A Monday Night Doubleheader!: So Much Manna

I don’t understand the reasoning why we’re blessed in this fashion but I’ll take it. By the by, we don’t get one next week but have some more staggered action in weeks 6 and 7 AND THEN…no more the rest of the way. Where’s the logic?

Fallout:

-He played, hoping his toe was in remission but no luck for Purdy. The Niners loss to Jax doesn’t make much sense outside the 4 turnovers the Jags forced. That’s not sustainable but they’re 3-1 with some unexpected wins in their bag and you never know how that can affect a team.

-Dublin Calling!: “I Live By The Liffey!” It wasn’t very good but it’s good to know that peer pressure still works, as most of the clubhouse showed up. We’re doing it all over again next week, monkeys.

-At a +40 point differential the Colts trail only Detroit and Buffalo. That’s heady company. It could have been more, hell they could be 4-0 but Adonai Mitchell. His teammates consoled him as though he made a mental error when he lost the touchdown. That’s just a dumb fuckup and as a team mate I’d be livid if he took points off the board because he was a dickbag-and I’d expect the same treatment if I did the same. I sound old.

-I guess the Bears offense is a work in progress but they’ll never get to the next level with D’Andre Swift as their primary rb. Yesterday featured a 2.7 avg on 14 carries for a dude that is on his third team in six years. His rushing totals so far-35, 33, 63 and 53. I feel like they’re 2-2 despite him. They give off a 6-11 vibe to me.

-Don’t look for the Ravens D to turn around any time soon. It’s confirmed that de Nnamdi Madubuike, who hasn’t played in the last two games, is done for the year. If you couple that with All Pro lb Roquan Smith sitting for a few weeks with a hammy, things don’t look good.

To The Games!

Jets/Fins:

-At least it’s a divisional tussle?

-this is a unique tilt in that both teams think it’s a “Get Well” game, a time to turn things around. I don’t want to seem overly dramatic but the season is over for the loser.

-Not sure if Tawmmy can handle this but I think the Pats are going to get a wild card berth because these guys suck so much and the Ravens are compromised.

-I’d list the spread but only the most degenerate would bet this disaster.

Bengals/Broncos:

-Cincy’s a team forever twirling sideways because there’s nothing in the center to pull it back.

-The Broncos 4th-quarter drives in their losses haven’t been pretty-a missed indoor 42-yard field goal, some three-and-outs, an INT-I trust that Payton will eventually get these fixed because they can’t fall to Vegas’ 1-3 level.

-Browning showed out the last time he filled in but as is the way with backup qb’s-they are an inconsistent bunch. He’s tossed 5 INT’s in the seven quarters he’s played this year.

-Not to crap on him some more but Jake threw all of two times to Higgins last week. Mike Brown didn’t pull 10 million extra dollars out of his tighty whiteys to sign Tee for this to happen.

It’s all you.

 

 

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Redshirt

Oh, well at least there’s the…Reds?!

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Brocky

For the record,

No i did not draft tyreek this year. That was last year

jjfozz

If i was super rich here’s what I would do;

Hire top notch ninja spies with cameras and send them to every game in every stadium.

They would be instructed to locate and record anyone wearing one of those oversized baseball hats.

These images would use face recognition software to identify the person and where they live.

Then, a different breed of ninjas would beat them with a canvas bag full of rocks until they got the message to stop wearing those stupid goddamn hats.

Romonobyl

Wow it’s been awhile, still see a few familiar names here.

King Hippo

We’ve got ROMO!!!!!!!

Romonobyl

It’s been years, but after last night’s debacle I missed the opportunity to vent at will. I’m pleased to see it’s still active, unlike the Cowboy’s secondary.

King Hippo

Imaginary friend, we will make Fetch happen or DIE TRYING

Brocky

I invoked your name sake last night

Romonobyl

How could you forget meeee??? (TBF, it’s been so long I doubt anyone remembers).

King Hippo

MOAR NFC EAST Clubhouse Slapfights YAY!!!!!

litre_cola

Wouldn’t be DFO without NFC verbal sparring!

ArmedandHammered

I ‘member.

Gatoraids

thank you sir for you commitment to the bit on the Falcons kicker

LemonJello

comment image

Welcome back!

King Hippo

HAIL BLEERGH from whom all blessings flow!

Redshirt

Oh BLEEGH, why had thought forsaken me!! Yet again!

fleshwound_NPG

wait, i missed a severe tyreek hill injury?!?!?

King Hippo

That was his CHILD BEATING hip, too!!

litre_cola

Was just going to say his kids be scared now due to all his free time.

Redshirt

I think they can now outrun him.

jjfozz

Wow, a deep cut from Simple Minds on a chatgpt commercial

jjfozz

Regarding my mother in law and the Tylenol-autism news:

“I don’t know why anyone would take any of that medicine. People are crazy.”

Right because herbal remedies work so well that science improved them by %1,000.

Redshirt

..

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LemonJello

Nix gets six.

jjfozz

Serious question

Has anyone had a partial knee replacement or known someone who has?

I might find out I need one this Wednesday. But I’m thinking duct tape and some broken pencils will make an inexpensive and serviecable brace.

Redshirt

My mother had two total knee replacements. The rehab is difficult, but if you do the rehab, it does wonders.

Brocky

There’s an nfl players union joke here somewhere

Romonobyl

X2 on the rehab. I had arthroscopic surgery on one knee and the doc told me to get real with the rehab procedures. I did and it made a world of difference.

ArmedandHammered

I need one within the next few years, but I will not fucking postpone my retirement just to keep our health care. ***Works another 20 years

Doktor Zymm

My aunt had a souble full knee replacement and loves it

Bogdanski

Im guessing that’s a mispelling of “soluble” which are the best kind of knees

Redshirt

Well, our defense last nearly half a quarter. Progress, I guess.

King Hippo

Bailout there, I was yelling they ain’t gonna snap it

LemonJello

Didja scare your cats?

King Hippo

2 of the 3 are SMRT enough to be outside at present, the other one has learned to ignore my wailings

litre_cola

THat’s a terrible call in the Bengals game

King Hippo

Yeah, no argument even from the homer on that

Jimbo

Will Moss get Moss’d, stay tuned.

Gumbygirl

ZYMM! Condi Rice is at the game. Go up there and make her defend her ‘Saddam had weapons of mass destruction” bullshit. Then club her like a baby seal, and escape to your secret volcano lair

King Hippo

(also tell her Hippo sez hey)

litre_cola

Lost in dem shoulders eh?

King Hippo

heh, I respect her decision to play FOAR the other team!

Doktor Zymm

Holy shit! I didn’t see her, but could just be that the action of the biological weapons she was exposed to was delayed 20+ years by the gap in her teeth and she melted down moments before I would have glanced her

King Hippo

Does Hippo like this start? No, Other Hippo, he surely do NOT

jjfozz

My children still can’t grasp the concept of my curved brim hats.

“Dad, it looks dumb.”

“No, flat brimmed hates make you look like inbred hill people who fuck their dogs and consider it foreplay before fucking their sisters.”

LemonJello

Do they leave the stickers on their hats too?

litre_cola

Oh I rip all stickers off of Decilitre’s hats.

jjfozz

No. They know if that happens I will wipe my ass with the cover heads for their golf clubs. gotta have standars.

Jimbo
Downfield Matriculator

Absolutely correct. Flat brimmed hats are for weed dealers with thinning hair, idiots in Fanatics wear and skateboarders (worn backward, obv)

Doktor Zymm

Are the Bears the only NFC team with orange?

herodotus450

If you mix the 49ers colors you sort’ve get orange.

Brick Meathook

?

LemonJello

Tampa in their Creamsicle unis.

Doktor Zymm

Ochocinco jersey!

King Hippo

Good Donks safety play gives Hippo a moment of joy

Doktor Zymm

This very well might be the rowdiest home crowd I’ve seen, sorry Seahawks, this is louder

Doktor Zymm

Heellll yeah

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Is the implication “chase dogs”?

LemonJello

“Chase 5-way”?

SonOfSpam

Is it a sandwich?

fleshwound_NPG

oh come on wordpress, post the steamy sportswriter jam

bafkreiewlnednb2kfmrw7jtywt25i2c3ied22g354aippv5by5hfsrx2dm
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Great now I need a shower of my own.

SonOfSpam

Just use s tube sock

LemonJello

I momentarily thought I had stumbled onto some hot MAC-tion instead of MNF.

Gatoraids

reason Manningcast took the night off and they have seen Arch play

litre_cola

Guys, I don’t think Justin Fields throws like an NFL qb.

fleshwound_NPG

or holds onto the ball like one

Doktor Zymm

They announce the altitude of the visiting team 🤣

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Doktor Zymm

Oh solid intro theatre!

Senor Weaselo

Imagine playing the Mexico City Jaguars!

“Their altitude? TOO HIGH. ONLY ONE MILE IS ALLOWED!”

litre_cola

A Bengal could eat a horse. Therefore, go Bengals.

Redshirt

…but a horse can outrun a Bengal and kick it when it attacks. See, we got the offense but they got the defense.

Doktor Zymm

Cutler jersey!

Sharkbait

Obligatory DOOOOOOOONT CAAAAAAAARE

ArmedandHammered

Who is the announcer that keeps slurping Tua?

Gatoraids

CTE Research Institute President

ArmedandHammered

Trying to get that posthumous brain donation, huh? I knew those university types were worse whores than any you would find on the Strip in Vegas.

SonOfSpam

Not sure you can donate your brain unposthumously.

Gatoraids
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Fortunately, we’re looking at updating those innovation-stifling regulations.” – RFK Jr.

Gumbygirl

Just hop in your medbed and grow it back! What, you don’t have a medbed? Peasant!

Redshirt

(sigh) Well, I guess it’s time switch over to ABC, and grab my radio, and ice cream, and liquor, and trebuchet.

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Brick Meathook
Doktor Zymm

Paging balls

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WCS

Oregon just played Penn State on Saturday, and now they’re hosting the J-E-S-T?
Bold scheduling, Cotton.

Wait, that’s who in the black unis?

Redshirt

Because when anyone thinks ocean, tropics and marine mammals, they instantly think of black with yellowish orange highlights.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

…black with yellowish orange highlights…

I mean that actually does sound like the appearance of a dive boat crew member in the Bahamas.

Brick Meathook
Doktor Zymm

69 jersery player name Bandwagon

Doktor Zymm

I got a program and a pack of trading cards! Walked over with a super nice couple, the lady was like “I couldn’t even start drinking because I’m an attorney and didn’t want to be drinking on the record” while working from a bar and wearing a sequined Broncos jacket. DFO material for sure!

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Senor Weaselo

I’d like to say I’ll sacrifice the Jets for the Yankees/Knicks kicking ass in the following thing, but that would be the kind of sacrifice that makes it worse.

Redshirt

Based on that logic, sacrificing the Bengals may result in the Reds sweeping the playoffs only to be disqualified and lifetime banned for gambling on themselves to lose.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We’ll always have the Jets!

fleshwound_NPG

finally give in and turn on the sicko double-header, and instantly LOLJETS

Redshirt

.

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Gumbygirl

Loljets!

Doktor Zymm

Evergreen

herodotus450

Good news everyone! There’s plenty of pre-season hockey to go around instead of these gridiron abortions.

herodotus450

They’re down by 1, I’ll have you know, but tht’s only because they’re icing a squadron of their best prospects and most recent draft picks! Oh, wait… oh no.

WCS

I let this go from last night until now, because I broked a cardinal rule last night. I hung up on a caller who called me the n-word. He sounded white and intox himself, didn’t quite elucidate the address clearly. I asked what city, he responded with, “PITTSBURGH YOU DUMB N— (racist slur redacted because this isn’t TownHall).” That was an automatic dump call, oops line cut, sorry.
The hope the LTs didn’t notice.

If they did, I’d have known by now. Fuck that guy, and whatever help he needed never came.

Gatoraids

he probably meant to call the White House

Senor Weaselo

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION INTO THIS MATTER!

Gatoraids

im barely avoid using this to right wing coworkers

WCS

That would imply he thinks minorities work at the White House…

Doktor Zymm

I think it’s the 10 minute warning for me to finish me beer, have a pee, and walk to the stadium. Beer line here is a bit too long for one moar

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Doktor Zymm

I am dressed as a true neutral, in unlogoed gray, olive, black.

This is probably the one crowd in the world where safety orange blends in!

Last edited 6 months ago by Doktor Zymm
herodotus450

Perfect opportunity to break out the NFL(tm) hat

Senor Weaselo

That’s when I break out my Shatter! jersey. You think anyone will know about my wearing a Brooklyn based robot combat team at Fenway? (They did not.)

Brick Meathook

Where are you?

SonOfSpam

(she’s on the interwebs)

SonOfSpam

They’re fine for an alternate. No more than once a year. Ok, maybe no more ever.

Redshirt

Dak Prescott won the Him Poll? How can he be Him if he tied?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, doesn’t that mean he’s trans?

blaxabbath

“Time to kill that fucking Qu— queer then?”

-J Bosa

King Hippo

Think the LOLfin helmets are reasonable enough. But the rest of that kit? YEESH, bad even FOAR Miami.

Redshirt

It’s like the edgy version of the 1990s.

Gumbygirl

I like the helmets. The rest of it is giving Arena football vibes, but let’s face it- the Dolphins regular unis are ugly as fuck. The black is helping to tone down that HoJo’s mojo.

Gatoraids

couldnt afford to officially license Zubaz again so this is what we went with

Doktor Zymm

Receivers get away with far moar shit than RBs do, and get paid more, buncha divas. Henry’s fumbles were far less his fault as it is damn near impossible to hold on to a football when someone is punching it full force and he got his touches reduced while something that is 100% a receiver’s fault usually results in fuckall

Redshirt

A little pregame “aw” before we get to the “ew”, “ugh”, and other utterances.

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