Your Thursday Night NFL Football Open Thread

What have we got here? Ah, it’s the old ‘mirror game’ (8-2 vs 2-8) and it’s a divisional tilt so anything can happen. [snorts] C’mon, we know how this ends. At one point the Steelers were 3-2 and then a certain package of crushed monkey testicles from the Honduras ‘magically’ appeared and was ‘accidentally’ burned over a fire made of the doors of an abandoned insane asylum. Next thing you know the Steelers reel off five straight wins.

Minutaie:

-Piling On The Jets: Sauce Gardner threw his new coach under the bus, saying that tackling wasn’t an issue. Who badly missed a tackle last week? The same guy that hasn’t recorded an interception in 35 games. As a Jets starter, Rodgers winning percentage is lower than both Zach’s and Sam’s. Woody Johnson acknowledged that he considered benching Rodgers-if you can count on anything, it’s MAGA types throwing their kin under the bus.

-Useless Gabe Davis is done for the season after getting some meniscus surgery done. This does not affect the Jags outlook in any way whatsoever.

-NFL Security has sent out a ‘Burglary Alert” after the homes of Mahomes and Kelce were broken into. In related news, Nick Bosa’s velvet painting of Jesus kissing Trump’s feet is now under lock and key.

-The Seahawks facility is still without power due to yet another weather phenomenon being described in war terms. (Bomb Cyclone?) Not asked for comment by anyone, Pete Carroll opined, “This totally has the fingerprints of the ghost of Kenneth Lay all over it!”.

To The Game!

Steelers/Browns:

-Jameis Winston’s O/U for interceptions is .5. Put a mortgage on your house RIGHT NOW and get in on the over.

-Can Haz Blizzard?: Weather is calling for rain and gusty, busty winds (please feel free to post pics of busty weather patterns below) for this tilt. The O/U for the game is around 37. DRAIN YOUR SAVINGS ACCOUNT AND PUT IT ALL ON THE UNDER!

-Related To Above: The Steelers kicker Boswell was responsible for all of their points last week. It’s the second time this year that he’s accomplished that. It won’t be the last. Why? Because the Steelers are goddamn boring, that’s why.

-Winston has never played against the Steelers. I’ve the notion he’s going to be feeling crabby after the game and not in the usual way.

-I Laughed: Stefanski, who is feeling a bunch of pressure from the usual social media crowd, claims he’s not bothered. He cites the fact that he grew up listening to Philly sports radio as a reason that he’s inured against the relentless squawking.

Have at it.

 

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Beerguyrob

Pickens is never getting that call, because he’s him.

Downfield Matriculator

If he spent as much time going for the catch as whining about the noncalls he might be as good as he thinks he is

Wakezilla

You know what would be nice? Cleveland forcing a turnover, and then shanking a last second field goal

fleshwound_NPG

how about yinzers shanking a punt and browns give up a last second turnover

Wakezilla

I can work with that

fleshwound_NPG

junk ai creations actually have been around since 1999

it created the neo-cleveland browns

WCS

Something called “Texans,” too.

WCS

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Doktor Zymm

Turns out that EVEN IN THE SNOW the decision by the Browns to exclusively stock their QB room with sexual predators isn’t paying off

Gatoraids

Least they’ll have a home in our new Cabinet

fleshwound_NPG

so. many. narratives.

WCS

Jameis is too big and too dumb to realize his tibia just fractured in three places.

WCS

Those toxic fumes wafting from the lake are finally getting to the Hashtag Pauls, too.

Gumbygirl

I got sick of the bullshit and made myself dinner. Two touchdowns later…. I’m happy with my decision!

Col. Duke LaCross

Pauls gon paul.

Downfield Matriculator

So the one ballsy playcall all day and Russ and Pickens not on the same page. Plenty of time for 2 field goals and the win, I guess

Downfield Matriculator

Well that comment aged poorly and immediately. 2 ballsy calls

litre_cola

Browns gunna Browns

fleshwound_NPG

al was JUST complementing cleveland fans…for being stupid in believing in this dumb team

Wakezilla

The Browns are gonna Browns because that what Browns do

Gatoraids

Cleveland giving the fans a show alright… Tada The Aristocrats on ice

ArmedandHammered

Steelers are choking the Chubb.

Doktor Zymm

It’s not that cold, you can tell from the large flake size

jjfozz

Al Michaels impressed by peopel showing up for a football game

Gatoraids

i mean its no casino

Doktor Zymm

It’s a testament to the resilience of the human spirit that people can look almost kinda content while spending significant amounts of time in Cleveland

Redshirt

It helps when you abandon all hope.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

NEVER!

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jjfozz

That woman is a supermodel, by Cleveland standards

Beerguyrob

A Baltimore 3.75 is a Cleveland 11.4?

fleshwound_NPG

as afc north football as a 18-13 score sounds, it is still way too many points

Redshirt

Browns gonna Brown

WCS

Wait, are they allowed to do that?

Gatoraids

mic catching the loudest banging at a stadium not involving the Bills tailgate.experience

WCS

BLEERGH

fleshwound_NPG

odd curse/illness in the afc north minus cleveland

you make it to a super bowl and/or win one as a coach, you become a fraud eternally

fleshwound_NPG

as good as tomlin and harbaugh are, they SHOULD make it back to win a 2nd title, but…

jjfozz

Harbs won’t he is the epitome of ego

Downfield Matriculator

Steelers honoring Penn State today by basically looking the other way as a credibly accused molester scores

Unsurprised

“We’re all JoePa today!”

ArmedandHammered

Explains the rhythmic slapping sound.

Downfield Matriculator

I just thought that was the InstaCart guy with Al’s bourbon delivery

Gatoraids

Usually when Winston scores with legs it also involves crabs.

fleshwound_NPG

back in the day after you scored you smoked a winston and caught crabs

Brick Meathook

Cleveland scores? PLAY KISS

litre_cola

Balls was right. Trap game.

ballsofsteelandfury

Unfortunately, yes. No way they score 2 TDs now.

Doktor Zymm

All I ask is ONE Najee garbage time TD

litre_cola

No Najeeee 4 U!

Beerguyrob

CRAB LEGS FOR EVERYONE!

Wakezilla

Just got in from work. Cleveland has Watson and Jameis as their QBs? That’s a whole lot of sexual assault on that roster

Unsurprised

What the fuck is going on?

LemonJello

A very Cleveland end to this drive.

jjfozz

The answer: Wicked.

The question: What is a movie that Fozz wouldn’t go see even if you had kidnapped all three of his sons and were going to drop them into a volcano?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

What if I told you they accidentally linked to wicked video (the porn site) on the doll boxes for it?

jjfozz

Heard about that, it made me smile.

2Pack

If people were able to snag one before they were pulled off the market, they have one very special collectors item.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You think *that* made you smile, you should look up the actual porn parody of Wizard of Oz. It’s delightful!

ArmedandHammered

The Whizz or Following the yellow stream?

Doktor Zymm

I wasn’t a huge fan of the book, never saw the musical, won’t see the movie. Also, if it’s my volcano just give me a call and I can net ’em before they hit the lava

Unsurprised

Isn’t that how you get Red Hulks?

Brick Meathook

Man I love a snow game!

LemonJello

Easy there, Mr. Irsay.

Doktor Zymm

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DCpHzDOSS2B/?igsh=MTBlZjE4YzMxOA==

Dude is my friend and Rikki’s friend and fucking funny

Unsurprised

You have good taste in friends.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Prime isn’t loading on my tv, so fuck this game. Bojack time.

Gatoraids

watching on twitch’s primevideo channel on my computer

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Waaaaaaay too much effort

Gatoraids

nice booking an exhibition game on Hoth

LemonJello

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litre_cola

I chuckled way too hard at this Sir Jello.

WCS

I like how whenever Mike Tomlin and Co. get within 50 yards of Lake Erie, their collective IQs reach current outdoor temperatures.

fleshwound_NPG

happens to everybody, gotta be the fumes

jjfozz

Or the body odor

Beerguyrob

So, the Steelers froze their kicker just to go for it on fourth-and-one?

Well, it worked I guess.

Doktor Zymm

Snow is so pretty before Cleveland happens to it

fleshwound_NPG

pretty sure its flammable now

jjfozz

I figure with all the toxins in the air, it would turn into some type of toxic hellbroth

ArmedandHammered

Never eat the first snowfall was what I heard growing up.

LemonJello

Sounds like the Factory of Sadness needs some Preventive Maintenance

Beerguyrob

This is also a banner quote.

Doktor Zymm

Can that camera guy who keeps catching that tinny noise please move?

Brick Meathook

It’s above the broadcast booth. Al Michaels mentioned it earlier.

Beerguyrob

Maybe Al can hit him with his cane.

Unsurprised

No tenemos la problema.

litre_cola

Bob Kraft not in the hall. Lol.

LemonJello

What are “Things the masseuses at Orchids of Asia would say about the Kraft Single?”

I’ll take Potent Potables for $600.

King Hippo

I wish I could go back in time and convince Tawny Kitaen to copyright “Car Fox”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This is too subtle for it, but…..banner

Redshirt

The Bengals fan base was jokingly asking if 9-8 could win the division. Based on tonight’s performance, that may be the number.

Beerguyrob

Was Jameis playing dodgeball there? Because it seemed like he was trying to throw at Hayward.

Doktor Zymm

I fixed my sound system today, the right speaker channel has been relatively muted for ages. I moved my amp to a location between the two speakers, shortened the speaker wires, and made sure everything was secure. I tried different output channels, and switched from the ‘A’ to the ‘B’ speaker outputs. None of that worked and the right speaker was still very quiet. Then I turned the volume up a little bit and that somehow magically brought the right speaker up to parity with the left speaker. No idea, but not complaining.

jjfozz

Hmm, could it be the magnets from the speakers fucking with the receiver, which in turn fucks with the speakers?

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Doktor Zymm

People still don’t know
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ArmedandHammered

I do want to know about the size of said magnet.

Unsurprised

Coin-sized

Teslas just suck that much.

litre_cola

WHOOP WHOOP

Doktor Zymm

maybe, but they’re bookshelf speakers with a bigass amp and it’s independent of distance from the speakers, so seems unlikely

ArmedandHammered

Could the balance be slightly off?

Doktor Zymm

Nope, moved the balance back and forth, and when it was full right it was clearly way quieter than when full left or even center

ArmedandHammered

How many inputs on the speaker? If 4, there needs to be a metal bridge piece there, and if there make sure they are conducting between the posts. I actually sent a nice amp back because I thought there was an issue channels.

Doktor Zymm

Just 2 on the speakers, and any interchanging of components didn’t change it. Somehow just turning the volume up a bit fixed it, even if I turn it back down, honestly flummoxed but don’t care.
It’s vintage so some corrosion something?

Last edited 6 hours ago by Doktor Zymm
ArmedandHammered

Stuck potentimeter, or whatever, glad is fixed.

Beerguyrob

Only one true way to test it – play Steely Dan’s album “Aja” on repeat until you see the colours.