Your Five Game NFL Slate Afternoon Open Thread

To The Games!

Saints/Chargers:

Olave is back but the presence of Rattler puts a hard ceiling on his ability to produce. LA seems ok at 3-3 but there are cracks showing-they’ve been outscored 55-34 in the second half and have yet to score a TD in the 4th quarter in five straight games. Despite Harbaugh’s efforts, Herbert threw for over 300 yards last week.

Bills/Seahawks:

Josh has yet to throw an INT this year! Amari had 66 and a TD during his debut-it’s just that easy to upgrade your wr room if you want to. Wasn’t that what everyone was saying at the start of the year? I mean, Curtis Samuel, really? With rook Coleman being freed of the #1 cb expect more 125 yard games like last week. Metcalf has a sprained MCL so I doubt the staff will trot him out there this week.

Panthers/Broncos:

I do these things every week yet I was surprised to see that Denver is above .500. And they’ve beaten the Raiders, Saints and Bucs by an average of 19 points! Things are looking even better what with Carolina and confidence-less Bryce Young being served up on a platter.

Chiefs/Raiders:

K.C. will win this one of course but when does Patty course correct his tendency to throw pics? He’s got 8 so far to go with his piddly 6 TD’s. Thank god the refs are in the team’s back pocket. Kelce has yet to score-is he waiting for the stretch run?

Bears/Commies:

It’s been forever since a Chi/Wash. game was compelling or relevant but here we are. Both teams are doing great against the spread as well-the visitors today are 4-1-1 and the homers are 5-2. Caleb seems to be in the process of turning things around-in his most recent three wins he’s had 7 TD’s and only the 1 INT.

Watch and comment to your heart’s delight.

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litre_cola

This will surprise you. BeerguyRob brought us to a brewery

litre_cola

2nd stop. Brewery

Unsurprised

This Jayden kid may be pretty good.

Doktor Zymm

The rest of the team is motivated too, glad they got that win

Unsurprised

I just wish it wasn’t so close.

Unsurprised

HEHEHE

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Col. Duke LaCross

Goddammit

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Doktor Zymm

Ok HOLY SHIT THAT COMMIES TD WAS AMAZEBALLS

Doktor Zymm

He’s just like, ‘oh hey look the ball lol thanks’

yeah right

That was fucking glorious!

fleshwound_NPG

man, the upcoming near-career ending injury on fed ex field in the playoffs for the washington qb is gonna be way worse than the last one for dc

Charge of the Light Brigade

Ladies an Gentlemens. No one remembers me, but I have returned.

Mr. Ayo

Correct. And welcome back!

Doktor Zymm

Don’t be silly, the Charge of the Light Brigade was the original military blunder, all of Europe remembers you!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Pickett’s Charge? Hell yeah I remember you, your Tom Brady “jeremiad” comment remains one of my favorite internet memories alongside WWTDD’s bit about how “if Kirsten Dunst and I were trapped in a car that got stuck in a snowbank and had to huddle together to survive the night, they would find me in the morning with icicles on my nose and a sneer on my face.”

Horatio Cornblower

I’m in here long enough to make one comment and it’s this:

About damn time, and welcome back.

Unsurprised

If Fozz didn’t blow up earlier, seeing D.C. will do it

LemonJello

comment image

Unsurprised

Delicious

Doktor Zymm

Oh goddamnit, I clearly should have made more of an effort to watch the last bit of bears/commies

Doktor Zymm

Oh well, it’ll get shown at the end of the TD montage

Unsurprised

They’ll show it during the Sunday night football pregame show

Mr. Ayo

Can’t imagine the look on Snyder’s face right now.

Doktor Zymm

I don’t really want to think about him at all, but I do hope the team being cromulent ruins his life

King Hippo

I have no idea why I fired up the YouTubeTV on the tablet, but I did…

Brick Meathook

“This town is going crazy!!!”

Raljon Maryland, population 2

Doktor Zymm

Not that important, but true!

Unsurprised

YES YES YES

FUCKING YES

fleshwound_NPG

matt eberflus, everyone!

Mr. Ayo

BEARISTOCRATS!!!!

LemonJello

Did someone in DC order Bananacakes?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Holy fucking Bearistocrats

King Hippo

I demand that the Bearistocrats issue a letter of apology for stealing this win.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

You shut your jinxing whore mouth

King Hippo

if I knew I had this power, I would have saved it FOAR a week from Tuesday

Doktor Zymm

Don’t take ‘fickle mistresses’ for $800, trust me on that

Unsurprised

LOL

King Hippo

OR NOT HOLY FUCKING SHIT

Unsurprised

MOTHERFUCKER!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Nice Kmetch

fleshwound_NPG

i love how the bears usually succeed by almost fucking up royally

fleshwound_NPG

nope, nothing almost about that

Doktor Zymm

Hanson about to take the best piss of the week

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Let’s try not to give the ball to an offensive lineman this time.

Mr. Ayo

Sure, but fade out of bounds doesn’t seem like the answer either?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Please see my inquiry regarding Mr. Vigoda

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hooray, bailout flag!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Who is calling the plays for the Bears, Abe Vigoda?

fleshwound_NPG

caleb williams on the bears is like having prince with the sex pistols

Unsurprised

I’m not pleased with how close this game is with the Bears

Col. Duke LaCross

We’re gonna keep Washington out of the end zone, not have our rookie qb throw a pick, and still lose.

Mr. Ayo

Not so fast!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The most Bears thing would be a safety and still lose 12-9

Doktor Zymm

Aw man, the Chefs almost did a reverse raider

Mr. Ayo

Bearistrocrats!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Maybe DON’T give it to an offensive lineman on the chance to take the lead here.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Fucking Eberflus

fleshwound_NPG

fire matt eberflus immediately for that

Doktor Zymm

Thiccdown??

Doktor Zymm

Aw, okay yeah knees, but also damn

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Wat

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sorry but Bill Murray has no business playing pro football at his age

Mr. Ayo

Hate to see it. Couldn’t happen to a nicer quartered back.

https://twitter.com/RichCimini/status/1850659296587227165

Unsurprised

Fuck the Jets. Fuck their QB. Fuck their owner. Fuck New York.

fleshwound_NPG

if not for the superb owl win, he would have the funniest career ever

King Hippo

Jayden looks like his dick might hurt, too.

Doktor Zymm

Oopsies!
A Raider Story

Mr. Ayo

That’s Rikki’s Raiders!

Doktor Zymm

Wait, did that Bear just smack a totally different Commie directly in front of the ref?

fleshwound_NPG

worse, defensive back tried to fight a big offensive lineman

Mr. Ayo

Buddy’s had a few drinks today, give him some leeway.

Mr. Ayo

Still haven’t seen TayTay.

Concerning.

fleshwound_NPG

swift just scored for chicago!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Why do I have a feeling this Bears-Commies game is going to end like 15-3?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Well that didn’t age well

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Or should I say SWIFT change?!

/shows self out

fleshwound_NPG

having TWO weeks to prepare for a game, only to be shutout by what was one of the worst defenses, would be a fireable offense in most cases

fortunately for matt eberflus the chicago bears play in the mid-ass nfc

fleshwound_NPG

saved by a swiftie!

Mr. Ayo

WTF. It would take me like 20 guesses to name who this is.

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fleshwound_NPG

add a beard and thats the lovie smith statue that will be in both houston and chicago for killing a tank job and giving both cities franchise qbs somehow

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Without the 3 on the jersey I would have assumed make a wish project

Mr. Ayo

lol

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clint greasewood

Lawrence Fishburn played for the Heat?

Unsurprised

Is that Teal’c from SG-1?

Col. Duke LaCross

His wines are actually pretty good.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Andy Reid School of Clock Management?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Unsurprised

Roseanne’s hit percentage is still astronomical

Unsurprised

Tony Hinchcliff sucks so fucking much

Cecil Rhodes

Deanne Favre School of **** Management?