Woo! That was a humdinger this morning, wasn’t she? (he writes at 8:20am EST) But there’s more where that’s from! Let’s dig in.
To The Games!
Giants/Bears:
Who saw Chicago becoming an offensive juggernaut after the first three weeks of the season? Since then they’re a top five offense and have gone 5-1. It didn’t take much time at all for Ben Johnson to make an impact. The Bears D is a different kind of animal though-they have the knack for both generating turnovers and giving up explosive plays which for the neutral fan makes them interesting. Thank god the Giants upgraded their wr room at the trade deadline. Wait, they stood pat with their thumbs up their ass? Huh. At the very least we’ve got a battle between two zesty young QB’s.
Bills/Fins:
Buffalo has lost a few d-linemen so can they get pressure on Tua? Kidding! It doesn’t matter at all. The Bills offense is going to steamroll a Miami D unit that is primarily composed of green flags, turnstiles and daydreams.
Ravens/Vikes:
I call this game Prince’s Mansion because there’s nothing but purple as far as the eye can see. Baltimore’s D is slowly, ever so slowly turning around and McCarthy looks like he might just be getting comfortable with all the weapons he has on hand. But I think the Ravens have a sense of urgency that their opponent lacks and that will carry the day and the score.
Browns/Jets:
Take the under and back away slowly from this one.
Pats/Bucs:
Game of the Week or Game of the Formerly Weak? These are two teams that are ascending far faster than anyone (outside their fanbases) could have anticipated. The QB play in this game should be the decider and as well as Maye is playing I think Baker is the last-minute difference-maker today.
Saints/Panteros:
Carolina is most likely to be 6-4 when the clock has run out. You heard that right.
Jags/Texans:
Will either of these teams be able to move the ball? Houston’s D is going to make Prison Girlfriend wish he was on parole. But then again, how much do you think Davis Mills is going to accomplish? First team to 150 yards of offense wins.
Do your thing.
This Cam Little. I call him Carlos Hathcock because he’s about to end a motherfucker from a mile away.
This Aged Poorly
Save it for another week. Its a keeper.
We’ve reached the point where the FG Target Line is Midfield.
Sure, the Jaguras D is turrible, but the offense is even worse!
So close to a Game Winning 2-Point Defensive Conversion…
lol Duval
Lmao, even.
So I guess I can go ahead and drop Jaxxxxxxxxxxon after this Dak! bye week, huh?
Bullseye!
Well Vikings, miss Darnold yet?
Like McCarthty keeps missing his receivers!
That game just took five years off my life.
At least it’s the shitty ones at the end.
Ever since Pops LaCross started hospice care at my house and we started watching these games together, the Bears are 6-1.
My dad died two days after the Steelers won the Superbowl.
Daboll with that, “I can’t believe that offensive play that I designed wasn’t successful” for the 150th time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXLRHPf5oms
Too bad the Jaguars D is only built to play 3 quarters. If only someone would tell them there are 4 in American Football.
Do the Jaguars have a defense?
“What do you want from us? We’re the Jacksonville Jaguars!” is their most used defense.
A Molotov cocktail, but that usually just results in a new set of problems.
Giants talk radio will be magnificient tomorrow!
“The Pope may be a Chicago fan, but that doesn’t matter because there is no God.”
Time to play “How Will Russell Wilson Mess Up This Game Winning Drive”!
You winner, as always, wounded duck on 4th and long!
unless that coach is named mike vrabel, if you hire a bill belichick coaching tree asshole you should be catapulted into the atlantic ocean automatically
Daboll may be fired on the sideline before the clock hits :00.
Wow. A Bear just took a giant dump in the Jersey woods
LOL Giants
Giganteschiesse > Bearsenschiesse
THE BROWNS!
What the Glory Banging hell is going on in The Meadowlands?
Cleveland Clevelanded.
As if being a Black Panthers fan isn’t bad enough, I’m also a Norwich FC fan
Is a Norwich loss a sandwich?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=031vKBPk5eA
TREVEYON HENDAHSON YOU AHH THAH ONLY OHIO STATE GRAD I WILL EVAH APPRECIATE
WE AHH GOIN’ TO THAH FACKIN’ SUPAH BOWL!!! NO ONE DENIES THIS!!!
Really? What if you had a successful operation and it turned out the surgeon was a graduate of AHAHAHAHA I can’t keep this charade up any longer of course I am kidding.
With everything else going to shit in the world today, I don’t think I want the P*triots to be good on top of it all.
Seeing Josh McDaniels not only continue to be employed in the NFL, but to thrive makes me quiver with unadulterated rage.
MLB betting scandal: Guardians pitchers Emmanuel Clase, Luis L. Ortiz indicted – CBS Sports
Factory is working overtime for this one!
if you have a gambling account with one of the major gambling sites, stop right now
most of what you are seeing, and losing money on, is probably not legit
Was it ever?
McCarthy displaying that bately-legal energy ☝🏼
Come Charmslinger, I know you got a back breaking INT in you for this exact moment of hope!
Even better!
caleb williams is an improved version of justin fields that if the bears back then had a proper coach when they drafted him, they would have by now
THESE VIKINGS I CALL THEM INCELS DATING FEMINISTS BECAUSE EVERY PLAY IS A FALSE START
Daboll doing his best imitation of one of the last survivors of the Franklin Expedition.
mmmmmmmm, that’s good lead poisonin’!
So the Dolphins players don’t want McDaniels fired (this week)? Really?
think they know his job is too tank for draft picks so this game should get him fired tomorrow
5-D chess from brain damage victims. How could it fail?
Nobody circles the wagons like the fumbling Bills!
Okay. what gypsy did Josh Allen piss off to get cursed?
I took a Bye Week Nap. Is Dart ded yet again?
Correct.
Injured P*triot down on the field. HAPPY VETERANS DAY to those that celebrate!
How are we losing to the Saints?!
“The Fat Shithead That Bitched About Everything And Yelled At All Of His Players All The Time.”
-A Football Life, Brian Daboll
DANGER RUSS ALERT
Charmslinger!
Mr. Unlimited!
I think the Bears are gonna score Swiftly, amirite?
Goddamn fucking lawyerball.
Then again, it’s the saints and panthers. Who gives a fuck.
Moral Majority v. Huey Newton
at their best, when they could put a stranglehold on the game, end a long, long road losing streak…
lol gints
Im kinda curious if any of these team had to deal with airport delays… ✈️
Did Miami and Buffalo players trade jerseys BEFORE the game?
Apparently Tomlin isn’t the only one putting out voodoo curses.
In Miami, of course, they call it Santeria
For all you DFO Law Talkin Guys: Kim Kardashian did NAWT pass the bar exam, so it looks like you guys can feel superior to her for a while longer.
Fozzie’s dumbass dog has a better shot at passing the bar. And she’s way prettier.
Shoulda taken it in Arizona
Is that Mormon slang for ‘anal’?
There is limited soaking in Arizona, what with the Colorado River drying up and all, so maybe they use a different term?
The bar exam is no longer required here in Washington, so she can just move.
It’s not required here, either. /shrug
The CA Bar Exam is pretty challenging, so no shame really — that said, however, this is about as surprising as finding out below in the thread that the Verizon Halftime Report is, in fact, brought to us by Verizon.
This is true.
Frankly, I don’t get the hate for her or the rest of her family, but whatever.
I suspect a lot of it is because of what she represents: she’s on TV because she’s famous, and she’s famous because she’s on TV.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9r6yOa9rs20
Cue the Joel McHale bit from The Soup!
I take it back. I get it. I just don’t agree with those sentiments. Not anymore, anyway. It’s not still 2007.
“…Verizon Half Time Report brought to you by Verizon!”
goddammit, Prison Girlfriend.
Visa being the least evil advertiser of the day so far
I picked up Jeudy, but I decided to see what Garrett Wilson could do against Cleveland. Dick. Dick is what he can do against Cleveland.
Buddy Cole logs into Sunday Ticket
Always bet on Judge Jeudy
Shoulda. Didna.
Hahaha, the Bills will eliminate everyone from the DFO eliminator pool.
(Except me because I smartly picked the DONKS on Thursday)
Joke’s on you – I was eliminated a month ago.
BAL vs Min just looks like it’s one team playing both sides of the ball with alllllll that purple