Your Sunday Night NFL Football Open Thread

We made it! Maybe I did too! That’s a long day to put in.

I think Lynn Swann’s amazing catch in the Super Bowl was the first NFL play that I can recall. I didn’t see it live but it was shown a great deal because it was stunning for the time. I always preferred Stallworth though.

To The Game!

Cowboys/Steelers:

-Dak’s been tossing the rock quite a bit lately, averaging 300 per in his last two outings. He’ll have more of a challenge this week as Pitt is seventh overall in defensive DVOA.

-Lamb should be the primary target-he’s so tough to get a handle on because he almost evenly splits him time between the slot and outside.

-If Zeke has a job next year I’ll be stunned. Kudos to the Jones Boys and the pity contract they gave him. This circumstance forces  Cowboys fans to try to say with a straight face, “this is Rico Dowdle’s backfield now”.

-Fields of Fire: Not just an old 80’s Big Country tune but a description of Justin’s play last week. He became the first Steelers qb to throw for 300, rush for 50 and score two TD’s on the ground. That said, he’s on a very tight leash, having thrown into the end zone a grand total of four times so far this season.

-Somehow Pat Freiermuth is the second-ranked fantasy tight end. Don’t ask me how. Also, yes, it’s been that bad for the position this year. It makes sense given how much passing yards are down overall. Why would you toss the ball to the slow (relatively speaking) guy when you do put it into the air?

-Najee has yet to score so far but that’s to be expected, what with only two goal line carries.

That’s all.

 

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WCS

PRAISE BLEERGH

WCS

There you go, George. There’s that HIGH END TALENT you say you’re worth.

Gumbygirl

Wooooooooooooohoooooooo!

Mr. Ayo
Bogdanski

Thank you Greggggggg

WCS

PRAISE SHAN’KLOR

fleshwound_NPG

nobody on gods green earth respects dak prescott

WCS

Possible OD distracting me from the touchdown…

Is that a sign I should not watch?

King Hippo

Tell them about 912!

Gatoraids

was me calling in thinking i hallucinated that touchdown, sry

fleshwound_NPG

stiller…offense!

Brick Meathook
Gatoraids

The Mist was bound for a sequel

Doktor Zymm

Hey, maybe the Cowfolk are the team from Texas that don’t exist, since it’s possible all the time I’ve spent watching them doesn’t exist!

FB_IMG_1728270444414.jpg
Bogdanski

Cunk on philosophy!

Gatoraids

disappointed in not finding Philomena Crunk photoshops though

WCS

comment image

Mr. Ayo

I, for one, am all Snooped out. I neither need nor want to see or hear from him during halftime of an NFL game.

Brick Meathook
Senor Weaselo

“Here’s the world-famous football commentator…”

Mr. Ayo

Vast improvement. 12/10, would pet.

Bogdanski

Apparently you can get even more of him tomorrow on Today

King Hippo

When he shares his favorite Christmas decoration tips!

yeah right

I was preparing for sleep after a long ass day of mandatory football. Brushed my teeth, scrubbed the face, fluffed the pillow and heard NOFX play “Oh no, I OD’ed” live out of my window.

Now I can rest in peace.

Col. Duke LaCross

It’s their last show!*

*subject to any future financial complications suffered by Fat Mike

Unsurprised

I don’t get Hollywood. Hollywood clearly doesn’t get America. Just put attractive people in commercials. It’s not magic.

rockingdog

Found a funny:

It’s sad that we’ve never had a Joker film that’s accurate to his portrayal in the original source material: a man who gets away after the Batmobile loses a wheel

Senor Weaselo

I can’t believe that Atlus got the money to make a major motion picture, thanks Sonic the Hedgehog lifting all movie boats for Sega!

Hang on, I’m getting something in my earpiece…

Gatoraids

Please storm come back, we were wrong to forsake you.

Doktor Zymm

Creative use of blitz, complete field coverage, shutout both teams, storm was a defensive genius!

WCS

Who knew this is what nefarious means “THEY” had in mind! Marjorie was right!

https://www.newsweek.com/marjorie-taylor-greene-doubles-down-weather-comments-after-backlash-1964508

Unsurprised

You can’t tell me that Pittsburgh, among other teams, doesn’t have a “IN CASE OF STORM, BREAK GLASS ON ALL-RUSHING GAME” playbook.

rockingdog

And then Higasioka hits a HR!!!
8-1 Padres!

That’s Rocking!!!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That poor tomato can the Dodgers brought in for the top of the ninth sure can serve up some tasty 100 mph meatballs.

Unsurprised

JUST RUN IT yoU DIVKS

WCS

Each drive more kickier than the last!

rockingdog

Dude!
Darvish was Rocking today
Looks like Padres are gonna get the W! ⚾️

That’s ROCKING!!!!!

Bogdanski

Higgy Higgy Higgy!!!

Brick Meathook

LAX North Field today at 6 PM. Terminals 1 through 3 are just next to the Tom Bradley International terminal, with the iconic Theme Building in the back. A Lufthansa Airbus A-380 is in the taxiway, preparing for takeoff.

https://ibb.co/WDdT73J

Wakezilla

This game is boring. Can we make it another 41 years before they play again?

King Hippo

Or…hear me out. LANDMINES!

Unsurprised

That’s not long enough

fleshwound_NPG

Lols Angeles Dodgers

Horatio Cornblower

Just removed a spider from the washing machine that was so big I rewarded myself with a glass of Scotch.

Gatoraids

even the imaginary ones count in a game this late

Unsurprised

Unless it is big enough to verify your account, it’s not that big.

That said, spiders are bros. I hope you didn’t kill it.

Unsurprised

I don’t trust anyone named Watt except the first guy.

WCS

I’m definitely getting stares while I silent signal first down off the fumble recovery while typing a parking complaint into the computer.

comment image

yeah right

I went to have a piss and Pennywise was playing Fuck Authority live out my bathroom window.

Hell yeah.

Gumbygirl

I thought you were going ?

yeah right

Work tomorrow and that’s about it.

Gatoraids

the Fuck Authority also one of Rex Grossmans nom de plumes.

Unsurprised

Not Laserface’s? Say what you will, but the man FUCKS

Unsurprised

I really shouldn’t be drinking this much. I have a big meeting tomorrow.

Bah! Hangovers are for pussies.

Wakezilla

So I had my fantasy hockey draft last night. Lots of booze was consumed. I ended up with 3 Ice Alouettes and 3 rookies. I’m not winning this pool this year

ballsofsteelandfury

I’ve seen stupid challenges, but GODDAMN was that a stupid challenge!

Mr. Ayo

And they got the ball anyway after the next snap.

Mr. Ayo

That’s a waste of a timeout. Great call Bluebunny.

Gatoraids

andy reid approves of both

Unsurprised

GREASEBALL!

Doktor Zymm

It’s too bad they didn’t play all the commercials during the delay so they could speed up the football portion of the evening.

yeah right

They lost me.

I’m all in on baseball.

Fuck the Dodgers.

Shit talking motherfuckers.

Let’s go Padres!

Bogdanski

Though to be fair, yesterday some Padres fans punched out an LA fan and left a bunch of blood on the seats. So many people suck

Unsurprised

This is why baseball will never be a sport. The action in the stands beats the action on the field.

Unsurprised

Your opinion is bad and you should feel bad.

yeah right

Yeah but now they’re throwing trash on the field.

Stay classy dodger fans.

Unsurprised

Mexicans, Dude

rockingdog

That’s ROCKING!

Spur

always the penalties for Dallas

Gatoraids

like being in Texas?

Unsurprised

The death penalty.

Unsurprised

Sic Semper Dickheads.

Unsurprised

I want to reiterate that the only reason I hate Stav is that he has gotten even fatter since he left Cumtown and became mainstream. Get your shit together, fatty.

Col. Duke LaCross

Do the Stillers have anything but tight ends?

Unsurprised

Is that a challenge?
– D. Watson

WCS

This is Arthur Smith running the offense, except Freiermuth to try a double-reverse-sweep-flea-flicker on 3rd and 5, down four with 23 seconds left on Dallas’ one-yard line.

ballsofsteelandfury

comment image

Unsurprised

If that is who I think it is, she did anal.

Unsurprised

It is. And she did.

Unsurprised

Tiffany Thompson. She has bomb-ass X-Art videos.

ballsofsteelandfury

Jenna Haze is a Steelers fan, but I can’t post any of her pictures here…

Unsurprised

Really? She must have a weed biz with SFW photos.

ballsofsteelandfury

Well, I meant pictures with her in Steelers gear…

Unsurprised

Gotcha. The slavic demon’s got me.

Unsurprised

There are some PDX-based porn stars. They are fetish girls though, so, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. But I ran into one by happenstance a year ago. I didn’t realize until after, but I kind of wish I knew. Because I obviously would have done something different.

Unsurprised

Jenna Haze is the anal queen, but TT is really pretty.

Unsurprised

She had an interview about quitting because her videos were being pirated. But, G, you’re already getting screwed over by Mindgeek, et al. That’s no reason to walk away.

That said, she still looks the same.

ballsofsteelandfury

Indeed!

Doktor Zymm

‘hope is here’ in the gambling problem disclaimer. Lol

Gatoraids

Now sponsoring a Hope Parlay to quit gambling, drinking and smoking in one night.

King Hippo

prop bets for Intervention contestants!

Gatoraids

i got a system… its called relapse

WCS

“Wanna bet on it?” — DraftKings

Unsurprised

I want everyone involved in gambling to die slowly and painfully.

After they are forced to watch their family die slowly and painfully.

Unsurprised

That includes the valets and the buffet employees. This is like the contractors on the Death Star – they knew what they signed on to.

WCS

comment image

Unsurprised

BERSERKER!

blaxabbath

Why be in the in the NFL if you don’t want to make that catch?

blaxabbath

I have the game on mute. Can that be Dan Campbell in the Applebees commercial?

Redshirt

This is why I hate artificial turf. With the amount of rain they got, they should by playing in a swamp and their jerseys should be 20% covered by mud.

Unsurprised

That would be cool.

Fucking 21st century pussies

Downfield Matriculator

This broadcast would be enhanced if NBC offered a Peacock version of the Manningcast, maybe with Devin and Jason McCourty . . or, thinking outside the box, maybe Bella and Gigi Hadid

Gatoraids

you think they’d grab some from SNL and put that on the service, but still too soon after Dennis Miller to try that again

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The Deschanel sisters don’t seem to be all that busy.

Unsurprised

I hate who Snoop Dogg has become. I never liked Ice-T because he sucked before he became an actor, but now he still acts hard even though he’s been pretending to be a cop for a quarter century. So fuck him. But Snoop weirdly fell into his persona becoming legit/legal. Martha Stewart getting prison cred and hanging out with him helped them both, but, fuck, I want my gangsta rappers to be gangstas. This is like watching Godfather 3 Michael Corleone. Just kill the poor bastard already.

Unsurprised

I haven’t consumed this much vodka in one sitting in a decade

blaxabbath

We’re like one drive into the game man!

Unsurprised

I know. I’m holding back.

blaxabbath

It is true. Every single one of them was, is, and always intended to be a sellout.

Bill Waterson is the last true artist.

Unsurprised

Even Gary Larson has a nonstop merchandising legacy

Doktor Zymm

I don’t think you get the real deal past age 30

Bogdanski

…and now, Peter Frampton!
https://comb.io/34Nh4c

herodotus450

Vanilla Ice the realest of em all it turns out

Unsurprised

Too Short is the realest, but Vanilla Ice isn’t out of the running.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Uncensored version. Fuck Youtube

https://youtu.be/qBmU9drpYAM

Col. Duke LaCross

But was IceT ever really considered a rapper? Body Count is a metal band. And fucking OWNS.

Unsurprised

He was in that anti-gang video, so, yes.

Senor Weaselo

“I tried!” -Diddy

Spur

Soggy pennsylvanians, the smell must be atrocious.

Unsurprised

But, Moe, the dank! The dank!

Gatoraids

thankfully the black jerseys cover up the details of what would be the world harriest nipples wet tshirt contest in the stadium

blaxabbath

Sitting on a couch with another couple playing that dumb game looks like the worst evening in the world.

Unsurprised

Waiting for the Molly to kick in

blaxabbath

Where would I get molly?

Unsurprised

Oh. I thought that was a theoretical.

Tempe.

Unsurprised

I have to assume the Univision broadcast is better than what you’re seeing

Unsurprised

These two are something else. Mexican Henry Rollins and a sumo looking mf who’s a head taller (because Henry is short af)

King Hippo

This State Farm Kickoff is sponsored by Hippo’s Pill Bottle. Opium – it’s what’s FOAR dinner.

Unsurprised

Opium shits are only for people who eat anything other than more opium.

Gumbygirl

Let’s fucking go! I am running on fumes
(and indica)

blaxabbath

Kyle Shanahan gonna be listening to some Sublime while watching the game on mute tonight.

Spur

comment image

ArmedandHammered

She looks like she sniffs her own farts.

ArmedandHammered

Smoked the last of my real, may have to resort to Delta 8, which is at least legal (for now). I have some on hand to explain if someone complain.

Gatoraids

-Laremy Tunsil