cream.

LemonJello

Dubble J didn’t write a check, he Venmo’d that money right into the ref’s accounts.

King Hippo

When in doubt, call ShieldAssist! ™

Spur

WHAT! no flags on Dallas.

Mr. Ayo

BLEEEERGH is feasting!

LemonJello

Which do you think satiates BLEERGH more; bad penalties or declined penalties?

Mr. Ayo

Picked up penalties. Full BLEERGH flavoUr, no BLEERGH caloUries.

LemonJello
Spur

Gee…giving the Ball to best offensive player seems to be working for Dallas

Spur

The Itty Bitty Dallas running back is the current best running back for Dallas

Doktor Zymm

Seems like there should be something in broadcasting contracts that says they don’t have to pay commentators who can’t actually legally commentate on stuff

jjfozz

HOLY FUCK WE GET IT CEEDEE LAMB ACTED LIKE AN ASSHOLE! GOOD CHRIST PUT THE KNEEPADS AWAY

Spur

can they talk next about Double Js bastard army?

LemonJello

In other news, water: wet, sky: blue. Weather and traffic on the sevens.

NotShogunButShogun

I say again, for the 2nd week now, How do you fuck up a kickoff?
Oh HAI Bluebunny! You again!

jjfozz

Mystery facemask call. Jesus the refs suck ass.

fleshwound_NPG

why in gods name would somebody bet money on this

King Hippo

I read an article this week about how AI bots basically ensure that you CAN’T win moneys, either in poker rooms or sportsbook (in latter, it learns what you like to bet and starts screwing with your lines).

Doktor Zymm

Are they talking about poker playing bots? Because the nice thing about poker is you aren’t playing against the house and it would be hella fucked up and I’m guessing a lawsuit waiting to happen if the house put in shill players, but I don’t know what protections they have against external bot players

King Hippo

yeah the poker room bots were the focus of the big Bloomberg article, our Russian palz again (mostly)

fleshwound_NPG

lol hilarious BLEERGH with that face mask

jerrah’s check cleared pre-game

jjfozz

Subway dropped the prices of its subs.

Now diarrhea is cheaper

Brick Meathook
jjfozz

I think diarrhea has been Jared’s go to defense mechanism since he was locked up

litre_cola

Didn’t he get dead?

litre_cola

Do you reckon this is Zeke’s last year?

Spur

nah, he’ll get another year to waste a roster spot.

jjfozz

almost three hour drive this morning to DC in the driving rain. there should be a special torture invented for assholes who drive in the rain like it’s a sunny afternoon. Maybe I can be that torturer.

King Hippo

I had a rule when I worked in DC (lived in NoVa) – if rain in the forecast, go home by 3 or stay until 7:30.

jjfozz

Yeah, I was thinking about not going, but i was up at 530 and didn’t want to go back to sleep. Bad choice.

King Hippo

I’ve been up since 3:00a. BROTHER!

/did go to bed at 7p last night at least

LemonJello

“Black Nabers? Not while I’m president of Purgatory’s HOA!”

-Jerry Richardson, desiccated corpse

King Hippo

I mean, c’mon. You’d NEVAR expect Dimebag Ha’penny to throw to THAT guy!

fleshwound_NPG

yea, leave THAT guy super wide open

blaxabbath

I’m going to a place that is a steakhouse (like a westerny casual one; not a fancy one) but their chicken fried steak is their shit, the claim.

IS CHICKEN FRIED STEAK A SANDWICH STEAK?

BugEyedBoo

As much as Swiss steak and cube steak is.

King Hippo

I used to hate cube steak, then in high school I loved it.

/this is the only time cube steak has come up in conversation in 30 years

litre_cola

Ok, I will bite, what the hell is cube steak?

fleshwound_NPG

met life stadium “grass” is the most gray-ass green ever

blaxabbath

Because killer robots have the capacity to be The Green.

jjfozz

Looking forward to another Lamb meltdown

litre_cola

Inshallah

Spur

Am rooting for him to lead a munity

Spur

Malik so humble with Diamond and platinum grill. I give it 2 years before he demands a trade.

fleshwound_NPG

fanatics sucks, thankfully there are options…for now. these dudes brought back the old 90s logo athletic diamond hats

https://www.47brand.com/collections/pavilion-collection

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fleshwound_NPG

gettin the avs one for hukkey szn

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blaxabbath

You sound like Marvin Harrison Jr.

fleshwound_NPG

SR.

jr would not know how to look dope in these like his old man probably did back in the day

Spur

just noticed haven’t seen any political ads on the Prime stream.

Redshirt

Eh, they already decided who won anyway.

Don T

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King Hippo

This is why you should NEVAR drug test overnight stockers.

blaxabbath

Just get them off shift so they can be home in time for my rush hour commute.

Spur

Micah looking into sneaking on a Greyhound bus to Landover.

litre_cola

Need me some Dak but hold the lamb.

Spur

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Doktor Zymm

I would say the Giants DO have a slim chance here, and I’ll be rooting for them because Cowpoker fan reaction would be too funny. If the Vertically Enhanced win this, I really want one of our resident Cowpeople supporters to do a Reacts Reasonably post

LemonJello

“Giant D? Don’t bother me for the next 3 hours!”

-D Favre, from behind her locked bedroom door

King Hippo

Speaking of, has anyone ever dated someone right after they broke up with a micropenis dude? That has to be, like, the most life-affirming feeling a man can have

Spur

in light of recent news he should be able to finish himself off quickly.

King Hippo

I am starting BOTH Singletary AND the Cowperson D/ST. How is Hippo above the relegation zone?

/did lose by 80+ last week

//how come if Ballsy likes eating ass so much, he ain’t a Cowpersons supporter? HUH???

ballsofsteelandfury

Does it help that my best friend is a Cowboys fan?

King Hippo

MAYBE!!!

Spur
blaxabbath

It’s fucking America. Quit trying to lock people down.

Spur

Can Danny Dimes end my suffering a finish off the Cowboys tonight? Am not that lucky…..

Spur

Evening Folks

Don T

I’m just here to see the Jints. God these edibles are da bomb.

fleshwound_NPG

this has a thursday night 13-10 finish written all over it

Redshirt

Could this be the fabled 6-4 F/OT game that Nostradamus had foretold?

Redshirt

Me entering the Clubhouse and seeing who’s playing tonight:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkJehlr1tEw

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Footage of tonight’s game (artist’s conception)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rl4s1D4MGH8

Redshirt
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