Wumbo Wednesday With Weaselo: Senor’s Classical Corner: Requiem Rankings

Welcome to another/the first official I guess segment of Senor’s Classical Corner, a segment inside of Wumbo Wednesday where I try to put some cultcha in this joint! And since I played the Mozart Requiem this past weekend, here’s as good a time as any to talk about requiems and make some likely infernally hot takes!

Wait, what’s a Requiem?

The Requiem Mass is the Catholic Mass for the Dead that honors the souls of the departed. Over time, the Requiem became a big deal for composers, possibly even more than the standard Mass. My guess? The Requiem Sequence, best known as the Dies irae. Of course, it’s not the only thing in the sequence, which also includes all the other stuff. Lacrimosa? Sequence. Confutatis? Sequence. Tuba mirum? Still the sequence. (It’s a long-ass Catholic poem… 19 stanzas.)

Apart from that there’s also your standard parts of the Mass, which I guess are whatever on the religious end of things, but theatrical dynamite. And then some hack has already talked about the last part of the requiem, the In paradisum. Can’t even be bothered to fully orchestrate that movement, almost 4 years later. What a CLOWNFRAUD.

At this point the requiem still exists, but most requiems written by composers are far too large (personnel-wise and duration-wise) to be part of the Mass, ending up as their own concert works, similar to an oratorio. The average performed requiem is in the 75 minute range, with Verdi being closer to 90.

What’s an oratorio?

Like Handel’s Messiah. You know, the one with the Hallelujah? Not the Leonard Cohen one, the other one.

Okay, how are we ranking these?

If I’ve played them, or I’ve heard them, or I know them reasonably well, they’re on the list. So, without further ado to piss Classical musicians of all natures off, here is an extremely incomplete list of ranking Requiems.

Also the following requiems are not ranked because I don’t know them well enough:
-Ligeti
-Dvorak

1. Verdi Requiem
The fieriest, brimstoniest of the bunch, as that Dies irae is definitely the day of wrath. I have played this while being absolutely furious with someone close to me at the time, and yeah, once that movement hit, I was in the fucking zone. And honestly, 90 minutes of music, I might have missed, like, 5 notes.

I’m also a fan of the Libera me, which we used for a class project. But also it’s also a really good fugue, and then at the end of it my rage finally broke, and I looked at my best friend (the oft-mentioned cellist) and I spent a solid couple minutes crying on her shoulder as I was wobbly getting off the stage. So there’s points for sentimental reasons too. So yeah, Verdi wins, Verdi’s my favorite requiem.

2. Britten-War Requiem
You can feel the pain in this one, written in 1962 for the consecration of the new Coventry Cathedral after the original was destroyed in a bombing run. Interspersed with poems from Wilfred Owen, outlining a tritone throughout, there’s no real comfort throughout it until the very end.

3. Brahms-Ein deutsches Requiem (German Requiem)
Fun fact! The only one of these with no Latin, as the name literally translates to “A German Requiem.” Brahms wrote the libretto himself, using passages from the Luther Bible and purposefully omitting standard Christian dogma. It’s finely distilled Brahms, and Brahms has always been one of my favorite composers, so finally getting a chance to hear it, and to finally understand the references a conductor told me come back in the second movement of his Symphony No. 2, because I hadn’t actually heard it through. Once I did I immediately heard the symphony references (since I’ve played that twice, once as concertmaster).

4. Mozart Requiem
If we’re ranking single movements it’s a tossup between the Dies irae in the Verdi Requiem and the Lacrimosa in this one. And I adore the beginning (and will be inspired for my own Introit).

So, hot take alert, why do you have it FOURTH, Senor? And the reason is that there are movements that Mozart didn’t really get to at all. His student, Franz Xaver Süssmayr, finished the Requiem, because as we all learned in Amadeus, Mozart died before he could complete it. The Sanctus, Benedictus, Agnus Dei, and Communio weren’t in the fragments that we have of Mozart’s manuscripts, so those are likely all Süssmayr. And maybe it’s the repetitions between the Sanctus and Benedictus, or the Communio (officially in the same movement as the Agnus Dei) taking from the Introit, but it loses a bit of steam as a result. Still, well done by the pupil, but one of the great what-ifs in all of Classical music is “What would have happened had Mozart had another five years?” He was 35 when he died.

I’ll tell you it definitely would have bumped to top 2, no doubt.

5. Fauré Requiem
Gabriel Fauré’s requiem doesn’t have the fire of Verdi or Mozart. There isn’t even a labelled Dies irae movement, and that’s normally what the people come to see! But what it does have is sheer beauty in the Introit, Libera me, and In paradisum (which is where I got a great deal of my inspiration, and I’ve also taken a bit for my own Libera me, eventually). Or violins! (The original chamber version had no violins, that is correct.) As a result however, this requiem clocks in at about 35 minutes and ends up often getting played with another one of my favorite choral pieces, the Cantique de Jean Racine.

6. Berlioz Requiem (Grand Messe des Morts)
Out of the 6 mentioned, this is the only one I haven’t heard live or performed, so it’s just recordings. The big problem is that it’s a little… too big. There are stories about how at the premiere it nearly fell apart in the Tuba mirum due to the way the brass is staged at every corner, and it was only due to Berlioz rushing to the podium because the actual conductor was taking a pinch of snuff that they got through it. (Source) I’d love to hear it live as the brass swells up in that truly surround sound. And that’s the general vibe, more majesty of the brass than damnation. If that sounds like your vibe, then certainly go for it.

7. Duruflé Requiem
I don’t want to call it a poor man’s Fauré, but it’s got a similar vibe, being even more ethereal than Fauré’s Requiem 60 years prior while still paying homage. Duruflé had more work in the style of chant and was apparently working originally on Gregorian-style chants based on the requiem when he was commissioned to write this. I like French Romanticism for some reason—I can’t put my finger on why—but maybe at this point it gets a little too watercolor for my taste.

Okay, outside of music time, what’s on tonight?
Wednesday Night MACtion!
A Battle of Ohio (if not THE Battle of Ohio): Ohio vs. Toledo (7:00, ESPN2)

Iceball
Vichy Whalers vs. Moving to Camden with the Sixers? (CAR vs. PHI, 7:30, TNT)
Fightin’ Gaetzes vs. Mr. Ayo as Zeus (NSH vs. SEA, 10:00, TNT)

Woodball
Bulls on Parade vs. “Doc Rivers is North Korea incarnate” (CHI vs. MIL, 7:30, ESPN)
Wingy Hut Jr.’s vs. The Curse of the Based God Lil B (NYK vs. PHX, 10:00, ESPN)

JV Woodball
Siena inevitably losing by 30 to Xavier (in progress, FS1)
Getting dunked on by Patrick Chewing (Mt. St. Mary’s vs. Georgetown, 8:30, FS1)
Tweaker Peacock, or Tweacock! San Jose State inevitably losing by 25 to the Troy Boyz (10:00, Peacock)

And I will write up a rubric for an assignment over the holidays while listening to diceball playoffs, as the Nocturnes await their debut sometime next month!

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Senor Weaselo
Senor Weaselo plays the violin. He tucks it right under his chin. When he isn't doing that, he enjoys watching his teams (Yankees, Jets, Knicks, and Rangers), trying to ingest enough capsaicin to make himself breathe fire (it hasn't happened yet), and scheming to acquire the Bryant Park zamboni.
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Brick Meathook

There once was a lady named Dinah
Who put fiddle strings ‘cross her vagina
With the proper sized cocks
What was sex became Bach’s
Toccata and Fugue in D minor

BugEyedBoo

Aubade
By Philip Larkin

I work all day, and get half-drunk at night.  
Waking at four to soundless dark, I stare.  
In time the curtain-edges will grow light.  
Till then I see what’s really always there:  
Unresting death, a whole day nearer now,  
Making all thought impossible but how  
And where and when I shall myself die.  
Arid interrogation: yet the dread
Of dying, and being dead,
Flashes afresh to hold and horrify.

The mind blanks at the glare. Not in remorse  
—The good not done, the love not given, time  
Torn off unused—nor wretchedly because  
An only life can take so long to climb
Clear of its wrong beginnings, and may never;  
But at the total emptiness for ever,
The sure extinction that we travel to
And shall be lost in always. Not to be here,  
Not to be anywhere,
And soon; nothing more terrible, nothing more true.

This is a special way of being afraid
No trick dispels. Religion used to try,
That vast moth-eaten musical brocade
Created to pretend we never die,
And specious stuff that says No rational being
Can fear a thing it will not feel, not seeing
That this is what we fear—no sight, no sound,  
No touch or taste or smell, nothing to think with,  
Nothing to love or link with,
The anaesthetic from which none come round.

And so it stays just on the edge of vision,  
A small unfocused blur, a standing chill  
That slows each impulse down to indecision.  
Most things may never happen: this one will,  
And realisation of it rages out
In furnace-fear when we are caught without  
People or drink. Courage is no good:
It means not scaring others. Being brave  
Lets no one off the grave.
Death is no different whined at than withstood.

Slowly light strengthens, and the room takes shape.  
It stands plain as a wardrobe, what we know,  
Have always known, know that we can’t escape,  
Yet can’t accept. One side will have to go.
Meanwhile telephones crouch, getting ready to ring  
In locked-up offices, and all the uncaring
Intricate rented world begins to rouse.
The sky is white as clay, with no sun.
Work has to be done.
Postmen like doctors go from house to house.

BugEyedBoo

I told my daughter that you were my culture contact, and she pointed me to this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JrmgwCGhnm8

Sharkbait

I need to get my classical playlist into rotation more

Last edited 3 hours ago by Sharkbait
Doktor Zymm

I need to get some better speakers and start listening to music more often again. I’ve almost completely stopped since everything became streaming.

Sharkbait

Ive been getting into vinyl since I got my parents old turntable up and running. I’ve got some killer jazz albums I need to spin up more often

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I listened to two VERY different albums tonight whilst making a cocktail syrup and tidying:

Stevie Wonder and REO Speedwagon

My collection is eclectic.

Doktor Zymm

That’s another thing on my todo list, hook up my turntable in Chicago

2Pack

Then play some Chicago.

Bogdanski

25 or 6 2 4

2Pack

And Make Me Smile… my two favorites.

BugEyedBoo

If you’d have told me 40 years ago that I would have no sound system beyond some little speakers on my TV and PC, I’d have thought you were insane. But here I am.

2Pack

I realized that a couple years ago and went into the way back machine. Reestablished the stereo in my gym.

Gatoraids

Was one of good things of pandemic getting back into music and new music watching some modern producers on twitch.

Something New
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-WTfP3WJc4

Something Old
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwcKwGS7OSQ

SonOfSpam

Always feel so much smarter and more cultured after reading a Weaselo post.

/belches, scratches ass (my own)

Dies Irae is indeed beastly. Verdi was pretty great for a gondola pilot.

2Pack

Wonderful post Sir. I listened to a lot of classical music as a kid because my Dad was really into it. Years later I found out that one of the reasons Dad didn’t graduate high school (he got his GED in the Army) was he used to play hookie a lot. One of the best places to hide from truancy officers was in a listening booth at the public library. Back then all they offered was classical records.

2Pack

My favorite classic right here.

https://youtu.be/jp48fMchnuc?si=ZwkKj-YMPpuM7EMw

ThurberHerder

Elegy for Jane
(My student, thrown by a horse)

I remember the neckcurls, limp and damp as tendrils;
And her quick look, a sidelong pickerel smile;
And how, once startled into talk, the light syllables leaped for her,
And she balanced in the delight of her thought,

A wren, happy, tail into the wind,
Her song trembling the twigs and small branches.
The shade sang with her;
The leaves, their whispers turned to kissing,
And the mould sang in the bleached valleys under the rose.

Oh, when she was sad, she cast herself down into such a pure depth,
Even a father could not find her:
Scraping her cheek against straw,
Stirring the clearest water.

My sparrow, you are not here,
Waiting like a fern, making a spiney shadow.
The sides of wet stones cannot console me,
Nor the moss, wound with the last light.

If only I could nudge you from this sleep,
My maimed darling, my skittery pigeon.
Over this damp grave I speak the words of my love:
I, with no rights in this matter,
Neither father nor lover.

ThurberHerder

For some reason I remember this from high school. It’s an odd thing, grieving someone when you feel you don’t have the right to.

Alright now I’m done

ThurberHerder

Requiem for the Croppies by Seamus Heaney
The pockets of our greatcoats full of barley…
No kitchens on the run, no striking camp…
We moved quick and sudden in our own country.
The priest lay behind ditches with the tramp.
A people hardly marching… on the hike…
We found new tactics happening each day:
We’d cut through reins and rider with the pike
And stampede cattle into infantry,
Then retreat through hedges where cavalry must be thrown.
Until… on Vinegar Hill… the final conclave.
Terraced thousands died, shaking scythes at cannon.
The hillside blushed, soaked in our broken wave.
They buried us without shroud or coffin
And in August… the barley grew up out of our grave.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I am going to put pants on and read this again.

ballsofsteelandfury

Take them off and read this

Come closer and see
See into the trees
Find the girl
While you can
Come closer and see
See into the dark
Just follow your eyes
Just follow your eyes

I hear her voice
Calling my name
The sound is deep
In the dark
I hear her voice
And start to run
Into the trees
Into the trees

Into the trees

Suddenly I stop
But I know it’s too late
I’m lost in a forest
All alone
The girl was never there
It’s always the same
I’m running towards nothing
Again and again and again and again

Brick Meathook

There once was a lad in Japan
Who saved all his farts in a can
This can he did store
On the floor by the door
So one day he could smell them again

Redshirt

.

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ThurberHerder

Yeats’ headstone-

Cast a cold Eye
On Life, on Death.
Horseman, pass by!

Sharkbait

Mrs. Sharkbait approves of Verdi being at the top of the list. She sang Verdi at La Catedral in Sevilla when she studied abroad there. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7K93LeP9OA

That’s her
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blaxabbath

I’m more into pork chili verdi.
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS GUY BLAXABBATH I CALL HIM FICTIONAL BRITISH PRIME MINISTER MICHAEL CALLOW CAUSE HE IS INTO PIGS.

WCS

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Sharkbait

David Cameron, who famously was very into a pig was right there

2Pack

That’s so cool.

LemonJello

Plot twist: his car was there because of a dead battery! Joe was nowhere near the facility, for his own health and sanity.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

BREAKING: BURROW LACKS ENERGY, ABILITY TO START LISTED AS QUESTIONABLE

Redshirt

Burrow: “You sure we shouldn’t refute this? I don’t want to hurt my value for my next contract.”

Agent: “You won’t make it to your next contract at this rate! Just get out of Cincinnati, and then we’ll go from there.”

Mr. Ayo

Not even a citywide blackout can stop it!

RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!

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Last edited 5 hours ago by Mr. Ayo
Unsurprised

I’m fine with the worst people in the world segregating themselves to X and Bluesky so I can avoid all of them.

ballsofsteelandfury

My personal question: Which one is the best one to get a lap dance to?

Sharkbait

Adagio for Strings obviously

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izQsgE0L450

fleshwound_NPG

so nancy mace has actually introduced federal bathroom ban…she is begging at this point for somebody to pull a charles haley on her desk

https://www.reddit.com/r/cowboys/comments/3jneb6/steve_young_talks_charles_haley_defecating_on_an/

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You know that saying “do the crime, do the time”? Does that work in reverse, like if you’re going to be punished for something you’re currently innocent of, you might as well just go ahead and balance the scales by committing the crime?

Last edited 6 hours ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Dunstan

I believe the expression is “might as well be hanged for a sheep as a lamb,” though that really raises some questions about what the fuck the English are doing with ovines. I mean, it’s not as bad as what the Scots and Welsh do with them, but still….

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I misheard it as “might as well bang a sheep or a lamb” which is why I am unfortunately regarded as persona non grata in Glasgow. Not sure if it’s for all of Scotland and if it’s for life or not; they were pretty heavy handed with the whole “here’s your hat, what’s your hurry” routine at customs.