Guten Tag, drones.
Today’s topic is brought to you courtesy of s discussion is yesterday’s AM/PM open thread, after Ovi broke Gretzky’s once “unbreakable” career-goal scoring mark.
Side-note, fuck Gretzky and his MAGA ass. Canada should revoke his citizenship.
Anyway, Ovechkin now taking the record back to the Russian Motherland inspired a conversation about what other records were likely to never be broken.
Surprisingly Bunny Blue did not come up. Don’t google that at work, in the unlikely event that your are a regular here and don’t know what I’m talking about.
After a few suggestions RTD said, “this could be a mock draft topic” and I read that and thought, “well, it beats doing any work myself” and then said
twice, for some reason, and here we are.
The rules are any athletic accomplishment, (game, season, career), you think no one else will ever break. ‘Athletics’ are to be defined very broadly, mostly for entertainment purposes and also to give Balls something to do.
With the first pick I will go a little off the beaten path, (mostly to avoid the suggestions from yesterday’s thread, which to be clear remain eligible), and say that no one will ever pitch two consecutive no-hitters like Johnny Vander Meer did back in 1938.
So the “most no-hitters-in-a-row” record will stand forever. Especially with pitch counts, specialized relief pitchers, livelier balls, torpedo bats, video availability, and trash cans in the Astros dugouts.
The rest of you are on the clock
I’m gonna call attention to a baseball game tomorrow, where Yeshiva University and Lehman College are set to play a doubleheader.
Lehman has lost 42 games in a row. Yeshiva, on the other hand, has lost 99 in a row.
Not gonna lie, this “Snip The Tip” Showdown has me rigid.
Why do they even bother?
Jim Boeheim picked his nose for 47(!) consecutive years as a basketball coach. No one comes close.
I’m stunned that Horatio hasn’t stampeded over every other commenter to +1 this first.
“I was in court. My mother had a heart attack. I had to walk the dog. The wife was feeling randy. Randy was feeling my wife. There was a Paige Buckets get-together several hours away. The Cows. OMG, the cows in the driveway. You have no idea!”
-Horatio, probably
I was at the gym.
I think there is something going on up at the campus for the women. They were due back at 5 and likely scheduled to meet a mob of fans, whether they wanted to or whether they just wanted to get back to their dorms, (apartments/houses, who am I kidding?), and sleep for 18 hours.
Suffice to say I am staying on this side of campus.
As per the court order
Darryl Sittler’s 10 point night is out of reach-if Gretzky couldn’t break it, no one will. A bunch of players have gotten to 8, the most recent one being Sam Gagner back in 2012.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_chrhoyq5M&ab_channel=SPORTSNET
Trinity College, a D-III school that literally sits behind fortified walls in one of the worst sections of Hartford, went 252-0 in squash from 1998-2012, something that I’m sue fascinated the locals.
And which I’d be stunned if anyone ever bested.
I’ll go with Bill Russell’s 11 NBA championships, especially since he did it in 13 seasons all with the same team.
No one denies this!
And was hated by his neighbors in the upscale Boston suburb he called home the entire time. Fuck that city forever.
Just cause he said “Boston itself was a flea market of racism”. I’m sure things have changed, right right
I can’t imagine anyone even wanting to break this one. If this lady had been around during the Toronto Stork Derby she would have run away with it
Couldn’t she have had one more baby? smh…
She did it just for you, buddy!
Doing the math, that’s 27 years assuming she got pregnant, gave birth, waited three months, and then got pregnant again.
Let’s say she started at 15. It is Russia, after all. That means she gave birth to her last child at the age of 42.
Damn.
Of course, the million dollar question is: One Father?
That would be truly unbreakable
Antonio Cromartie.
.
This is so awesome.
That woman was “on the job.”
Fertile Myrtle, they calls her. You’d think after 20 or so they would have started falling out.
I don’t know why I ask stupid questions of my wife like “do you think we’re ever going to use [thing X that has been sitting on a garage shelf for the last fifteen years gathering dust and has not been touched even once during that time]. Of course the answer is going to be “yes”.
My second round. Juventas has 36 Series A championships. Second is Inter with 20 and the way things go around here I think that record is safe and will grow.
I think Mario Lemieux’s Quebec Major Junior Hockey League scoring record might be safe. He put up 286 points in 70 games. The closest anyone has come in the last 25 years came up 96 points short.
4. Devin Hester’s record of 20 return touchdowns (INT, punts, and kickoffs).
Hard agree. You’d have to do almost all of it on punt returns now and that ain’t happening.
John Tavares has 815 regular season lacrosse goals. Next closest player is retired, John Grant Jr, with 668. Closest active player is Ryan Benesh with 575 goals.
This is more impressive as a record as for the first 10 or seasons for Tavares, there were 12 games in the regular seaso, not the 16 that Grant played with nor the 18 that is the current number of games.
But how does that affect the Leafs cup chances?
In case you didn’t know the lacrosse John Tavares is the uncle to the Leaf’s (hockey) John Tavares. So, they can use some of the uncles goal scoring.
I actually didn’t know that! But it doesn’t surprise me.
Pfft. Lacrosse. What’s next, Quidditch records?
This is more of an untouchable accomplishment but Steve Carlton played on a dreadful Phillies team in 1972 and was so good (27-10) that he accounted for 46% of their total wins (59). In six of his losses his team scored 0 or 1 runs for him.
Redshirt: 2: Number of Times Locked Keys in Car in Four Hour Period AND Number of Times Car Unlocked by Same Police Officer in Four Hour Period
I’ve locked my keys in the car with the engine running. You used to be able to do that way back when.
Done that.
I got two flat tires about twenty minutes apart one shittay day.
Most hallucinogens during a no hitter. I doubt we’ll even see an ATTEMPT to break that one
Does failing to complete a single pass (to a teammate) count as a no-hitter? Asking for a…well, not really a “friend” so to speak. More of a “shaman”.
Sourry to be the bearer of bad news, but Clem Burke passed. Here’s him beating the drums into submission. Oh and the lead singer was pretty cool as well. (She’s thankfully still with us)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TU3-lS_Gryk&ab_channel=BlondieVEVO
Ah, shit.
Although, to be faaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrr, I had assumed Clem never made it out of the 80’s anyway, so good on him.
At least his legacy will be carried on by his son, Fandango.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NIkFTP12cU
Bob Gibson’s 1.12 ERA for the 1968 season will never be beaten, (assuming MLB doesn’t somehow decide to return to the pre-1920’s Dead Ball Era, which let’s not rule out since Rob Manfred hates baseball), and in fact was only beaten twice before 1910, when I’m pretty sure they used baseballs made out of rags.
Hell, they lowered the mound after 1968 to make it sure it didn’t happen again.
Super Bowl shuffle being only sports song to get nominated for a Grammy.
.
https://youtu.be/lUQLEUa0_aY?feature=shared
I mean, that’s probably already been nominated for an AVN.
An absolutely egregious oversight.
It is objectively a *much* better song.
lol Bears fans giving you a minus because they can’t do anything about their shitty team
I wish teams still made music videos, they’re all instaclassics
Sam Crawford’s 309 career triples. Next on the list is Ty Cobb with 295, and the current active leader is at 55.
3. I mean come on.
(Michael Phelps’ 23 gold medals)
Meh, Summer MacIntosh will get there-she’s got 3 gold already and she’s just 18.
She’s a star, but nine of Phelps’ Olympic gold medals are in 100m events (six in relays and three individuals). If she’s not winning those, she’s not catching him. And she hasn’t won any yet, not even at the World Championship level.
Not to mention that by age 19, Phelps already had six Olympic golds.
She’s been pulled from those events by her coach-that should change.
Almost half of those are relays, it’s a lot closer if you look at just individual golds, though he still has a 5 medal lead over Katie Ledecky (13-8)
I love that this draft has degenerated into a spat about gold medals in swimming.
In 1920, the Akron Pros allowed 7 points all season (11 games).
That’s probably gonna stay a while, at least until the NFL decides to play 25 one-game seasons per year.
Alright. I know you’ve been waiting for this…
Apparently, the record is 2000 now?
https://web.archive.org/web/20190321145602/http://ainews.com/Archives/Story35.phtml
And a reminder that Howard Stern is hilarious:
https://avn.com/news/video/howard-stern-s-gangbang-summit-39741
“An event as big as the warehouse it was held in….”
That says it all right there.
Chris Henry’s truck surfing record.
1?
0-1
FTFY
We could just do Cy Young, so since CGs are off the board I’ll take his loss record.
16 pitchers have more wins than his 316 losses.
https://postimg.cc/jDqY9Kwr
Okay since when does postimage not work for me?
needs to have a “jpg” or “tif” extension ( or something image-y)
Like so:
yep and needs to start with “https”
2. It was already pretty unbreakable, but with the new suspension rules there is zero chance anybody is breaking Rasheed Wallace’s record of 41 technical fouls in the 2000-2001 season.
Both teams played hard.
https://youtu.be/-yXiWZyJL90?feature=shared
62 saves in a season by Francisco Rodriguez (K-Rod )for the Angels in 2008. Also a dumb nickname.
With runner on second, there isn’t going to be any more 26-inning MLB ballgames.
I would say that’s a good thing.
Not me.
I’ll wager that D3 Kenyon College’s 31(!) consecutive championships in Men’s Swimming and Diving from 1979-2010 will never be matched.
.
I draft Hue Jackson at 3-36-1, the worst winning percentage for a coach over a 40 game span.
You’d think when he got to the end of his 0-16 season, hitting an aggregate record of 1-31, his time would have been done. But no!
Everyone’s favorite welfare cheat threw 336 INT’s over his career. With today’s focus on analytics and the importance of ball possession, a player like that wouldn’t be able to put in the games to get there.
/Favre has 59 more than the next guy
Shouldn’t it be 337 after Jenn Sterger intercepted and returned his dick pics?
Rocky Marciano retiring undefeated (49-0) as a boxer.
Don’t come at me with Floyd Mayweather either. You pad your total w bullshit fights with MMA rules, a money-grab, (the money-grab part I’m totally OK with: you make your living getting punched int he face you grab that bag whenever you can), and a draw with Logan Paul you’re no longer in this conversation.
1. Largest margin of victory in an NFL game of 73 points, in the 1940 NFL Championship. Finals score Bears 73, Washington 0. Anybody that gets even remotely close to that will just kneel it out for the entire fourth quarter.
Damn it.
I guess I can still say, most points scored against the redacteds, because the redacteds are no more.
I mean, Jags beat the Dolphins 62-7, right? I think this record could go down in a tanking year.
And the 1966 game where it was WAS over NYG 72-41 has a good chance of holding up as most total points scored although a few games have gotten close
Len Bias – Number of professional games played while an active professional player.
He was drafted so I say he was part of the team. Come at me if you don’t agree, feeling meaner than an enraged honey badger.
I feel like the issue in giving Bias the record is that there are probably countless players who got drafted without playing a single game.
It’s kind of neat that between Len Bias and Reggie Lewis the Celtics obviously were hit with some kind of gypsy curse but powered through it and won titles anyways.
Pete Rose’s Career MLB Hits. No one is more durable, consistent and selfish enough to last that long.
Pete’s ghost will lay you 8:1 odds he keeps his record forever.
Noel Gugliemi
For times playing a character named hector
I’m not sure I can stretch the definition of “athletic” quite that far, but you do you.
Hey, Blax, we going to see you on here one day?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBALW_AwB5M
I stay away from Oahu. Too crowded with the tourists.
/Takes a sip of mai tai from my copita
We could joke about number of felonies committed and casinos bankrupted and still getting elected president, but no need to temp fate.
It’s National Beer Day, so I guess ‘drinking on the weekend’ gets extended a day. It would be heresy not to.
Although it seems to me it’s some kind of ‘National Beer Day’ about 7 times a year.
How many nations are there? 8? 9?
Seems legit to me.
Team USA 2959 all time Olympic medals (more than 1000 more than second place Russia / USSR).
Brodeur’s shutout record of 125 won’t be broken. The NHL will never return to that boring, soul-less trapping style that the Devils employed for years and years.
Wilt Chamberlain’s 100 point game won’t be broken anytime soon
Literally at the same timestamp.
Ted Williams batting .400. Also a lot of those records should have an asterisks since they didn’t let black players in MLB.
Just reduce each record by 3/5, it’ll be fine.
Lucinda Prior Palmer Green has a record 6 wins at Badminton Horse Trials with the 6th win in 1984. Not going to be matched any time soon
deep cut
I don’t think anyone is breaking Brady’s TD record .
When all defensive contact is outlawed and touchbacks give the offense the ball at midfield, you’ll change your mind. Or it’s all flag football, either way someone is breaking that record.
I think we’re done with a lot of baseball records. Cal Ripken’s ironman record of 2,632 consecutive games, for example. Players and teams take rest more seriously now and I think we’re all fucking our bodies up so much that injuries are just inevitable.
Cal Ripken was the first one that popped into my head as well. I was at one of the games when he was about 10 out or so from the record and it was pretty neat
Also very few players have their Daddy as manager and don’t get pulled out of the line-up and sat for a few games, even when doing so very clearly would have helped the team and Cal.
Lakers 33 game win streak in 1971-72. Especially now because the big stars get rest days on back to backs.
In a similar vein, no one will break the complete games record held by Cy Young.
Hell, no one from the modern era will come within half of it.
Hell, no one will come close to Tom Seaver and he’s #100 on the list!