Your Christmas-y Football Open Thread

Damn, feels like it’s been 48 hours since I last watched some pro football. Where does the time go? (Mike McCarthy wonders where the timeouts go) When I woke up this morning the house was freezing and I thought we were in for a very crispy day but no worries, it was just that one of my kids had left the door open overnight. (again!) I’d also like to take this time time to recommend to you the S’mores Bailey’s flavor but not the almond. Salted caramel split the vote but I thought it was yummy. A Bailey’s taste test just might turn into a Christmas morning tradition-it’s never too late!

To The Game!

Chiefs/Steelers:

-Most interested watcher of this tilt? My guess is Josh Allen. Hailee Stanfield is probably with her parents right now, fuming.

-K.C. is doing the three games in eleven days so that the NFL gets those gorgeous rating. Tell that to the Chiefs lineman that gets carted off-it’ll make him feel better.

-Their heretofore no-name receiving corps is looking a lot better, what with Marquise Brown back from extended IR time, Xavier Worthy asserting himself, the trade for Hopkins and late season Kelce about to do what he does.

-Beware the Chiefs rush D. Among the star rb’s that they’ve held way below their usual averages are Mixon, Henry, Bijan and Kamara.

-Mahomes has 14TD’s and nary a pick vs the Steelers.

-Do Tomlin’s voodoo powers double during the holidays? Unsolved Mysteries should be looking into this.

-Pickens should be back today. Does The Sullen One have an effect on the passing game? When he’s not around Wilson averages 167 yards in the air, with him that skyrockets to 271.

Do your thingy.

 

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Doktor Zymm

As a consquence of the netflix thing, the games appear to not be on at the airport. Good thing I have y’all for commentary

Senor Weaselo

“That’s a ten-second runoff, the game is over, now get the fuck out, everyone.”

Beerguyrob

That is a FANTASTIC way to end this game.

Brick Meathook

Well this is a Merry Fuckin’ Christmas! (I think)

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Beerguyrob

Or your Korean War grandpappy’s worst nightmare.

Redshirt

Oh, good. We’re getting a resting Kansas City Chiefs and a pissed off Pittsburgh Steelers on Week 18. That’s the exact opposite of what the Bengals needed.

King Hippo

Yeah, you might as well rest Burrow now.

Redshirt

I trust that’s complete impartial advice and not strategic Bronco planning?

BugEyedBoo

Strategic Steeler planning too!

King Hippo

We are not a good squadron, but we will beat the Chefs walkons at home pretty easily (Week 18).

Redshirt

That’s what I figured too. Based on the current scenario, assuming the Bengals win out, odds are either the Broncos defeat the Sous Chefs or the Colts don’t sleepwalk through their weak schedule.

Gumbygirl

Is Burrow hurt badly enough to be out this week? I might have to play Love instead.

BugEyedBoo

I read that he’s fine. Week 17 soreness.

Doktor Zymm

I would imagine his feelings are hurt by the ineptness of Bengal management, but that’s more of a chronic condition that he’s learning to manage

Redshirt

If this is on George Pickens, he’s getting arrested on the field.

Senor Weaselo

Double false start!

Beerguyrob

WineWife just put the bird in the oven.

In four hours, we eat like kings.

Senor Weaselo

I’ll take the Kelcedown (could’ve used it last week…) but you still can’t dunk it because we can’t have too much fun.

Brick Meathook

MISTER SWIFT’S MAGIC CHRISTMAS

King Hippo

Danielle Haim? Gives Hippo feelings.

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WCS

Great to see the Stillers are in such giving moods on Christmas.

Redshirt

The Superman trailer looks good, but I’m waiting for the Snyder Cut.

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Dunstan

The scene where Krypto and Bat-Dog discover that their mothers were both called Marley is really touching.

Brick Meathook

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King Hippo

If we are gonna have Narrative, can we at least get a KHuntDOWN??

Mr. Ayo

As you command!

Brick Meathook

It’s like you can see the future . . .

King Hippo

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Last edited 18 hours ago by King Hippo
King Hippo

YAAAAAAASSSSS QUEEN

Jimbo

Apparently Yes

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m back from the Korean church service. There were some musical acts but they did not live up to what I’ve come to expect from Korean performers.

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Jimbo

Baby go no back. Sir Mix-a-Lot

Brick Meathook

Well there’s the Moonies:

https://ibb.co/JvQJ5kk

litre_cola

Watched a doco on those folks. They are wild!

Brick Meathook
King Hippo

There are Korean Methodist, Baptist, and Presbyterian churches in Cakalaky!

Brick Meathook

I want to see the Korean Hassidic Jews

Jimbo

An Italian President,that’s inconceivable

King Hippo

rite he wud be subservient to teh POPE!!!111

King Hippo

There was a great, old-school SNL mock-anti-Dukakis ad series on this. I am too lazy to find.

Doktor Zymm

Just heading to the airport, should get there just in time to find out what the Shield pulls out of their ass for KC!

King Hippo

We can be assured that DOINK is a proper Christian!

Senor Weaselo

Nullified DOINK!

Mr. Ayo

Incredible audio on that one. Good jerb, Netflix.

litre_cola

That was an incredible 2 hour hangover nap. I feel refreshed. Time to eat all of the Christmas cookies in this house.

King Hippo

Mina Kimes is such a solid pro. She should have a more prominent gameday role (like she is today).

litre_cola

I 100 percent have a crush on her.

King Hippo

Kay Adams is more my creepy-fondness jam, but I am certain Ms. Kimes would be a better/more stable girlfriend.

Brick Meathook

Here’s The Earthquake Family, in color.

I know this goes way over a lot of your heads, but just give me a Xmas “like” for statistical research purposes. Have a happy holiday, and regardless of your faith or creed, no matter how stupid and/or false it may be, let us all bask in the love of the One True Lord, Jesus H. Christ, especially today on his birthday.

Happy Birthday Jesus! (and don’t pronounce it “Hay-Zeus”)

https://www.facebook.com/cris.shapan/videos/10214974893981349
https://ibb.co/hBRZN8n
(Cris Shapan)

Mr. Ayo

Happy Birthday Divine bro!

Senor Weaselo
yeah right

Holy shit people, you’ve got to somehow get your hands on a bag of Tayto cheese and onion Irish potato chips.

Mine arrived on Christmas eve. A true holiday miracle!

So fucking good.

Doktor Zymm

HOPPING ON ONE FOOT FOR 7 MILES IS NAWT A CATCH

Senor Weaselo

I know that doesn’t count as two feet, but that feels like it deserves to be a catch.

Brick Meathook

Wait . . . (searches alcohol infused memory) . . . didn’t the Steelers play 3 days ago?

Doktor Zymm

4 Earth days

Redshirt

Standard Sunday-to-Thursday Break. NFL has no problem with it, at least until Mahomes gets a stress fracture injury.

Senor Weaselo

Victor Wembanyana is pretty good at the basketball.
/Yes, watching basketball because it’s my team playing

King Hippo

Roger Goodell isn’t ANGRY. He’s just DISAPPOINTED.

Unsurprised

I have to admit that Dempsey’s hair is something to aspire to if I make it to the age where I start greying.

WCS

Another picture-perfect drive down to the three, where it stalls completely, resulting in a turnover on downs.

Doktor Zymm

Why is the 3 games in 11 days considered a big deal for KC? There are 3 other teams doing it for this Christmas football, it’s the same 4 teams playing each other over the Saturday/Wednesday stretch

WCS

Because NARRATIVE.

Unsurprised

Of fucking course KC is bailed out

Gumbygirl

I am very happy not to have Netflix. I made the mistake of checking the score-oof! Oh well, Merry Fucking Christmas to yinz!

Redshirt

Your Steelers are getting royally hosed. I’m not saying I don’t completely hate it, but its refreshing to see it can happen.

Dunstan

As I do every year, I will remind you all that the true meaning of today is not presents or food or football, but the celebration of the birth of a man who brought joy and meaning to the world and is my personal savior.

So, Happy Jimmy Buffett’s Birthday, everyone! Fins up!

Senor Weaselo

We would have also accepted Rickey (RIP)

WCS

Teams just should concede third and any distance. Just save us the time, effort, annoyance, and BLEERGHness.

WCS

See? Fuck off, BLEERGH. We know how you’re going for.

The Maestro

Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals. Hope it’s been an excellent thus far for all of you except the Kansas City Chiefs. And Pittsburgh Steelers.

Senor Weaselo

Merry Christmas, now go win the whole fucking thing.

/Yes, I’m absolutely gutted

ballsofsteelandfury

New Thread!

King Hippo

PLAY BETTER

ballsofsteelandfury

Looks we all got a lump of coal.

We know what we did.

King Hippo

RITE??

Speaking of sin, am reading Scotchy’s book recommend about the Klan in Indiana, and it’s amazing to see that WASPery can be used in the pursuit of EVIL somehow smgdh

Dunstan

#notallwasps

Unsurprised

/The British Empire has joined the chat