Off we go.
To The Games!
Chargers/Giants:
Dart Start Day in New Jersey! Calloo Callay! Jaxon will see things (coverages and blitz packages) he’s never seen before and I hope one of them is not ghosts. At 3-0 the Chargers look formidable but aren’t a juggernaut just yet. The Giants will help them get there. It seems that Harbaugh has most pieces in place and it’s just a matter of time. #truthkhaki
Titans/Texans:
Houston better get their first win here or the season is a bust. A Lucy Pinder-sized bust.
Commies/Falcons:
Atlanta fixed their offensives woes by…firing Ike Hilliard the wr coach? C’mon! Daniels has been ruled out so Mariota gets the start. I can see this as being a run-heavy game as Bijan and the Commies committee get all kinds of action.
Saints/Bills:
Welcome to the Buffalo Massacre. The Bills are on 10 days rest and New Orleans are on their last legs. Prediction? Buffalo puts up a 40 spot and Truth Biscuit starts the 4th.
Eagles/Bucs:
If both Wirfs and Godwin make it back this is a helluva game. Baker has a big enough chip on his shoulder that I think he can pull this out in the last few seconds if it comes down to that. Here’s a record scratch for you-Tampa is 7-1 vs Philly in their last eight tilts.
Browns/Lions:
Detroit’s potent run game (rock) vs Cleveland’s daunting rush D. (scissors) Wait, wrong game. On paper this looks like a low-scoring tussle but sometimes these games go in the complete opposite direction. Is Judkins a thing? If he runs for 80+ yards today I think he is.
Panthers/Pats:
Carolina pulled off a stunner last week that told us just how bad a spot the Falcons are in. I don’t like saying it but it seems that New England is slowly improving and will make the steady crawl to a .500 record this year.
Do your thing.
iggles game winning intentional safety dance!
Reenactment of what happened to my Black Panthers
THIS EAGLES DEFENSIVE LINE, I CALL THEM TULANE UNIVERSITY BECAUSE THEY WERE A GREEN WAVE BURYING BAKER MAYFIELD ON THAT PLAY
Indianel Jones with a tribute to his time as a VEP with that INT.
Will the Baker Man serve up some banana cakes?
lol whatever the fuck was that baker
Sk8terboi is going to turn his brain to CTE-flavored pudding running up the middle like that.
If he makes it to his age 28 season I’ll be astounded.
No chance. None.
The Iggles are just Drama Queens, ain’t they?
My win probability rate in Math Hard went from 35% to 89% in one hour.
Just like SECDEF’s BAC!
never got into madden, can you adjust the gravity settings before kicks
would explain what is happening in tampa
Still needs one yard to beat Tucker’s record, but Tucker does have a “hand up”
Bijan and Tyler are the perfect duo to run out the clock.
as a Ravens fan getting ready to watch the chiefs today, i’m glad that i have a reliable ether supplier.
Are…are the Fuck LioUns back?
Maaaayyybeeee appears in a certain notepad on the Aceola.
Jaxson back in the game like the hexo that he is.
60 Mins: Tune in for an unintelligent talk with a semi-sentient thumb!
Will they ask him about the time he and his wife slapped each other in public?
MAYBE!
Algiers collecting tribute from the Commanders like its 1795.
What’s the biggest difference between Eugene McCarthy and the Falcons? The latter are way better at tackling Commies.
“Penix standing tall, hitting his target, completing his balls” real fun color commentary.
I used some Bimzelx and NOW I’M BACK
“You can’t spell Josh Allen without M-V-P”
I’m pretty sure you have to, actually.
JosheM VallPen
Penix doesn’t see defenders closing on his receivers. Weird.
Woody Marks also on Hippo’s bench for the loss to DonT
Dispiriting is understate
I was gonna have to play at least one of Marks and Kendre Miller next week, that’s my silver lining
Marky Mark is ‘The Lighthouse Keeper’ at Foxborough today, so it is in his honor that I say “That is NAWT a fahckin’ catch!”
Washington getting a jump on the government shutdown today, it seems.
Independent Spotter: “How are feeling?”
Jaxson Dart: “Very good. I feel like the Giants will win today?”
Independent Spotter: “My God, he’s delirious. Pull him now!”
So… what happened with Dart?
He chose not to slide and got big boy tackled.
He’ll be a little teapot! in no time!! – Trent G., standing in puddle of own urine
He got driven into the ground so hard, his nickname now is “Jart”
Lawn Jart?
“Back injury”
-Miami medical staff
Jaxson out. Ruxell back in.
There he is!
You and wee man playing Very Sexual Hide-n-Seek again?
today i bought a paper shredder. next up, i’ll be making prune juice smoothies
you still have to burn it afterwards, fucking AI can just take picture of the shredded pieces and put them back together, plus the burning destroys the tiny microphones embedded in the paper.
good to know. i took all the past tax returns and built a gigantic fire in the backyard. hoping it pissed off the uptight assholes next door.
tell them about the microphones, they will understand. or they might just leave you alone from then on
YOU CANNOT ESCAPE THE RUSSELL WILSON EXPERIENCE, NEW YORK!!!
You were right to sit him but there has been a Pittsdown.
Hippo notice. Hippo sigh.
Sigh seconded
You started him!
Somebody take Scotchy’s straight razor, yo…
Also, while this is also pissing me off for FF purposes, Buffalo’s defense giving up 10 points, so far, to the Saints, cannot be a good sign for the Bill’s long term prospects this season.