TGIF! And Happy Pi Day! Eat some pie today.
Survival – Personal Edition
Doing some traveling? Here’s some tips to bribe customs officials.
- If you’re being hassled, stay calm and aloof. Determine if there’s an actual problem or the official is just looking for some unofficial compensation.
- Never overtly offer a bribe. For one, the official might now be looking for a bride, and two, that could get you into even more trouble.
- If you’re accused of something, ask to pay a fine on the spot. Explain that you don’t want to deal with mail or go to another location because you’re afraid the payment will go missing, and by paying here you know it’ll go to the correct person.
- Deal with only one official, and make sure it’s the one in charge. If you bribe a junior official the one in charge is going to want a bigger payout.
- Offer to make a donation to the official’s organization. Explain you want to help them out with their expenses.
- Not carrying cash or want to hold onto it? Be prepared to deal some goods instead. Watches, cameras, electronics, even alcohol.
- Remember to not carry more cash than you’re willing to pay. If you peel a few bills off a wad, they’re going to want more. Hide the rest of your cash elsewhere.
And just like that, you’re back on your way!
Click here to get to commenting
Survival – Species Edition
Time to put the sexy in Friday!
Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!
The crowd for the Big West semis…
https://www.wpxi.com/news/local/emergency-crews-respond-motorcycle-crash-scott-township/3QA5IM5PVJAW7PAAJ3ZZIDRFVQ/
First call of the night! Impressed with WPXI for getting this posted. Normally, don’t see incidents until the 07:00 or later news.
Yeesh, stick to cars. They have more (gestures around) metal.
Always fun to get a car-vs-motorcycle accident case and eventually take the deposition of whatever’s left of the motorcycle rider. Or more likely the representative of his or her estate.
This isn’t mine, but beer came out my nose when I read it:
[if Chuck Schumer replaced Liam Neeson in Taken]
CHUCK SCHUMER: [on phone] I don’t know who you are or what you want, but I will find you and I will help you kill my daughter
Amy Schumer needs better cousins.
Which one of you is a UC Irvine Anteater?
They’re on now in the Big West semi-final. Tight game, and I have to believe that they need to win because the NCAA isn’t going to take 2 teams from the Big West because then they can’t take 14 teams from the SEC.
Ahem.
You are correct, we cannot get in without the championship.
But we could make the FUCK YEAH WE’RE NOT HOMOS tourney on Fox.
I shall root for them to win.
Anteater Nation (me and like two other people) thank you!
I know. I noticed the crowd.
I’d like to be in the kitchen with lady number 6 this week Mr Ayo.
Last time I traveled I got into a bit of a hassle with a lady customs officer at the Frankfort airport. My common sense kicked in and I toned it down but she was obviously not charmed by my wit and sarcasm.
Didn’t bother getting past #1 this week. Game was over there and then.
UConn lost to Creighton and one of their players looked to start a fight because Creighton player launched a (pretty sick, if we’re being impartial here) dunk as time expired.
On the one hand, dick move by the Creighton player. On the other hand, maybe don’t take the first half off to the point that you’re 17 points down, and forget to box out down 6 late when Creighton misses the front end of a one-and-one, and mayhap you won’t be in position to get dunked on by someone as time expires. Just a thought that perhaps you should take into your upcoming 8-9 game in the NCAAs.
Unexpected existential crisis mode unlocked:
Lil’ WCS asked me as I was leaving for here if I intentionally hurt her and Lil’er WCS’s feelings with my actions.
Ooof. Right in the soul, kiddo.
Conversely, she was thrilled to discuss her history lessons this past week on Ancient Rome, this guy called “Caesar,” and the Punic Wars.
We also rode their new bikes for the first time in excellent weather.
You’re good man, WCS.
Kind of a shitty 911 operator though. I called because my house is on fire, not to hear about how DK Metcalf is going to help the Steelers.
THE FIRE IS IN THE QUARTERBACK ROOM
Kids know how to do that. But you’re good. I’m an excellent judge of character as my MAGA hat will attest.
For march madness and dems getting dunked on yet again today
I had a shitty day. I was getting in my car to go to Riverside for a few days, got the cat and all my stuff in there- motherfucker wouldn’t start. So, I called AAA. They sent a fucking sleazebag douchenozzle out, who jumped it, claimed he tested the battery and I needed a new one. Then he couldn’t enter my VIN into his system to sell me one of his wildly overpriced ones, so he told me to drive to some random battery place and buy one there. I fired his ass in the driveway, and he took off without even putting the hood back down on my car. I expressed my displeasure like a fucking lady to his employer, and Triple A sent out a new guy. My car started right up when he got there, and he tested the battery. Guess what? There’s not a fucking thing wrong with it, it just needed a jump. SHOCKING!
That’s too bad; I’ve generally had good experiences with AAA, but of course they sub out to local guys, so it’s kinda random.
It also helps if you let them touch you, but maybe you know that already.
Triple A was fine, it was that fucking asswipe from the local towing company who needed to be dickpunched. I’m not putting out for a car battery, I have much higher standards than that. They’d at least have to throw in a tuneup and oil change!
Good for you to telling that first guy to go fuck himself.
Like a lady.
I love this for Alaska
Player for Texas Tech is named Federiko Federiko that was a bold choice by his parents.
Also possible they are bad at forms or just really uncreative
What’s his middle name?
Fred
Ok, this isn’t new, but it’s new to me and it’s hilarious
https://www.vice.com/en/article/jordan-peterson-chinese-dick-sucking-factory/
Reminds me a bit of this:
https://www.mediaite.com/online/federalist-co-founder-sean-davis-threatens-legal-action-after-fake-mommy-milky-tweet-circulates-on-twitter/
Isn’t that the ‘Mommy Milkers’ guy?
God I hate that I know this.
Jordan Peterson is solid proof that you don’t have to be particularly smart to get a PhD.
To get a PhD from a real university you have to be smart in a very specific field. There is tons of evidence that going even slightly outside your lane may result in extreme stupidity
the extended story of getting so high on benzos and getting your daughter to kidnap and put you in a coma in russia to recover is a fun story for his fans too
That is hilarious.
Would have been funnier if he died, if I’m being honest.
I think the most concerning part is that this machinery/porn genre exists…
I’m going to do exactly zero research on this, but I suspect it’s not even in the top ten of concerning porn genres
When you just don’t give a shit about anything…
https://twitter.com/alanisnking/status/1532849688663281666
Replace the fruit punch with powdered kool aid and you’re there
UNC loses because they committed a lane violation on what would have been the tying FT against Duke.
Somewhere an addled hippopotamus spins his tail extra hard.
Belichick telling his girl to compose sternly worded email to staff to make Steve the new basketball coach as well
At the bar for dinner/beer. Once I get home gotta play MOAR CIV 7
Temu is still 🔥
If you guys are looking for a cyber truck fool to mess with…
LoL
That really looks like a PA license plate.
LoL
🚘
Uncanny.
Ted Cruz was rude to my niece today. Her current internship is with a Texas online newspaper. I’m hoping she finds a way to get a dig in at him in her article.
I’d advise against it, he might retailiate somehow. But she can put in as many digs as she wants at his ugly wife; he won’t do a damned thing.
Great post. Got me excited enough to RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!
I wonder if the Kraken ever gets lonely without other Kraken being released?
Isn’t the Kraken an Elemental? There would only be one of them. He’d need to hang around other Elementals.
It’s possible I’ve had a few beers.
…
For Brick:
https://youtu.be/ro6ocAuir8U?si=y5Td5B4ECHaO6VYm
I know all about this place and its entire history, along with the history of LAX from when it was Mines Field in the 1920s through its three major expansions over the years.
Man, been rereading and reading a few newer books I missed by Christopher Moore and I really wish SF was more like it was 30+ years ago
Time to play everyone’s favorite game: How Are The Bengals Gonna Screw This Up?
Not leaving enough cap space to pay more than league minimum for O-linemen seems the obvious choice
This was my choice but you’ve given me something to think about.
Forgetting to make Joe Burrow’s direct deposit, inadvertently making him a free agent.
Oh, or the fax machine thing!
LOVE me some underboob!
Discovered another awesome thing about the butt keychain today, when I check my pockets to make sure I have my keys I can feel the butt shape through my pocket fabric so it speeds things up!
Plus, you’re boosting your butt-touch count every time you do it!
Awesome!
It’s my favorite kind of boob.
I’m not currently loving mine at the moment. I suspect there’s going to be more scalpel action at my next dermatologist appointment. Fuck.
Bummer!
No, titter.