It’s Your Sunday Night NFL Football Open Thread

As I type this the Lions are having their way with the Bears and my silly prediction of Arizona walking into a trap game is coming to fruition. On the stupid prediction end of things, an “about to be injured” Saquon is tearing up the field and having himself a game. The Giants are being their usual selves. Speaking of…

To The Game!

Bucs/Boys:

-Eww! That sounds like a mis-spelled gay porn title.

-Have I ever mentioned that I hate Dallas and that the Jones ownership of said team is the gift that keeps on giving? No? Billionaires with their heads fully encased within their ass are the world’s gift to us cynical folks out there.

-Apropos of nothing, I was offered a price on burnt cow hoofs last week. WTH?

-Math Update: Funny how a four game win streak can turn a 4-6 Tampa team into a seemingly successful 8-6 team.

-Whatever. It’s the NFC South-the bar is so low there.

-For fantasy purposes, I’m glad that Dan Campbell is a “Foot on the Gas” kinda fella.

-Mayfield is a Texas boy and the last time he was in Dallas his squadoo put up 49 points.

-Finishing Strong: Tampa, of all teams, is 8-1 in December/January tilts since last year. They’re 20-5 going back to 2020.

-Tampa drafted well this year-wr McMiilan, lb Braswell, rb Irving, center Barton and safety Smith are all starting.

Give me your best.

 

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WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vs3eaG4xmgU

The guys from Rifftrax released this right as my divorce was finalizing. So, for me, this is doubly great.

Unsurprised

Spelling Bee is outsmarting me but I’m almost done with the rest of the day’s games. Yesterday I tried to do tiles but my colorblindness made that as futile as the Jets’ season

Doktor Zymm

Lots of compound words in the bee today

WCS

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Unsurprised

What’s the Mexican movie where Santa is sporting a Pancho Villa mustache under the beard?

WCS
Unsurprised

Gracias

Doktor Zymm

Ok, maybe not quite sleepy time, but at least get offline and into bed time. G’night all, and sweet dreams! Like ice cream dreams, or cake dreams

WCS

How many of yinz actually have to work today (Monday)? I do, but this isn’t a typical 09-17, so that’s what one signs up for and accepts.

Since about 93% of the Clubhouse are law-talkin’ types in some capacity, I can’t imagine much labor and/or production today. So, what’re yinz doing Monday Christmas Week?

Unsurprised

I have to work 8-5, but I’m working from home and I’m the only one on the team working on Mondays.

I try desperately to stay offline during work but we’ll see. Nothing is really going on, but this is also time to ramp up for when layoffs follow Christmas and we have time to plan without being bothered or having to put out fires.

Doktor Zymm

I will be, and I think a good chunk of my team will be in although most people will be off the rest of the year after Monday. We did our December release last week so it’ll be a fairly relaxed day, and although I have plans for stuff to work on it is fun stuff.

Doktor Zymm

(or at least stuff I think is fun, this may deviate from generally accepted values of ‘fun’)

Unsurprised

I welcome our Weather Control Machine overlords.

ballsofsteelandfury

I do

WCS

Jerking off 27 times isn’t “working” by the US Department of Labor.

Although, by 2027, it might be…

Doktor Zymm

If RFK has talked about that I’ve blocked it out

Don T

Work, invoice, try to finish everything before 5. Do it again in the 24th

Unsurprised

/stumbles in

Did I miss anything?

Doktor Zymm

I guess I’m just staying up and playing sudoku, so having one more scotch
Dec 9th: Ardmore 2009 (Peated) 13yr “Old Particular” K&L Exclusive Refill Bourbon Barrel 

It is, in fact, peaty!

WCS

I’m still here!

Doktor Zymm

I will check in between sudokus!

WCS
WCS

Love the week before Christmas. Sleep becomes a hypothetical concept.

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Gatoraids

same dilemma goto sleep but can’t, so guess gotta drink

WCS

Brave of you to shoulder that burden.

Horatio Cornblower

I have to go Xmas shopping tomorrow. Very excited.

WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VvzfI7cXCDM

Find a hiding spot, stay silent and still.

Doktor Zymm

I’m starting to think that NFC East games are all AI generated

Gatoraids

Clown fiesta

Redshirt

Odd time for the Cowboys to start trying.

Horatio Cornblower

I can’t imagine what Ol’ Double J would do with a top 4 pick these days anyway.

WCS

JOHNNY FUCKING FOOTBALL ANTONIO BROWN MAH GOTTDANGED STAR ZEEK AN’ OJ SIMPSON IN THE BACKFIELD

WE’RE NOT JUST ALL IN THIS TIME, IFFIN’ MAH STARS DONT WIN THE NEXT FIVE SUPERBOWLS WITH THAT TALENT IMMA BLOW THE GOTTDAMNED MOON, SUN, AN’ THAT BASTARD SATURN OUTTA THE GOTTDAMN SKY! WATCH ME DO IT, TOO YAH CHUCKLEDICKS!
YEEEEEHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWW I AM TRULY FUCKIN CRAZY

Horatio Cornblower

Oh right, yeah, there it is.

Brick Meathook

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Col. Duke LaCross

Sudden-ish change!

Horatio Cornblower

SUDDEN CHANGE!!!

Doktor Zymm

Weird feeling, I’m kinda rooting for the Cowfolk here for some reason. Probably because they’re about to lose

Gumbygirl

Veni, Vidi, Vita Vea!

Horatio Cornblower

“This like watching the NFC championship game!!!!” says Collinsworth, lying through his teeth.

Doktor Zymm

I think another one
Dec 8th, Ki One Korean Single Malt Virgin American Oak Cask

I’ve never had a fancy Korean whisky before, not sure I’ve had any Korean whisky before

Doktor Zymm

I guess the Cowboys want the 2nd place team in the NFC North to play the Falcons

Horatio Cornblower

That’s a perfectly cromulent interception.

Brick Meathook

Tirico is in rare form tonight, and I mean that in a good way. I think he had a halftime martini.

Gumbygirl

He’s hanging out with Collinsworth. I’d be drinking Sterno.

Horatio Cornblower

I mean, are you not?

Brick Meathook
Doktor Zymm

I wonder how many of those tiny solo cups they go through in a year?

Brick Meathook

My total bar bill was $2.00 but I tipped $15.00.

Horatio Cornblower

Close enough.

Gumbygirl

No, but I am living dangerously. I ate some grocery store sushi!

Mr. Ayo

I’d be force feeding Chris a rusty sword

Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Horatio Cornblower

That’s the second WR Mayfield has tried to get killed this quarter alone.

Horatio Cornblower

Yeah, if the other team has a healthy Vita Vea in the middle it’s OK to go ahead and abandon the run.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

vita means healthy in some latin-based language ppl forget that

Doktor Zymm

It’s ‘life’ in Latin, which is the original latin based language

Horatio Cornblower

Ironic, for a dead language.

Doktor Zymm

There is also a word for death in Latin, mortem. If Vita ever lines up across from a guy named Mort, Vita might have a great 3 quarters but Mort will win in the end

Bogdanski

Mort is DEATH’S apprentice after all

Doktor Zymm

Basic Latin is super helpful for appreciating British comedy!

I should reread Hogsfather, tis the season

Last edited 30 days ago by Doktor Zymm
Bogdanski

I’m just counting down the days to the 32nd

WCS

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Bogdanski

Everytime I see him i can’t help singing “Weekend at Mort’s, weekend at Mort’s”. My kids are super into Bob’s Burgers lately so I’ve been rewatching a bunch. I can’t believe the consistency of the puns in the opening credits

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Tell them one of your internet friends is friends with the voice of Hawk. He’s a cool guy and cooks a mean post-Thanksgiving discount turkey.

Bogdanski

You know Shinji “Koji” Kojima? I will totally use that to make me seem cool in there eyes. Discount turkey is my favorite, got quite a bit goin on here

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

No, Keisuke Hoashi. He is the boyfriend of someone I went to high school with.

Horatio Cornblower

Valar morghulis.

yeah right

Valar dohaeris.

Gumbygirl

That’s very Romantic.

Doktor Zymm

Finally poured myself the next day in my Scotch advent calendar.

  1. All the way up to Dec 7th, Bladnoch 2006 17yr Sherry Cask #445
Doktor Zymm

Oh this is nice, smooth and with some toffee and coffee notes on the finish. There should be other good stuff that starts with a letter and ends in -offee

yeah right

If we get a “Boy howdy” and a “Skeedaddle” we hit blackout on the Collingsworth bingo card.

ArmedandHammered

Whelp, that is enough of me watching this game, that actually hurt.

WCS

Baker, Baker, turnover maker.

Horatio Cornblower

That Toyota commercial is a fantastic argument for corporal punishment.

WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IP4TP_YtAFA

Some nights just have a vibe already.

Gumbygirl

That song is such a banger!

Horatio Cornblower

Steve Kornacki is like a pile of cocaine wished to be a real boy.

Gatoraids

have we seen him and Scott Hanson in same place

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I swear to you officer, that’s the only explanation that makes sense!” – Jim Irsay, when a runaway fourteen year-old is found sleeping on his living room couch

Brick Meathook

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ArmedandHammered

not enough blades on those props

WCS

Haldo.

Brick Meathook

Haldo, mif dostas.

ArmedandHammered

I like my marijuana like I like my coffee – freshly ground. Listening to Blood, Sweat, and Tears eponymous album and was wondering if there was any other band that sounds like them, I mean that is a very unique sound.

blaxabbath

I’m going to get drugs for my Hawaii flight now!

ArmedandHammered

Is it legal in Hawaii? I mean c’mon Maui Wowee.

Horatio Cornblower

No, he’s inserting heroin balloons in his anus. How do you think he’s paying for that kitchen?

blaxabbath

It’s not. I mean, no one gonna bother my white land owning ass for smoking, especially because I’m always down to share (man in a foreign land et al) but there’s no legal marketplace. Probably has to do more with the logistics of establishing/maintaining a crony capitalistic marketplace on the islands — but it’d be a great thing to offer tourists. I imagine weed grown in volcanic soils, like all things grown in volcanic soils, is supreme.

Gumbygirl

Get to cultivating some personal strains, slacker!

ThePirateSloth

I know Kauai used to have 1 medical dispensary, and they did take out of state medical marijuana cards, but no recreational yet. I haven’t been back in a few years, so I don’t know what the current situation is, though.

Brick Meathook

If you can’t buy pot in Hawaii you must be wearing a policeman’s uniform.

Gumbygirl

I can’t think of one. I’d say maybe Chicago comes closest, but not all that close

Doktor Zymm

wait, this is just the end of the half!?

Horatio Cornblower

Believe it or not, they’re going to do this again in about 20 minutes.

Horatio Cornblower

Yes, if I were the owner of an NFL franchise I would be looking at the last three weeks of a lost season to make sure people hadn’t quit on me, because finishing 9-8, missing the playoffs, and picking 13th-18th is much better than going 3-14, missing the play-offs, and picking 3rd.

If you’re gonna miss the play-offs, miss by a wide margin.

Doktor Zymm

Yeah, there’s a lot of ways you could use those games productively and maintaining some imaginary sense of dignity is not one of them

ArmedandHammered

But the trick is to lose respectably as to not upset the fan base too much, but still tank in such a fashion to minimize possible injury to your few stars and not be too obvious. And of course no NFL owner can do anything respectably.

Brick Meathook

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Horatio Cornblower

“They’ll get this right” says Mike Tirico, as if he were talking about something other than NFL officiating.

Horatio Cornblower

I think maybe it’s time for Cee Dee to call it a season.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS GUY CEE DEE LAMB I CALL HIM THE COMPACT DISC BECAUSE PHONETICALLY HE IS REFERRED TO “CEE DEE” AND BECAUSE HE NO LONGER SEEMS TO BE OF MUCH USE.

Doktor Zymm

Picked the color for my Minimal Phone today!

The project is only a few months delayed and a handful of people in the Indiegogo comments are freaking tf out and yelling about refunds, kinda hilarious

ArmedandHammered

Those are the same fuckers who start honking as soon as the light changes, even though they are 5 cars back from the front.

Gumbygirl

I just saw the last half hour of the Dark Crystal, because Labryinth is coming on next. Henson and Oz did some cool stuff. Dark for the kiddoes, maybe, but fuck them kids!

Gatoraids

even was watching Emit Otter Jug Band last week and didnt realize how dark it was for kids and poverty

Brick Meathook

All good stories for children have a darkness to them. Look at Walt Disney classics like “Snow White” (contract killing), “Bambi” (Bambi’s mother is killed), and “Old Yeller” (they shoot the dog). After Walt died and his son in law took over, Disney movies became saccharine crap where nothing bad happened.

The rule of classic Greek drama is you have to go through hell before you can find redemption.

Children aren’t stupid and they respond to this. When I was a kid I hated anything that talked down to me.

Gumbygirl

Absolutely! I loved stuff like this when I was a young’n. So did my kid.

ArmedandHammered

Even the original Benji has it’s dark moments when (spoilers) Benji’s original owner dies.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

How funny, I hadn’t thought about The Dark Crystal for ages until I made a reference to it last night. It seems to have a really rich lore.

Brick Meathook
blaxabbath

That fivehead is dead on.

Brick Meathook

I gave you a like even though I don’t know what “five hole” means.

Brick Meathook

Or “fivehead” either

ArmedandHammered

a forehead + another head, you could land an Osprey on that fivehead, if it didn’t blow up on its own (the Osprey, not the fivehead).

Brick Meathook

Thx now I get it

blaxabbath

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Need us to explain five hole, too?

ThePirateSloth

I ain’t been this fired up about Seahawks fuck ups since the Darrell Bevell days. I want to be bar drunk arguing that it was a blown route by DK rather than a terrible pass by Geno. Then call in to the morning AM radio show, still drunk, to yell my feelings out in a Boston Sportsball fan type rant, minus the racism.

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yeah right

That was most definitely a fucked up route.

Not on Geno.

blaxabbath

Baker Mayfield is an easy to like guy.

I hope he dies on the field during tonight’s broadcast.

King Hippo

See, you are catching The Darkest Timeline spirit!

litre_cola

I need the Cowfolk to win to save my gambling day. Make it so Gamblor!

blaxabbath

I’m sure the team that just saw their season end will play with great vigor.

litre_cola

I really hope so, as it is all about me.

yeah right

I knew this was going to be a glorious football Sunday!

It started really well when my Cherries gave ManUre three solid skid marks and now what?

13-2 is what.

SKOL motherfuckers!

King Hippo

Flex that Week 18 mofo already, MURRIKA wanna see the showdown!

yeah right

That has serious badass potential.

Showdown for division and home field throughout.

Doktor Zymm

And the bye

yeah right

Yes ma’am!

King Hippo

Imagine being 14-3 and going on the road for the Wild Card round. Somebody gonna.

yeah right

That’s fucked up.

Doktor Zymm

At least it’ll be an easy road game in a nice warm climate against the winner of the NFC South

Gumbygirl

I just checked my fantasy matchup for the lulz- last time I looked, Boris was whooping my ass by around 50-60 points. Somehow, I won! And my top scorer was a Jaguar, lolololol!

Gatoraids

Jason Garrett smiling at ways he coulda ruined Daniels career