We’ve got a nice selection of games in this window-a couple of interesting divisional tilts and of course there are a few teams that desperately need a W. [stares in Ohio]
To The Games!
Broncs/Jets:
With Garrett Wilson getting a TD last week, Rodgers for the first time ever threw a score to a wr that was drafted in the first round. The Packers front office could be just as passive-aggressive as Rodgers himself. Is Denver’s running game off to a slow start? Well, rookie Bo Nix leads the team in rushing with barely over 100 yards. (107) He’s also run into the end zone twice which is good because he hasn’t thrown the ball there yet.
Vikes/Packers:
Minny has knocked off two playoff teams from last year (Texans, Niners) and never trailed. Magic Sam is off to a sizzling start but grizzled 29 year-old vet [rolls eyes] Aaron Jones has been doing his part, running at a 5.4 ypc clip. As a bonus he gets his Narrative Revenge Game! Love is back for Green Bay and Addison for the Vikes which gives the latter a wonderful problem to have-what to do with Nailor?
Saints/Falcons:
These teams have played one another 110 times and each has won 55 tilts! Kamara has drunk from the Fountain of Youth and leads the NFL in scrimmage yards just like the old days. An odd thing about Atlanta last year was that they had a stingy run D and there has been some carryover-they’ve yet to surrender a rushing touchdown.
Eagles/Bucs:
Saquon leads the league in rushing because hey, competent o-line! Some Philly wr has to fill the void now that Smith has joined Brown on the injury list, perhaps Dotson? It’s time for that insurance piece to shine although there wasn’t much faith in him last week as he had only three targets.
Bengals/Panthers:
It’s The Battle of the De-Clawed Kitties! Carolina is excited about Dalton which is the first time anyone outside his family has felt that way. Vet Thielen has a hammy so the youngster Mingo and Legette will have to fill the void.
Jax/Texans:
Josh Allen threw for 4 scores vs the Jags D and Nico already has 12 catches for 15+ yards so expect mayhem from Stroud. Girlfriend has struggled mightily and leads all QB’s in turnovers since the year he entered the league.
Steelers/Colts:
I was of the opinion that Indy had a respectful D but both Mixon and Jacobs have run for 150+ yards against them. It looks like Warren is a no-go so they’ll see Najee in their nightmares this evening, no doubt. As Richardson works through his growing pains Michael Pittman is feeling the collateral damage in his stats-he has but 88 yards receiving to date.
Rams/Bears:
Can you believe that Caleb set the Bears single game passing record of 363 in only his third outing? All these years and no Chicago QB has ever gone for 400? It’s a bit difficult to believe. Speaking of tossing, Stafford needs just 223 yards to pass Eli for 10th all-time. He’ll need help from second-teamers Robinson and Tutu to get there. Good luck with that.
See you in the comments.
ALL PRAISE AND GLORY BE UPON THEE, BLEERGH
“Jacksonville/Houston has turned into a real cross-burner! Barn, BARN burner!”*
-JD Vance
*there were undocumented immigrants hiding in said barn, hence Vance’s smile
Jobu got his rum at HT, good jorb Yinzers!
They just flipped on a girls basketball game and the pass back to a player at the top of the three saw her slip and fall down while the ball rolled out of bounds.
Good fundamentals my ass.
Folks: “Oh, now that Pitts has a half-decent guy at QB, we’ll see his talent shine through!”
Pitts: “Maybe I just like to disappear during games. I Want To Be A Magician One Day!”
Me: “It’s right there in his name and I draft him every goddamn year. Smh…”
That was rocking
We got one of these drinks at Dave and busters where they put a cocktail in like a growler.
I’m camped in the bar thing with this thing getting drunk while wife is with kid on his second wind. So i can see the games.
All meaningless.
The kid or the wife?
Blocked xp conversion?!?!
“You don’t see that every day!”
-Edmond Halley, football announcer
I feel bad for the Packers having lost the make-a-wish lottery and being compelled to make Sam Darnold look this competent.
And of course twelve seconds after I post this Darnold throws a pick.
bears…offense?!?!
What defense are the Eagles playing, it looks like ring around the rosy, with the receiver in the middle
Afternoon, ingrates and inmates. Hope your days are all going sufficiently pantslessly.
We have replaced the Pissburgh Steelers with the 80’s Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Will people notice?
Jameis-level stupidity.
WE DID IT!!! THE BENGALS DEFENSE FORCED A PUNT!!!
ah, the justin fields bears fans warned the yinzers about
The Colts need to be taught what is a tackle, I have never seen anyone miss that badly before.
Nix finally into positive yards.
For now.
I think this Saquon guy may be pretty good.
So very, very glad Yahoo drafted Breece Hall for me one spot ahead of whoever got Justin Jefferson, that gave itself an A-. Don’t sprain your shoulder patting yourself on the back for that one, Yahoo.
I can’t believe you didn’t start Derek Carr. Coward!
Ouch. That was a pretty Saints play.
Thanks so much Coach LaFleur, changing a 2nd and goal from the 1 into the 16-yard line when I’ve got GB’s goal line back on my fantasy team.
Wow. The Shield really hates the cheese-eaters today.
“And fuck you right back”
Respect. Respect.
Matt LaFleur having a normal one.
He’s right, but he can fuck himself.
Heartbreaking.
LOL
Does anyone in Freezer Vodka need a QB so I can stop picking the wrong one to start?
You are destroying me!
This Jets-Broncos games is really bringing me back to the good old days of football.
Those days being when people thought it should be banned because it was a lot of hitting for no apparent reason.
When you said “a lot of hitting for no apparent reason” I thought you were talking about Tyreek Hill’s parenting methods.
In my mind I was giving Jahan Dotson shit for being a non-entity so far today. He plays during the late slate. I’m fine, really.
I mean, you weren’t wrong, exactly.
My word! This Anthony Richardson fellow is really starting to remind me of my old Scottish caber-tossing colleague, J. Marcus Russell. Let us hope that he has not discovered Irsay’s cough syrup supply yet!
Surely something is wrong with this yahoo! box score, it says Boseph Nix has 6 completions for negative 7 yards.
He’s ready for the Masters!
/orgasms in Jim Nantz
Hello, friends.
Disappointing Broncos Quarterbacking (post-2015) — A Tradition Unlike Any Other!
…but…but…how?!
Because you’re a Bungle
I’ve been watching the game. it’s a combination of the Jets coverage, the weather being very bad, and Bo Nix being not very good.
RRRRRAMMIT SHANK’LOR
Injury Update:
Anthony Richardson: Out (refused to slide)
Anthony Richardson: Out (ELITE backup)
Tua mentoring paying off
Orgy of BLEERGH – a Houston 500s Special Event
A certain dog on this site got his Roshomon TD.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCZ9TguVOIA&ab_channel=JanusFilms
Dalton to the Cincy sideline
Indy trying to give up a safety.
Tomlin gonna need to sacrifice a goat to come back and win, too bad Brady is not calling this game and in easy reach.
HOLY FUCKING SHIT!
Darnold is on fire, raising my chances of winning in Math Hard! from 5% to 17%!
Hurdle!
/drinks
Love seeing GB getting curb stomped
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNC0kIzM1Fo
Holy shit, we agree on something!
Jeebus, yeah right must have a chub-on that could cut glass.
Minny about to score again. What’s Love got to do with it? A lot.
Of course I’m playing against the Vikings defense today. Ah well. Hopefully Green Bay can get some garbage time points.
I have the Green Bay so-called defense.
I have the Vikings defense.
I also have Breece Hall.
My opponent is a considerable favoUrite.
Someone has scored in Donks/Jets. I repeat. Someone has scored in Donks/Jets.
Congrats to the drunken couple in the port-a-potty!
“Just be sure to eat some eucalyptus bark to boost your chrommune system afterwards – there’s lots of microfluoroflagellites in those port-a-potties.” – Aaron Rodgers
Taylor-Britt is playing himself out of a job.
/nods in Nick Sirianni
Jeez, Burrow! Don’t pull a Grammatica celebration!
GFDI. That last exchange last night gave me a nightmare.
Now I have to go car shopping. But at least I’m having a better day that Bidet.
That looked scary, I really do hope he is ok, I liked watching him play.
Bidet dead, has been flushed.
What the bananafuck is going on, Steelers?