We’re almost at the halfway point of the season and the byes are kicking in… What’s that? There are no teams on bye this week? How is that? Ah, these scheduling intricacies are beyond my comprehension.
To The Games!
Jets/Pats:
Guh. We’re not off to a great start here. These teams are a combined 3-11 and going nowhere fast. Does anyone outside Woody Johnson think that Adams is the key to a turnaround? Mayo called his team soft which was an interesting gambit, we’ll see how they respond.
Eagles/Bengals:
Cincy is favored in this one which was a surprise to me and a wonderful acknowledgement of the fine work that Sirianni is doing. It looks like wr Higgins is up to his quiet quitting ways again. Silly me, I got him at a discount and I figured he would play like a monster for his next contract. Oh well. The Philly D excels vs the likes of Watson and Dimes but was torched by Mayfield.
Packers/Jags:
Here’s a blowout on the way. Love is only the 4th QB under the age of 25 to record 9 straight games with two or more passing scores. The only wr to have a faster start to his career than Brian Thomas Jr. is the one and only Randy Moss. Josh Jacobs scored a receiving TD last week-it was the very first of his career. That defies belief.
Titans/Lions:
Another blowout? Are we taking the over? Goff is playing out of his mind right now but only recently did LaPorta come along for the ride. But he’s a tight end and if you’re in the fantasy biz they’re all crap.
Falcons/Bucs:
This was a barnburner the last time out with the game going to OT. Does Tampa lean on their Cerberus-ian backfield now that Godwin and Evans are both on the shelf or does Mayfield chuck it to the likes of Otton, Palmer and rookie MacMillan?
Cards/Fins:
Lotsa gnashing of teeth and clutching of pearls in the media regarding Tua and his returning to the field. Miami seemed lost without him (because backup qb play was just that bad) even though he wasn’t playing that well, having thrown more INT’s than scores. Tyreek was the most excited for the return and promptly missed practice on Friday. Arizona hasn’t won two straight games since 2021-talk about a rudderless franchise.
Ravens/Browns:
King Henry is tracking at 2,120 yards rushing at this point but will that 30 year-old body hold up? Jameis might just liven up the Cleveland O given his propensity to air things out and of course, turn the ball over.
Colts/Texans:
Richardson threw the ball to the ceiling of the workout facility during the pre-draft workouts and nobody caught that pass either. He’s on a pace to match the lowest completion percentage of 46.5% in 2011 that was done by no other than professional speaker and failed tight end Tim Tebow.
There you go.
Shit fuck God Fucking Damn It!
#ThePauls!
Eat shit Groper Cleveland!
Fucking fuck! Come on, Ravens.
Quite a Halloween witching hour. Hanson is about to cum to death.
we do not talk nearly enough about how danica patrick and aaron rodgers dating each other destroyed both of their brains
both shoulda dated wearing the Guardian helmet and Guardian condom
I’d rather neither were alive to think about
Huffing high octane racing fuel is a helluva drug.
Trump rally in NYC having the same effect of the Jets shitting their pants like he did to McDonalds customers earlier this week.
LOL JEST
Sources very close to me have informed me that the next thread is up.
Afternoon threads are off limits until all early games are finished.
What window discipline!
Fake news.
we are busy laughing at the JEST
This won’t be the first time an Arizona team has ecstatically celebrated going into the house of some kid with a serious head injury and escaping with a one point victory.
How could Robert Saleh do this?
C’mon Baker, I’m sure you have a last minute turnover in that oven!
Mayo REALLY fucked up the clock there. Why did he call timeout so early?
Wait, what did I do?
Houston out clotting the clots
.
I cannot believe I am actually pulling for the Patriots today, there is no amount of weed that can remove that stain from my soul.
Just think of it as oppo research.
Saleh stocks rising as they let Brisset put up over 20 on them, who will join the Rodgers family this week
Of course the issue is not the offense of course, so probably defense or special teams.
J-E-S-T! JEST JEST JEST!
Classic meteor game
This CBS broadcast, I call it a quick trip up Interstate 71, because we just got transported from Cincinnati to Cleveland
It’s not an accurate representation of a trip up/down I-71 until we get a segment in Columbus for no apparent reason.
Could stop in to visit the Buckeyes watching film to understand why Nebraska was not stomped by 30 yesterday (and I say this as an OSU fan, who spent his formative sportsfan years in Akron, but then chose Franco Harris over Greg Pruitt back in the day).
Announcer: Tua showing no signs of that concussion.
Tua: Drools a screen pass to the turf.
Clearly Sirianni and his boys just needed to get away from all that negativity among the home fans
Fire Zac Taylor!
A receiver named Downs is the gift that keeps on giving
From my bench, unfortunately. First week I haven’t started him
.
I didn’t know there were any tight ends left in Tampa
I haven’t seen a Kraft score in Florida like that since that massage parlor video.
You know those Sports Center highlight plays that are, like, DOUBLE Sports Center highlight plays?
FAILCONS
Am I correct that Tua celebrated his latest concussion protocol clearance by adding Speed Holes to his helmet?
Yes. They make the concussions go faster.
How long until the trepanning?
Teamwork makes the dream work
#MaximumBungles
I watched Spartacus last night. That was a great movie. This Kubrick guy has a future IMHO
“I watched Spartacus last night!” -Redshirt
“I watched Spartacus last night!” -King Hippo
“I watched Spartacus last night!” -Gumbygirl
“I watched Spartacus last night!” -Lemonjello
“I watched Spartacus last night!.” -Mr. Ayo
“I watched Spartacus last night!” -Rikki
“I watched Spartacus last night!” -Horatio
“I watched Spartacus last night and so did my wife!”
[also watched a movie about gladiators last night] – Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show
Zac Taylor gave the Eagles that field goal.
How much of this season will Tua actually be able to recall in a few years?
Oh, and I hope #thePauls wins now that Groper Cleveland is out.
Next rapist up
purple!
Season? He’ll be lucky to remember to breathe
oh god, im seeing that trump commercial and…
is he really that proud that some republicans wanted him dead
I love how he dumped 2021 – i.e. some of the worst months of the COVID pandemic – right in Biden’s lap, as though somehow it was Biden’s fault things righteously sucked the second he stepped into office.
To be fair, Biden wanted to reopen schools within 100 days and he got it just long enough to realize it was srupid as fuck.
It’s designed to seal the deal with Republicans and Independent voters. For others, it’s having the opposite effect. Way too over the top.
republicans? yes
independents? “hey, what was going on in 2020-2021 to fuck the economy and those interest rates…”
Those Republicans – YES!
It makes sense to maga
That exactly defines Trump: he doesn’t care about expanding the base but only solidifying it.
The funniest part of COVID was all the “prayer warriors” acting like they could resurrect their fellow hydrochloroquine huffers the same way the crowd could psych up Hulk Hogan into berserker mode.
I had to deal with some after they got fired for it
Welp, that’s my Bungals!
I didn’t know the Lions were gods, but there they go, destroying the Titans.
Does that make Campbell or Goff Zeus?
#ThePauls break their 20-point cherry!
Not sure they want Don T’s smoke, but here we are.
https://twitter.com/Acyn/status/1850613597304455412
holy shit PLEASE NOTICE, Florida electorate
That’s why they came here to the greatest country on earth accessible by garbage raft, America.
I’m sure that joke will play great in New York.
Maybe helps a bit in a few House races for Team Demmycrat.
Oh.
Those will be a valuable force against Project 2025 In Action.
Drew Petzing is just a sure thing to make one baffling playcall in an important scenario every game.
Ramsey looking OLD next to a young pup.
lookit Xbox, Jr.! Standing on his hind legs like a little Rory Calhoun!!
I love how they just took the ball out of his speedy little hands in the 2pt conversion. Like, why bother with utilizing your quarterback here?
Bengals Defense reverted to its maitre’d form, escorting the offense to it’s reservation in the end zone.
Standing and yelling at an empty bar is exhilarating
“Sir, this is an Arby’s”
I have to say it was pretty heartening to check in to the r/nfl game thread for Eagles Bengals and see people rip the living shit out of that absurd Trump ad.
It’s the political version of Burns the movie from The Simpsons.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqIGAspuZSM&pp=ygUZYnVybnMgc2hvcnQgZmlsbSBzaW1zcG9ucw%3D%3D
Directed by Miguel Báez.
I think Starbucks is in big trouble if it’s gotta advertise on NFL games.
are they introducing a lager
Luv is ded
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHMJE0rcb8M
How funny, I was literally just thinking about the album Hallowed Ground as a Halloween album.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aACATdZKHxc
–Derek Carr
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1s7N_QHKDw
Son of a bitch. I left Fatthew on the bench for him, and he went off for 26 points.
That Trump commercial is damn good. Too bad the guy doesn’t match the ad.
Didn’t realize you were such a big Michael Bay’s Non-Union Mexican Equivalent fan.
I think it’s safe to say Caitlin Clark has taken control of the Fever, a la LeBron, and she’s not afraid to axe anyone who challenges her to a labia-measuring contest.
https://www.espn.com/wnba/story/_/id/42032368/fever-fire-coach-christie-sides-two-seasons
sides was bad. true basketball terrorist. so many blown double digit leads. this was her first ever head coaching job and it was:
year 1: tank job, worst in the league
year 2: have two first overall picks carry me to .500
(also, this is a new gm getting their own staff)
It’s fun how you shit on my shitting on girls sports.
Lions runner for 95 yards after easily saloming through the defense.
TEN’s special teams coach deservers a firin’, a tarrin’, and a fetherin’
Raiders Nation is calling…..
/coy glance
different conference and timezone who would REALLY know???
Qards didn’t expect 8-chan to go left like that. #Betrayal
That’s the Eddie Jackson defense I recognize.
anthony richardson is the greatest worst qb in the history of the nfl
his eventual benching is going to lead to an ELITE playoff push
He is truly a sight to behold. If he had a codeine addiction, he’d be Jamarcus Russell!
Your Royal Water Pistols let humanity down today, GovernoUr…
Indeed. We were not amused! Our Spanish lieutenant needs to realize that draws are not acceptable in any context!
Goff has 28 pass yards and 2 pass TDs? Wt actual f?
I noted elsewhere that the Titans have 285 yards of O and the Lions are at 133 and up 21.
lots and lots of short fields
Those are Bettis type stats