People Are Saying This Is The Greatest Slate Ever!

But it isn’t remotely true. The neutral observer might get a quality hate-watch but otherwise, Oof!

To The Games!

Browns/Raiders:

Two (wins) plus two (wins) equals unwatchable football. If Shadeur gets a W here sports yakkers across the spectrum will be confused, angry and urine-stained. Well, more urine-stained than usual. Will someone please donate a viable offensive line to Jeanty please? Las Vegas is going to ruin yet another naive kid from Idaho. What’s the O/U on Garrett’s sack number, 3.5?

Jags/Cards:

Barring a big surprise Jax is going to be 7-4 and still no one will take them seriously. Every week I ask, “Which Jags team is going to show up?” Prison G. is 2-3 in his last five and sports a 5 TD, 3 INT line-so he’s certainly not the key to their won/loss record. So, I’ll say it again, piling up wins early in the season is absolutely crucial, especially if you experience a mid-season swoon.

Eagles/Cowboys:

Is Philly the worst 8-2 team in the league? Eagles fans seem to think so-they appear to be waiting for the other cleat to drop. “Why aren’t they winning the exact same way they did last year?” seems to be the refrain I hear over and over again. Boo-Hoo, try being a fan on any other team in the division this year. Some folks just can’t handle success, smh.

Falcons/Saints:

Nothing at stake. Nothing worth watching. Unless you’re invested in Shough’s development but then again, you’re probably not his dad.

Type away, minions!