Hey y’all, welcome back! It’s already week nine and things are just rolling along fine. The Steelers and Niners are on bye so there’s a fair number of games to get to.
To The Games!
Cowboys/Falcons:
Zeke isn’t with the team because of some unspecified disciplinary thingy. Now who the hell is going to provide the 3.1 ypc firepower that he brings to the team? It feels like Dallas is on the verge of imploding but they have far too much talent to do that. And then you remember Jerry’s positive karma-less aura is even more powerful than Tomlin’s juju.
Saints/Panthers:
I almost overlooked this game-skipped right over it, I did. There’s all of three wins combined among them and a second year QB fighting for his job. Ugh.
Fins/Bills:
It’s only week 9 but Buffalo already has a four game lead in the division. Miami is not helping themselves by blowing 10 point leads in each of the last two games. Mostert must finally be feeling his (advanced) rb age-his ypc average has dipped to 3.5 and it’s never been below 4.8.
Raiders/Bengals:
Tight end Bower leads everyone in yards and catches and if he sees this through he’ll be the first rookie to do it since Shockey in 2002. Higgins won’t be playing and apparently won’t be traded either. This is the sort of dumb soap opera that the folks in Cincy deserve.
Chargers/Browns:
Will we get more good Jameis before the inevitable INT’s start piling up? LA players describe DC Jesse Minter’s new concepts as much ‘simpler’ and you can’t make fun of that given that they only give up an average of 13 points per game.
Pats/Titans:
Maye has passed through the various stages of the concussion protocol just in time to play today. Funny, that. His progress as a player is about the only thing interesting about this tilt unless you’re Don T and want to check out UDFA Julius Chestnutt.
Commies/Giants:
ESPN has floated the notion that some players that think they’re going to be traded have sent out feelers towards Washington. That would be tampering wouldn’t it? Them Commies have but three sacks on the year but not for long-they should double that total today.
Broncos/Ravens:
A rookie QB and a PFF-ranked #3 D has Denver over .500 for the first time since…? I don’t know when. Still, it’s a big ask to beat Baltimore at home and good franchises like the latter don’t lose two straight that often.
Have at it!
Falcon Punch Fumble
On the bright side, I didn’t start the Donks defensing unit in Vodka*.
*the everything else tho, sheesh
TD Yoshi!
Maxx Crosby accidentally tried to kill Joe Burrow.
That was one ugly play for that Dallas TD.
Dowdle successfully dowdled that ball in
DAK DAK DAK DAK!
The Dallas play calling is ass. Just boring predicable crap.
Finally, Mike McCarthy has put his stamp on things!
/but you’re right. The offense has been a mess this season.
How many IPA’s and flannel shirts deep is our PNW crew?
throw a fish for us, too!!
Yes
IPA is garbage. Rainier all the way.
You know, I cannot help but notice in the Trump commercial, that the darker skinned person was serving the beer, and all the families were mono-racial families.
Not everyone who votes for Trump is a racist, but every racist is voting for Trump.*
*Probably not true. A few of them are likely writing in Stephen Miller, thinking Trump is a little too tolerant of other races.
I just remembered that somebody last season coined “Border Patrol” as nickname for Chase Brown. Whose little gem was that? And why did we forget until now??
My guess is Blax or Spam.
I was thinking Spam.
This is correct.
Me. I did that.*
*I did not do that, but much like every political commercial I see these days I’m going to take credit for anything good that happened in the past, while blaming all of you for everything that’s gone wrong in the past, up to and including The Black Death.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HC-FFCbd3_k&pp=ygUoc2ltcHNvbnMgaXQgd2FzIGhpbSBsZXQncyBnZXQgaGltIGZlbGxhcw%3D%3D
I audibly yelped at that Olave hit. JESUS.
I see Amari Cooper has been upgraded from “questionable” to “omnipotent” for today’s game, which is great for my fantasy football prosp…What? ‘O’ doesn’t mean ‘omnipotent’? Well what does it mean?
O MAN HE GONNA ROCK LEAVE HIM IN
his teammates done elected him the team’s “OG”
The youts would say it means Ohio. Skibidi!
Downgraded to Ohio. Poor bastard.
“Radioactive tangerine” for PANTS is certainly a fashion risk!
Tyrone Tracy looks like a real find.
if only somebody had TOLD US early on smh
I have him in both leagues-I wasn’t going to share.
(you forgot, you DID tell us, that was Hippo’s little joke)
Ah, I do not recall that.
in FARENESS, u do drink a lot
Tis a gift and a curse.
I had to cut him to make room for a tight end. I’m sure that won’t come back to haunt me [ Narrator: It will come back to haunt her]
I’m kicking myself for dropping that useless bum Chase Brown in week 3
I had forgotten how hard it is to watch a busy REdZone window to the left, concurrently with a singleton on the right. RedZone gets the sound on.
The Dallas TEs are better runners then the Dallas RBs.
Me right now:
Try to convince Ayo it was all just a Mean Girlz prank!
I’m out here collecting DFOers at my table like I’m capturing Pokemon.
You aren’t going to make us fight or send us for medical experiments in exchange for candy I hope
Don’t worry Zymm, I’m pretty sure you can kick Ayo’s ass.
Only one way to find out!
THAT’S MY FETISH!!
Oh imma get them drunk enough to fight after the game!
It’s good to have goals.
obvs EVERYONE started Nick Vannett
I turned on the TV at 5-til. There was pregame show so I turned on Tacoma FD, in honor of the DFOers in the area today.
I don’t think I have the Raiders game this morning so I think I may let you all handle the first window viewing.
Rhetorical question here: Was that a 3 and out for the Giants?
The Rats are fleeing. They held up long enough for on final grift and now its a rush to get their story straight how they never liked Trump. I wish I wasn’t so morally decent, I could have made a small fun fortune conning these mouth breathers.
https://www.thedailybeast.com/trump-plummets-in-election-betting-odds-after-shock-poll-shows-him-losing-iowa-to-harris/
Whatever the results of this election, these idiots do not understand the difference between ‘polling likely voters’ and ‘how the house sets odds so that they win no matter what’ and that’s why they deserve to lose all their money.
Quiet! The betting houses are counting on his idiots to double down on their bets.
All Hail Octobox
Scott Hanson, Red Zone Host, and just behind Dolly Parton, the greatest living American!
At least we know that Zac Taylor’s job is save regardless of today’s game. Because Joe Burrow will kill him on the field if they lose to the Raiders.
I mean, there’s embarrassing and then there’s Losing to the Raiders embarrassing
Heroic RedZone Muzak RUMBLES ON
only channel free of the the political commercials, still Hanson would probably be great for Election Night coverage.
put him in the same room with Steve Kornacki, and it’s NERD NIRVANA!!!!
The amount of stimulants required to keep them going would bankrupt most countries!
the cartel WELCOMES our challenge!
I know every other train has priority over Amtrak, but I guess that’s life in the sticks for ya.
todays special DFO community theatre rendition of Plains, Trains and Automobiles
Those. Aren’t. PILLOWS!!!
(shrieks) (grunts) (deep voice) Bears going all the way this year!
Yea, the cargo trains take priority on those lines, they own them or something like that. I was talking with someone a few months back after a delay and learned that little bit of trivia.
I was stuck once for 3 hours just north of Vancouver, where the rails are running between the north/south lanes of I-5. Just kept watching 2 mile long cargo trains run by us. We just kept drinking beer, because fuck it.
Acela was awesome for the DFOCon-Baltimore. We went through Delaware exactly the way you’re supposed to: one stop and otherwise 150 mph.
To long sleeve or not long sleeve, that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The stinging cold rain of Seahawks games,
Or to cover thy arms against the cold wet
And by covering warm them. Too dry – too warm,
No more; and by warm to say we end
The RAM IT chants and the thousand year old Stafford
That is the QB, ’tis a celebration
Devoutly to be wish’d. Too dry, too warm;
Too warm, perchance to drink – ay, there’s my beer…
/chugs Rainier
I drank a liquid asston of Rainier back in my western WA days.
When I was young and stupid and lived here in Seattle and thought I’d be here for the rest of my life, I made it a life goal to make enough money to live in the old Rainier brewery overlooking I-5.
Sadly that dream died.
Too long for the banner, yet still banner-worthy.
I did something like this during the infamous ‘yellow-button malfunction’ debacle back in the KSK days. What a glorious descent into madness that thread was.
Omg I remember that madness.
Some jerks are walking around and won’t let the plane depart from the gate we’re supposed to be heading into so we’re stuck on the tarmac. Boo them!
I’m stuck on the tracks myself with some asshole’s alarm going off and no way to stop it.
Ugggggh I’ve been stuck on the train a few times. At least you can still go buy and drink beer while you’re stuck.
The alarm finally shut itself off. The asshole is sleeping and I don’t fuck with people with head and face tattoos.
I also forgot my water bottle of vodka and I’m not psyched about buying beer at 9:30.
Boo to that asshole as well!
Lol, I hope that’s you we are texting. If not, I blame Ayo.
Tough, but fair.
It is, I just can’t see them because Google has managed to screw up messaging and I just get ‘not available’ from everything now.
Ah, changed the APN and fixed it for now!
Tee Higgins is out. Adjust fantasy rosters, expectations and alcohol intake accordingly.
I picked up Gesicki because Goedert is still hurt, and I’m starting Burrow. I’m all in on the Bengals this week, hope they don’t Bungle!
https://www.nytimes.com/athletic/5893037/2024/11/02/jason-kelce-taylor-swift-fan-taunt-phone?source=user-shared-article
Good for you Jason Kelce, and well done on not decking that asshole and getting yourself arrested
Fellas, is it gay to have sex with women?
Depends on the definition of “pegging”?
…but I guess it’s just yet another example of how seriously deluded these people are.
“Hey Jason, your bro is fucking one of the most scarily HAWT women on the planet, so he’s obviously a total ‘mo”
It’s been said in the Twitter threads about this incident and it’s really true: we as a society have become far too comfortable saying really obnoxious shit without getting our asses kicked for it.
My Picks
Lions -2.5
Chargers -1.5
Rammit – 1.5
Commies -3.5
DFO PNW Mini Meetup bout to begin!
Still on the plane waiting for a gate, but will be there soon!
Topics of Conversation:
1-the declining salmon population
2-Logging:is it a net good or bad for the economy
3-Those totem poles:is anyone bold enough to call them ugly?
I was also thinking of broaching the great debate: Seaplane or Flying Boat?
CARBOAT! BUT WHAT IF THEY DID EXIST!?!?
Debating whether I want to put Game 5 of the World Series on as background while I do chores.
put on the Red Zone Anthem while going to clean up the quad box action in the cat litter
My dog stole some cheesecake off the coffee table from the housesitter last night. Fingers crossed I won’t be needing some of that cat litter to deal with the aftermath.
Ted Danson is such a fucking good, charismatic actor. The Good Place is fascinating TV.
Why didnt the NFL schedule a London game for this Sunday? The entire USA is up an hour early
That would require intelligence and foresight
Morning Folks
Just took a spider out of the basement big enough that I used the cat’s dinner bowl to keep it in place while I got a glass for it.
I put it in a pile of leaves with plenty of exposed sun, since spiders generally don’t do well in cold weather and it needs as much warmth as possible. But I can guarantee that it has a higher life expectancy outside burying itself in composting leaves than it does inside anywhere within range of Mrs. Horatio and her arachnophobia.
Did you check for eggs? Did you check for eggs laid in your ears?
You can’t be too sure.
Oh God Shutupshutupshutup!I’m gonna go shove some gasoline soaked qtips in my ears now.
Over here this year they had some fatalities from Violin Spiders. A friend of Wifey had a bite that turned her hand black.
I looked it up, and according to the always-correct-and-never-wrong internet it was likely a harmless grass spider.
I am now going to look up Violin Spiders, then likely set fire to the backyard. Just in case.
I’ve just learned it’s another name for the Brown Recluse, which we do have here in CT. I’ve seen them in our shed a few times. I give them a wide berth outdoors; that’s their territory. If they’re in my house it’s stomping time. I am not a fan of killing spiders, but I am less a fan of necrotizing flesh, especially if it’s either my own after a spider bite, or just Steve Bannon appearing on my television screen.
Thanks makes sense. Always known brown recluse were bad news.
Gumby got bit by one of those years ago. I have never driven so fast as I did to the hospital that day.
Around here we call those Señor Weaselo Spiders.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pbErD346wYY
To the pub!
FUCK, do I EVAR hate the Lesser Footy this weekend.
Napoli got thier asses kicked. Still in first place but our girls not happy.
Some unhappy shoulders…
Weird how I was up before 10:00 am this morning.
Then I realized it was Daylight Fucking Savings Time again, that it would be dark before 4:30 and, well, time to start drinking.
On the choo-choo to Seattle for DFOCON PNW
Hawaii is a serious economic engine. It’s time for everyone to Be Aloha and watch Rescue Hi-Surf.
https://kauainownews.com/2024/11/02/hawaii-hires-on-rescue-hi-surf-made-31m-in-wages-workforce-training-provided-to-local-interns/
I have been curious about how many storylines they can do about someone drowning. I mean shows like Rescue 911 and Station 19 make sense because people call those guys for all kinds of emergencies, but there are only so many “rough surf” stories you can do.
OK, but the surf is really rough, Rikki.
The spin off is about the late night detective work – Rescue: HI-Surf Nights
…oh, dear God, SNL has gone Full Smug with that Kamala cameo. You don’t go Full Smug.
NBC/Comcast is in for Trump 1000%.
Ah, so this is just SNL Biting the Hand Humor? Comment withdrawn, snark on.
I’m just saying, there’s a reason Jack Donaguey would generally restrict Liz Lemon from going all-in on her own decision-making…
30 Rock’s Jack Donaguey.
Park and Recreation’s Rick Swanson.
West Wing’s Arnie Vick.
Say what you want about Hollywood being liberal, they do know how to write the “ideal Republican” we’d all give our left nut/ovary to be real.
please no Maya Rudolph at the piano on Saturday. Had to look it up and yes she can play keyboard of course with her mom.
lets slow jam it into Sunday instead
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVniMFJYY1o
Nobody Could Have Ever Seen This Coming
1-nil Villans!
/yes, they are Midlands Cunts, but I love Unai Emery and also Everton-alumnus Amadou Onana
Read my text, you can’t support leavers.
the Brits agree with Litre. But to me, it depends. Do I like the person and/or style of play? Was it more Everton failing them (instead of vice versa)? Did they live like a good professional/treat the club with respect?
As such, I am happy to support Wobes and Onana. No problem with John Stones, behind me thinking he seems like a moron.
Ross Barkley and Anthony Gordon can go fuck themselves.
All Fulham leavers can stub their toe every day.
Nix has the worst “poor throws” metric of any QB in the League. YES, worse even than Richardson. It’s a schedule-driven/heroic defensing-fueled mirage. The regression monster is coming, and right soon.
Or he’s just getting better? He threw more than any other rookie at the start of the season, of course he’ll be shaky. Very well might be you’re right, but not certain for sure
The problem with Higgins’ hold-in is that the only part of the threat that anyone can get….. is Tee.
Higgins is hurt, so any trade value is gone.
Chase did the hold-in, which made no sense, unless he was working out on the side.
But, yes, we deserve this.
I thought Tee wanted an extension and was not active (body- he just says it hurts) until an extension.
Mike Brown needs to pull the plug on this version of the Strips.
Reports are Higgins hurt his hamstring before last week’s game. That would suggest he’s making a “business decision” by not playing, but he already had injury issues in 2023, so being hurt in 2024 could make it unlikely to get the contract he wants. Plus, with the Bengals defense being terrible, and Chase getting doubled every play, it would be smart to rack up the stats to maximize your next contract once you hit free agency.
It seems legit.
Vote. Unless you disagree with me. Then sit home and complain without voting.
Christopher Titus: “I don’t care which side you’re for, just vote. That’s what makes a government work, and for those who don’t vote or who vote for ‘Harmabe’, when that Mushroom Cloud hits Tempe, that’s on you!”
2024 Cincinnati Bengals Almost-Mid-Season Review:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUwuXW5Ph8w&pp=ygUXZmFtaWx5IGd1eSBib3ggb2YgZmFydHM%3D