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Your Monday Night Doubleheader Open Thread

scotchnaut

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I don’t mind this at all in theory. (will not be watching till the end of the second feature) And I’ve been told there are three more over the course of the season. Choice is good!

Fallout:

-Of course most of the salient reportage revolves around injuries to Burrow, McCarthy, Fields and Daniels. This will be the third of six seasons that Joe will only play 10 games or so. Another circumstance not given much attention is that two of the Panthers starting o-linemen are down. This might be a lost season right off the hop.

-Maybe the Packers D is all that? They tamed both the Lions and the Commies, causing Detroiters to fuss and fret and then low and behold they hung a 50 spot on the Bears.

-Not All That: There was a time not long ago that Trevor Lawrence strutted into the league and coaches, scouts and media alike designated him as “The Next One”. He now has 70 turnovers in 62 games played and progress sure seems stalled. I think this is the time/place to realize that he is what he is.

-Two Updates: The Chiefs are 0-2. The Colts haven’t punted yet.

To The Games!

Bucs/Texans:

-Baker has a streak of six straight games throwing 2+ TD’s.

-Nico was started everywhere but delivered 3 catches and 25 yards. The good news is that he’s back at the friendly confines of NRG Stadium and of his last 15 TD’s caught, 13 have been at home.

-Looking forward to the battle between Chubb and Vita Vea, the 357 pound destroyer of running lanes.

-There’s plenty of grumbling out Texas way that Houston did not fully address their offensive line woes-something to keep an eye on.

Bolts/Raiders:

-Both teams are in a great spot if they get the W, what with the Chiefs where they are and the Broncos at 1-1. Early division games matter.

-This will be the first time they’ve met with both having winning records since wk 4 of 2021.

-Carroll thinks it would be great to win, given that they have a long covered wagon trip to the east coast to meet the Providence Steamrollers.

-Sounds like Bowers is a game-timer.

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Spur

The Baker is slathered in butter. That’s the only reason the DBs cant sack him

2
herodotus450

“Just butter?”
-Andrew R.

0
fleshwound_NPG

ah, time for baker to remind everyone he’s a former cleveland factory of sadness superintendent

1
fleshwound_NPG

houston, youre inner-oilers is showing!

1
fleshwound_NPG

*your

would’ve worked if i just said “youre oilers-ing!”

0
ArmedandHammered

I’m pretty sure Houston needed inner oilers.

1
Don T

Ah, yeah

0
Don T

Why didn’t Tampa use a timeout?

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“…and he’s able to bend it in.”

But enough about Troy’s love live, Joe.

1
Doktor Zymm

And now we know why that guy plays on the defense and isn’t a receiver

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“This guy Baker Mayfield is gonna change the way we think about serving up hospital balls!” – Derek Carr

comment image

3
fleshwound_NPG

BLOCKKAKE!

3
Doktor Zymm

Which 30something QB is Baker’s backup?

0
Jimbo

Bridgewater.

2
ArmedandHammered

Peter Horton

1
Gumbygirl

Lol!

1
Gatoraids

Timothy Busfield

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

When you said “bus” and “field” I thought you were talking about how Britt Reid’s short-lived stint as a driver for Truman Elementary School ended.

0
ArmedandHammered

Isn’t that the school for the deaf? At least the screams wouldn’t be too loud or distracted from doing his next line.

0
herodotus450

Hey has anybody seen the orange slices stuffed with sleeping pills I made? They were just here, then poof, gone. I hope no one mistook them for a quick half-time snack for famished footed ball players…

2
Doktor Zymm

I think NFL+ might have eaten them, my stream is nodding out for sure

4
Spur

this game is going to go on forever. Biucs will get a FG here and then the Texans get the TD leading to OT.

2
Gumbygirl

Oh lawd, they’s booing in Texass.

0
Don T

Someone was NOT shot?

8
fleshwound_NPG

chuckin it from the 1 back to back plays

this some vintage andy reid bullshit

1
litre_cola

Wasn’t it the Giants that ran a fade a dozen times in a season to 0 success?

0
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Hey, That’s my bit
-Mike McCarthy

1
Jimbo

Chubb couldn’t get enough penetration. There’s a pill for that now.

6
Don T

Vea’s a diaphragm

0
The Maestro

The world needs more Phil Collins as bumper music to commercial.

2
SonOfSpam

Yeah but we got a Bad Company cover, which we don’t need

3
ArmedandHammered

THIS!

0
The Maestro

Was it Bad Company’s “Bad Company” off their wildly successful album Bad Company?

1
ArmedandHammered

That was not the original the first time, the vocals sound off.

0
Bogdanski

Plus one “Black Sabbath” from the album “Black Sabbath” by Black Sabbath

0
Don T

Between the overexposure and hokey setups, I may end up tolerating the Mannings.

2
Doktor Zymm

Doink! sure has been around a lot this week, is he promoting his new podcast?

3
fleshwound_NPG

BIG OL DOINK https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7HNjpP87W0

4
Don T

¡Palo!

3
King Hippo

WRONG!!!

2
rockingdog

Found a funny:

[folds menu gently and hands to server]
please may I have one applebee?

3
ArmedandHammered

And my son, the assistant manager will escort you out. Well actually he would laugh and tell you to order something from the menu or GTFO.

0
Spur

This Thursday Night, the Bills vs Dolphins!
You better watch, the AWS servers are tracking you!

2
Gatoraids

I’m all eyes

comment image

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Spur

Maybe the Eye is Bezos evolved form?
He takes one of his rocket Ferris wheels up it malfunctions send him straight up and doesn’t come back down. He gets a 1 way ticket to real space, sucked into a wormhole and ends up across the galaxy where he eats the black goo leading to the Eye for the Corporation to find.

0
fleshwound_NPG

clemson 21
georgia tech 24

Screenshot-2025-09-15-205640
1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Submit to your husband, Taylor. You’re not in charge.” – Charlie Kirk, exercising his Constitutional right to undermine the dignity of others

1
Don T

Houston O-Line NFL©️
comment image

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ArmedandHammered

No, those are at least mostly upright.

0
fleshwound_NPG

game being in houston reminds me of when espn made good commercials https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xT0oP_8Tppk

2
Gatoraids

my favorite used it last week talking to the team about benefits of working from home

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XvXRaSvxmqg

7
rockingdog

That commercial was ROCKING!!! 🤟

1
rockingdog

Found a cool:

🏈
https://bsky.app/profile/coachdancasey.bsky.social

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I might like this guy.

https://bsky.app/profile/coachdancasey.bsky.social/post/3lyvr2d4ov22b

1
Doktor Zymm

That’s nawt an O-line, it’s an Oh?-line

2
Don T

Mm. May break out the nic gum for the RAAAAIIII DUUUUUURSS
/drops hanky suggestively

1
Spur

Can we start the Raider game already?
Carroll has an 8am bedtime.

2
Spur

Joe Burrow? More like Joe Broken.
Am I right Redshirt?

…….Redshirt?

Anyone seen Redshirt?

3
Don T

He’s watching “Requiem for a Dream” to mellow out

14
ArmedandHammered

I almost lost a lung laughing to that one.

4
Redshirt

Now I have to explain to everyone at work why I feel out of my chair laughing. Nicely done.

2
litre_cola

I had no idea it is Dakota Jesus SZN, oh he will lead them to the playoffs. It has been foretold.

2
Jimbo

Inshallah!

0
Spur

Evening Folks

1
litre_cola

Ryan Clark comes off as such a dickhead.

0
ArmedandHammered

Which of all those dickheads was Ryan Clark? I wasn’t paying close attention. My fingers are more fascinating than this game.

0
litre_cola

-Mrs. ArmedandHammered

1
ArmedandHammered

It was a good vacation….

2
ArmedandHammered

Nice to see Corey Feldman getting some work.

1
Spur

Big Fan! Big Fan!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iO_8n5y5edk&t=1s

1
Gumbygirl

Lol, Corey’s telling the youts to just say no. What the actual fuck is Howard stern wearing? My eyes!!

2
King Hippo

So far, this game reminds me of LOG. It’s better than bad, it’s GOOD!

6
ArmedandHammered

Who do we wish would burn in hell?
Goodell, Goodell
He’s such a disgrace
to the whole human race.

4
King Hippo

Indelible Prickstains has narrowed the gap (PHRASING) to 49/51 against Bastard Man.

1
Mr. Ayo

Kind of a sick game when my QB throws a TD pass and I lose ground.

2
King Hippo

and Hippo was hoping it was a lateral

0
fleshwound_NPG

Texans receiver Christian Kirk listed as OUT (hamstring)

better shape than the other Christian Kirk listed as out (dead)

9
Doktor Zymm

The Dolphin’s training staff says Charlie Kirk is fine, it’s just his sciatica acting up

6
ArmedandHammered

Back injury.

0
ArmedandHammered

which sciatica is, so, so very stoned, blessedly so as it is back to work tomorrow.

2
BugEyedBoo

NeckBack Injury.

2
Jimbo

Just like Andy Reid I’m rooting for the Baker.

4
King Hippo

ONLY to Ekugba and we a’ight. Otherwise…time to throw hands smgdh

1
fleshwound_NPG

BLEERGH has missed a few already

1
ArmedandHammered

What is the name of the artist who desecrated the song Bad Company on that bumper?

0
Gumbygirl

I decided to get a walk in before football. Mistake, it was still way too hot.

4
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I was going to lift weights during the Raiders game; glad it’s a late start.

1
ArmedandHammered

For the HOA, I had to walk the neighborhood and deliver notice of the next HOA meeting into every single mailbox. The weather is actually nice, but the tactical riot gear gets really, really hot.

5
Gumbygirl

Karen is locked and loaded. It’s best to be prepared.

2
ArmedandHammered

We have a retired female Marine gunny who makes even the stereotypical bull dyke cringe in fear. She is neither male nor female, she is Alpha.

0
ArmedandHammered

But she does a great job with her responsibilities, even if she is abrasive at times.

0
Doktor Zymm

I guess they decided that it’s better to make east coasters stay up super late instead of having game overlap like they did before? Kinda seems like both are bad options, I would go with starting the first game an hour earlier giving people on the west coast a good reason to leave work early

4
ArmedandHammered

Corporate has mandated all employees must RTO and must stay till at least 6:30 pm, any drop in production will not be tolerated, drones.

5
fleshwound_NPG

Charlie Heck’s mom’s name was Mary Freck. Grandmother was Augustine Flipping

1
herodotus450

He may have fooled all of you (and the Texans), but I know Woody Marks is really Adrian Peterson in disguise.

1
fleshwound_NPG

woody marks is a really bad name for him to switch to

5
Gatoraids

how many in the dead qbs parlay for tonights games?

0
Unsurprised

LAWYERBALL!

1
Doktor Zymm

With all the veteran QBs that are/might be starting next week it’s like the league has decided it’s 2015 again. I don’t mind as long as they don’t let Dan Snyder own a team again.

4
litre_cola

Is this mandatory?

0
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

When is it nawt?

0
litre_cola

Fine, but i will go to bed before halftime in the 2nd tilt.

0
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Haha
I’m prob not going to see any of the second game as I’m going to bed

2
Gatoraids

if you need another reason to drink

1
fleshwound_NPG

might actually be good (anything can be better than the thursday sunday night game)

0
King Hippo

Nein. But I napped for it, anyway

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The only person I know of with an excused absence is Charlie Kirk.

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