Welcome back once again to this thing we have going on here. It’s the second day of December, is your tree up yet? We’ve got a pretend one that is a beast and assembling/decorating it is a two day affair. Fun! Wifey stopped asking asking me for help a few years ago. I married her because she was so smart! Off we go…
Minutiae:
-Injury Report: Hey McCaffrey, here’s your hat, why are you leaving? I’ve not seen anything but sketchy reports about the injury and plenty of talk about shutting him down for the year. Update: He’s been placed on IR. At 28, his window as an effective, featured back is fast coming to a close. But thank god you picked up Jordan Mason. Umm, I’ve got some bad news there as well.
-Trevor Lawrence is another dude that we’ll likely not see again this year if smart minds prevail. Hey, at least Aziz Anzari apologized for the hit.
-Taysom Hill is also done, just two weeks removed from an awesome outing when he was on everyone’s bench. Prediction: The sports media’s stories about the future 35 year-old’s laborious yet heroic comeback will make you want to throw up. Also! He’ll contribute nothing next year.
-Jets In Disarray-Part The Nth: Oh, how The Immunized have fallen-Interim Deer in the Headlights Ulbrich was forced to say to the media that Rodgers would be the starter next week because his play was so shitty. Piling on some more, the Jets committed 12 penalties including eight in the 4th quarter yesterday.
-For Those That Have Given up the Ghost: The current draft order for 2025 is Jags, Raiders, Giants, Pats and Panthers.
To The Game!
Browns/Broncos:
-Hooked on BoNix: Denver’s rook qb has 6 INT’s total but has just one in his last 5 games. This progress reeks of a coachable kid that does his homework and pays attention in the film room.
Juedy in Disguise: (timely reference, huh?) He’s currently playing the part of a not-bust. He’s averaging nearly 100 yards per game since Winston became a starter. Weird.
-Denver is currently sitting in the very last playoff spot.
-The Browns only wins this season…[squints at screen] Huh. Wow. The Browns only wins this year are vs the Steelers and Ravens.
-Cleveland doesn’t travel well as you may have suspected-they’re 4-14 in Denver.
-“The Whipping Boy is Back!”: Kadarius Toney has been elevated from the practice squad because there were no developmentally- challenged feces floating in the toilet bowl at club headquarters.
Have at it.
Damn — do you guys ski Aspen?
The apple-flavored soda from the 70s?
I assume “ski Aspen” means shoot it hypodermically into your penis and/or vulva.
Is that where you tit fuck a girl who just had someone cum on her boobs?
MNF went ahead and just skipped Jameis’ one-play homerun.
Oh well, no reason to talk about THAT quarterback’s good decisions.
To be fair, he’s not quite as (how to put this wokely) white as the other guy.
Would be nice if they gave Brandon Marshall back the cash they fined him for wearing cleats for a cause now that they’ve made it a PR thing, but nah cuz NFL
Yeah one black fan in Denver throwing Jeudy the double bird in slow mo!
lol, Buck won’t say it while it was fine to show the word ass on screen.
He had his face stuck deep in Troy’s at the time, to be fair.
great game we’re watching
Halftime “adjustments” for both teams
Maybe every team that wears orange can’t play defense?
If Redshirt changed his named to Orangeshirt, he’d never be able to respond to insults.
Big if true.
Woody Johnson would be a Unionist
Jeudy sez there’s no place like home!
Jeudy Revenge Game!
“I’M M.MIMS JR!”
-M Mims Jr, watching this on film
LOL this game is getting silly
I really hope someone has dressed as a Mandolorian handing out Mando products by now.
Bugsy turned to Shifty and he said, “Nix nix
I wanna stick around a while and get my kicks”
Let’s rock
Men Arrested At Texas A&M Game For Fake Construction Credentials With The Names “Harry Azcrac” & “Duncan McCockiner”
https://www.whiskeyriff.com/2024/12/02/texas-am-fans-arrested-fake-credentials/
People became suspicious because they weren’t …
Probably took a week to make the fake credentials due the constant bouts of intense laughter.
Security became suspicious when the two kept giggling uncontrollably and repeating their fake names.
I got an email today that I can get pre-sale tickets for AC/DC at Raiders Stadium.
I should go.
Mugshots of the suspects have been released:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcKquiT4Ohs
The halftime MRSA/BLACKCATS highlight was some midfield Baker Mayfield first down scramble to the sideline.
Having sampled all the pieces, tomorrow’s enchiladas are going to be rocking.
Speaking of which, did RockingDog disappear?
He wanders occasionally, but he finds his way home.
He died on the way back to his home planet.
ESPN: “Sorry bitches. You gotta go watch website ads to see the Jags/Texans highlight.’
Beaty got me beaucoup points, but it wasn’t enough to overcome the juggernaut that we call Yeah Right. He got a zillion from Jaden Daniels, and something called ” Bucky.”
Are you trying to bond with me over a mutual distaste for the content of YR’s character? Cuz maybe.
Tell me now, what do you think of designating a portion of your weekend to straight up recreational walking around smiling? And I’ll remind you that, if it were such a fantastic idea, you’d already be doing it yourself.
I have better things to do! [Narrator: She does not]
Oh damn it! I just needed to like get 30 mins to decompress alone and, what do you know, here’s fucking half an hour of a Kelce brother blasting at me!!!!!
I feel like I’m in the Pensieve experiencing the Fozz origin story.
The Browns are just like us regular, hard working, blue collar job type folks: we all have a little trouble with our Chubb after some rough play.
I like saying “Chubb” in a Cartmanesque voice. It’s strangely satisfying.
I do it like Butthead. Chubb, hehe.
And our only hope is betting on Jameis Winston.
Jameis’s touch?
Indictable
Deshuan Watson’s touch?
uninvited
Nik?
I’m down with it. Still better than Nick. ‘Nick’s are assholes.
Today was one of the best days of my life.
Do tell
That’s great!
I reconnected with a bunch of old Navy buddies from 30 years ago. I thought most of them were dead. Instead, it was like we had just spoken a week ago.
Hell yeah
That’s awesome!
Those are ghosts. They are dead.
But I’m glad you enjoyed the orgy
Jameis gonna be crabby now, but he doesn’t have a leg to stand on
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4RBtw01TZfo
Cool story, bro
MNF needs to show Blucifer for the next commercial bumper. That demonic horse needs to be shown to all of America.
THE APOCALYPSE IS A CHINESE HOAX
I only got a little bit of a joint left so I’m gonna smoke it. I’ve got the boy solo Fri-Mon so I’m already writing this week off as work prep because his schedule makes it impossible for me to do any work around his hours.
Though I still don’t get why chicks want to work.
So about these new Broncos uniforms… why?
It’s an unpaid intern making those animations, right?
No. It’s a paid professional that makes more than you.
Contract professional.
Mike Brown’s looking for ways to cut costs…
It’s our very own Brick!
He’s amazing!
Yeah that was me.
Nothing good happens when a Dix Pick is involved.
Counterpoint:
Is that a ten-pack of dick pics?
Whatever it takes!
Winston takes too many chances but he sure does know how to make a secondary backpedal.
Gunslinger!
#FixNixPix
Superman & Lois ending was very good. Like all Live Action DC Series, too good for this sinful earth and a crappy network.
But did Joe Buck bless the rains when he was climbing Mt Kilimanjaro?
Blue-ish uniforms are fine. It’s the white helmet that makes the ensemble rinky-dink.
Counterpoint:
Yes, I hate the white helmets.
i had to triple check the chargers weren’t playing
I see it.
Does a tie help the Stillers? That would be worth rooting for.
I honestly think a Browns win helps the most, but that’s too much to ask for.
What? Rooting for the Browns or them actually winning?
I like for the Browns and Bengals and even Ravens to do well against other teams. I just think it’s going to be hard for them to beat Denver in Denver.
And yet #ThePauls are currently beating the DONKS in DONKSVILLE.
Alright, not anymore, but the point stands. Or doesn’t, whatever.
Yes.
Yup. Since they are an AFC team, and the Browns are probably out of the playoffs, a Browns win would potentially help the Stillers… but I just can’t. Even with Watson out, I just can’t.
More importantly, which outcome benefits the Leafs playoff chances?
Forgot to congratute WCS on WVU firing their idjit coach
I won’t be pleased when the inevitable Jimbo crash-out and/or RichRod remarriage again fails. But, I won’t be surprised.
They can have Brent Brennan!
Here I was thinking Tarheeb Still was an ironic UNC Jewish magazine
Nice to start with a throwback FG miss.
Brown liquor > Browns, gonna have the first day of my Scotch advent calendar! Will decide if I want to catch up and have the 2nd later
Dailuaine 2015 Adelphi Selection 9yr Cask 300966 first fill oloroso sherry hogshead
Smells good!
First sip also good!
WTF is up with these Donkey unis?
It’s like somebody decided to half-ass their Halloween costume
Not a fan, especially with subtle orange and the Browns doing the orange pants
Appropriate for today’s clash:
https://youtu.be/dPKh4-MdhuQ?si=dU0KcYC2P66by-Y2
The Queen of OnlyFans
Amaranth?
Diora Baird
A woman who actually shows off the goods, too. But I misspoke. She was the queen, but there are others who make WAY more now.
No Manningcast? We are in hell.
Eli has a big coloring project due tomorrow.
Christmas recital practice
He gets to move up to playing Joseph instead of being one of the three wise men this year.
Wearing Archie’s bathrobe instead of something his mom made out of burlap. That’s a big deal! He is excused.
Wait, that’s the shepherds. He was wearing one of Olivia’s fancy robes if he was a wise man.
Deffo in the Tribulations, at least.
think we are down to 2 left next week and a wildcard game
If I can’t have happiness, none of you can! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!…for three to four hours not counting overtime.
Dude, I’ve been seeing Cincinnati media skewer your team all day. Must be very interesting over there.
Does Kyle Shannahan get fired for his players being glass?
I’d argue that he makes them glass. There’s something about his coaching methods that gets players injured over and over again throughout his tenure.
He was OC when RG3 broke
Well, knock me over with a feather!*
*and then subject me to repeated beatings until I can no longer stand
Being olds and latching on to something that makes wifey and I laugh and gives us some sort of relief and. Anyway, I’ve watched this several times over the last few days.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ThLeM1Bu9k&ab_channel=FXNetworks
SO GOOD
#Bolieve
#BONKS WOO!
I’m certain Hippo will have a very fun and entertaining evening watch this fixture.
Watching MST3K – The Black Scorpion, so far pretty damn good. I have not seen this one before, and it is pretty funny.
The Internet is evil.
As I say, again and again. This Is The Darkest Timeline, and we are all irredeemibly, completely fucked.
This is the dumbest timeline, not the darkest.
Things can always get worse.
It’s not that it can’t get worse – it will. The worsening is just in progress. Not going to get fixed or ever improve. Broken forever.
You need to smile more.
when the nukes are incoming, I promise
We’re not lucky enough to die that painlessly
Seriously. Things are not THAT bad.
YET
You’re a funny white man living in The OC. Ain’t shit happening to you.
I’ll be among the last in the camps, true.
“Camping is fun! Can we make s’mores?”
-Eli M.
Indeed. “Never challenge worse” is good advice, even coming from a chemical rapist. (“Worse” segment starts at about 1:40)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y26kf_Ye7dA
We’re in the “Absurd and Bizarre” version of the “May you live in interesting times” curse