The Olds Have Come Out To Play!

Rodgers: [commanding voice] “Hand me The Elder Scrolls, minion!”

Trainer: “Oh, you mean the playbook?”

Rodgers: [whiny voice] “Shut up!”

God, sports yakkers just love themselves their statistical anomalies, don’t they? Sixty year+ writers getting all wet in their pants about forty year-olds is where we are.

Flotsam and Jetsam:

-Obvious News is Obvious: Brian Branch’s one game suspension is upheld because believe it or not, there is a rational higher court that still exists in the US. For now. Branch has been fined about a dozen times for about $130,000 and he’s been in the league three years. He’s run the gamut of offenses-taunting, helmet to helmet hits, horse collar tackles, middle finger salutes, fighting-he’s done it all.

-Best Backfield?: Word is that Chuba Hubbard is ready to play again. Here’s the best kind of problem to have-the fill-in (Dowdle of course) went on a absolute tear during the starter’s absence and the ‘conundrum’ as ESPN puts it, is “Oh my, what to do?” Non-dummies know that this is a split backfield now that is far more potent than it was before. Another thing new to the Panthers? They might be buyers at the trade deadline-a wr to pair with the Tet Offensive would be a good idea.

WTH?: I was astounded to find out that Fields (that guy with the net -10 passing yards last week) has yet to throw an INT so far this year.

To The Game!

Steelers/Bengals:

-Good news for everyone on Pitt-it would appear that Hendrickson is out.

-Vanilla Joe was only sacked one time last week which seems curious to me but Green Bay is turning out to be a difficult team to figure out.

-You’re starting Chase anyway but it may be good to know that the Steelers are 22nd in DVOA vs #1 wr’s.

-His counterpart (D.K.) is on a heater with 9 grabs, 221 yards and a pair of TD’s over the last two weeks. Overall he’s scored a six spot in four straight games.

-29% of Rodgers passes have been behind the line of scrimmage to date. Are you a good game manager? Yes you are!

-Thing is, Cincy gives up the most yards after catch (7.2) no matter where it’s done on the field so that lazy screen to the rb will get Pitt almost 3/4’s of the way to a first down when thrown on first down.

-I’m guessing that Flacco doesn’t look to Iosivas very much this evening-he had three drops last week.

Do your thing.

 

 

 

 

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Redshirt

Good game.

IMG_2191
Redshirt

…oops, wrong one. 😇

IMG_2186
Unsurprised

It’s disgraceful that the only series I watch, having gone full movies are the only good media left and even that means digging into a century of dogshit-hood, are the “it’s so stupid it’s funny” ones like Reacher and Slow Horses.

Anyway, The Diplomat season 3 dropped today.

Horatio Cornblower

I like Slow Horses, but they’re forcing it this season.

WCS

Congrats ___shirt clan.

Ice Stillers and Ice Rams(??) tied 2-up, second intermission just commenced.

jjfozz

“I’m only going to have like, maybe, three beers.’

come home.

Have five bourbons.

“Babe, you ready for the time of your life/’

fleshwound_NPG

the browns will never, ever stop being the funniest dumpster fire, somehow losing games they were not even in

enjoy those dipshit rookies at qb, fucksticks

Sharkbait

I saw somewhere that they are paying EIGHT quarterbacks right now, four of whom are are on different teams

Unsurprised

Oh Jesus. I’m going to need oxygen

Unsurprised

FOUR dipshits at QB. Pathetic.

litre_cola

That game was for all of us who have watched countless Tenn or Cards v Jags or Panthers on Thursday nights.

Unsurprised

And I could still barely watch. What is wrong with me

Brocky

Redshirt you good?

Redshirt

Alive. -ish.

Gumbygirl

Well, this was fun.

Brick Meathook

This reminds me of when Joe Flacco rescued all those orphans from the fire.

Redshirt

(in sitting fetal position)

Doktor Zymm

“THESE BENGALS THEY CAN’T BE JET FUEL BECAUSE THEY HAVE MELTED STEEL BEAMS”
-Pete Carroll

fleshwound_NPG

stillers deserve 2 losses in the standings for letting old ass flacco beat them

browns deserve 3 for yet another qb being successful somewhere far away from them

Redshirt

afdjio;jdis;oFiojds;fjdis:Fjklds;jkfl;csdJKL:Fcsd

ArmedandHammered

Smell toast yet?

Redshirt

No but I saw Dad and Seamus for a split second. Dad was eating a Western Omelet listening to his father tell him a story. Seamus was hitting on a waitress.

WCS

Well, that looks correct…

ArmedandHammered

How are they going to fuck this up?

ArmedandHammered

Fumble maybe.

Redshirt

Flacco kneeling the ball back to Midfield.

ArmedandHammered

Kick return for a touchdown?

fleshwound_NPG

why is chase wide the fuck open

Brocky

comment image

fleshwound_NPG

bengals/cowboys super bowl if either had replacement-level players on defense

Doktor Zymm

Commentator: “He just got lost in the back end”
Balls: “Yeah, I know what’s that like”

WCS

MMMMMMMMMMUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

SonOfSpam

where is this gay moose WCS keeps yelling at?

Redshirt

I have never been more pissed making $195.

Redshirt

..

IMG_2189
fleshwound_NPG

what a delightfully dumb game

Redshirt

There it is.

WCS

Alright, Qaron. This is why you were hired. Break out the ayawascha (I haven’t the slightest idea to spell that).

Unsurprised

You have to be on it to spell it

Brick Meathook

El Segundo 10/16/25

https://ibb.co/LD7Tr88z

Unsurprised

Did you find a wallet?

Col. Duke LaCross

Oof. Kinda feel like I know how this one is going to end.

Redshirt

So now we have to hope for two straight stops by the Defense?!

jjfozz

I don’t wish bad stuff on people, cause it comes back to you double.

BUT

If a flaming dumpster stuffed full of dead cattle parts and shit fell on TJ Watt, I would applaud.

WCS

How the fuck did it take until 2020 and a global pandemic for KFC to realize

“hunk of chicken + bun = sandwich”

like they just split the atom?

Unsurprised

Before that their idea of sandwich was two chicken breasts as the bread

Redshirt

The greatest call of Zac Taylor’s life. Followed by the norm.

fleshwound_NPG

lmao

Jimbo

Elite run.

Brocky

So I’ve been sitting on this screenshot from last of us season 2 for a few months now, figured I’d have a chance to use it during a seahawks game, but it fits here

comment image

jjfozz

The Last of Us – I love apocalyptic shit – this series made me wish for an apocalypse where I died.

Brocky

I knew the series was doomed the second it was greenlit.

Nothing to do with the subject matter. Just that the first one was lightning in a bottle, you can’t recreate that

ArmedandHammered

I am going to just gonna kick back and enjoy myself during the apocalypse since I am dead 6 months after my meds run out anyway.

Horatio Cornblower

Nothing like a good mushroom-zombies series that does everything it can to avoid showing you any mushroom-zombies.

Mr. Ayo

IT’S FINE. I SAID IT WAS FINE. EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY. STARTING TOMORROW. FUCK

Sharkbait

Fuck off Dell. It is most certainly NOT the holidays yet.

Doktor Zymm

Tank Dell? Poor little broken guy

Redshirt

Aw. Hell. I’m in this Nightmare.

Gumbygirl

I told you this was a total trap game for the Steelers. I still believe it, you should be fine.

Redshirt

You make a good point. But still… (gestures at Bengals history of losing games they should’ve won)

fleshwound_NPG

there was more defense on the french countryside in may 1940 than this game, al

dmiller
jjfozz

in all of live television broadcastingk this was the boldest

Sharkbait

Did you forget Rush Limbaugh’s brief tenure on Sunday NFL Countdown?

fleshwound_NPG

or his fucking pizza hut commercial https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1xLl1g1lYM

Sharkbait

Gross.

WCS

This asshole. This asshole planted and sure shat enough fertilizer to get us here. I sincerely hope history just buries this shit heel, forever. Like, he becomes Goebbels level in terms of vitriol and disgust. Fuck him forever.

jjfozz

So, you’re not a fan?

WCS

Nah, I like Pizza Hut just fine.

Unsurprised

Remember. Rush Limbaugh was also a commentator for MNF once.

Horatio Cornblower

The important thing about Rush Limbaugh is that he’s dead and in Hell.

WCS

MOUNT WARSHINGTONDOWN

Redshirt

I wonder if the Browns would be willing to trade us their backup defense.

Gatoraids

Put Flacco in as corner back to intercept Qaron

Brick Meathook

This game is ASS (thank you Pittsburgh defense).

Fuck it I’m going to Vegas.

Image-1
SonOfSpam

I would see that show, but it better be Ono-heavy.

Gumbygirl

Can you imagine what that would sound like? It would bring about The End Times.

SonOfSpam

smooth crooning, incoherent wailing, ambient background music, and the loud thwack of a downhill skier hitting a tree

Gumbygirl

Needs more cowbell.

Redshirt

Eh, Defense…

fleshwound_NPG

nfl 2025 is one tom brady injury away from being as delightfully weird 2008 was

(will accept darth hoodie building a nuclear waste dump in north carolina as substitute)

jjfozz

My wife’s asshole cousins were UNC alums, won an NCAA championship in lax. this whole meltdown is making me smile from ear to ball sac.

SonOfSpam

THESE BENGALS I CALL THEM JARED FOGLE BECAUSE THEY JUST SCORED WITH N.FANT

jjfozz

That’s a stretch, but a worthy stretch

SonOfSpam

Hey if there’s an unfunny infant abusing joke, I haven’t heard it

jjfozz

‘What’s easier to unload. A truck full of bricks or a truck full of dead babies? A truck full of babies, cause you can use a pitchfork for the truck full of babies.”

That’s a joke you learn at a Catholic military school.

SonOfSpam

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends how hard you throw em

Doktor Zymm

I learned the same joke in public school, but it was bowling balls instead of bricks

jjfozz

having a bourbon with my oldest son, you know the one who I watched being born, the one that i made all the mistakes with, the one who has exceeded every expectation at the age of 21. fucking hell.

Brocky

Talking to my mom and few weeks ago, (I’m the youngest)

Mom: you’ll always be my baby

Me: your “baby” turns 40 next election cycle

Mom: 😐😐😐

Last edited 4 months ago by Brocky
jjfozz

doesn’t matter, teh first child always has a special aura around them.

WCS

I feel like the ex-wifey and I made all the major mistakes with Lil’er WCS, as opposed to Lil’ WCS. I like that Lil’er WCS acknowledges being the middle child means she can frame her siblings easier.

Also: Joe Flacco exists simply to irritate Steeler fans.

jjfozz

And i love him for that. i know that people in shittsburgh are just fuming right now. i hope they all die angry.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Breaking news: I didn’t watch this game either.

WCS

STILLERS GAHN TAH SUPERB OWL

WCS

MMMUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHH

DOWN

jjfozz

Had beers tonight with a friend who had a massive heart attack this summer. the amount of actions that led to him NOT dieing blew my mind. i guess when it’s your time, it’s your time.

Also, he said, “It’s all about diet.’

I had two bratwurst for lunch today.

Horatio Cornblower

But you didn’t have three bratwurst.

ArmedandHammered

Or cheddar brats, or were they?

fleshwound_NPG

had 3 brats during vacation back in may and didnt shit right for a week

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Which way did you put them into your body?

Gumbygirl

Buddy signal!

Brocky

I had two bratwurst for lunch today.

Reminds me of a quote:

“It’s alright Bob; actually this one was really just fibulation. So I just got to limit my Pork intake to Four Hundred grams a day!”

comment image

I don’t know if this gif is inappropriate, or if this is it’s best possible use

ArmedandHammered

The Bengals should look into working on their tackling, it might help the defense.

fleshwound_NPG

wasnt prepared for 40-something joe flacco to threaten the post-browns baker mayfield speedrun record

(the snes version record is still held by bernie kosar in 1993)

jjfozz

I almost forgot: fuck the steelers

WCS

There it is.comment image

Sharkbait

Good news! The Rangers finally scored a goal! The bad news is that it helps the Maple Leafs playoff chances since they lost to them in overtime tonight.

Senor Weaselo

It was a road goal, doesn’t count.

Sharkbait

After being shut out for 8 straight periods, I’ll take anything at this point. I’m still betting Minnesota to shut them out on the 20th.

Last edited 4 months ago by Sharkbait