Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks tl;dr of last week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.

This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
By the will art thou lost, by the will art thou found, by the will art thou free, captive, and bound [in bed]. Angelus Silesius

Remember kids, have a safe word. Or not, whatever floats your boat.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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Eli laments about the Snorks being a one season wonder.
ArmedandHammered

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I am sooooooo glad this series is back.

I have a demand to make of DFO Productions – WarHammer! The Musical.
King Hippo

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Apparently JD Vance is in or headed to Vermont to do some skiing. My son, who lives in that brave little state, just texted me “Why is JD Vance coming to ski in a state that voted against him faster than he finished in that couch?”
Horatio Cornblower

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Today I learned that dolphin wang looks a lot like that iconic photo of Nessie
Doktor Zymm

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Fun story about Pioneer. One of my dearest friends was born with a pretty pronounced underbite which used to drive her crazy. Ultimately when she was at the age the doctor deemed safe, she had surgery where her jaw bone was cut on each side, a section was removed from each side and it was put back together.

Point is, she had her jaw wired shut for something like 3 months. She could tell you where all of the best mashed potato and gravy places were in town because that and soup was about all she could eat.

She loved Pioneer’s mashed potatoes and gravy the most.

Before the surgery her, her boyfriend, my still best friend, and I used to go out to dinner bi-weekly at this great little family owned Italian place. She always ordered the rigatoni and meat sauce.

During the time when her jaw was wired shut she got so desperate that we picked her up some rigatoni with meat sauce and brought it home.

She put it in a blender so she could get it in her mouth.

It was hilariously awful to be a part of that.
yeah right

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My parents weren’t perfect. But they gave me a fucking shot for a killer disease that it’s pretty fucking embarrassing if you let your kid get/die from it.

Come to think of it, the shot was probably presented as a form of punishment
blaxabbath

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I need to have a (very minor) surgical procedure. Getting a cyst removed. I’ve had two others removed over the years. Both times I walked in, shook hands with the doctor, got a shot of novocaine, cyst removed, couple of stitches, shake hands again, walk out.

I thought it was getting done yesterday, same sort of deal, but in the 15 years since I last had this done things seemed to have changed. A week or so ago I saw my PCP to schedule this. He referred me to this surgeon, they scheduled me for yesterday. I walk in expecting handshake-slice-pop-stitches-handshake. Nope. This was just a meet-and-greet, (for which I will be billed, naturally), and I had my weight taken, blood pressure, pulse, medical history. Then advised I’ll have to be sedated, which I pushed back on but was told the cyst is “too big” and the doctor might have to “really dig into the skull” and then the word “cauterize” was used and then I said, “OK, I’ll take a nap” but still, this seems a bit much.

Today they call to schedule, but not the surgery! Nope, this is for the pre-admission physical the doctor, (who just yesterday took down my weight, blood pressure, pulse, listened to my lungs, and took down my medical history, technically for the second time since I had filled the latter out ahead of that visit anyway) had ordered. AND they’re very booked so I have to drive to a different hospital a half-hour away and they only have two dates and if it’s not too much trouble can I blow off work a second day and cancel some combination of five depositions to do this completely unnecessary thing?

At that point I said no and I’d just cancel the removal entirely, because it’s not like I’m that guy from Mars in ‘Total Recall’ to begin with. So they then call my PCP and his office calls me back and gets me in much earlier to do this completely unnecessary thing, and the long and the short of it is I’m probably just going to have my wife, (who used to be a medical assistant in a dermatology practice), slice into my head and pop it out and then go to the ER for the now-inevitable stitches and probable need for antibiotics not because it’s safer, (because holy shit it is not) but because if I get one more phone call about this today I am going to straight up murder someone.

Thanks Joe Biden!!
Horatio Cornblower

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February 27, 2025 10:05 am
I’ve got to let some politics out for a minute. This is from yesterday’s first cabinet meeting. President Musk is doing a Silicon Valley power move, with a logo t-shirt and ball cap in a meeting full of $3000 suits. Trump is sitting there in the corner of the table, which is where I sit in meetings when I want to be left alone. The members of the cabinet, and the President of the United States have those little name tents. “Donald Trump – President”. The VP is off by the door, probably sitting on a folding chair. Eyeliner is looking good, too.

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Started the most recent season of Shoresy last night, and now the line “came to banging a 9 while surrounded by the bodies of 10s she’d fought to the death for me” lives in my head forever.
Horatio Cornblower

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I dearly want to post several other Hackman scenes that I adore but I’ve got to be up very early tomorrow. Maybe you guys could…?
scotchnaut

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JD Vance is the result of the pain, irritation, and ennui of passing a kidney stone wished to become a real person. A person without a soul, empathy, dignity, and common sense, but a person nonetheless.
WCS

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Hometown Brier starts tonight. Canadian men’s championship curling with a healthy dose of vicious broom tech controversy.
Going to a draw on Tuesday afternoon. Maybe Wednesday, too. Look for the drunk guy in plaid.
BC Dick

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The cabinet has been assembled and are union remains strong.

Also we put it together backwards and therefore can’t get the cabinet doors on. So we looked at it and said “fuck it” put the doors aside and we’ll call a friend of ours who’s a carpenter and have him do it later.
Horatio Cornblower

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After dinner, my wife asked if I could clear the table. I needed a running start, but I made it.
2Pack

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Got a free ticket to the 6:30 draw tonight at the Brier. Only one good matchup but I’ve been drinking all day to prepare for it, regardless.
It’s been a blazing hot 12 degrees and sunny today. No better way to finish off a great Sunday than an evening of high-end curling action.
Hope you’re all having a great day, too.
BC Dick

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March 2
That looks really, really good, will have to try some time. Not today! As this marks the beginning of my 59th trip around the sun. I wonder if hitting 60 next year is an another level set for daily chronic pain.
ArmedandHammered

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This looks phenomenal[ yeah right’s adobo-and-garlic-rice]. My only remark is that in proper Filipino fashion this post needs to be about two hours late.

/Source: My youth orchestra conductor ran rehearsals on Filipino time
Senor Weaselo

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THAT shit right there. That’s one reason I love this jorb. Someone thought her house was being broken into. She was calm, cool, collected, and followed instructions brilliantly. Situation ultimately was fine. It’s great to hear the tension, fear, apprehension in a caller’s voice fade when they realize help is there.

EDIT: Is this how yeah right feels when the right spawn laud his latest ace culinary concoction?
WCS

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Got on the chug cam at the Brier tonight and slammed a beer. They came back at us with the marry Me cam and I kissed my friend on the cheek. He went for the lips though. Got a good cheer from the crowd at least.
BC Dick

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For all the hype and awards for Anora and The Substance there was a marked lack of semen and blood compared to my couch.
Mr. Ayo

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Katherine Hegl advertising for adult diapers is pretty fitting, considering the way she pissed away her career.
Horatio Cornblower

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My wife is officiating at her nephew’s wedding this summer. I am not terribly fond of her family. She met them today to go over details of the wedding. It’s BYOB, and she tells me “it’s an afternoon wedding, and they don’t drink, so they don’t think a lot of people will be drinking.”

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

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