We’re almost at the halfway point of the season and the byes are kicking in… What’s that? There are no teams on bye this week? How is that? Ah, these scheduling intricacies are beyond my comprehension.
To The Games!
Jets/Pats:
Guh. We’re not off to a great start here. These teams are a combined 3-11 and going nowhere fast. Does anyone outside Woody Johnson think that Adams is the key to a turnaround? Mayo called his team soft which was an interesting gambit, we’ll see how they respond.
Eagles/Bengals:
Cincy is favored in this one which was a surprise to me and a wonderful acknowledgement of the fine work that Sirianni is doing. It looks like wr Higgins is up to his quiet quitting ways again. Silly me, I got him at a discount and I figured he would play like a monster for his next contract. Oh well. The Philly D excels vs the likes of Watson and Dimes but was torched by Mayfield.
Packers/Jags:
Here’s a blowout on the way. Love is only the 4th QB under the age of 25 to record 9 straight games with two or more passing scores. The only wr to have a faster start to his career than Brian Thomas Jr. is the one and only Randy Moss. Josh Jacobs scored a receiving TD last week-it was the very first of his career. That defies belief.
Titans/Lions:
Another blowout? Are we taking the over? Goff is playing out of his mind right now but only recently did LaPorta come along for the ride. But he’s a tight end and if you’re in the fantasy biz they’re all crap.
Falcons/Bucs:
This was a barnburner the last time out with the game going to OT. Does Tampa lean on their Cerberus-ian backfield now that Godwin and Evans are both on the shelf or does Mayfield chuck it to the likes of Otton, Palmer and rookie MacMillan?
Cards/Fins:
Lotsa gnashing of teeth and clutching of pearls in the media regarding Tua and his returning to the field. Miami seemed lost without him (because backup qb play was just that bad) even though he wasn’t playing that well, having thrown more INT’s than scores. Tyreek was the most excited for the return and promptly missed practice on Friday. Arizona hasn’t won two straight games since 2021-talk about a rudderless franchise.
Ravens/Browns:
King Henry is tracking at 2,120 yards rushing at this point but will that 30 year-old body hold up? Jameis might just liven up the Cleveland O given his propensity to air things out and of course, turn the ball over.
Colts/Texans:
Richardson threw the ball to the ceiling of the workout facility during the pre-draft workouts and nobody caught that pass either. He’s on a pace to match the lowest completion percentage of 46.5% in 2011 that was done by no other than professional speaker and failed tight end Tim Tebow.
There you go.
It’s great to see Will Levis ONLY in commercials.
Nick Sirianni, a big fan of wasting time because he thinks he looks SMRT.
So best coasters, do you seem like an alcoholic when you roll into an empty bar at 10 to watch football and get travel wasted?
Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy
It did start to rain
We did that a bunch when we lived in western Washington. It was helpful on Monday mornings when football was over Sunday night by 8 or 8:30. A good night’s sleep keeps the hangovers from being too bad.
Never!
Harris turning the screws and making fan-specific ads?
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:ifdrlmbmpk3whcpjxsgbqyqn/post/3l7izqpyj5a2v?ref_src=embed&ref_url=https%253A%252F%252Fboingboing.net%252F2024%252F10%252F27%252Fharris-campaign-speaking-to-football-fans.html
Whoever did the editing on that absolutely killed it. Great work.
“I’m Kamala Harris and I hit JD Drew with a Duracell”
Well he is a horse’s ass…
Oh baby when Spero Dedes is in the house, you know tickets for that game is going to be cheap.
Ten’s RT situation is an ongoing Chernobyl earthquake salad.
Haven’t seen a Drake go down like that since the Kendrick rap battle
Maye may have been Tua’d.
This stream I call it Dr. Cheeks because it’s a little behind.
The one here in the bedroom is waaaaay behind the one in the living room. I guess it’s proximity to the router? But I’m not getting Gumby out there, the other day I had to get the firemen here again because I couldn’t get him out of his recliner.
I do so wish I was close enough to help, I know just how frustrating doing the simplest of things becomes when helping someone move.
Money Mac is suffering from Hyperdeflation.
Dan Campbell once heard of a crackhead on Gratiot Avenue could stay up for 36 hours straight without sleeping in Detroit Free Press article.
That crackhead is now an “Optimization Conultant” for the Lions.
Rudolph INT. Fick normalcy.
TEN 14 – 21 DET. With most of the 2nd QRT to go. And because I overvalue the chances of the improbable, the NFL is the best.
Pittsaster!
Or not! Pittsdown Folie a Duex!
I’m in the old, “playing him in one league, playing against him in another” bind. Feeling like a Japanese woman at the turn of the century.
Yeah. Y2K was cataclismic.
Oh bananas!
Last time Patriots and Jets were this irrelevant, Tucker Carlson was doing an anti-woke production of “North by Northwest”
His “give the little girls a spanking” speech the other day was nauseating. If I could wave my magic wand, he’d be one of the first to meet Madame Guillotine.
Both my tight ends have scored (Otton and Pitts) so I’m going to buy a lottery ticket.
Kind of irritated that instead of Jets-Patriots, they are broadcasting Eagles-Bengals. I wanted comedy, not tragedy!
Thanks a lot Richardson. (blown coverage but still)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3o6Pahb_9jQ
2024: You All Get What You Deserve
Legatron’s Spark may have gone out, Jim.
THIS BALTIMORE O LINE, I CALL THESE GUYS THE SOUTHERN BORDER BECAUSE THE BROWNS ARE GOING THROUGH IT AND WREAKING HAVOK
That’s a great line!
Wait…
Eagles haven’t scored in the 1st qtr in any of their games sir far this season??
Wat??
That doesn’t seem Rocking…
Tua is playing out of his mind.
As gross as it is, I do like flipping the compost pile. Something about seeing broken down food scraps is fascinating.
I used to have one of those sideways barrel dealies that you crank, like an organ grinder. I made great compost, too bad I’m a stone cold plant killer. Turns out, they need water too. Who knew?
My wife certainly doesn’t.
I get a kick out of seeing all the worms. It’s too bad I don’t fish!
Bugs with Jobs
The Titans D wasn’t told they should be lying down.
Pre game said they were the top D in the league, granted at least one of those games was a Tualess fins
The Dolphins actually gained yardage on a punt instead of fair catching it. You mean to tell me that’s allowed?
Well I got 11 hours of sleep last night, woke up, and got brunch with Senorita Weaselo and her sister! So everything is weird being rested and having woke up before the crack of noon.
Because after playing an outdoor concert my eye twinge acted up and 20 minutes became pass the fuck out and miss most if not all of Game 2. Which in hindsight (no pun intended) I only missed disappointment.
Did I miss anything that wasn’t crushing disappointment by my #1 sports team?
I only slept about five hours last night – YOU STOLE THREE HOURS FROM ME!
Jags RedZone highlight? A fookin’ punt!
Yeah, but what a punt! DUUUUUUVVVAAAALLLLL!
Bengals: 17 play drive, 10:04 off the clock.
Is that legal? We can do that?!
They can do anything in those white power suits.
I mean Cincinnati’s basically Kentucky (thanks to the airport) so that’s essentially the South.
I don’t know if I mentioned this before but I’d be interested in saying “Go back to your country” to one and only one group of people, and that would be people with the Confederate flag on their cars.
It would likely be the last thing I do before I get shot.
Happy Sunday!
I just watched my ManUtd get embarrassed. I sure hope my Dolphins won’t disappoint
Pittsdown!
man, me two years ago would be tumescent
Mason Rudolph is Rudolphing right off the hop.
creamsicle day!
Zebra Day in Cincinnati.
I like these white tiger uniforms. Very Sigfried and Roy!
Scott Hanson. The Greatest Living American.
Kevin Harlan calling both games in shambles.
Excluding Bill Hader. And DFOers.
Come on Cincy stomp on some Birds today. Do it for America!
And we’re off!
Alright, White Bengal Week! White Power!
(looks around). What?
he’s from Ohio, we’ll allow it
There may not be a London game but I’m still having breakfast tea and biscuits dammit.
There may not be a London game but I’m still having breakfast freezer vodka dammit.
make dat liver earn its keep, yo!
Calm as you like he’s Virgil Van Dijk
Found a funny:
The definition varies by region; when you jerk a guy off into a snowdrift
“Hey, the carrot nose doesn’t go there!”
“It’s not for his nose.”
(porn trumpet ensues)
.
…and that’s why he didn’t get that extension he wanted.
my picks today
Ravens -8.5
Packers -3.5
Donks -10.5
KC/LV – over 41.5
I have to wait
drinkall day to see Dallas get stomped, great.Morning Folks
Ciao.
Some piece of shit was yelling and banging the walls somewhere around me just loud enough to hear but distant enough to not locate all night and so I’m in an even less cheerful mood than usual.
I hope everything bad happens to them and only them.
If you find him. Call us. We ride.
/ into his home at 0530, up the staircase ala D-day from Animal House.
(tosses the keys)
It’s in between Ecto 1 and the Delorean Time Machine. Just return it to the DFO Garage with a full tank of gas and beer this time.
https://www.cincyjungle.com/2024/10/26/24280549/tee-higgins-injury-update-bengals-wr-out-eagles
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQZqJ_-WAO8&pp=ygUvYSBmZXcgZ29vZCBtZW4gYW5kIHRoZSBoaXRzIGp1c3Qga2VlcCBvbiBjb21pbmc%3D
Mornin’. Daylight stupid clock thing makes every NFL game here one hour later. Oh well…
Spite will save the world
We switched last night. Getting them an hour earlier.
I change next week because Ohio is behind the times.
(Yes, other locales change this time also, but it doesn’t fit the joke.)
Just one more week!
Tua apparently refuses to wear a Guardian cap for ‘personal reasons’. I guess a Guardian cap killed his dog or something?
For a minute I thought, “What’s he got against Cleveland? Season’s over for them anyway.”
It’s better to look good than to feel good!
Look purple, feel monkey, play dishwasher
— T. Green
Why’d Tua want a Guardian cap? It won’t take the suck out of his game. Though it’d be consistent with him being a pussy.
-Brian F., Minnesota
think he just trying to speed run the inevitable concussion that will lead the medical staff to grant him the 100mil retirement package
Obviously the CTE has kicked in
Miami Chief Medical Staff
He’s obviously bothered by potential cone head jokes.
I am glad Jacobs finally got a receiving tuddy. It was going to give Hanson a stroke, otherwise.
Mathematical outliers are the best thing (at least top 3) about being alive. Hey, it’s a very short list.
I was less surprised by the Jacobs thing when I remembered he was on the post-Carr Raiders
(checks score from last night)
Well at least the JV Bengals garbage-timed it up to keep it close.