Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks tl;dr of last week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.

This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
How many more must I give [in bed]?”
Lorne

As long as you are both #upforwhatever, as many as you want.

Totes mailing it in, busy weekend and this usually posts over an hour ago, so GTD is going to stop typing and start publising.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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“Well, I’m the best corner in the game! When you try me with a sorry receiver like Crabtree, that’s the result you gonna get! Don’t you EVER talk about me!”

Brocky

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Found a funny:

I don’t have pep in my step I have dread in my tread, a grudge in my trudge, woe in my go
rockingdog

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Here’s a gift I received this weekend.

It’s a butt cheeks keychain with custom craftsman applied thong tan lines. I have a specific application reserved for this important artifact; not as a key holder but as a zipper pull on one of my camera bags. Crucial compartments receive special zipper pulls.

h/t to Balls

Brick Meathook

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My wife says I can be an idiot sometimes.

Pretty cool of her to give me permission like that.
2Pack

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You gotta love Midwest Summer Sunsets.

Redshirt

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Wife just told me we need a new vacuum. It reminded me of this dumb joke.

What’s the difference between a vacuum and a wife? After 10 years your vacuum will still suck.
Jimbo

/somewhere, Rikki feels sad and anxious, but isn’t sure why
WCS

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I’m not going to ask which one of you this was

Unsurprised

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Tomatoes, eggplant, peppers, basil, rosemary, chives and parsley all now officially in. The reno impacted, reduced garden is doing surprisingly well given that I’ve devoted very little time to it this year. My lesson learned for the future is to let it be… lighten up a bit and just let Ma Nature do most of the heavy lifting.
2Pack

Honestly I get so much more production out of my very limited garden the more I stay out of the way. Dump some water on it 2-3 times a week, pull a few weeds, call it enough.

Horatio Cornblower

THIS GUY HORATIO CORNBLOWER I CALL HIM THE CINCINNATI BENGALS OFFENSIVE LINE BECAUSE HE MAKES A POINT OF STAYING OUT OF THE WAY.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Little update from a couple nights ago: Pops LaCross got through his ostomy surgery today and seems to be doing okay. I’ve been a mess all day. As rough a shape as he was in this morning, the thought crossed my mind that he might not make it. But he did. Now, hopefully we can get him on the mend so he can take treatment again. The noises coming from his bag however are forever etched into my brain. Can a sound make you vomit? Also, those nurses and techs helping take care of him have got some kind of medal of honor coming their way. He’s a handful.

Bonus update: My 102 year old Grandpa LaCross got the all-clear to go home from the rehab in a couple days. He’s gotta actually use his walker from now on to walk instead of just carrying it around and hanging garden tools from it.
Col. Duke LaCross

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I freely admit I’m a nerd. I like internet of things and connected/automated devices.

I also work in IT, and hate how much info these things report back to their respective motherships. Because of that, I’ve now fallen down the open source Home Assistant rabbithole.
Sharkbait

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West coasters stay safe! 8.7 or 8.8 earthquake in Kamchatka.
ArmedandHammered

I’m too far inland, but I’ve put on my swimming trunks just in case.

Mr. Ayo

Yeah, I removed all pants. Can’t be too careful.
SonOfSpam

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Don T

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Brick Meathook

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Ciao tutti

2Pack

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[eagerly looks forward to the chapter that includes Tiki solving his fumbling issues and goes on to record a 2,300 combined scrimmage yards season]
-Anon, N. Ontario
scotchnaut

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According to news below, Dunstan has finally checked in!
scotchnaut

You’ve been waiting 29 years for this. Happy for you!

SonOfSpam

I’m not gonna lie-it was a long haul on the Sploitation journey


Dunstan Does Emmanuelle, 9 1/2 Weeks of Dunstan, The Opening of Misty Dunstan, DeepDunstan, Busty Dunstan and the Three Bears, Teenage Dunstan and the Curious Professor, Nude Biker Dunstan, Dunstan’s Paula Deen Adventure, Chainsaw Dunstan’s Sweaty Fastball, How To Undress In Front of Dunstan, Shaving Dunstan, High School Memories of Dunstan’s Anal Proclivities, Dunstan and the Infinite Double DD Bra.*


*I could go on
scotchnaut

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Well, I’ve done it. After over two decades in my current Fortress of Bachelortude, I’m going to be moving to a new place with my girlfriend.
Dunstan

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The upside of the Dr. Mrs.’ flight being delayed by like four hours is that it gives me extra time to shoo away all the blackjack and hookers.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You told me she liked hookers!


Oh, wait, no, I guess you said “Hoovers.”
Dunstan

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Happy goddamn football everyone! I’ll be doing homework all night, and I might only be drinking fizzy water, but holy crap does this feel nice. I’m not even annoyed with Colinsworth…oh, wait. Yes I am.
Fronkenshteen

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I’ve got under a week left in the Aloha State. Best thing of the trip, I didn’t have to be around as new orders have tanked.

We’re in construction. We all know the cycle. Yet, if Blax is not GONE COMPLETELY, everyone feels there is a need to panic and panic to me before just going through the routines. Lay off here. Cut the guys there. Take care of our core people. Batten down the hatches.

In all, I’m pretty happy how everyone performed without me present. I’m sure everyone will agree, when I return, that I should be gone more often.

But its also easy when there is no work. And there is no work. And there will be little work in near-future AND there’s not really a plan for it to ever turnaround so I guess it’s time to get to retiring before Yeah Right.

blaxabbath

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So an analyst adjusted the unemployment rate upwards and Trump calls BS and fires the analyst, thus adjusting the unemployment rate upwards.
Brick Meathook

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Found a funny:

The person who invented the video game joystick has disappeared, they down right up and left.
rockingdog

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One simple task, going to the grocery store, turned into the quest for the Holy Grail.
Jesus, that was a stupid outing.

I came home with the grail though!
yeah right

THIS GUY YEAH RIGHT I CALL THIS GUY PAM BONDI BECAUSE HE COMMITTED HIMSELF TO FINDING SOMETHING THAT DOESN’T EXIST THEN WASTES A BUNCH OF STUPID TIME BUT FINALLY MADE IT HOME SUCCESSFULLY WITHOUT PRODUCING THE EPSTEIN RECORDS THAT FURTHER-SHOW DONALD TRUMP RAPES KIDS BUT HE IS STILL LACKING A RECEPTICAL FOR COLLECTING JESUS CHRISTS’S BLOOD WHEN HE RETURNS AND THUS MUST BE KILLED TO PROPOGATE THE LIE THAT SOME CHILD RAPIST DEADBEAT IS ACTUALLY THE TRUE SAVIOR SENT BY GOD.
blaxabbath

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Long weekend. What to do, what to do.

Take Deci to a brewery where I can imbibe beers and he can pet dogs while drinking soda? Great idea litre! That’s good parenting.
litre_cola

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Embarrassing confession time.

~ 15 years ago 2Pack – Cara do we have any cream around for chaffing? (summer runs were causing swamp azz chaffing)
Wifey – Here try some of this (Italian stuff and who reads lables anyways)
A few days later 2Pack – thanks Babe that worked like a charm!
This week 2 Pack is running a bit bowlegged again in this heat – honey do you still have any of that stuff?
Wifey – No but I ordered some from the farmacia, you can pick it up after work tomorrow,here’s the reciept.
2Pack – picks it up, (the nice lady was showing generous cleavage too) reads the package this time… (words to the effect of) ” chick vaginal chaffing cream…”

Note: Its nice to be at the age where you could care less… as long as it works…
2Pack

Yeah, there’s just no way to put a positive spin on purchasing that product. Even if you tried the whole “my wife is sore because we’ve been having so much sex” angle the cashier would probably just say “it’s an honor to meet you Mr. Shapiro, my unmarried brother who still lives with our parents really loves your show.”
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Rainy weekend, so I started a pot roast overnight. Huzzah.

On the other hand…ESPN acquiring RedZone Channel scares me to my existential core. If it gets ruined (and how could ESPN resist ruining it?), that will be the end of Instant Hippo Thoughts. But at least it won’t get approved for the 2025 season.
King Hippo

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I was off last night. Lil’ and Lil’er WCS had sushi, pizza, and watched some movies. We were asleep by 23:00. Today, we’re either going to visit princess and Duke WCS, or go to the church carnival down the street.

This is stuff I was missing for most of July. Folks, I guess I really do love them all.

DAD MOMENT ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED
WCS

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If you read the earlier thread. I did achieve ultimate dadness. I bought Deci a new (used) bike from a place that refurbishes them etc which gave Mrs. Cola a 2 hour break from us knuckleheads. Then brought the fam back to the bike shoppe where Deci donated his old one for another kid as that is what this place does. After that got fried chicken, a Banh Mi, and went to a brewery and sat in the sun drinking beer for 4 hours with a good friend.

Plus it’s a long weekend so today doesn’t count.
litre_cola

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My wife and I have sat outside on the porch all day reading. It has been glorious.
ArmedandHammered

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Brick Meathook

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I need to find a place near me where I can buy a good slice of tres leches cake but I also don’t need to do that because I would rapidly destroy my health through excessive fat and sugar consumption.

Doing it myself it clearly not an option as this looked like a lot of work and that’s with only one leche!
Doktor Zymm

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Found a funny:

If you put the DOGE guys on a desert island where the only way out was to say the magic words “I’m not sure what the answer is, let me consult someone who has worked on this problem for a long time” they would all starve to death
rockingdog

When do we start?
Horatio Cornblower

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litre_cola

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

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