Seems like it’s been forever since I posted a thingy on a Saturday-maybe a year ago? Who knows? Anyhoo, the pre-Sunday NFL tilts are starting up so here we are. Hippo kindly agreed that we’d split the difference today and I’d like to thank the ungulated one and Litre and Don T for pitching in while family stuff needed to be covered off. Is it still ongoing? Why yes it is.
To The Games!
Clemson/Texas:
-It’s the God Botherers vs the Shittiest Large State In The Union! (* “Hey, what about us?-Florida)
-Texas can beat any team in the nation on any day of the week-except Georgia.
-It’s fitting that a state that has water shortage issues has a football team that had such a long dry spell from 2010-2022, averaging a mere (for them) 7 wins a year during that time.
-ESPN tells me that Texas has the finest linebacker corps in the nation. They’re first in least amount of yards allowed per play so maybe there’s some meat on that proclamation.
-Look for some downfield action against Clemson-they allow a big play (20+ yards) on 7.7% of defensive plays.
Teabagging Tennessee/”A” Ohio State Football Program:
-Not Bad: These institutions have 14 national champeenships between them. (Peyton didn’t have any though)
-The winner of this gets the Ducks and then has to win two more to get another title.
-Is Dylan Sampson a good rb with an NFL future ahead of him? I’ve no clue but the kid has racked up 1400+ yards on the ground and 22 TD’s.
-The Vols qb situation seems a bit wonky-Nico “No Vowels Left Behind” Iamaleava has the lowest QBR rating of any guy at his position among the teams in the playoff. He might be in for a long evening because OSU’s sack rate is 3rd overall and their pressure rate is 4th.
Steelers/Ravens:
-Pitt’s D is rock solid so why is the DC Teryl Austin getting no national shine whatsoever?
-As you may have expected, the last nine games between these teams has been decided by one score.
-Lamar has had some issues vs good teams and the Steelers are among them-he’s 1-4 against them.
-Is it just me or should this game be played on the last Monday night of the regular season every year?
-Tomlin and Harbaugh have faced one another 37 times. This only happens when two in-division teams are well-built, well-run and exist on a solid foundation, something I know nothing about.
-If you’re a Yinzer and running late, no worries. Pitt is a very slow starter averaging just 3.4 points in the first quarter. You didn’t miss anything.
I did the games out of order. Changing it would require a few keystrokes, something I’m just not up to. Enjoy the tilts.
Is this hillbilly sideline reporter a make-a-wish kid?
So no fun CFB games until NYE.
If then. Maybe it will all be slop.
Okay, so they should’ve stopped at 6 teams.
Can we just HAVE ONE GODDAMNED COMPETITIVE MATCH PLS
https://doorfliesopen.com/2024/12/21/your-saturday-afternoon-evening-football-centric-open-thread/#comment-1195038
I’M THINKING ABOUT IT!
https://ibb.co/MSMgZfk
The last time the Stillers lost two in a row, they then won six straight. Coincidentally, six wins straight from now would be a Superb Owl title.
I pretty much knew we would lose these last two. The question was HOW.
Considering they made stupid mistakes that cost them both games, that’s not too shabby. Mistakes are fixable.
Being dominated is not. I don’t think they were dominated at all in either game.
Ryan Day already scared about making a coaching mistake
The amount of Funds allocated to Bread Dye for OSU must rival the school LMS budget.
I did a thing!
SEC SEC SEC
Hey someone remind OSU about the last time they played.
The Simpsons – Football In The Groin (Hans Moleman)
At least Fozzy should be happy!
Fozz? Happy? Are you on the drugs that I’ve heard so much about?
Happy … little less murderous rage than usual, same thing for him.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQ2-SkLfldk
An encore presentation. Go ahead and, press the button:
https://vimeo.com/725076200
mile high russ back!
Hello, DangerRuss.
Uh, did Baltimore forget they had Derrick Henry as RB?
They seem to do that occasionally, although last week was the first time it lasted a whole game
Let’s be honest sports writer bitches, if the Ravens get to the AFC Championship game, it’ll be because King Henry went on a run, not Lamar.
at least pey pey broke his loser narrative eventually. still waiting on lamar
MVP.
Sure.
Hello, Tomlin Voodoo.
He should check the freshness of that eye of newt
Texas letting Clemson right back in this thing. Sarkisian desperately looking for brown liquor.
The Titans and the Ravens rarely throw a dump off/screen pass to Henry. Every single time I’ve seen him catch a dump off it’s gone for a long (10+ yards) gain. WTF???
Mike McDaniels
Is there no state of mind that Timbuk 3 doesn’t address? Not that I’m aware of.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_68UDXJ3_Y&ab_channel=AustinHistoryCenter
Joebuk Nekkid
I had a beetle or something fly full speed into my eye once while horseback riding, that sucked
Much younger WCS’s right eye took a fly or bee and swallowed it.
It went in, and never came back out. It disappeared somewhere.
It hurt, but it wasn’t pain-pain.
Had a hornet sting me right between my eyes when I was a kid. They both swelled shut.
All beverages (except water) are flavored water. Why haven’t they given that ‘flavored sparkling water’ crap a different name?
“Essence”
oh wait
He’s talking about semen right?
It’s his dream journal.
NFL Network is about to air the Fair Catch Kick if you missed it.
Bateman wanted to celebrate that touchdown but he had to return some game tapes.
Found a funny:
“party city’s going out of business” would be a good line to say right before you kicked someone in the nuts
Look I know way too much about Madden 2002 because I had too much time on my hands and didn’t know what porn really was back then.
The Jets need to get Ty Law and Shane Lechler ASAP. I don’t care that Tony Boselli’s knee is basically surgical screws either.
Tony Siragusa is available on the waiver wire.
Bateman with the catch in the corner!
TD Ravens! 🐦⬛
Heck of a drive!!!
That was Rockingggg!!!
I need to start rooting for Trump. Use my powers for good instead of evil.
Worth a try, but does it still work if your heart isn’t in it?
I’m rooting for the Pittsburgh Steelers. That answer your fucking question?
Sure, but only as a proxy for something you actually care about, so that makes sense
The trick is to put money on it. I actually have a post in the works regarding this very subject.
Oh, good, Hill is moving.
Concussion, I imagine
And a good one.
Yeah, it was lights out for him.
Justice Hill POV (Artistic Interpretation)
Startup of an old 386 computer running windows 3.11
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQib7LUCdDI
Fuck, not moving
He got knocked out on the first contact with the ground
The ground is a bastard, still pretty bad to be out more than momentarily
the ground is what killed chris henry ppl forget that
/also that poor videographer kid at notre dame
OK, that’s not something we’ll need to see a second replay of.
No winner winners, but I made the chicken dinner anyway. Found the chicken in the freezer while clearing out space for the Christmas turkey. So, I whacked up some potatoes and got them on the boil for mashed, got the giblet stock rolling for gravy, prepped the corn and stuffing, pushed a bunch of herbs and butter underneath that skin, and I says to that chicken I says —
Watching Montana State play South Dakota in FBS-1 or whatever and looking at 70% of the Black population of both states running around the field.
I’ve had two nut punches today. There’s a third.
Nut punches-Is the first ingredient rum or vodka? I can’t remember.
Starting your night with a nut punch is one way to make sure your night can only get better.
HOLY SUDDEN CHANGES
Will be here in an hour if anyone wants a beer and a burger.
They do not have TVs, which I am not happy about.
A bar without a TV is like a mosh pit without a Skinny Puppy.
LOL
The Bengals are at a relatively healthy 9%
Still in the fight!
Three beers and shot of chartreuse deep and just took the dog for a nearly 4 mile hike in 24 degree weather (Fahrenheit, as God intended) to sober up before heading to Worcester to one pf the premier cocktail/beer bars for a birthday dinner with daughter and her boyfriend.
Not seeing a lot football today, but still pretty good.
That’s Rocking!
I appreciate that the roman numerals for the NOLA SB spell LIX
This is a short film (34 seconds) I edited from some night photography I did.
What happens at 20 seconds is a fluke, I was just lucky to be there. I didn’t plan it, I wasn’t expecting it, it just happened. I sold this to Adobe Stock but I don’t know if they used it.
It’s pretty amazing what happens but like I said I didn’t plan it. The driver lived as far as I know.
Just watch it. 34 seconds.
https://vimeo.com/704014684
Whoa!
What the fuck Wilson !
Yeah you know what time it is!
Motherfucking Nutcracker time!
12th goddamn year in a row!
I’ll drink heavily when I get home.
Have fun! Don’t let Litre drop any spoilers
When did shame pizza get so expensive?
At least I have some non-shameful beer to go with it
Delivery has gotten super expensive. I prefer takeout from a local place unless I’m super lazy.
It’s not just delivery, menu prices are higher in California than Chicago for every national chain I’ve checked (2)
I ordered a pepperoni “shame pizza” (did I do that right?) delivered last night. It was maybe 13″ diameter and cost $23.00. It was pretty good though.
Okay, so Houston disappointed me yet again, but the next strategic Bengals playoff game to root for is…no
(leave Clubhouse)
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDGE!
(reentered Clubhouse)
(through gritted teeth)
here we go, steelers, here we go
I’m actively cheering for Steerfuckers South, it ain’t going down no easier.
They really need to sell Bengals branded stress balls
You too enjoy the tits!
https://boobychristmas.com/
FUN FACT! If the Yinzers win today, every single AFC division will be decided.
FUN FACT! On February 10, every single winner of every Superb Owl every played will be decided.
holy cats y’all TEH PEACES FIT!!!
TWO selections of red wine at the ballet. What a country.
Boone’s Farm Raspberry *and* Boone’s Farm Strawberry!
You don’t have to have dancers of color if you have non-white wines for sale!
Florida hosts DeSantis, while Texas hosts Rogan.
HippoVERDICT – YES
GO CATS GO!!!
What channel is this on? Hippo don’t get Montana Public Access, tho
ABC, son