Holy cats, y’all.  Lots of ded this week, eh?

Like the Donks before Q4 started, when full plaid mode deployed.  Denver trailed 19-nil after 3, then again 26-8.  But Dart had a brain fart and threw an awful pickerception, getting Denver a chip and a chair, lead cut to 26-23.  Still, had the VEP gotten ONE lousy first down, the game would have been put to bed.  They got 2 yards, incomplete, punt.  Denver got into FG position immediately, then scored 7 a few plays later.

NOTE – 7.  Every Donks TD produced 7 or 8 points (two octopi), whereas the soon-to-be-cut (or perhaps executed) Vertically Enhanced placement man?  Missed not one, but TWO extra points.  The 2nd came…after a stupid-beyond-belief defensive sequence that put the ball on the 1, wherefrom Dart scored to take a 32-30 lead.  TOO SOON, Abed.  Amond Brian Daboll’s several moronic decisions on this day, he CALLED HIS LAST TIMEOUT after Dart was ruled down inside the 1.  With 37 seconds and Denver out of timeouts.  Twenty seconds off the clock HELPS you, moron.  Anyway, VAR overruled and called it a TD anyway.  But the thought still counts.

It took one pass over the middle (that missed the intended receiver by a mile, but Mims caught it anyway), an offside call to the 43 (VEP pass rusher was gimpy and couldn’t get back before the spike), and then a circus catch by Sutton near the 20.  Easy FG for Lionel Hutz, and he converted for a batshit 33-32 win.

Deep.  Exhale.

Also ded (again)?  Jayden Daniels, who popped a hamstring trying to get his fumble back.  Dallas pretty much kicked the Commies’ teeth in both before and after the injury.  44-22, which is a mathematically pleasing final.  At 3-4, Washington might be hanging on by their last two fingernails.

Somehow, the Clips lost ANOTHER offensive tackle.  Herbert threw for elenty-billion yards, but almost all in garbage time.  Fashion died in L.A., too, with their awful mustard poop-looking alternate kit.  They’ll likely be burned after losing 38-24 to the Fat Humps.  Who might be legitimately good, believe it or not.

Our late window’s only consistently compelling game was Packers at Qards, where Jacoby Brissett was again good-just-not-good enough.  Two scoring passes to McBride, but Love converted a late 4th and 2 (down 3 and in FG range), then the defense just held Arizona short in the dying seconds.  27-23, Pack.  Qards are on a 5-game skid, and also officially ded.

Jumping back in time, now.  London got a beans-on-toast brekkie matchup, with The Gospel According to Fatthew throwing FIVE touchdown passes, three to Davante.  The home Jaguras managed just a late, garbage time tally.  35-7, Rams.

Fuckers dies in the 1p window, too.  Wee Bryce left with an ankle owie, but not before scoring all the points (13) that the Black Panthers would need.  J-E-S-T got just two midrange placements from Nick Folk, and I’ve no idea how they managed to score THAT much.  Strawberry Fields was abyssmal again, got benched, then somehow Tyrod Taylor was even worse.  13-6, final.  New York never threatened to tie this.  Aaron Glenn is losing his mind with these chucklefucks.

Philly continues to be the weirdest team in the league, going into Minnesota and leading pretty much all the way, winning 28-22.  BOTH AJ Brown and DeVonta Smith went nuts, and nobody else (very much including Saquon) did even a little bit.  Dakota Jeebus?  Still stupid, still putting up empty calorie numbers.  Time to see what JJ McCarthy can do, and/or trade for a Dingleberry reunion.

Kansas City beat the tar shit out of Vegas, 31-nil.  Mahomes got pulled late in Q3, and I don’t recall the Raiders ever almost scoring.  Or having a pulse whatsoever.  HAI I’M MARK DAVIS can sometimes be patient, but Brady is no doubt seething.

As I type this, Mike McDaniel has yet to be fired.  But HOLY FUCKBALLS, there’s no way he makes it past Monday.  Losing 31-6 is bad enough (and Tua got benched, rightly so) – but losing 31-6 to #ThePauls will get you bye-bye.  Judkins had a really strong game, for reals and one’s fantasies.

Drake Maye broke Tom Brady’s team record for single-game completion percentage (mininum of 20 passes), which made Hippo smile.  The interim-coached Tits continued to sag relentlessly.  P*ts win, 31-13.  Cam Ward looks like he’s in the middle of a constant tornado.

Don’t look now, but the Bearistocrats! have clawed their way back to 4-2.  But I see warning signs in how they let the Saints back into the game, as a 20-point lead shrank to 6.  But the 26-14 final was pretty comfortable, and the running game did the heavy lifting.  I don’t think Caleb Williams is a serious quartered back, in the way that Murrika is not a serious electorate.

That leaves SNF, with Kittle back to aid The Bay Area Legend of White Mac.  Atlanta marched into Santa Clara with a pulse, and proceeded to bore Hippo to death.  Perhaps Q4 of Donks/VEP wore them out, too?  Anyway, I kept watching as demanded by the rules-based order.  Really did start to question some of my life choices, though.  10-3 at the half, but it already seemed over.  I choose not to type further.  Tomsulas will win, guaranteed.

Traditional double-header (ie, late kick at 10p EST), so nap accordingly if you choose to celebrate.  SeaTruthers/500s is at least plausibly nap-worthy.  Failing to plan is planning to fail smgdh.