Ah, we’re at the “There’s but three games on offer, blow me” stage of the season. Thanks Shield, thanks for nothing.
To The Games!
Seahawks/Cards:
Somehow Seattle is two games over .500 and in the thick of the division race despite some very wonky qb play from Geno. His Td’/INT ratios are neck and neck at 13 and 12. The Cards have lost two in a row but their defense has the least amount of points scored against it in the division which surprises me.
Bills/Rams:
Yes folks, this is what passes for a featured game. Good lovin’! Actually, Buffalo is a good watch because of their QB play but good luck depending on their wr’s and tight ends for solid weekly results. Shakir leads the team in receiving yards yet has all of two TD’s.
Bears/Niners:
Here’s a matchup of two stumbling and bumbling teams that the kids might call “mid” if they paid any attention to football which they do not. Not mine anyway. I figure San Fran will take this on muscle memory alone.
Do your thing.
The Amazon commercial with the janitor singing, and the woman crying, is fucking stupid as shit.
-Don Draper
Bah!
Shut up, Tom
Do the Bills think there’s a 3-pt. PAT option?
The sofa came in 15 different boxes, it took 3 hours to assemble. This is the best goddamn feature. It will increase my alcohol consumption by 110%. and increase my chances of a heart attack or stroke by 65%
This game is crazypants
Well fuxk. Lemonjello, message me. I am.getting relegated
Why does Brady sound like he’s gargling salt water?
He caught mono from open mouth kissing his son.
Update: Derek Carr may have a busted rod in his passenger side wheel.
Josh Allen is deceiving fast.
Big dude, long legs
Hello!
Bailing to get the train. This was super fun, very nice and quite knowledgable fans in my section
Brock Lobster just got boiled.
…correction, he just got inverted RKO’d.
Who found White claws in the back of the fridge? Litre did.
I hear those are really good if you put a little vodka in there
I am a binge drinker, not Usain Bolt
If you were I would have suggested some Chicken Nuggies
They taste best when they’re dumped into the toilet.
I think my Freezer Vodka team has every TD in this game
Yes you have
I might have won even without a QB, bodes well for playoffs
I am going down but appreciate your work
nixon flying to china: this will be the high water mark for myself. then, i will see to it that everything falls apart all around me after!
3-2 bears flying to london to beat the jags: hey, that sounds like fun!
We replaced the Bills with the Browns. Let’s see if anyone notices.
Hmm
The Bills are cursed whereas the Browns bring it upon themselves
Ah, the Italian Xmas party at our favorite restaurant: sausage and peppers, ravioli, penne in vodka sauce, chicken Vincenzo. Good god. I’m all swolled up.
We had also agreed to a Christmas Truce with the Battaglias, Mugatellos, and Chiparereze, so no one got whacked.
It was Barzini all along.
I have no idea what that means but would drink/eat it all.
I have such a terrible migraine that this is about the highest amount of energy I can muster for the Seahawks INT and first TD. And second INT.
If none of you are wise to Fontaines DC (h/t to teh Hippo) they are amazing.
Today I have consumed Doritos, white wine, Guinness, Christmas cookies, and now Bourbon. Bring in the sadness!
Hitting all the food groups and drink groups!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXkN3nJyWEA
Practice facility
I’m flirting with the IR just looking at it.
I’m just starting my watch of football today – wtf is going on with the Bills?
Cursed, i assume
For dinner:
We are now teaching Deci about Slipknot and mosh pits.
Keep your hits clean and pick up anyone who goes down.
Beautiful day for Jennings
That’s like an aerial photo.
I’m in the not quite last row
This guy #19 for the Seahawks, he’s a real clown!
Ron Perlman still has it
Heh
I had a stuffed animal called BoBo when I was an infant!
Like half the people sitting around me used to live in Chicago
Damn, Charbs is killing it on my bench
Unoaked.
I picked him up because both of my starting rb’s are on their bye. I had a feeling he was going to go off today!
Yes.
I noticed.
Darnold put up 46 points for my 4-9 team. Wooo?
Hippo napped, and woke up to my Addison/JJ combo platter (5 combined TD, 250+ yards).
Is Brady hoarse from gargling all these players balls during his color commentary?
He doesn’t know what the fuck to do. He’s locked out of player’s/production meetings, his wheelhouse is talking about himself-he’s done after next year. Or sooner if his employer figures out a way to write off his salary.
I thought he was improving, (would have been hard not to, given his start), but once he bought into the Raiders it was pretty clear he wasn’t long for the booth.
The Jets playoff drought is old enough that Marc Trestman is no longer interested in it.
and in a few more years leo dicaprio is gonna dump it for a new one
Was going to make a Leo joke but you win
announcers trying to turbo jinx caleb into an int
hes a bears qb, it is gonna happen naturally at some point! be patient!
I…
I don’t even know what to say.
Complete game victory and 21 unanswered in the 4th.
Holy shit.
11-2.
SKOL motherfuckers!
Eagles will destroy you in Philly. Xoxo
Who says we’re going to Philly?
You will.
My plan is to win the division and host every game.
But that’s still a plan in development.
Look who is all cheery about showing off his Sam Darnold back tattoo in Portugal now….
He brings home a Super Bowl trophy and I ain’t ruling nothing out.
Odunze jersey in front of me
What are these horns?
It’s ska.
What is that?
Band people who are angry.
Fishbone is the tits
Agree.
You can always count on them…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Cx4Wq_pgt8&ab_channel=FishboneVEVO
Overheard: trent green reference!
Purple Monkey Dishwasher?
No, it’s actually Trent, but he’s going by the name “Trundle the Great” right now, and he thinks he’s in Brazil for the World Cup.
Trundledinho
Trundleorooskidoo
I assume you all might enjoy this.
https://twitter.com/Jackson61689330/status/1865605020432937033
Nuts. I couldn’t find the original and now the embedding is giving away the punchline.
It was $20 but this pina picante is delish
happy aaron rodgers and the ny jets have been eliminated day to all that celebrate (everyone)
Lets all have many tall glasses of Charbonnet!
the game was also a scorigami!
Thanksgiving for the Rodgers Family
I could have let it age another week..
Jonnu! Got me zero points in regulation, 11.50 in OT!
Mrs Cola rejoices
On my imaginary teevee network’s NFL coverage, I absolutely have my producers chasing down the Saints lineman who blocked that kick and won the game for an interview. He had to have been practicing that, right?
Iggles win, mighty Whitey 5 pts from Spurs, Trashbirds and Cecils gunners, drinking mimosas, just taught BC Dick about video calling. Huzzah!
Houston has TV?
Please, please show Rodgers face everytime Dolphins gets the first down.
You know Rodgers is going to throw the defense under the bus, and for once he may be right.
Hah, Raiiiiduuuuurs chant going on at Levis
That Levis kid probably has good gen—
/yanked offstage
This is the least enthusiastinc crowd headed into a staduim ever. But do appreciate the ‘jingle bells jingle bells Imma get drunk’ homeless dude
That’s genius
On the VTA, should get to the stadium about 5 minutes before kickoff. The train is not busy. I see a couple Bears hats, and a Niners beanie
Ah here they are, Niners fans all got on at Baypointe. There are like, 10 or so
Heh, ‘Lick Mill’