We Are All Witnesses: Tuesday Open Thread

I got almost nothing.

-I’m not sure anyone had South Korea in the “elected leader declares martial law against political opponents” pool, but I’m sure they got good odds.

-I enjoyed Thanksgiving, food poisoning be damned. I’m not sure if Thanksgiving is the Most American Holiday- fewer explosions than Fourth of July, but more consumer spending- but it is the Best American Holiday. Nobody thinks “stuffing” for Labor Day.

-Congratulations to our Bears friends for their liberation from the Oppression of Eberflus. I look forward to seeing what guy named Matt the Bears hire next. I hear Matt Gaetz is free, and [Marc Trestman Joke Redacted].

-Still replaying the Most Glorious Bills Snow Game in my head. I normally disdain the brainless announcerism of “Out there playing like a kid,” but that’s what we got Sunday night. Twenty-two giant bears on rollerskates. Watching men who have devoted their lives to being the finest football players on the planet having to basically relearn how to move. Sean McDermott and Josh Allen doing snow angels together on national TV. What more do you want?

-Did anyone realize Trestman is currently on Jim Harbaugh’s staff?

-RIP Run CMC. Three and a half games into his return and now he’s out for the rest of the season. Somewhere, Brock Purdy’s agent is watching in real time as guaranteed money hemorrhages from his next contract.

-Trevor Lawrence is this generation’s Boomer Esiason. I will not be answering any follow-up questions.

-If you need something to keep you warm: Dak Prescott’s cap hit next year is almost $90 million. Moving on from Aaron Rodgers will cost the Jets $49 million in dead cap. Deshaun Watson would cost the Browns $172 million to cut loose.

-C.J. Stroud is this generation’s Trevor Lawrence. I will not be taking questions on this one either.

WHAT TO WATCH:

A Shane Black movie!

We’re all tired of the Die Hard As Christmas Movie horseshit. Especially since it’s not even the best 80s action movie set at Christmas- that would be Lethal Weapon.

But most any Shane Black movie will do to kick off your Christmas filmfest. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Long Kiss Goodnight (criminally underrated). Iron Man 3. The Nice Guys (at the end). It’s his shtick.

 

5 6 votes
Article Rating
The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem
Feared conqueror; scholar; poet; revered holy man; professional raconteur; soldier of fortune; aloof yet thorough lover; bandit; blazing gypsy speedboat. I have been called some of these things.
Subscribe
Notify of
92 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
BrettFavresColonoscopy

For those still interested in the previous post …..those were shrimp with “grilled cheese” on top.

ballsofsteelandfury

Interesting… Not what I thought.

ballsofsteelandfury

Hard Knocks AFC North Episode 1 is out!

Balls Review: very enjoyable. Tomlin is hilarious. Burrow is a stud. Browns D line coach stole the show.

Gumbygirl

My house went live on the MLS today. First showing is tomorrow. On Thursday I’m going to Riverside with my cat to babysit SIL’s pets for a week. Hopefully the real estate agent will have a bunch of showings while I’m over there. It would be easier for me, and certainly the cat, to get this wrapped up quickly.Let us pray there are some newly retired Boomers looking for a reasonably priced house in a nice over 55 community!

Doktor Zymm

Good luck! Fingers crossed for a quick sale!

2Pack

Good luck

Mr. Ayo

Best of luck. Such a quick and major change in your life, hope you have the support structure to get you through this.

Gatoraids

Too bad Eberflus is only 54

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

He’ll wait it out and run out the clock. It’s a talent of his.

Last edited 15 hours ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
SonOfSpam

Leave joints in various rooms, it’ll sell.

2Pack

Never forget. In my alternate universe she could simply spin around a bit, then fly off and take care of that pesky asteroid.

FB_IMG_1732896327291.jpg
SonOfSpam

One of the first TV women that made me straight. Luckily I saw her before Hasselhoff.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS GUY RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY I CALL HIM STEVE MCNAIR BECAUSE HE TRIED TO PLAY THROUGH FIVE DIFFERENT INJURIES TONIGHT.

WCS

Well, if the fifth injury tonight was a bullet in the head, good on you for posting.

THAT’S GOOD HUSTLE

BeefReeferLives
blaxabbath

How do these donation matches work? I give the food bank 500 bucks and then where does the match come from? Is there a donor who is like, “I’ll give whatever someone else gives, up to $2500”? They can’t take it out of their own budget.

What gives?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Sometimes it’s like that, other times it’s just a huge load of bullshit that gets excitable mouth-breathers to part more easily with their money.

Unsurprised

blaxabbath

Huh.

That’s so interesting. What other business works this way?

Doktor Zymm

I currently have 7822 hours of play on Civ6. I’m not gonna calculate how many months that is

Mr. Ayo

Let’s just say if you did that continually since Jan 1st, you’d have just finished.

Doktor Zymm

That’s over 8 years, so less than 3 hours a day on average!

Brick Meathook

Have you ever gone swimming off the deck of a nuclear submarine in the Caribbean?

I did, twice. I just reconnected with an old shipmate this past weekend, and he sent me this photo. I remember it like it was yesterday. I’m already in the water, but I can name every one of these guys.

https://ibb.co/nmQJcjH

Horatio Cornblower

Yes*, and I’m still on several watch lists in the greater Groton area as a result.

*This is absolutely not true, but I have seen them in the Thames River

SonOfSpam

They’re all Esther Williams!

Gumbygirl

Steel beach party. Gumby loved those.

Doktor Zymm

I feel like “exploded cow carcass” is underutilized as a metaphor for really awful things. Smells worse and significantly messier than hot garbage or a dumpster fire

WCS
Game Time Decision

The mean girls Thing about the AFC East was funny

Horatio Cornblower

The Exploding Whale should become this nation’s symbol, in lieu of the eagle. Just a huge fat dead thing exploding all over the place, to no end whatsoever, just because someone had extra TNT lying around.

It’s truly perfect.

WCS
DJ TAJ

The voice of Pavarotti fills the air with magic. Candles flicker in the swirling madness, the ritual truly has begun

x 1.jpg
Doktor Zymm

Oh! I totally forgot I have a ticket to the Bears@Niners game this Sunday!

WCS

You’re forgiven for forgetting that.

ballsofsteelandfury

Bearsenscheisse Live!

Brick Meathook

The United States Space Force: America’s last hope.

DJ TAJ

Dude I owe and want to buy you a beer

Brick Meathook

Any time. You and Beer Guy Rob are on top of my list of DFOers who I haven’t met yet but I want to see. I’ve hung out with Yeah Right so maybe he can vouch for me. I’m back east for a month starting tomorrow but I’m back in L.A. mid January. See ya soon bro.

Game Time Decision

I’m on the “never meet” list?
Lol

SonOfSpam

Gotta get him on the Tuesday post.

Pretend his pix are of hot babes instead of seamen.

Brick Meathook

I’ve never met a single person from this clubhouse who I didn’t like in person. There’s a certain similarity in temperament going on here. At one of the first L.A. meetups (and I had never met anyone from the internet before) and I was halfway through lunch with strangers when it dawned on me “my gosh, I know these people.”

Redshirt

Good. Our prayers have been answered. It’s almost over.

(reads size of asteroid)

Dang it.

Doktor Zymm

Anyone ever use AtlasOS?

BugEyedBoo

Stuff I just read says that using it is a real bad idea. Turning off Windows Defender and Restore Points feels like a mistake to me. I remember some MS-approved updates hosing my machine so bad that I had to roll back with System Restore.

Doktor Zymm

That doesn’t really bother me, it would be a standalone machine that I would have no problem wiping and reinstalling if needed

BeefReeferLives

Ever thought of a linux distribution that emulates Windows? I’ve heard good things about Zorin OS, but am too lazy to partition and install. (also, an OS named after a Bond villain gives me pause)

Doktor Zymm

It’s a possibility, main thing is games compatibility and last time I was irritated enough to start looking into alternative OSs it just wasn’t there yet. Will have to check out Zorin.

ballsofsteelandfury

comment image

Unsurprised

Just dive head first into TempleOS

Gumbygirl

I saw the other day that Mike Ditka’s wife denied that he’s in hospice. Sweet Virginia is probably thinking she might just rehire that whippersnapper!

Doktor Zymm

What does that say about the four NFL teams named after cats?

ballsofsteelandfury

It’s how you watch the games that matters

BeefReeferLives

What’s gay about liking pussy???

comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

Re-post from last post:

Ongoing DFO storylines I am curious about:

Spur’s work Gambit
Blax’ patent drama
Dok’s new job
Yeah Right’s retirement in Portugal
WCS’ job as a 911 operator
Blax’ Hawaiian volcano lair
BeerGuyRob’s Union negotiations
Litre’s trip to see the Cure in Pasadena
Toronto DFO meetup in April
RTD’s acting neighbors
Brick’s new website

Doktor Zymm

New job is going well, I still like it after 3 months so that’s good. Full remote remains awesome, working on interesting stuff, manager and team are great. The CEO is named MANLIO which is a pretty fantastic name for a CEO.

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s great!

blaxabbath

I got the patent in. I guess it takes like a year of waiting now? I don’t have all my hardware built out so, practically, I have a stupid patent filing. Nothing special.

I’ve been mum on Hawaii because, since the Ballot Box Insurrection, it’s been hard to joke non-braggadociously about my little spot. But the facts are first phase stuff seems to be getting done before we arrive (flooring; moved a doorway; new kitchen; interior paint; and then all the new furniture is a thing) and now I’m working on how to make a good Santa Christmas Magic Trick Illusion for the six-year old for Christmas morning. The next stuff for the house will be the bathrooms and some exterior work – nothing nuts. Honestly, the place just has a lot of delayed maintenance that we’ll have plenty of time to get done between January and like June when school gets out. The unknown is permitting for the pool and casita structure. I’m sure it’ll take a little while but I feel like, maybe, having it in by next Christmas should be a pretty reasonable timeline. But I dunno — this will be our first run there and I’m just amped to getting in my 808 reps.

ballsofsteelandfury

Which island?

blaxabbath

I’m not telling nobody.

Gumbygirl

We will find you

blaxabbath

_

1000014306.jpg
Brick Meathook

Still a work in progress:

https://lousylousylounge.com/

Brick Meathook

I dunno. Some of it’s not bad, and some of it’s pretty good. I’m not fishing for compliments but I’m aiming for world class. Negative comments ae appreciated.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m a sucker for rain pictures.

Brick Meathook

Yeah some of those are pretty good. The only trick is being there.

ballsofsteelandfury

Love the Buffalo and Tucson pictures.

DJ TAJ

Sweet holy stuff.

I am stupefied. Why should I even bother with my silly cameras?
The silhouette’s in Gettysburg?

Brick Meathook

Just press the button. It’s easy.

Gatoraids

one day you’re work will be in the Jerrah Dome

Gumbygirl

That rose picture is stunning. You are tremendously talented, Brick! I was grabbing some pictures and memes from Gumby’s phone and I came across these

2db773a4eb8bd816c5f19db5576864e7da4178b204f3a915141a7c158f751434_15.jpg(1).jpg
Last edited 18 hours ago by ballsofsteelandfury
Gumbygirl

.

FB_IMG_1693697095383.jpg
Gumbygirl

Whoops, Gumby’s phone

Brick Meathook

That was my boat. I was there when we surfaced in the hockey rink.

Our navigator got fired right after that.

Gumbygirl

Should have pulled over and asked for directions! The Nav on Gumby’s first boat was named Elmo Flennican Jr. He was a cool guy.

Mr. Ayo

He should of got some credit for the precision there. Right in the middle of the rink is pretty impressive. Unless that’s not what he was going for.

Game Time Decision

Shoulda taken a right turn at Albuquerque

Unsurprised

I am almost done making my enchiladas. I ran out of tortillas testing because I only bought a dozen.

WCS

You can mail me any leftovers you don’t want.

yeah right

The yeah right retires in Portugal is still 100% go.

A few weeks back I turned 63 and did my annual check in with social security and check the investments thing.

They’re doing good but not retire in 2 years good.

I’m counting down and under 4 years now.

If youngest right can’t do Japan this year then there is a strong possibility I’m going to visit Lisbon, two out of my 3 areas of research.

I’ll probably throw in a few days in Spain because why the fuck not.
Got any intel on San Sebastian?

We’re doing fine and in the meantime I’m seeing the world, baby.

Pretty strong chance that I’m going to leave right after the LA Olympics.

Keep on grinding.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’ve been to San Sebastian. You should call it Donostia.

The best food in the planet. Period.

Stay at a hotel on the Seashell Beach. Called that because of the shape, not because it has a lot of seashells in it.

yeah right

That’s why I mentioned it was the food.

That’s also why I’m considering Lisbon is the food.

Thanks!

ballsofsteelandfury

God, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is SUCH a good movie!

comment image

Redshirt

Accurate.

IMG_0579.jpeg
BugEyedBoo

I can’t believe they haven’t fired Ryan Day yet.

Redshirt

If I’m a recruit, I’m decomitting. If I’m a player, I’m running to the transfer portal.

Unsurprised

Look at that face. That man has no soul.

ballsofsteelandfury

“fewer explosions than Fourth of July”

Clearly, you weren’t close to my toilet

WCS

“1 1/2 thumbs up!”

— Jason PP, some parts unknown

ThurberHerder

Since the incident, it is indeed unknown where some of his parts are

Unsurprised

Is a sense, he’s a part of us all now.