Requiem For a Dimes-Your MNF Open Thread

That thing that everybody saw happening has now happened. The American landscape is such that bald-faced lies are not only acceptable but almost expected so of course it was called ‘a football decision’. So now he goes home at night and stoically sits on his moneypile and ruminates about what’s ahead-he’ll be a backup somewhere, maybe a spot starter in a year or two once the Giants stink washes off. His career record was 24-44-1 as a Giant and he was by no means responsible for all those losses but his inability to finish out games allowed him to contribute his fair share. He started off ok-he threw 34% of all his TD passes in his first year.

And now the fans have what they want-change. It comes in the form of Tommy Cutlets, who won three games last year and pushed his team out of QB contention in this year’s draft. Can he do it again? He probably will because if anything, he’s going to energize the team in the short term. So stay tuned for that unflexable Thanksgiving tilt with Cutlets and Rush as the stars. You know what you did.

Fallout:

-Incel-Adjacent Behavior?: The Bears lost in the most Bears fashion but are not letting it be. They’ll be sending tape of their losing blocked field goal to the head office and that sure as hell is going to show someone! [I hear the sounds of thousands of tiny fists shaking]

-The Jags Pederson-holding on dearly to what some people would call a “job”-has said that the team’s problems ‘start with me’. No comment. He also said that ‘everything’s on the table’, except his balls-they’re in a vice.

-I said it elsewhere but that Indy win over the Jets was unexpected and also sweeter than Shirley Temple singing “Good Ship Lollipop”.

To The Game!

Texans/Cowboys:

-It’s Cooper Rush O’Clock! Last we saw this fella was back in ’22 when as a fill-in he guided the team to a 4-1 record. Things are a touch different these days. The team is following it’s owner into a very obvious and loud-mouthed decline and the fact that the term “Curtains” is being thrown into the mix makes me smile for days.

-After the anticipated quick takeoff Houston has leveled of, losing 3 of their last 4 to sit at 6-4. They’re still sitting somewhat pretty in their division.

-Not that it matters but Dallas is 5 games back and fading.

-Stroud during weeks 7-10 has the worst passer rating of any QB with 100+ passes. Everybody watches film, ya gotta adjust to the adjustments.

-He has some relief in the form of Nico finally being back from a hammy. His completion percentage rises 12 points when Collins is on the field.

-He’ll need some more help from Danielle Hunter who leads every defender with 62 pressures. The next closest guy is 10 pressures behind.

Enjoy.

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Gatoraids

Jim Gaffigan making Belichick look like Jolly Saint Nick

WCS

Two calls in, and people are already too amped for this time of night on Monday in the middle of November.

Take a breath or seven, everyone.

Doktor Zymm

I’m not currently responsible for ANY emergencies in your area, so I’m doing my part!

ThePirateSloth

A few days into my tolerance break and my life has becoming Episode XII: Return of the Migraines

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Doktor Zymm

Doink! So nice to see you!

BeefReeferLives

🎵 Hello Doinkness my old friend… 🎵

LemonJello

The festival of SHAN’KHLOR continues!

Mr. Ayo

PALO!

Horatio Cornblower

Another thing, besides fumbles and sacks, that would make a Dallas QB not trust his protection would be watching game film.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hey are we sharing Bluesky posts? Because this one is right up DFO’s alley:

https://bsky.app/profile/jentaub.bsky.social/post/3lbbcsoesjc2o

Redshirt

I may join Bluesky and I have never joined Twitter.

BeefReeferLives

I was never on Xitter nee Twitter, either. Gotta say I like Bluesky. Buncha freaks.

litre_cola

Bluesky is a breath of fresh air.

ballsofsteelandfury

Are we talking Diddy-level, Epstein-level, or what?

What kind of sex parties are we talking?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Stupid timid fucks at the DOJ who were like “yeah, but what if he’s acquitted?”

SAME EXACT FUCKING THING THAT’S HAPPENING TODAY, YOU STUPID SHIT-FOR-BRAINS HAND-WRINGING COWARDS.

Horatio Cornblower

Merrick Garland is a complete waste of oxygen. The GOP could have let him on the Court and I doubt that milquetoast little fucker would have made a goddamn bit of difference.

Unsurprised

That was why he was nominated

WCS

Chuck Schumer continues to run the Senate.

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Horatio Cornblower

Fuck him even more.

Horatio Cornblower

Cooper Rush yelling “Yeeeeeaaaaahhhhhhh, here we go!!!” just seems so wrong.

Don T

Evening. Just finished some work that kept me awake for days. Got briefly into a pack a day. Man, cigs are the fucking BEST.
Quit last Saturday. Again 😅

Gatoraids
Don T

Uf. Duro.
This keeps my resolve:
1. Don’t buy cigs
2. Mooching cigs is 😖
3. Gotta push the first stroke to 2027

litre_cola

Did Fozz leave? Devito is startin for the Gints!

Fronkenshteen

Just watched the Netflix doc about Connor Stalions and the Michigan sign-stealing scandal after not having paid attention to it for a single second in real time. My takeaways:
1) The NCAA is a massive, steaming, shitpile.

2) Barstool’s Dave Portnoy is the human equivalent dog shit on a stick being waved aggressively in the face of American sports.

3) Harbaugh is the new Pete Carroll

ballsofsteelandfury

How were you able to watch it with all the lag?

Fronkenshteen

Am currently being crushed by influenza. For all I know, the lags were there.

Gumbygirl

Those school kids are germ factories. By the time your immune system is able to ward the cooties off, it will be summer vacation.My advice is to teach summer school.

litre_cola

Portnoy could be one of the worst humans in America.

Gumbygirl

He would certainly be on my train to Bergen-Belsen. It’s pretty full, but I would squeeze him in.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah but his time at the top is coming to an end. There’s no way he stays in the top 50 for the next four years.

Horatio Cornblower

He did one of his pizza things in Danielson, CT, which is easily within driving distance of me. I was pissed I missed him. With my car. Repeatedly.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS MNF GAME I CALL IT THE TYSON-PAUL FIGHT BECAUSE IT’S TAKING PLACE AT AT&T STADIUM BUT I CAN’T WATCH IT BECAUSE MY FUCKING STREAM KEEPS CUTTING OUT.

Last edited 1 hour ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Production team having Eli’s back with running the clip almost instantly.

Doktor Zymm

Free sheet metal at the Jerrahdome tonight!

Horatio Cornblower
Redshirt

America put Trump back in power. They must suffer.

Spur

How about the Donks. I was wrong about Bo Nix and Sean Peyton. Keep it up Donks

Col. Duke LaCross

And Cincinnati didn’t think that dude had any gas left in the tank?

Spur

People tend to perk up after not having to live in Ohio

Redshirt

In our defense, he wasn’t this good.

(grumbles; kicks rock down road) Stupid functional o-line. Stupid dysfunctional franchise. Stupid dysfunctional life.

Unsurprised

I just realized that Peyton facing the camera looks like a Picasso

Don T

Plump period fo sho

Unsurprised

That is pretty fucking accurate of brotherly love.

ArmedandHammered

That or complete indifference.

Horatio Cornblower

Yes, the Venn diagram between people watching MNF and people interested in a Lion King prequel must truly be huge.

Fronkenshteen

What a move off the line by Turpin. What’s that called, a drag?

Horatio Cornblower

Don’t say that in Texas!

Unsurprised

Drag in Texas involves a truck and chains

ArmedandHammered

Or weird looking cars that are loud and fast.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Hey let’s go halfsies on the 10k bounty.

Spur

Finally a Dallas TD. Throw a party Double J.

Horatio Cornblower

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Horatio Cornblower

Goddamn Turpin is quick.

ballsofsteelandfury

He was shot out of a cannon!

Horatio Cornblower

The good news for me is that Blax is not getting a whole lot of points from Dak Prescott in our FF tilt.

litre_cola

See you guys in Ligue 2 soon!

LemonJello

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ArmedandHammered

WTF!

Gumbygirl

Beatie is getting me unneeded points. Sorry A&H! But Yahoo still thinks you have a 1% chance. Silly Yahoo.

ballsofsteelandfury

He’s giving Hippo hope in his matchup against me which, as we all know, is the worst thing you can give teh Hippo.

Horatio Cornblower

Well, that and more opiates.

Doktor Zymm

I thought that was the BEST thing?

Gumbygirl

I was thinking cheese.

ArmedandHammered

A bowl of Chem de la Chem and me no care. Actually, Congrats!

Gumbygirl

I needed to catch up to los otros with points, I had some very low scoring games.

Horatio Cornblower

That might be the fastest VAR reversal ever. That wasn’t even close to a TD.

Now, the next play I’m quite sure will be a TD.

ballsofsteelandfury

And there it is

Horatio Cornblower

So it is written, so it shall be.

Unsurprised

Maybe they should switch each other’s defenses for offenses. That way we’ll avoid what is bound to be an embarrassing INTERKKAKE

Redshirt

I’m still at work, is Jerry World leaking shit like Redacted Stadium or did the scoreboard finally fall on somebody?

Horatio Cornblower

Looks like a chunk of one of the upper walls fell off. Apparently narrowly missed a bunch of people, Jerry Jones unfortunately not among them.

Unsurprised

The average new homeowner age is 53, up from 46 a few years ago. They’re corny because they are middle-aged.

WCS

Good to know the next two or three generations get to keep picking up the pieces from 1914 still.

Horatio Cornblower

I bought a house at 28. And I’m still in it.

My kids? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. No chance.

https://ih1.redbubble.net/image.1527288559.1519/pp,504×498-pad,600×600,f8f8f8.webp

clint greasewood

Just 3 more Cowboys primetime games left.

LemonJello

Is that counting the Thanksgiving game?

clint greasewood

yes

clint greasewood

Pooper Rush vs Tommy the Tank Engine

https://imgur.com/rxrzQGL

WCS

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Last edited 1 hour ago by WCS
WCS

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Spur

Dallas Defense did a good.

LemonJello

and their O did a bad.

BeefReeferLives

Looks like Jerrah micro-managed his construction managers as effectively as he micro-manages his football team managers…

Horatio Cornblower

I actually don’t mind that fake punt, even if it failed. Season’s over, what the hell; throw everything at the wall and see what sticks.

If enough of it sticks, maybe it will block the Sun from shining through the stadium.

Redshirt

Who knows? You might accidentally find the next Danny While.

Gumbygirl

Ha, Jerrah’s Shithole is falling apart. Good.

Game Time Decision

He’s the next Dan Snyder

Spur

Here and Now Dan Snyder

Unsurprised

He was here before Snyder, and after. In the grim, dark present, there is only Jerrah.

Horatio Cornblower

There’s a comforting thought: 10,000 years of Jerry Fucking Jones connected to god knows what kind of life support systems and just constantly fucking over the team and the fans.

Game Time Decision

So Al Davis?

Unsurprised

I’m perfectly content to see thousands of Cowboys and/or Raiders fans sacrificed daily to power the God-Emperor

Doktor Zymm

JJ is Daedalus to Danny’s Icarus. Danny flew too close to the Sun of Corruption and plummeted out of the League while JJ flies just close enough

litre_cola

A donnybrook has broken out!

ballsofsteelandfury

Jerry World falling apart? Yeah, that checks out

LemonJello

So, when does Dallas take the field for tonight’s game?

Unsurprised

Next Christmas.

Game Time Decision

We all know that Dallas can’t play football after that
/choke in the playoffs

Unsurprised

Touché

litre_cola

Dear Jesus I need Nico Collins to get hit by a truck.

Unsurprised

Man, owing people means a ton. I was depressed as a motherfucker this morning but my teammate was coming in on her day off to work on a project and so I oozed my ass to the desk and it shook away completely until I had time to myself to be miserable. So …

jjfozz

How long and wide was the ooze trail?

Unsurprised

Fatass-sized

Spur

Evening Folks.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yo.

LemonJello

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Unsurprised

Hiiiiiiiiii

jjfozz

Tits. Is there no problem they can’t solve?

Game Time Decision

Restraining orders

Unsurprised

I can’t believe I’m anticipating listening to Peyton Goddamn Fucking Manning.

Then again, I’d rather listen to the death rattle of my only child than to Troy and Joe.

BeefReeferLives

I would pay good money for an uncensored audio stream of Rex and Rob Ryan watching the game while killing a bottle of Jim Beam and talking shit about everyone.

Unsurprised

Oh, fuck yeah.

jjfozz

If that stupid fucking caricature of Italian Americans -Sean Stellato – is anywhere in the spotlight, I’m going hunting. Also, who fucking names an Italian kid “Sean”? That’s a fucking Irish name.

Unsurprised

I think his family may be a bit stupid.

jjfozz

New York and New Jersey Italians are the Uncle Toms of our culture. Fuck them.

SonOfSpam

It’sa making me so mad, I’ma spill my pasta FAZOOL all over my wifebeater-a

jjfozz

WHY DID YOU SPILL YOUR FUCKING FOOD? YOU KNOW YOUR MOTHER HAS BEEN COOKING ALL GODDAMN DAY? YOU SEE HER CRYING? YOU’RE BREAKING HER FUCKING HEART!

BeefReeferLives

Yup. We all know that when we’re naming our son, we’ve got two options…

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[I hear the sounds of thousands of tiny fists shaking]

“What he say fuck me for?” – Lowratio

Last edited 3 hours ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly