
Good morning once again everyone.
And happy Saint Patrick’s Day Eve to you.

I mean, look at the feckin’ flag!
That’s a proper flag. Not that union jack shite!
Be sure to have a lovely pint or two.
Might be a good idea to have a big breakfast to lay down a drinking foundation.

And remember to “Split the ‘G'” on your first drink of Guinness.
While making sure to catch sunset over the River Liffey.
Or just do what I plan on doing, celebrate on the Saturday or Sunday before the 17th to avoid a Tuesday hangover, because that would fucking SUCK.
Hope everyone is well, fully functional and reasonably happy.
Suppose I should advise you that our recipe today has literally nothing to do with Saint Patrick’s Day. Don’t get me wrong! I’ll be celebrating later today with family and proactively took tomorrow off from work as any forward looking smart motherfucker is supposed to do.
We now resume our feature presentation.
Want to see the easiest recipe you’ll ever see in your life?
Of course you do!
See that banner picture?
There’s your goddamn ingredient list. That and maybe a little salt and some grated cheese if you like.
Look again.
Can you open a can? Cut an onion in half? Cut up 5 tablespoons of butter?
Then make this shit.
If the name Marcella Hazan rings a bell, you’re either a regular long-time reader of Sunday Gravy, or you more likely are familiar with her book “The Classic Italian Cook Book: The Art of Italian Cooking and the Italian Art of Eating.”
If you recall, way back in the long ago – 2019 – I did a request recipe for our very own Scotchy, where I made bolognese.
Stealing from my own post, I wrote: “When doing my research the name of cookbook author and cook, Marcella Hazan kept popping up. Marcella was born in Italy, immigrated to the US, married Victor Hazan and basically taught herself to cook by remembering tastes. She also was a famous cookbook author who wrote “The Classic Italian Cookbook” released in 1973. Many cooks consider her the pioneer of Italian American cooking and many still refer to her as one of the foremost authorities on Italian cuisine.
Her bolognese sauce is considered to be the “gold standard” for a classic bolognese so why the fuck wouldn’t I try my hand at that?”
That recipe in that link is, as the kids say, “A fucking banger” so please give that a go if you’re able.
Inspiration for today, this is yet another recipe from the Slate Magazine 25 Most Important Recipes post. Yes, the same place where I got the idea for the Gochujang Caramel Cookies we did a few weeks back.
Goddamn those are so fucking delicious.
Like I said, I may not get a chance to do all of these recipes in the article but I’m gonna hit more than a few this season for sure.
When I saw the recipe and the 3 ingredient shit I was all “Fuck yes! Easy day in the kitchen.”
Folks, it really does NOT get any easier than this one. Fuck it, I even used store bought pasta and bread because I am freshly out of fucks to give for this easy-ass recipe.
Grab a bottle of vino and get all shitty drunk. Pretend you’re Julia Child in the kitchen or some fucking thing.
Still need the pretty pictures and guidance for a 3 ingredient recipe?
Why the fuck not? I’m already here after all.
Just a heads-up folks, you’re going to see probably more than 1 of these “3 ingredient dishes” coming up in the weeks ahead.
We begin.
Original recipe calls for fresh tomatoes when they are in season, which makes perfect sense, but a can of whole San Marzano tomatoes will do quite nicely.
Tomatoes go into a deep saucepan. Not really enough volume to require the Dutch oven.
Cut the onion in half and peel. Chunk that fucker right in the pot as is. Don’t have to chop it up or nothin’!
Since we’re only using 3-4 ingredients and one of the ingredients is butter, go ahead and get yourself the good shit. The high butter fat shit. Cut it up.
I likes me Kerrygold, Boyo!
Quick aside: We met a guy who works for Kerrygold on our tour bus in Ireland as we headed to the Cliffs of Moher.
The Kerrygold guy was from Chicago and the company flew him to Ireland so he could see how the cows were actually treated. They grazed in open pastures on real Irish grass and were treated like bovine queens. He also mentioned how he got to hold and feed a baby cow on the visit and that dude seemed like he was committed to Kerrygold for life after his trip.
Nice to hear about a real humane company and I have no problem paying a few more Euros for that.
We’ll continue with the recipe now.
Butter goes in the sauce.
Now we’ll add some salt! Maybe a teaspoon.
Breaking a sweat. I know. We’re almost done with the prep, Marathon Man!
Slap a lid on the skillet.
You’re almost to the finish line, man! You can do it!
Now.
Reach out.
See that dial on the stove?
Turn it to the right.
You did it! You’re a goddamn champion. Yes, you!
Now let it cook for an hour, occasionally using a spoon to help crush up the tomatoes. Stir every so often.
This is about halfway through.
Since I’m at the helm today and I just. CAN’T. Do shit the easy way, let’s roast a head of garlic.
Fuck, it was cold in the kitchen when I made this and I needed the ambient warmth.
So, roasted garlic it was.
We are being lazy as fuck today remember?
Let someone else bake the fucking bread.
Tasty selection that.
Oh shit! That’s right! We have to boil water to make pasta.
Make some goddamn pasta already. Penne today.
One last check of the sauce.
That sure looks like the sauce we’ve been making alright!
Saucy.
Next, how about a cool “saucing” technique. It works well with any of the smaller pasta shapes but can be a little trickier with the long strands of pasta.
Grab a bowl and spoon some of the pasta and some of the sauce in there and give it a good toss or a stir.
You’re not one of those “Cook some pasta and just ladle some shit on top without stirring kind of pasta people are you?”
Don’t do that. Be a better goddamn pasta making person. Especially with the penne pasta here. It gets the sauce all up inside them little pasta tubes. That’s the shit I’m talking about.
C’mon. Life is short. Do your pasta right.
Now let’s plate it up.
Oh yeah. Now that it’s cooked, if you want to cheese up this motherfucker then cheese it up!
That shit looks good doesn’t it? And it was 4 ingredients and a little salt.
You’ve earned some sexy, sexy garlic bread action today, Cowboy!
That’s what the roasted garlic was for.
If you think you’ve seen that spinach salad up there quite a bit well, that’s because you have. I love that stuff. It’s nice to add whatever fruit is freshest and in season to the salad to just to vary things up a bit.
While I’m still obviously attached to my own mother sauce, this baby was simple and simply delicious. When that butter incorporates into the tomatoes some goddamn magic happens. It’s really really tasty.
This sauce would be a perfect marinara for say, a batch of meatballs. Oh shit! Use this as the sauce for a meatball sub. It would also be the shit on some chicken parm.
/ distant bell rings in the back of my brain.
This weeks positive holidays courtesy of A Bit of Good News: “March 16: National Archer Day, National Corn Dog Day, National Freedom of Information Day, National Panda Day, National Quilting Day, National Vaccination Day, Black Press Day and Play the Recorder Day.”
You have a new directive. Eat a corn dog and play the recorder. Be sure to report your findings in the comments.
That should do it for today. Appreciate all of you stopping by.
Now if you’ll excuse me I’ve got folks coming over and some cooking to do for a proper Irish get-together.
Be well folks.
Sláinte!
Until next time.
Learned today that the movie Starship Troopers was based on a novel by Robert Heinlein!
Gonna add that to my reading list.
That’s Rockingggg! 📕
I worked the VFX for Starship Troopers the movie. We couldn’t stand staring at Denise Richards mug repeated a thousand times over as we added outer space out the windows behind her (which was all green screens). In retaliation, in some shots we surreptitiously also made her ass fatter and her lips even puffier than they actually were – never overdid it, we were very judicious with the alterations. We were Hollywood VFX artists after all: we know what’s what. Watch the movie with me and I can show you all of it. (And I say “we” because it was a team effort, back when VFX was fun.)
Starship Troopers was saved from being the worst SciFi movie I have ever watched by (i) gratuituous nudity, (ii) Michael Ironsides heroically getting chopped in half by a space bug and dying as a mercy-killed hero (iii) the existence of Battlefield Earth, the absolutely dogshittiest movie I have ever sat through and only did because my buddy would not walk out based on his misplaced optimism it had to get better (it did not).
/Denise Richards did not get nekkid, but I assume Brick’s VFX team made some “artistic nudes” for sharing?
God bless Dizzy.
I also worked on Battlefield Earth, although I only did some kickass spaceship shots with no actors in them. The spaceship shots were included on my showreel (my video “resume”) for years but unlike all the other shots on my reel, I never identified the film the shots were from.
I’ve worked on a lot of movies. They weren’t all Citizen Kane, but their checks were good.
It’s a solid book. Read it in high school.
Duke at #1 in the East region, Fightin’ Blaxes at #4. SWEET SIXTEEN SHOWDOWN!
North Carolina getting in is both no surprise and unforgivable.
Cool, as long as it’s not this Duke.
dont think their fan base is that divergent
Facing Duke in the Sweet Sixteen brought us one of my recent draft picks (one hit wonder players?), Derrick Williams.
If you’re hungry for some Duke getting bounced from the tournament highlights, I’ve cut to the 15-second you can enjoy of ANY team pulling the guillotine.
https://youtu.be/5jMy9zMCUIk?si=1pk_3B9mFW3nI8Js&t=129
This B1G final is like watching paint dry.
Really poor attempt to draw some titties on my Guiness
Keep at it. It takes a lot of dedication to become a good enough artist that you can get turned on by porn you crafted yourself, but it must be pretty special when you get there.
“Drawing Titties on My Guinness” was Marcel Duchamp’s second entry after “Fountain” at the Society of Independent Artists show in 1917.
https://ibb.co/V0SMrvDQ
I’ll say…
looks more like a ghost with those disgusting swaying bags of fat old ladies get on the undersides of their arms
On my red-eye flight from LAX to ATL early Saturday morning I fell asleep, which is rare for me while flying but then I was really doped up but good. I dreamt that I was reaching for a jar of honey roasted peanuts that I keep on my kitchen counter. When I groggily came to I was really looking forward to those peanuts, but then I realized it was all a dream. Then I pushed the call button and the flight attendant brought me the jar of peanuts. Then I realized I had never asked her for them. Then I woke up and realized I had dreamt that part too. Then I pushed the call button and asked for a scotch with a glass of water with no ice please. Then I took another Oxycodone out of my bag of tricks and chewed it up. Then I drank ¾ of the water, poured the mini-scotch (Johnnie Walker Red) into the water glass and drank that. I don’t remember much after that, but I somehow changed planes and rented a car
I got back to Arlington at 12:30 PM, said hi to my 92 year old mom, and slept for 18 hours straight. That’s a no shitter, folks
Pictured: Breakfast at the Delta Sky Club in Atlanta is like eating at a cut-rate Denny’s.
https://ibb.co/WWtL4hJS
This one never gets old…
Aw, so goofy and probably delicious
And so a new nightmare is born. God that green one got murder in his smudgeyes.
Second row left is me pretty much all the time. Unless I’m high as fuck, then it’s bottom row right.
When do you I determine if I need to add half a potato to the sauce?
Use the force, Luke.
when you decide to make Skyline Spaghetti
Upon an identity crisis.
/Wife forced me to watch Kevin Costner’s “Yellowstone”
It takes place in Montana so it’s so obvious and hilarious that some of the “bad guys” mentioned are developers, solar panel salesmen and (gasp!) environmentalists looking to protect a wolf population.
They are bad as they can’t ride horses
However, the Beth character is awesome
Is that the one with the scar on her cheek?
The red head, don’t remember a scar
Yeah, but in the end they give all their land to the Indians after Costner gets shot.*
*Destroys his career and fortune by refusing to do another season and get paid millions ands instead set millions of his own on fire filming a four-part epic history of the American West.
He’s never struck me as the brightest bulb in the chandelier.
Cal State Fullerton guy.
(gets pelted with rotten tomatoes by pretty much everyone in my family and friend group)
I saw the first movie, and while it’s not terrible he’s got so many stories going in so many different directions that you just know it’s never going to end well.
Brunch at my corner bar shouldn’t be too crazy with St Pats stuff right now, right? There was a lot yesterday so I’m guessing lots of hangovers today
Oh yeah, it’s snowing so it’s not busy lol
Simple works so well. And is go to after a long days work when you really don’t want to fool around in the kitchen.
Saw this the other day and thought you should see it, it’s where everyone in Europe thinks has the hottest men
It’s similar to a survey they did in 1914 asking “which country would you prefer to fight in a war?”
France, duh
I demand a recount!
-half of Cyprus
Interesting. I would have thought the Scandinavian men would have done better.
I don’t need to see one on women, I already know that.
British dentistry really showing its effect here.
I had a great dream last night where I was eating a fancy dinner at a hockey game, and was drinking some sort of creme de violette cocktail with dry vermouth made by the marine biologist bartenders. Kinda seems like something that could almost actually happen!
[Wes Anderson furiously scribbles on notepad]
Sharkbait writes in crayon on a coaster looking over Wes’ shoulder for ideas for next week’s cocktail
I just watched ‘The French Dispatch’ the other night. it’s really good, but Anderson’s acid budget must be off the charts.
You don’t have to chop the onion?!
This is the recipe for me, because I am lazy as all hell about chopping stuff!
And love the Kerrygold guy story. That is one of the few butters I will buy. I am a butter snob (also an olive oil snob).
The crazy thing about most fats, especially animal products, the ones that taste better are actually better for you as well. It’s the best argument against factory farming and it makes total sense that healthier animals make tastier and healthier food!
I heard in passing once on like NPR that Americans don’t know good olive oil because all our stuff is basically rancid on the shelf.
Please enlighten. I’ve asked YR to cover olive oils many times but he continues to unreasonably try to ignore me.
was just watching some olive oil roundup on youtube yesterday that ranked some higher end of the Trade Joe’s one pretty high. Otherwise think probably a good italian market
I get a lot of mine from Zingermans (they do mail order), and also I get local ones since a lot of vineyards also grow olives. The key is to look for a bottling/harvest date. If not that, single source is usually still good since it won’t be mixed with other oils of a different age.
Color, taste, and mouthfeel will vary with a lot of factors, but it should always have at least a hint of green and smell fresh and grassy.
Store in a cool, dark place, and avoid clear bottles that let in a lot of light, just like wine.
I usually look for “Product of Italy” and “Single press” but yeah. Product of Italy mostly.
I had some dynamite olive oil in Portugal, it had a little spice kick and was perfect on antipasto.
The olive oil industry is controlled to this day by the Mafia. A lot of those labels are meaningless. That’s why Mario Puzo used it as Vito Corleone’s cover business.
The mob is also heavily invested in the desktop printer ink cartridge business.
Tell me about it-they’re also involved in the fantasy football industry. I drafted Clinton Portis in his rookie year and had to give 30% of his points after week 5 to some dude called Luigi!
Finally, a break for the Whites!!
No Great Replacement today!
I love a simple pasta sauce! Don’t get me wrong, I love a complicated one too, but sometimes you just want some red sauce on yer sketti!
GO BLAZERS!!!
Memphis will roll over today and send you guys into the tourny.
Hey I was there too!
Yes please!
I bet Aaron Rogers would love for a pre-game meal to include this before running out to lead the 2025 Minnesota Vikings.
heh, poor yr is about to re-live Hippo’s Tebow Gas Leak Season
Once QArron gets Kevin O’Connell fired, they can bring back Mike Tice.
If Litre’s men are to truly Make Europe White Again, they need all 3 points today.
“I am capable of presenting an up-to-3 Point Plan.”
-Jason Pierre-Paul
Great post, I’m going to give this one a shot.
“I am capable of presenting a single shot up-to-three times.”
-Jason Pierre-Paul
Me too. I have a few meatballs that I was trying to figure out what to do with, so this is perfect timing.
This one gets color-printed and saved. Absolutely gorgeous, and every word a balm for the soul. I am Irish. I am a Kerryman. I use that product and am thrilled to hear that account of their company’s practices. And that particular recipe means so much more than food to a family. The smell of sauce hitting you first thing when you walk in the door after a day away really socks it home that you’re back in the better place again, especially for the kiddos. You don’t even know what’s for dinner yet! Could be any of half a dozen things, but they’re all good. Smells make memories, too. Thanks for this, brother!
There was a Hammers supporter in s2 of The White Lotus! Shout out!!
Did someone say hammer?
do y’all think teh carpet matches teh drapes???
Ewwww.
The family is from Limerick, right near the river Shannon.
And thank you for the kind words.
There once was a family from Limerick…
Mine is from County Armaugh.
Agree about the smells part of cooking, that sense of anticipation really builds nicely like foreplay for dinner.