Let’s keep it rolling.
To The Games!
Niners/Seahawks:
The NFC West isn’t fooling around-right out of the gate we get an important game for both teams. One last huzzah! to Sam Darnold for rescuing his career from ignominy and also getting a much bigger pay cheque than anyone would have imagined.
Titans/Broncos:
C’mon, popular Survivor pick! Cam Ward has to be the least-discussed overall #1 draft pick in recent memory-and that’s probably a good thing with respect to his development. I predict he’ll be the difference-maker in a few tilts later on this year. [the taste of Will Levis slowly dissipates in Don T’s mouth]
Lions/Packers:
Here’s your late slate banger! Goff has slowly shed his “can’t play outside on the road” reputation but if he falls flat here it’ll come roaring back with a vengeance. Green Bay is curious to me in that they seem to be more than capable of getting to the second round of the playoffs but beyond that I can’t see it.
Texans/Rams:
Stafford is good to go? Those back owies tend to nag though. [looks quickly at depth chart] We’ll be seeing some Jimmy G at some point I’m sure. Speaking of the position, is this year’s Stroud going to be more like that rookie that took the league by storm/surprise or the soph that regressed a bit? I think he’s too talented and that he’ll bounce back.
Enjoy the games everyone.
There’s always some reassurance in seeing that my fantasy team is going to lose not because of my poor coaching decisions, but because they’re just the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked. In other words, they’re losing because of my poor drafting decisions.
#MeToo
That was a rough night.
Things to do With a Dead Kelce:
Christ i hate these peopl
TEN 9 – 10 DEN at halftime. AFTER a major Tit fuckup. Worth a cig 🔥
You deserve it
Inshallah
derp off in tits/donks these last few minutes
The meltdowns in this bar are so fucking entertaining. Glad Dok’s, Lawrence’s and my teams aren’t playing so we can take it all in.
Did Callahan think Denver had 3 timeouts, or is he just the stupidest motherfucker on the planet? He takes three knees and it’s HT at 6-3, Tits,
What a maroon
only cost him net 4 points, thanks to Donks kickoff coverage, though
Let’s get real-the gulf between the talent of the Packers and the Lions is even larger than The Gulf of America.
TENNESSEE LEMME TELL YA I CALL THEM A BACHELORETTE PARTY BECAUSE THE TITS ARE NOT BEHAVING THESE LAST FEW MINUTES
Yeah, I’m not drinking today
best friend shows up
Yeah, not enough beer in the world right now
Also, I agreed to wake up at 5 am to drive my wife and son to the airport.
LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOOO!
Isiah Likely out with a foot? Isn’t that how we started last year?
Fuck your ads, fuck your Mercedes, NFL
Counting down tot hose xmas commercials where they put a ribbon on a new mercedes for their spouse. seriously? go eat a plate of hot flaming shit
I have hated clowns since birth. Then our friend, who was a promoter of circuses, said, “Most of the clowns in my dealings have been violent, aggresive homosexuals.” Now, I got now problem with gays, but when he told me he had been pinned against a wall by three “very aggressive” clowns, I knew that i was right.
No longer Doink!-less in Seattle
Is that a donkey punch?
That’s what I was trying to imply
Found a funny:
[playing poker]
FRIEND: I’m all in
ME: [yearning for this type of commitment since we first met] me too, man, I’m all in too
FRIEND: um, a pair of kings
ME: you bet we are
PRAISE SHAN’KLOR!
DOINK!
Eat shit SF!
Me right now.
The real Liouns are back!
How goddamn irritating is green bay?
WE DRIVE BIKES TO PRACTICE
FROZEN TUNDRA
LOMBARDI
OUR FANS OWN THE TEAM!
CHEESEHADS
They can all go die in a fucking checmical plant explosion
I hate them so fucking much. I’d crawl across a parking lot covered in broken glass, salt and lemon juice just for the chance to feed them into a wood chipper.
Rivets are holding very well so far in the Titan-ic
AFC South 2-0 and currently leading both afternoon slate games
I refuse to cheer for divisions.
/also applies to politics!
Tits bouncing all over the Donks.
My lord and my God
CMC = Crush My Calf
The Donks fan in this bar is hilariously yelling. “I got 17 weeks of this shit coming. What the fuck????”
Denver Mating Call
Romo: “It’s super rare to win with multiple franchises.”
You never won with one my guy.
Puka out (Tears of Blood)
Only one Late Afternoon game in Week 1? Screw you, too, NFL!
Pumpkin SpiceEvergreen comment.-18-30 yr old women, every year about this time
I can make meme gifs again. Ho-Ho-Ho
Feel like trash but have a litre of beer in front of me at a German pub in Koreatown with Zymm. I am sure the beer will help…
Another update – The guy in front of us is using binoculars to not watch the game and I REALLY want to ask how close he’s allowed near schools.
At least it’s not a camera?!?!
At least he’s using two hands?!?!
Jesus, Redshirt
Oh this is very good Redshirt.
Maybe he’s an FBI informant trying to get inside some <insert criminal activity> gang in order to bring them down?
The Feds are coming …
“Whoa! Is that Chris Hanson?”
What a motherfucker. Dang those handsy players.
Further update – that was an uncatchable ball, but it was a makeup call for the roughing the passer.
Hunter Renfrow is a Panther now? When did that happen?
BoBo Nix returning to pumpkin status
also, has red butt
Angstrom-vision VAR again!
/kicks coffee table mentally from coich
Karma pays it back with a Nix Pickerception
It balloned a bit, king laserface style
Update from Seattle – I’m five beers in, and Sam Darnold looks like white Geno Smith. As long as he hands the ball off four out of five times he’ll be okay.
I intentionally got drunk as fuck when I was hanging out with you guys and I felt bad about it for over a month. Not saying, but mostly just wanted to get that off my chest.
S’all good
TEN punt inside the DEN 10. What a luxury, this competence.
So far!
thank fuck I ain’t #ShameBet with DonT, his Tits are mighty frisky in our thin air.
No gambling. Still having conscience pangs* from buying a pack of red ‘boros yesterday.
* soothing tar gullet burnings 😋
Houston is going the wrong way.
Evergreen
They shouldn’t have signed The John Candy Agreement, smh…
SHANKLOR BE PRAISED!
A lot of kickers need to up their sacrifices to SHANK’HLOR, she is not appeased in the least.
A rather sonorous DOINK! in Atlanta.
If I could give you any advice going forward in Trumpland, don’t use big words-no matter your status, you’ll be subject to deportation.
Daboll and Kafka, both offensive geniuses, put all of 6 points on the board today.
Woo Mayfield is superfly!
Megatron’s Butthole is puckered right now.
RippT K rips kick. Worth a cig 🔥
Goddammit fucking angstrom-vision VAR.
Cmon PJ Harvey’s kid brother!
I just wanna say that I’ve paced myself, nevertheless hid all keys. Death to pants.