Wakey, Wakey-It’s Your Sunday Afternoon NFL Open Thread

We’ve got a nice selection of games in this window-a couple of interesting divisional tilts and of course there are a few teams that desperately need a W. [stares in Ohio]

To The Games!

Broncs/Jets:

With Garrett Wilson getting a TD last week, Rodgers for the first time ever threw a score to a wr that was drafted in the first round. The Packers front office could be just as passive-aggressive as Rodgers himself. Is Denver’s running game off to a slow start? Well, rookie Bo Nix leads the team in rushing with barely over 100 yards. (107) He’s also run into the end zone twice which is good because he hasn’t thrown the ball there yet.

Vikes/Packers:

Minny has knocked off two playoff teams from last year (Texans, Niners) and never trailed. Magic Sam is off to a sizzling start but grizzled 29 year-old vet [rolls eyes] Aaron Jones has been doing his part, running at a 5.4 ypc clip. As a bonus he gets his Narrative Revenge Game! Love is back for Green Bay and Addison for the Vikes which gives the latter a wonderful problem to have-what to do with Nailor?

Saints/Falcons:

These teams have played one another 110 times and each has won 55 tilts! Kamara has drunk from the Fountain of Youth and leads the NFL in scrimmage yards just like the old days. An odd thing about Atlanta last year was that they had a stingy run D and there has been some carryover-they’ve yet to surrender a rushing touchdown.

Eagles/Bucs:

Saquon leads the league in rushing because hey, competent o-line! Some Philly wr has to fill the void now that Smith has joined Brown on the injury list, perhaps Dotson? It’s time for that insurance piece to shine although there wasn’t much faith in him last week as he had only three targets.

Bengals/Panthers:

It’s The Battle of the De-Clawed Kitties! Carolina is excited about Dalton which is the first time anyone outside his family has felt that way. Vet Thielen has a hammy so the youngster Mingo and Legette will have to fill the void.

Jax/Texans:

Josh Allen threw for 4 scores vs the Jags D and Nico already has 12 catches for 15+ yards so expect mayhem from Stroud. Girlfriend has struggled mightily and leads all QB’s in turnovers since the year he entered the league.

Steelers/Colts:

I was of the opinion that Indy had a respectful D but both Mixon and Jacobs have run for 150+ yards against them. It looks like Warren is a no-go so they’ll see Najee in their nightmares this evening, no doubt. As Richardson works through his growing pains Michael Pittman is feeling the collateral damage in his stats-he has but 88 yards receiving to date.

Rams/Bears:

Can you believe that Caleb set the Bears single game passing record of 363 in only his third outing? All these years and no Chicago QB has ever gone for 400? It’s a bit difficult to believe. Speaking of tossing, Stafford needs just 223 yards to pass Eli for 10th all-time. He’ll need help from second-teamers Robinson and Tutu to get there. Good luck with that.

See you in the comments.

 

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King Hippo

ALL PRAISE AND GLORY BE UPON THEE, BLEERGH

King Hippo

Jobu got his rum at HT, good jorb Yinzers!

blaxabbath

They just flipped on a girls basketball game and the pass back to a player at the top of the three saw her slip and fall down while the ball rolled out of bounds.

Good fundamentals my ass.

Unsurprised

That was rocking

blaxabbath

We got one of these drinks at Dave and busters where they put a cocktail in like a growler.

I’m camped in the bar thing with this thing getting drunk while wife is with kid on his second wind. So i can see the games.

All meaningless.

litre_cola

Blocked xp conversion?!?!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I feel bad for the Packers having lost the make-a-wish lottery and being compelled to make Sam Darnold look this competent.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

And of course twelve seconds after I post this Darnold throws a pick.

fleshwound_NPG

bears…offense?!?!

ArmedandHammered

What defense are the Eagles playing, it looks like ring around the rosy, with the receiver in the middle

The Maestro

Afternoon, ingrates and inmates. Hope your days are all going sufficiently pantslessly.

ArmedandHammered

We have replaced the Pissburgh Steelers with the 80’s Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Will people notice?

Unsurprised

Jameis-level stupidity.

Redshirt

WE DID IT!!! THE BENGALS DEFENSE FORCED A PUNT!!!

fleshwound_NPG

ah, the justin fields bears fans warned the yinzers about

ArmedandHammered

The Colts need to be taught what is a tackle, I have never seen anyone miss that badly before.

Unsurprised

Nix finally into positive yards.

For now.

Unsurprised

I think this Saquon guy may be pretty good.

Horatio Cornblower

So very, very glad Yahoo drafted Breece Hall for me one spot ahead of whoever got Justin Jefferson, that gave itself an A-. Don’t sprain your shoulder patting yourself on the back for that one, Yahoo.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I can’t believe you didn’t start Derek Carr. Coward!

Unsurprised

Ouch. That was a pretty Saints play.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Thanks so much Coach LaFleur, changing a 2nd and goal from the 1 into the 16-yard line when I’ve got GB’s goal line back on my fantasy team.

Unsurprised

Wow. The Shield really hates the cheese-eaters today.

Unsurprised

“And fuck you right back”

Respect. Respect.

litre_cola

Matt LaFleur having a normal one.

Unsurprised

He’s right, but he can fuck himself.

Unsurprised

Heartbreaking.

LOL

Senor Weaselo

Does anyone in Freezer Vodka need a QB so I can stop picking the wrong one to start?

litre_cola

You are destroying me!

Horatio Cornblower

This Jets-Broncos games is really bringing me back to the good old days of football.

Those days being when people thought it should be banned because it was a lot of hitting for no apparent reason.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

When you said “a lot of hitting for no apparent reason” I thought you were talking about Tyreek Hill’s parenting methods.

Horatio Cornblower

I mean, you weren’t wrong, exactly.

Cecil Rhodes

My word! This Anthony Richardson fellow is really starting to remind me of my old Scottish caber-tossing colleague, J. Marcus Russell. Let us hope that he has not discovered Irsay’s cough syrup supply yet!

herodotus450

Surely something is wrong with this yahoo! box score, it says Boseph Nix has 6 completions for negative 7 yards.

Mr. Ayo

He’s ready for the Masters!

King Hippo

/orgasms in Jim Nantz

Horatio Cornblower

Hello, friends.

Cecil Rhodes

Disappointing Broncos Quarterbacking (post-2015) — A Tradition Unlike Any Other!

Redshirt

…but…but…how?!

IMG_0275.png
Unsurprised

Because you’re a Bungle

Horatio Cornblower

I’ve been watching the game. it’s a combination of the Jets coverage, the weather being very bad, and Bo Nix being not very good.

fleshwound_NPG

RRRRRAMMIT SHANK’LOR

fleshwound_NPG

Anthony Richardson: Out (ELITE backup)

Gatoraids

Tua mentoring paying off

King Hippo

Orgy of BLEERGH – a Houston 500s Special Event

Spur

Dalton to the Cincy sideline

comment image

Unsurprised

Indy trying to give up a safety.

ArmedandHammered

Tomlin gonna need to sacrifice a goat to come back and win, too bad Brady is not calling this game and in easy reach.

Unsurprised

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!

Unsurprised

Hurdle!

/drinks

Spur

Love seeing GB getting curb stomped

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNC0kIzM1Fo

litre_cola

Holy shit, we agree on something!

King Hippo

Jeebus, yeah right must have a chub-on that could cut glass.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Of course I’m playing against the Vikings defense today. Ah well. Hopefully Green Bay can get some garbage time points.

ArmedandHammered

I have the Green Bay so-called defense.

Horatio Cornblower

I have the Vikings defense.

I also have Breece Hall.

My opponent is a considerable favoUrite.

Redshirt

Congrats to the drunken couple in the port-a-potty!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Just be sure to eat some eucalyptus bark to boost your chrommune system afterwards – there’s lots of microfluoroflagellites in those port-a-potties.” – Aaron Rodgers

Redshirt

Taylor-Britt is playing himself out of a job.

King Hippo

/nods in Nick Sirianni

Redshirt

Jeez, Burrow! Don’t pull a Grammatica celebration!

Unsurprised

GFDI. That last exchange last night gave me a nightmare.

Now I have to go car shopping. But at least I’m having a better day that Bidet.

ArmedandHammered

That looked scary, I really do hope he is ok, I liked watching him play.

ArmedandHammered

Bidet dead, has been flushed.