Monday Morning Mock Draft: On Second Thought

Guten Tag drones.

Last week, in an effort to soothe your football-loving souls, we drafted linebackers.  At the conclusion of said draft our own jet flyin’ malort sippin’ world travelin’ volcano lair havin’ Dok Zymm asked if we could draft secondary players this week so she could take Sean Taylor.

And so we are.

Why? you ask.  Go read the part about her having a secret volcano lair and then ask yourself if you want to piss her off by denying a simple request that was going to happen next week anyway.  This week we were going to draft defensive linemen, and now that you know that I bet you can guess next week’s draft.

Rules are simple, but you simpletons will undoubtedly screw them up and/or ignore them, so I don’t know why I even bother.  If your father ever gets home with those cigarettes you are in big, big trouble.  If they played in the NFL, at either safety or cornerback, you may draft them.  I thought about doing drafts of safeties and cornerback separately, thereby stealing an extra week’s topic, but decided there really wasn’t enough good depth to justify two drafts.

If someone has played safety and cornerback you can only draft them once, not twice, once for each position.  Not sure anyone notable has ever done that and I’m not going to look it up, but just know that you can only draft each player one time.

Zymm gets the first pick, (again, she has a volcano and you don’t) and with it take the aforementioned Sean Taylor, seen above in the featured image.

With the second pick I’ll take Neon Deion Sanders.

Guy’s a fraud as a head coach, had some issues with his charter school, and I’m not sure he ever tackled anyone one-on-one, but by God that man could play some shut down corner, run back an interception for a TD, and as a bonus will get you some pretty good kick returning.

He also played baseball and dumped water on Tim McCarver,

which honestly more people should have done.  McCarver put the ‘pompous’ in ‘pompous prick.’

The rest of you are on the clock.