Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks tl;dr of last week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.

This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
I’ve wanted to pummel Mark myself, but I am his employer [in bed].
Harmony Cobel

not sure about this one. Can’t think of jobs that you get to be in bed, other than the obvious one.

As it’s Thanksgiving day as I am writing this, I’m thankful for this site all all of youz.  

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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Redshirt

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A most wonderful of mornings to all! I had arranged a date for yesterday PM through the dating apps, but got a cancel off a flimsy pretext. It happens, and I appreciate that abortion over a going-thru-the-motions meetup. Besides, adults do NAWT need to provide explanations to folks who are still, technically, strangers. I don’t do those last minute cancellations, but could resort to them, oh yeah.

Still, there are much worse things than being forced to watch fitbaw. Like being a Qards fan yesterday, praise Jeebus. TEN played ok. That win was WTF! incredible and has me walking on air. And without any emotional second guessing, like after every not-perfect date 😝😅. Pure glee woooooo!
Don T

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The Onion simply never misses
https://theonion.com/dickhead-in-sanchez-jersey-turns-out-to-be-mark-sanchez-1819590841/
Horatio Cornblower

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This was the stupidest touchdown I’ve ever seen. Not even the Browns at their absolute Brownsiest could hope to match it. DERP!!!
Gumbygirl

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Clots and Jaguras leading the AFC South, just like the gypsy woman said.
WCS

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/DOOR FLIES OPEN

DDUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuVVVvvvAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLllllllllllllll*

/DOOR FLIES SHUT

*OH YOU NOES WE RUNNING THRU DAT CLUBHOUSE IN A JAGUARS BANDANA ON OUR WING-WANG, BULLEE DAT!
LemonJello

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eli and brady, trev and mahomes

only the dopes can beat the goats

fleshwound_NPG

$10 the Lawrence kid eats it.
Horatio Cornblower

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I’m being made to attend a party this weekend with my wife’s uber-Trump, super Christian, completely out of touch side of the family.

Expect a boots on the ground post once I sober up.
jjfozz

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“Swinging back and forth that much just doesn’t feel right.”

Hey, we all play the cards we’re dealt, OK?

-D. Favre
Horatio Cornblower

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A gin and tonic, some popcorn, and a dick joke and I am back to my normally chipper self!
Doktor Zymm

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Yesterday I ordered Sling TV Orange & Blue ($65/month) so I could watch baseball games. The SEA@DET game (the one I wanted to watch today) was rain delayed so it was in the 4th inning when the TOR@NYY started on FS1, so SEA@DET was moved to FS2 and MLB-TV, both of which I do not have and each want $30 bucks to join. FUCK THEM.

Also, this morning I had surgery to remove a kidney stone. It’s been there for three years and they never did anything about it because they said it was stable until they suddenly decided to do something. I get regular torso CAT scans after my foot surgery so there are no secret ailments anywhere in me. The stone was too large to pass (which was just fine by me) so they went in and busted it up and removed it. It was full blown surgery, although just with a little robotic tube they still cut a hole in me and played with my guts, entering through my back just at kidney level by (coincidence), fully anesthetized with gas and an airway and my eyes taped shut or so they told me I don’t remember a thing.

Prep started at 6:30AM, surgery started at 7:52AM, I went home just before noon. In recovery I had my iPad and did the Tuesday New York Times crossword puzzle. Tuesdays are still easy puzzles for the week and every letter I entered was wrong but it was still an amazing feat.

The urologist said that my kidney was perfectly healthy except for having a large rock in it and that everything should heal up fine, but I do wonder what this will do to the resale value of my kidney on eBay should the situation ever come to that; I’m not selling the good one unless I get a really good offer. They gave me even more quality opiates as a reward so if you want to buy some just IM me and we’ll work out a price.

Now I’m watching the TOR@NYY and I’m rooting for the Blue Jays all the way just to piss off Trump and his MAGA dipshits, plus watching the Yankees lose is always great and I’ve got to admit that the Dodgers are some greedy pay-per-view bastards so I kinda like watching them lose too.

I think I’ll take some more opiates. If one tablet is prescribed then four are 400% better. To prep for surgery I quit all alcohol a month ago and damn if I didn’t lose ten pounds and my work ethic quadrupled, although 4 x 0.1 is not huge it’s still something.

That is all; you may proceed with your lives now.
Brick Meathook

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I refuse to know Utah as anything else than the “Soakers”
Game Time Decision

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It’s worth pointing out my phone doesn’t autocorrect “harf” as an incorrect word.

Think about that for second.
WCS

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With apologies to our thread host…

HAPPY YANKEES SCHADENFREUDE DAY EVERYBODY!
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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I’ve got theatre tickets tonight, and it sounds like a pretty awesome show, but I would have to leave the house in like 15 minutes and I’m not sure I’ve got the energy
Doktor Zymm

If the play is The Persecution and Assassination of Jean-Paul Marat as Performed by the Inmates of the Asylum Under the Direction of the Marquis De Sade in West Berlin in 1965 at the Schiller Theatre? I can’t recommend it enough. It’s a banger!
scotchnaut

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Portland is a burning hellscape!

Gumbygirl

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Don T

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Helmet to helmet hit and you flag Skattebo for talking shit? Fuck the NFL
jjfozz

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Real math, insight, and booze? This is way too much effort for these parts.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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I’m going up to Big Bear this afternoon. My SIL and I are going to a wine festival up there tomorrow. I think it will do my head a world of good right about now. If that doesn’t work…

Gumbygirl

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I guess you could say they’re sleepless in Seattle.

Jimbo

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This game is lasting longer than my first marriage.
yeah right

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Gumbygirl

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The reason the Supreme Court won’t allow Trump send Texans to Portland is because the fear of the next Democrat with balls (if such a creature could ever exist) sending California guardsmen to Texas to enforce voting rights, and that would be fucking hilarious.
Unsurprised

CNN: “After including all the disenfranchised votes and eliminating the voting irregularities, Ted Cruz lost by 5”
Cruz: “That’s not that bad.”
CNN: “I’m sorry, I intentionally misspoke. Ted Cruz lost with five votes. Only five Texans of voting age wanted you as their senator.”
Redshirt

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Do stray QBs count as a pet?

Redshirt

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🔱🔱🔱 UP!!!!

Mr. Ayo

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Oh, SNAP

BeefReeferLives

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Editor
October 11, 2025 8:54 pm
The friend I picked up at the airport at 11:30 last night flew in from Kentucky, and took the precaution of getting me one of these to say thank you.

It is very good. I’m going to take over one of Sharkbait’s Friday cocktail reviews and it’s going to be “pour into glass. drink. repeat as needed”
Horatio Cornblower

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This is Roger. He has been a good dog today.

blaxabbath

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I just woke up from a disturbing nightmare. The United States of America was slowly turning into a dystopian nightmare, Late Night talk show hosts were turning into dust like the end of Avengers: Infinity War, and if that wasn’t the worst of it, Joe Flacco is the starting quarterback of the Cincinnati Bengals.

Good thing none of that would ever happen in real life, right?
Redshirt

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Happy real thanksgiving to all you mother Canuckers out there.

Say what you want about the 1-15 Miami Dolphins, but at least they were likeable. This year’s team is unlikeable and just fucking terrible
Wakezilla

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Today’s Saddest Fact of the Day: When Joe Flacco takes his first snap, for the first time in Franchise History, the Bengals will finally have a QB who has won a Super Bowl.
Redshirt

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BC Dicks dad passed away. Here we are. MiLitre I’d participate as well.

litre_cola

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Love these ads for Foxwoods Casino that show all these people dressed to the nines and having a great time, but if you actually go there it’s a bunch of degenerates wearing their second-best sweats while sitting at a one-armed bandit long enough to piss themselves twice because “this machine is due, I just know it”
Horatio Cornblower

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Perhaps the only positive thing from the London mess:

Granny in a Tupac shirt is what the world needs right now.
WCS

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Mrs Fozz: “Can you go out and cut some chives for me?”

It is raining, dark and chilly.

I cut the chives, imagining they are Harbaugh, Ohr, and Bisciotti

Give her the chives.

“Couldn’t you find some that were more tender?”

“Try the grocery store. Football is coming on.”
jjfozz

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

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