Welcome back to that thing we do on a regular basis. Let’s dive straight in.
To The Games!
Jags/Titans:
The Mac Jones Experience begins! Is it just me or do the Jags seem like they should be an NFC team? I should note that this tilt is of interest to only mock draft junkies and who cares about them?
Jets/Fins:
Forty-one year old Qaron has already tossed eight INT’s. He’s had 11 seasons whereby he’s thrown less than that. The writing is on the reinforced quonset hut in northern Idaho that he no doubt has filled with MRE’s. The North Koreans will invade any time now.
Falcons/Vikes:
Atlanta is now sponsored by Tom Petty’s “Free Falling”. I was a fool to choose them as my sneaky good squadoo. In other hot takes, I think that this version on Minny is real-not the fake good one that fell to the Giants in the playoffs a few years ago.
Panthers/Eagles:
Carolina isn’t quite the pushover they were earlier in the season that’ll not likely mean anything here. Philly has things figured out until they’re in a tight spot and Siriani mucks it up. The chants of “Saquon For MVP!” are growing louder…
Browns/Steelers:
Josh Allen aside, Winston is the most fun qb to watch because of his penchant for throwing downfield. Here’s hoping that racks up 4 TD’s and limits his pick sixes to two or less.
Raiders/Bucs:
Damn, this window sucks but what can you do when there are six teams on bye? Spread out the byes more? That would be silly. Them Raiders have lost 10 of 12 games and their two wins were by three and four points. Yeesh! Baker’s Redemption Tour is back on track-he’s won two straight courtesy of a forgiving schedule.
Have at it.
Make ’em play on ice and go for all 4.
https://twitter.com/GreatDayTarHeel/status/1865853738612637876
Browns gonna Brown
Ridley betting on the Jags
I do have a cold, and it’s new enough that I’m probably pretty contagious, which is probably why I suddenly have the urge to go on one of these cruises they keep advertising during games. Yes, I would like to be confined to an enclosed place with thousands of other people, most of home are either drunk, children, or drunk children, and none of whom are covering their mouths when they cough. I’m already sick, so where do I sign?
Have fun with it! I am just now getting over a common cold (not Covid, not the flu) that hung on for three weeks, and I had friends who also had the exact same thing for the same amount of time. I stayed isolated, missed Thanksgiving, and missed my flight back east last Wednesday (postponed to this Wednesday). At its worst I really thought I was dying, or at least wished I was and would get it over with already. Today is the first day I feel normal.
Drink!
I made a wine mistake. So sweet. Mrs Cola looks at me, “just put OJ with it.”
Brilliant
always worth a stab
If the wine ain’t right, it just might be my night!
And you sneer at me with my white wine in a dog dish. Pathetic.
Oh wash a fucking glass
Coke or Dr Pepper
Or sprite for a white
Make sangria
sam darnold gonna get that kirk cousins contract and that team is gonna get its kirk cousins
DOINK ALERT!
Remember like week 2 and everyone was like, “The Saints gonna be the 2024 high scoring offense?”
No
I do recall that. I didn’t fall for it. It was still Derek or David Carr, a freak tight end QB type, an aging Vegas street fighter, and what happens when you cheap out on the O line.
Good enough to cub the NFC south.
Assad Flees to Moscow.
Man…. could have been Washington DC if he’d held on another month.
It should’ve been you, Trump!
Fuck Bucky Irving’s miserable hamstring with Pam Oliver’s freakishly bulbous head. This goddamn sport is too violent to bet on.
Sure fucked over Stoma Fuckers Utd
I’ll take fucking Pam Oliver’s bulbous head for $200, Pat.
Yeah she fine by me BIL
I’ll take the daily double for Takeyah Singh, Maria Taylor, or Jennifer Hedger.
What do their asses taste like, Alex?
Accidentally listened to 2 minutes of Terry Bradshaw just now. Jesus creeping shit. America is still in agreement that it wants this? He can barely breathe in the suit and he is fucking plastered. Do thirty year olds even know who he is? Do they give a shit?
TV is so out of touch with what’s going on. The underlying thought is that he’s bringing in ratings. WHF?
Bradshaw basically IS Murrika now. Humanity soon extinct.
Great sign in Minnesota.
“We’ll never forget you, Kurt.”
“We’ll never forget you, Brent” got a lot of mileage in WI for Favre and then Brett Bielma, the Badger coach that left for pig sooey (i think that is the hippo-speak for arkansas
Is rite!
I have a scheduling conflict here tonight. Not sure who I want to go with…
/ knows exactly what station he is going with…
They called it ‘boob tube’ for a reason.
This may be slightly facetious but Tennessee-Jacksonville should qualify as a war crime.
“Inspired by the true story of Bob Dylan” is the most mealy-mouthed confuckery phrase I’ve heard in a long time. No artificial flavours, too!
“Inspired by the false story of Bob Dylan”
“Inspired by the false story of Bob Zimmerman”
/producer looking at first draft of screenplay
“Wait. You didn’t give him any superpowers? What am I paying you for?”
He’s fighting crime…with the power of SONG!
That’s a lame super power
Timothee Chalamet as Jenna Maroney as Jackie Jormp Jomp-ass movie.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOvs3rCFI2A
If you saw “Call Me By Your Name” and said to yourself, someday that peach-loving twink is gonna go 6-0 picking college footballs games on ESPN, you are a filthy liar and should feel shame.
https://twitter.com/CollegeGameDay/status/1865445177696854372
Credit to Chalamet for his acting chops, he did his homework and sounds exactly like one of ESPN’s “smart” talking heads here.
Is your toilet paper carbon neutral?
Sometimes we use Charco-caps, so most definitely not.
They’re so excited about your pending intestinal fortitude.
.
I don’t need your seashells, Sylvester. I haven’t had a solid shit in a decade.
Ever since my first colonoscopy, where the prep instructions for the night before recommend using baby ass-wipes instead of rolled toilet, I have been a convert. I even carry travel packs for use at work or when flying. I think I’ve only used toilet paper twice in the last 8 years.
Are they carbon neutral or good for the pipes? I dunno. Who cares.
Bidet is the way. They have those ones that go right on the turlet seat. It’s not only efficient, it’s delightful.
I have never once used a bidet, but I think if I did there would be no going back.
Until then, baby wipes are a portable bidet.
Toilet paper is for peasants, and is just slightly better than a Sears Catalog.
Agreed. Although I’ve never jerked off to toilet paper.
Interesting “Don’t Block TJ Watt Strategy” by Cleveland.
Well, Gumbygirl’s in trouble this week in the Lowratio League, as I caught on to Breece Hall being out just before kick-off and benched him for something called Gus Edwards, and now I’m favored to lose by only 15+ points!
Take that, Cara!
I picked up a Raiders running back, so that should be zero points!
No’Bama!? PAWWWWLLLLLLLL!!! TAIN’T FAIR, PAWWWWWWWWWLLLLLL!!!
Boise is setup for a good try at a Natty here.
Am going with Clemson, Tenn, SMU and Indy in the 1st RD.
TN/tOSU winner takes whole thing
That Duck shaped Roadblock in the Quarterfinals begs to differ.
Their defense was poop yesterday, think still too soft overall. Sparky will be a tough out in raging semis though.
Is the idea of Indiana/Notre Dame that the Committee can claim one of them won and, thus, belong?
Scoff at “Doriander” all you want but he’s the one having tantric sex with your hot daughter.
It begins! (emboldening added by me for emphasis)
———–
Brad Crawford
@BCrawford247
Wins over Top 25 teams this season entering the CFB Playoff
Oregon 4
Georgia 4
Alabama 3
Ohio State 2
South Carolina 2
Boise State 2
Arizona State 2
Clemson 1
Tennessee 1
Notre Dame 1
Penn State 1
Texas 0
SMU 0
Miami 0
Indiana 0
12:40 PM · Dec 8, 2024
·2,885
Views
Excellent loser cope. This coping is master carpenter-level.
Wonder how many of those teams in bold lost to Vanderbilt?
Steelers Pickens is out.
Injury or Immaturity?
Hamstring.
Uh oh, hopefully its not as bad as Higgins’ hammy was. He picked a bad time to hurt it.
Yeah, wr’s and hamstrings do not get along.
BWHAHAHAHA!
Suck it, Alabama!
There’s even more to cry about in that state now.
I’m going to be such a big Texas/Clemson fan.
time to put SECESSION back on the table, PAAAAWWWWWWLLLLL
“Fuck this! We’ll play in the Saudi League!”
-Alabamans, looking at their collective dollar.
Good. Trump’s favorite president threatened to raze the state and hang all the state legislators when South Carolina even teased the idea.
*Promised. Jackson didn’t threaten.
Hard to believe this done turned 40…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZwPcPy04AQ
I’ll believe it when I see it
Breaking: SMU is in @CFBPlayoff and Alabama is out, sources told @ActionNetworkHQ
https://x.com/Brett_McMurphy/status/1865803413893898575
Yeah, I ain’t fallin’ for that shit until I see SMU on the actual field.
Darkest Timeline has a rare ray of sunshine.
One of the habits that I picked up this year is having Irish breakfast tea and a biscuit on Sunday morning.
/ sticks out pinkie
It’s positively goddamned civilized,
Somebody say IRISH??
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNXrKBt76zI
Biscuit? American biscuit or Irish cookie?
Biscotti. Nonnies bakery. Lemon flavored deliciousness.
Those are good
BUT WHAT ABOUT JUST WALKING AROUND AND THEN PATTING YOURSELF ON THE BACK FOR IT?
Hey, I’m just about to do that myself.
And I have a wicked pissah of a head cold, so the self-congratulations around here are going to be off the fucking charts, let me tell you.
Pretty amazing that your ponie hasn’t died after you forcing it to keep doing the same dumb ass trick.
I’m a bad cook.
My good knees are all I have going for me.
Pick today
Bills -3.5
Bears +4
Seahawks +2.5
Moring Folks
Before the games start and ESPN explains why Alabama made the playoffs, here’s my quick 2/3rds Bengals Season Review (please substitute “stock footage” and “movie” with Bengals and Front Office where appropriate):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RcL3EIqIOdY&pp=ygUTbXN0M2sgc3RvY2sgZm9vdGFnZQ%3D%3D
SMU drops 4 spots for playing a Championship game
Alabama didn’t lose on Conference Championship Week, SMU did. Case Closed!
Today’s lottery tickets. Good luck today everyone!
Part deux:
I’m watching Lion-Girl to pass the time. There are almost as many flashbacks as there are boobies so I have a very confused erection on an intermittent basis.
Relevant to Taylor Sheridan, but everyone constantly saying Emily Blunt looks like shit in Sicario couldn’t have been more absurd if she did the entire movie in full clown makeup.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REfPPpGIzDI
Here’s a fun drinking game. Try to say ‘Kirk Cousins Revenge Game’ without busting out laughing
I’m starting too many Falcons in Math Hard league. What I’m trying to say is that I’m going to lose.
I’m starting one (London) and that also feels like too many.
As a site frequenter, I appreciate the fresh banner image.
Taking a shower sometimes does a world of good.
fuck fuck fuck, I am currently starting both J-E-S-T (ie, Allen and Davis, with Hall OUT) running backs, as a safety hedge (yes, my RB room is that bad, even though I win my division if I win this week). But there is a Sincere McCormick itch that my brain desperately wants to scratch.
I think I’ll adjust my roster this week too.
Oh snap. I picked up a second win somewhere.
Must have been that day CMC played.
Here’s hoping he throws 4 pick sixes and limits his TD’s to two or less. Fixed that for you
Inshallah, sister in Stillerhood.
Is there a Premier League equivalent of ShieldAssist™?
(Kidding, of course – he was definitely offsides. Was hoping the guy down bottom could save him)
Brighton Hove may be about to lose a game they had a 2-0 lead in going well past the 80th minutes.
Nope, couldn’t convert the free kick
Watching Aresenal line up for set pieces is like watching the Celtics put the ball into Payton Pritchard’s hands for a halfcourt buzzer beater attempt. The odds aren’t all *that* good, but they’re a lot higher than when anybody else does it.
This is Flopsy. She is 1 and a half years old. She was not trying to eat my phone, just begging for treats
Treat her to the Bears – Niners game.
That should take the edge off her hunger.
FML, I’m out of the LDB Challenge.
Up early to take my dad to get a CT Scan for his cancer, fuck cancer, so sitting in the hospital waiting room and it get quiet for 10 seconds and the fucking muzac rum-pa-dum-dumped me from the challenge.
GTD losing the LDB Challenge (Artistic Interpretation)
The Emperor’s New Groove – The Llama Balloon and Black Panthers (HD Quality)
Sorry Bro. But you took that hit doing noble service. My best to your Dad for a full and speedy recovery.
Same here. I took my hit while getting a specimen cup for Dad.
Nobility sucks.
As long as it just just getting the cup and not helping dad give the specimen
No, Mom is on receiving. I simply position Dad and then get out.
He’s had prostate cancer for 20+ years now even tho he no longer has a prostate. He was in remission but the numbers in the last blood test have jumped in a bad way , so the Dr’s are trying to eliminate some stuff and see if they can find where it is growing again.
I’m directing all the good vibes I can muster to you and your family!
Same here. Prayers incoming!
The little boy does not discriminate, he drums for all who have to leave the house no matter how benevolent the reason
Fuck cancer right in her smelly cooch.
Another one for the “No good deed goes unpunished” file…
This game should be called the Apple Bottom Derby as it is for fans who like to watch a FUL / ARS run.
ok that was shit.
Trump Fragrances
(v/o Seductive Female Voice)
“For Christmas, make your loved one smell like a McDonalds fry cook, Diet Coke, spray tan, flop sweat, and success.”
(v/o male voice at 2x Micro Machine Man Voice Speed)
“Trump Fragrances is a subsidiary of Amalgamated Industrial Waste, LLC, a division of the Trump Organization. Testing was not complete per orders by Elon Musk and Robert Kennedy Jr, but preliminary testing revealed side effects of elevated heart rate, hives, rash, spontaneous constipated diarrhea, rapid hair transplants to other parts of the body, Barclay Protomorphosis Syndrome, may cause your Pokemon to evolve without the use of an Evolutionary Stone or Conditions, and spontaneous gender reassignment. Trump Fragrances must be stored in a dark area when not in use and not be fed after 12 noon. Trump Fragrances has dissolved Happy Fun Ball. HMIS Rating: 4-4-4-K”
(v/o Seductive Female Voice)
“Smell like a winner. Smell like Trump.”
You forgot dirty diaper
On the contrary, ma’am, may I refer you to the words “McDonalds fry cook”.
I have had too much coffee.
Attempted Martial Law failed. Rebels overthrow an autocratic regime. I can’t tell if last week was Trump being Christmas Carol’d or a preview of the Trump Administration.
When I have a heart attack in the next 65 minutes. I love you all and avenge my death.
.
The DFO Battle Cry!
Should someone also delete your browser history?
Yessssssss you Mexican beauty!!!!!
How great was that?!
Woke up the missus yelling yesssss.
Italian beauty sir…
Up for the early Prem window to cheer Smith-Rowe & Litre’s Mighty Whites. Also trying to broker peace between a visiting pooch and our cats, but trust is a hard-earned currency. To the Xmas tree farm with the in-laws later today! But truth be told, I haven’t got any sort of Christmas spirit yet. Even after scoring my son Sixers/Celtics tickets and a really nice Philly home jersey with his favorite player’s name & number. It’s early, though. Maybe getting tossed from the LDB Challenge will do the trick. Have a peaceful morning filled with hot beverages, warm toes, and winning bets everyone!
What time will I melt down and turn this off? Stay tuned!!!
Why do I do this to myself???
Smith-Rowe brace! Massive upset! Declan Rice slips on Traore’s biceps Vaseline and shatters both kneecaps! THINK POSITIVE!
We need the fucking ball to do anything.