Yes, you get a guest conductor tonight. And boy howdy, do I ever have a RIPE TURD to present y’all.
Cowpersons (-3.5) at Raiduhs (8:15, ABC y ESPN)
The twin visages of HI I’M MARK DAVIS and Creeping Death Jerral Jones. The mind just boggles.
Both of these squadrons are absolutely putrid, but the ‘Persons at least have a competent QB, WR1, and placement man. Vegas has Maxx Crosby and a post-apocalyptic wasteland of immense proportions.
That said, Dallas is absolutely capable of losing anywhere, anytime, anyhow. It’s just an organizational principle at this point in time. They briefly made the Qards look almost competent. You are watching this because you are fond of car crashes/train wrecks/mine detonations, as long as it doesn’t involve sacrificing your own flesh. Hey, don’t feel bad about it. #MeToo.
However, Hippo will at least have the distraction of NC State/VCU hoopsball, as Will Wade (aka “The Man In Black”) has Hippo and all his wolven fellows ALL IN.
Neither Hippo nor Other Hippo has fuckshit MOAR to say. So here’s the best new song Hippo has picked up this month:
Damnit. And now I’m playing ketchup.
That’s about enough of this game for me, I’m gonna see how the protagonist in my book tops himself in the stupid stakes. Most recently he asked a cop if he was there to arrest him before the cop even mentioned his missing wife
“Addition by subtraction, I guess.”
-J Jones
Good things happen when your QB leaves his feet….
Hey everyone, during halftime please seek out Ryan Lizzo’s post about his ex-girlfriend (Olivia Nuzzi). The ending is amazing.
Ok, fine, here’s a link:
https://www.telos.news/p/part-1-how-i-found-out
Sanford and the brain worm guy, wtf.
Oh. My. God.
The thought of those people fucking each other is truly stomach-churning.
Bengals fandom is going into a weird place.
When you see that this Raiders team has 2 wins it really highlights just how terrible the 2017 Browns really were
Didn’t get 17 games to prove themselves.
Yeah, that probably spells the end for my fantasy chances.
“M-O-O-N. That spells insurmountable lead, laws yes.”
A FIFA game just broke out!
Guyton’s got a career in Serie A if this football thing doesn’t work out.
Can the Dallas D and Kicker combine for another 30 points, so I can beat Spam this week in FVFFL?
Prob nawt but a few more sacks and picks pls
I’m gonna vote no on that one, although I think I know someone here who will second your motion.
Sourry about my unbeatable Brissett/Michael Wilson combo this week.
Just like the old Gypsy woman said!
You’re not supposed to call them that anymore. It’s “females” now.
When Kelcy is ones leading scorer with 19 and change points, one does not deserve to win
Miami medical staff, watching #32’s head bounce off the turf: “Hey, get the x-ray machine ready; that guy might have broken a rib”
RRRRRAAAAAAAIIIIIIIDDDDDDEEEEERRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!
Yay!
And also
Ugh!
Same here, but in reverse order.
Maxx Crossbbyy strikes me as someone who is not going to thrive once he leaves the NFL.
You never know, maybe he’ll open a bakery and sell sacks of baked goods
He feels like more of a florist
probably not
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGw0-gLZaMA
Well, that was the worst possible thing that could happen from both a personal rooting interest and fantasy perspective.
Horatio’s odds have gone up considerably:
Oh, 10.5 points for Raccoon With A Meth Pipe!!
(The Dallas pick-6 on the next drive will be a backbreaker)
Malik Hooker almost made me look like a genius right there, and that is hard to do.
This game isn’t nearly as much of a derpy shootout as I was hoping for so far. So annoying when bad teams cancel out instead of amplify their craptitude
I have to say, Raiders fan do have the best costumes.
Yes, it’s very comforting to be able to hide our identities so well.
It’s to hide the tears I assume.
DAK!
Geno Smith every time he drops back (artist’s conception):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRcle-JgnFA
RTD’s Dallas defense gambit seems likely to succeed.
My god that O-line is more theory than fact.
And it’s as much of a theory as “vaccine shedding”.
“Ashton Jeanty’s going to be a good player” says Troy Aikman, then proceeding to list a number of reasons why he won’t be.
Sounds like my performance review.
I’m never willing to pay the surcharge for that. Wait…we’re talking about hookers, right?
When are you not?
When cops are asking me about those banging sounds coming from my trunk, duh.
We are now!
Update from Cam Skattebo. Treating his recovery time exactly as we all expected.
https://x.com/BR_OpenIce/status/1990598875867127866
That’s probably the least surprising thing I’ll see all day.
Seems like a real cement-head.
It’s nice to see George W. Bush seeming so active and engaged, unlike those ten minutes he spent staring off into space on 9/11 when he was told that “America is under attack.”
The Raiders decision not to cover Lamb seems questionable.
“Cover Lamb? Oh, just a little au jus is my preference.”
-Andy Reid, daydreaming in his office with MNF in the background
Update:
Nice!
+5 for Horatio just now.
I have faith that the combination and Dak! and Ferguson will lead me to an agonizingly close loss.
Cerebrial. Kill me now.
Oh Dubya, we didn’t misunderestimate you after all
Wait, not you. Him.
/oh, hi there Mr. Secret Service agent!
“I always enjoyed a bowl of cerebrial on Saturday mornings.”
-Emmitt Smiff
Next week, purdy young. NFL, you got Matt Gaetz attention.
“ChatGPT, use up all the water in the district and tell me how to do a pull up, because not only am I weak I am incredibly stupid.”
Bush just let Peyton know Maduro was also behind a plot to kill his Dad
He also told us there was weapons of mass destruction.
Was Maduro even in any kind of power when Dubya I was a thing?
It’s fun to see the Raiders Spider-2Y-Banana-ing their way down the field.
They were saying that the last time a sitting president went to a game was 47 years ago, so that would be Carter? Who was he a fan of?
Well, he was a Georgian, and he lost, so the Falcons?
s president, Carter attended Game 7 of the 1979 World Series between the Baltimore Orioles and Pittsburgh Pirates—and later invited the Pirates to celebrate their championship at the White House. However, President Carter’s real passion was softball – he frequently organized competitive softball games with Secret Service agents, staff, friends, and family. 5
also fan of stock car racing and the Braves and any atlanta sports
https://www.whitehousehistory.org/jimmy-carter-and-sports
I imagine the Falcons?
believe was in his will not to mention the Falcons
Birds not real.
The Falcons?
Did we ever hear if 2Pak is ok?
Yep, just staying off the internets for the time being
Good idea.
Good, was just a little worried.
Proposed DFO Rule: No one is allowed to go communication quiet without a farewell to show it’s a temporary timeout or a profanity-laden post if it’s a permanent resignation, plus 30 minutes for a rebuttal from everyone else.
Works for me !
He must be, he keeps putting new music out.
I just learned the Cowboys employ a fullback.
Moose Johnston has a side gig as a parking valet at JerralWorld?
I haven’t been drinking much recently, especially at home, so my wine rack is sadly neglected. The book I was reading earlier had a couple mentions of nice reds so having a glass of a rich Cabernet. (The main character is a colossal idiot, it’s not a fantastic book but I really am captivated by the depiction of a complete ass getting himself in trouble in 1900 Venice)
Flashman goes to Venice?
There’s nothing that saddens me more than a neglected rack.
That’ll do Raccoon With A Meth Pipe. That’ll do.
Was listening to Florio and Chris Simms this morning (I know, I know). They opened the show by complaining about their drivers that drove them home right to their doors. Jesus.
Yt ppl problems. smgdh
MY GOTT DAMMED STARS BETTER WIN TONIGHT OR THERE WON’T BE A WHORE OR A PILE OF COCAINE SAFE FROM MY RIGHTEOUS WRATH IN THE GREATER DALLAS FORT WORTH METROPOLITAN AREA!!! YYYEEEeeeeeeHHAAAAWWWwwwwwww I AM FUCKIN’ CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bush and guy Fierre on the manningcast, why.
Because fill in the blank touches themselves, that’s why.
How’d you know my nickname?
Why is your nickname the same as my cousins full name? His sister is FeMali d’Infante.
A war criminal and a guy whose hair is a war crime. Fun!
I’m hoping for a couple shots of HI IM MARK DAVIS and Tonight Girlfriend during the course of this shitocolypse.
So apparently the Saudi Arabian investment vehicle is in talks to acquire Warner Brothers Studios, which as any sleazy Hollywood insider or Eli Manning can tell you owns the film rights to the Harry Potter intellectual property. If this goes through I’m looking forward to the newest chapter: Harry Potter and the Orb of Stupidity.
Harry Potter And Why Trans People Suck was a real turning point in the franchise.
Harry Potter and the Evil SheHe
(in which Hermoine learns a new spell “Addadictome!”)
Rule34 just exploded
Dude, it is way, way past that point.
photos too large to post? i’ll share from a share later
Many thanks to Hippo for filling in last minute. I’m getting pumped!*
*full of drugs and blood, it’s a post-Grey Cup tradition!
It’s the Mexican Super Bowl. Lots of men shaped like my brother and uncles
/Chef’s kiss
.
Whatever you do, DON’T imagine these two chucklefucks doing “2 Girls, 1 Cup”
There is not enough bleach in the world to get that image out of my eyeballs.
I’d stay off Facebook for a while. Sound advice anytime but especially true right now.
And we’re live from the Death Star
Rikki v. Horatio. I’ll try to post periodic updates.
Guess I should have started Hubbard over Vidal. I’d be a whole 4 points closer.
There better be lots of lolz, and I mean a metric fuckton of lolz to make this shit show watchable.
It’s a good thing the Bengals are already cooked, cuz Chase done got himself a game suspension for spitting
🎶 There’s no earthly way of knowing… 🎶