Ides of November 2025 JV NFL Thread

Florida Men (+11.5) at Johnny Reb (7:00, ESPN)

Every Lane Kiffin season has, to date, included a WTF loss.  Recall how their baffling home defeat to Kenfucky kept them out of the 2024 playoffs.  But I think this Johnny Reb bunch is focused enough to avoid the land mine.  Plus, it seems like the heartbreaking loss in World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party has broken the Gators.

Team Secular Big Love (-9.5) at BayBay (7:00, ESPN2)

.Fireworks?  You bet.  White people??  Oh, chuh chuh.

Steerfuckers South (+6.5) at Georgia (7:30, ABC)

Everybody is lining up to punch 3-loss Texas’ ticket, so long as they beat the Dawgs or the Aggies.  Fuck’s sake, do we REALLY need the annoying Arch Manning storyline in December?  Hippo thinks not, GO DAWGS.

Mississippi State (+6.5) at Missouri (7:45, SECN)

Perhaps the SEC’s two pluckiest squadrons.  Mizzou could vent some frustration, or they could be pulled down into the Cowbells’ muck.  We shall see.

Bloodeyes FOAR the Bloodeyes God(s) (+4.5) at Original Recipe Big Love (10:15, ESPN)

Will the Stormin’ Mormons let Guns Up!! beat them twice?  I think it was just a particularly difficult matchup, but this game will tell the tale.

Boise State (+1.5) at JV BOLTMEN! (10:30, CBSSN)

This is classic Tweaker Theatre, enjoy it while it lasts.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Redshirt

SNL made fun of the Trump blowing Bubba email, so expect Agent Orange to declare war on 30 Rockefeller Plaza any minute now.

Last edited 3 months ago by Redshirt
Unsurprised

Why am I reading Reddit?

Anyway. The dinner was nice but I felt awkward as fuck because it was even more people I didn’t know than usual when I go to these lawyer things.

WCS

That was me at every “gathering,” “function,” or “dinner” the ex-wifey would drag me to. I know why I was pickling meself all the time; I loathed those things.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo
WCS

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

All right, time to read a few pages in Blood Meridian and get to sleep. Can’t wait to see what kind of dreams I have!

Unsurprised

“Bet like a Caesar?!?”

Someone please nuke Vegas

Brick Meathook

I know all of you live in wonderful places (and wonderful countries) but Los Angeles California is the greatest spot on this here earth.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Fact check: partially true

SonOfSpam

It’s a Disneyland away from being on par with Anaheim. But it’s still better than Fresno!

WCS
yeah right

We are getting hammered with rain right now.

Serious accumulation.

Brick Meathook

We got no rain in Playa del Rey

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s hitting here now, too.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

San Diego got absolutely shellacked today. Obviously Low Commander’s fault.

Brick Meathook

San Pedro and Glendale are getting fucked because you are sinners. God loves Playa del Rey and moves all heavy weather from us.

Mr. Ayo

Avoid the mudslides. And carry an umbrella.

Unsurprised

what about the bahama mamas?

Senor Weaselo

AKSHULLY the Ides was apparently the 13th.

/Walks into locker

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[locks it shut]

[pours fish soup in through ventilation slots]

yeah right

The news told us to stay home today if possible.

It was!

Just this morning I finished reading LA Confidential. True story, I’ve never seen the movie.

Until just now.

That was not the book I just read.

Where the fuck was Walt Disney?

Where?!

Horatio Cornblower

Yeah, they took a lot out of the book before they made the movie. Thank god.

If you go on to read ‘White Jazz’ you’ll see they borrowed some stuff from that book and threw it into the movie.

yeah right

Exactly. And the Buzz Meeks shit was from The Big Nowhere. He barely showed up in LA Confidential the story.

Horatio Cornblower

That would be pretty tough, since he was dead.

yeah right

White Jazz is next up.

SonOfSpam

Oh, the John Stockton biography.

Horatio Cornblower

It’s not as brutal as The Big Nowhere but it’s pretty rough going.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

On a scale of Browns to Raiders I’d rate it a solid New York Jets.

Horatio Cornblower

Baylor getting held down and scored upon over and over against their will is…fitting.

WCS

Jawja getting fancy!

Horatio Cornblower

Arch Manning really isn’t good, is he?

blaxabbath

He is made to be an NFL stud, you see….

WCS

PAAAAWWWLL sez hes sent from THE LORD to save TEXAS!!11!

//

Paul Finebaum is the modern day Beano Cook. The latter said Ron Paulus would win at least two Heisman Trophies at Notre Dame, while leading them to multiple national championships.
What I’m saying is, all four of them are vastly overrated, and I genuinely don’t understand the appeal of anyone or any entity related.

Redshirt

I’m not saying Cooper’s wife cheated on him, but its a possibility.

Horatio Cornblower

Just cracked my first beer to come down from Fightin’ Horatios, Netball Division, almost blowing a 20-point lead to The Stormin’ Mormons to win by 2.

Good win against the 7th ranked team very early, but a lot to work on.

Now, who’s got some dick jokes?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

A guy goes into a bookstore and says to the clerk, “I’m looking for that new book about living with a small penis.”

“It isn’t in yet,” says the clerk.

“That’s the one,” replies the customer.

SonOfSpam

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Unsurprised

God Fucking Damn It!

I thought it was funny but I hate prison rape “humor” so much i forgot that bubba wasn’t Bill it was just a boomer slur.

Anyway, MAGA is continuing to speed run tearing itself apart. So, yay.

I have had a shitty day week and month so far. Hopefully this thing tonight will be better

blaxabbath

“November typically ends better than it starts, one would think.”

– Guys with mustaches

Mr. Ayo

It’s a good Saturday to hunt sharks.

RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!

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Last edited 3 months ago by Mr. Ayo
blaxabbath

When you guys do PAAAWWWWWLLLL, who is saying it?

Like, I know Tommy from Quiznee sounds like, “The BAHSTAWN COllege Eagles ARE THE HIGHEST FUCKIN’ SOARIN’ EAGLES IN THE DRONE-CONTROLLES SKIES!”

But who says Paul?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The show in question being Paul Finebaum’s:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hm8AqL9FV-o

Horatio Cornblower

You’ll be shocked to hear this, but I believe that asshole turned out to be a retired cop.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Unsurprised

Good god. It will be something when the obvious NCAA gambling scandals blow up.

LemonJello

THIS LONGHORNS DEFENSE, I CALL THESE GUYS GOVERNOR GREG ABBOTT BECAUSE THEY CAN’T MAKE A STAND

Horatio Cornblower

Banner.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I don’t know if the whole country is getting these Raising Cane’s commercials featuring WORLD SERIES HERO Will Smith but it cracks me up that they didn’t even bother to shut the kitchen down to film them – you can see someone working in the background.

Doktor Zymm

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Having muffaletta for dinner. It’s toasting right now and smells amazing

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Thanks, I just chipped a tooth trying to bite my tablet screen.

blaxabbath

What is your choice for that olive relish stuff on yours?

Gumbygirl

I like DeLallos. Most grocery stores carry it, I know Albertsons does.

Doktor Zymm

The whole sandwich is from Central Grocery in NOLA, so its their version

Gumbygirl

The good stuff!

Unsurprised

Why the Hell is it toasting? It’s supposed to be eaten cold.

Doktor Zymm

It’s served both ways and there are directions for serving both ways. I had this one frozen so toasting was the obvious way to go as I wasn’t going to wait half a day for it to defrost or microwave it

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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SonOfSpam

Noticing a complete lack of Bruins-Buckeyes preview.

SHOULD BE A REALLY GOOD GAME! EVEN WITH NICO CONCUSSED.

SonOfSpam

No, this is an unrushed abortion.

WCS

Unrushed Abortion played the second stage at Coachella in 2023. They were… so-so.

Last edited 3 months ago by WCS
Horatio Cornblower

They didn’t even complete their term set!

blaxabbath

I’ve noticed at the gym that shorts/pants with the butt-raising/splitting mode are quite in fashion.

I’m gonna get a muscle suit top to fit in with the fashion.

LemonJello

But what are the ladies wearing?

WCS

lol fuck the ess eee see

WCS

Just make the bracket Ohio State, 4-8 Notre Dame (HURR DURR SKEDULL), and the entire ESS EEE SEE.
It’s inevitable, anyway.

WCS

No, I didn’t. “IT” just doesn’t MEAN MORE in B1G country.

In fact, since “IT” doesn’t MEAN MORE anywhere else but the ESS EEE SEE, just cancel the playoffs and let all the ESS EEE SEE schools play the tournament instead, PAWL!

Doktor Zymm

What’s all this about Information Technology for the Securities and Exchange Commission?

BugEyedBoo

Elon’s running Twitter on their severs now.

Gumbygirl

So do you, but you are from North Cacalacky, so it’s more impressive from a Yinzer.

Gumbygirl

You do a cromulent Tammy from Tuscaloosa impression!

Unsurprised

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