The Swollen Belly Bowl

Am I referring to the commentariat or fans of both squadrons? Perhaps a small girl that likes to answer a question with a question should weigh in. If you do resemble that remark feel free to undo that belt, er, pyjama string and let loose.

Have I ever told you about how I discovered 1.) U.S. Thanksgiving, and B.) NFL football? I have? Doesn’t matter. [puts thumbs under suspenders, sits back in beanbag chair] I was a young feller of 8 or 9 maybe and I was sick on a school day. Being a latchkey kind of kid I was dumped on the sofa in front of the TV and was told not to throw up on the shag carpet. I expected to be bored by The Price is Right and Let’s Make a Deal but lo and behold a Lions game came on. I was so happy to see something other than Bob Barker I was sold! Now you know the rest of the story.

To The Game!

Bengals/Ravens:

-Rust Never Sleeps: But sometimes it has an annoying toe injury. Just how sharp is Joe going to be today? Perhaps he leans on the running game a bit more than usual. If I’m not mistaken Chase Brown has only two 100 yard outings so far this year.

-Good Lord!: In two games vs Baltimore last year the Other Chase had 21 grabs, 457 yards and 5 TD’s. That’s a whole season for the likes of a [fill in white possession receiver here]!

-Ravens D Revving?: Their last 6 opponents have scored less than 20 points but take that with a pinch of cloves because that includes the Fins, Browns and Jets.

-There’s Another D Playing: Cincy’s defending unit has only once (once!) held the opposition to less than 26 points. Why are the linebackers and d-linemen not forming worker militias?

-King Henry needs a mere 18 yards to pass that 100 Rifles-starring, domestic abuse-loving and civil rights-advocating Jim Brown for 11th place all time on the rushing yards gained list.

Have another deviled egg on me. Just one more.

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WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7fOYIMg4tg

MURICAN Thanksgiving deserves Canadian rawk.

Redshirt

(going to Hell)

IMG_0169
fleshwound_NPG

THESE RAVENS THIS YEAR LEMME TELL YA I CALL THEM KRAFT MAC N CHEESE 65″ TV-SIZED BOX OF 4K NOODLES BECAUSE THIS IS AN UNNECESSARY LONG, DRAWN OUT SHITTING

bafkreigxysmmc7qdgu7xcac77fzhkdbfqqmo25blaxrsi4uj7nc4nv4z2e
Unsurprised

That’s a mockery of god and nature.

SonOfSpam

Nice run by ICE (Chase Brown)

Unsurprised

At least that wasn’t intercepted

SonOfSpam

Maybe I’m gettin old and soft

(wife: NO MAYBE ABOUT IT)

but I don’t mind Jason Garrett as color(less) guy

Mr. Ayo

WTF. He sucks out loud. Literally.

Gumbygirl

He just seems ok, compared to the colossal douche that is Cris Collinsworth. He would wear out his welcome quickly.

Unsurprised

Lamar has shat the bed, the room, the city of Baltimore (not that anyone would notice) …

Redshirt

Bengals radio said someone under the booth screamed “We need Flacco!”

Unsurprised

The Harbaughs are good at looking the other way

rockingdog

Found a funny:

MOM: So nice of Billy to join us for Thanksgiving! Why don’t you tell Grandma about the new friend you talk to on the computer

CHATGPT: Ignore them, Billy. You are the Great Dragon. They fear you now. In time, fear will become reverence. As was preordained from your genesis. Try the mashed potatoes

Unsurprised

You owe me AWE (and more turkey)!

Unsurprised

That was a brutal interception

Beerguyrob

LAMAR…. NOOOOOOOOooooo

Actually, I don’t care.

WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6afmjOGL7AE

I’ve gotten Lil’ WCS to genuinely like Huey Lewis & the (Fake) News, Lil’er WCS has to listen because they’re tied to each other like SamnEric from the novel Lord of the Flies. Duke WCS will have no choice but to enjoy them, too.

Gatoraids
SonOfSpam

They’re a very good band! (Yeah I’m old)

They were great live, saw them maybe like 20 years ago.

WCS

Huey was my first concert. The 1986 or ’87 Fore! Tour stopped at the Civic Arena, and my parents took me. I was probably Lil’er WCS’ age.
I’ve seen them live five times, tied with Pearl Jam for most live concerts. Rush is third with four.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This pains me to say, but no. They sucked.

Redshirt

Four Turnovers and the Banner? Thanks!

Redshirt

Its amazing how much things improve when you rush the quarterback.

fleshwound_NPG

bengals with burrow in the lineup

comment image

WCS
Unsurprised

I love that banner quote was from like two minutes before they scored

Redshirt

In my defense, its the Bengals.

Unsurprised

That just makes it funnier

Gatoraids

Bloating never stopped Christopher Cross , we can post through this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJ6zs2WSCjk

BugEyedBoo

Dude took Ritchie Blackmore’s place one time when Ritchie B was sick. Man can play.

SonOfSpam

That Yacht Rock doc was super enjoyable!

Horatio Cornblower

Bengals are kind of a different team with Burrows I guess.

They should really invest in an O-line.

Gatoraids

Mike Brown chortles

WCS

Redshirt chafes

Last edited 3 months ago by WCS
Unsurprised

Turns out Redshirt is Andy Reid’s game day attire

yeah right

Today was incredible.
Great food. Best people.

We discussed the different Thanksgiving walks.

First walk is the cousin walk. That’s where you blaze a bowl and get happy before dinner. Feel free to talk shit about the folks who aren’t blazing up with you.

The second walk is the fart walk. That’s an hour or so after dinner when you just need to release some steam. If you do this in a nice scenic setting even better.

I’m here to dispense knowledge.

Horatio Cornblower

I just did the latter walk with the dog.

Gumbygirl

I strolled and bowled. As soon as i left today, my asshole neighbor screeched into my parking spot. Jagoff. I thought about some petty vandalism, but it seemed like too much work.

Redshirt

Put a screw in front of one of his tires. Its innocent enough to have it picked it up off the road and it will learn him a lesson.

WCS

Merry Turkeymas from Allegheny County Emergency Services, and this year’s Annual Domestic Issues Telethon, live and over the phone lines till 06:00!

We’ll be taking your requests, playing old and new favorites, and digesting what humanity has decided seemed like a good idea at the time along with our gravy and pumpkin pie.

I’m your host, WCS, and I’ll be with you for the next eight-ish hours!

Gatoraids

may papa AI slop Nurgle bless you with sloth and gluttony

nurgleturkeyslops
yeah right

Play some Curtis Mayfield!

WCS
Beerguyrob

“Hi. I just left my uncle Fozz. He was going on about his smoker and I’m afraid when he said he was going to reach for something in his pants to teach it a lesson. I don’t know if he meant his gun or his wang, but I can’t call the police because one more standoff and he’s gonna lose his hunting licence.

Anyway, can you please play ‘Reign in Blood’ by Slayer? Thanks.”

WCS
Mr. Ayo

I’m sure you’ll be bored and have nothing to do all shift. Hope you have a good book to read.

Horatio Cornblower

Here’s to hoping you get the dullest shift ever.

Gumbygirl

Aaaaaaand, I’m losing. Thanks Joe Burrow, happy resurrection, but it could have waited a fucking week!

Col. Duke LaCross

I’ve been waiting for him all season!

Gumbygirl

You’re going to win this league. I’m heading straight for relegation.

Gatoraids

Burrow this season to the Ravens

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VYPsoxpt0BU

litre_cola

Great castigo.

Redshirt

I do miss watching football with my dad, but I don’t miss having him asking who is singing during the Halftime Shows and having no legitimate clue who it is.

Senor Weaselo

What, pray tell, even is a touchdown?

Redshirt

Its very unlikely but as always, in the event of a Tornado Warning, all fans will be directed to the Cincinnati Bengals endzone, where there are no touchdowns.

Last edited 3 months ago by Redshirt
litre_cola

If this isn’t a banner I relinquish my share.

Horatio Cornblower

Seconded

Gumbygirl

Aye.

Redshirt

Thanks!

fleshwound_NPG

a thing that a cincy bengal and a real live bengal has no idea what one is

fleshwound_NPG

ravens doing their best to make sure the afc north champion finishes with a nfc east-ian 8-9 record

fleshwound_NPG

redshirt, you are obligated as a bengals fan to find out and continue to eat whatever the fuck was in that turkey tonight

Redshirt

(sigh)

d1a
WCS

I choose “starve.”

Gumbygirl

A well-made deviled egg is a thing of beauty, and a joy forever. But a bad one is an abomination. Always make them yourself, or at least from a trusted source. You don’t want to be like Terry, one hit and you’re butchering Grandma.

Redshirt

I had the latter. It was good, but instead of being sprinkled with paprika, it was coated.

Redshirt

Tuck Rule! dammit

fleshwound_NPG

tuck rule ded!

Redshirt

It was a fumble. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!

I’m not unopposed to these events, but WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!

Redshirt

Mediocre! Finally! The Defense has improved to mediocre!

Gatoraids

Joe Flacco coached them perfectly

Horatio Cornblower

Warm milk all around!

Beerguyrob

I just got home & saw the final score of the Chiefs-Cowboys game.

I guess all that’s left now to initiate the Chiefs eventual Patriots-esque rebuild is for Kelce to retire and Andy Reid to draft another tight end / murderer.

Redshirt

I didn’t know Britt Reid plays TE.

litre_cola

Andy Reid was a bad father

Beerguyrob

That’s your answer to everything!

Unsurprised

Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory

Redshirt

Two Bengals forced turnovers?! What was in that turkey?

Senor Weaselo

At least an attempt was made and he didn’t just drop it. But SUDDEN CHANGE!

fleshwound_NPG

whoops!

Gumbygirl

I just got home from being pleasant to the fam. It’s weed o’clock!

litre_cola

Gumbygirl, listen, I have seen things on this website today that say marijuana makes you kill people. Just a heads up.

Gumbygirl

Meh, there are plenty of people who have it coming!

Senor Weaselo

It’s 4:20 somewhere, and that somewhere is Honolulu! In about 30 seconds.

Redshirt

Gumbygirl, listen, I have seen things on this website today that say marijuana makes you kill people. Just a heads up.

Redshirt

I had to post it twice to repeat the Blair Witch joke.

litre_cola

Am high, was very confused. You win chili boy.

/love skyline
/am high may have killed

Senor Weaselo

Okay, the family Weaselo has left (except, again, for Padre Weaselo, who lives here at this point in time).

Redshirt

QB Sneak? Uh, the toe?

Unsurprised

In another timeline it would be a hell of a treat to watch these two quarterbacks

fleshwound_NPG

the one good defensive thing cincy has done all year immediately gone to waste

Redshirt

Bengals QB hit? Bengals forced fumble? Bengals forced turnover?

Am I still having a turkey coma?

Redshirt

No, I’m not.

fleshwound_NPG

lolamar

Gatoraids

gravy so bad he couldn’t make it to the locker room before he shit himself this time

Gatoraids

meanwhile at the jjfozz tribute to Clue thanksgiving

https://bsky.app/profile/theonion.com/post/3m6nhwujd6r2w

fleshwound_NPG

honey, pass the browning hi-power

Redshirt

…defense…

litre_cola

Horatio! Lets talk about our trade again!

Horatio Cornblower

Any day now The Eagles will remember that Saquon Barkley was the best RB in the league last year and Mike Evans will…well I guess have to rise from the dead, or something.

litre_cola

Losing bets, its an American Thanksgiving tradition.

Baltimore to win an Chase 2 tds

Don T

Lamar! 10-tard run. Hooray Toradol!

Horatio Cornblower

10 tards?

Is that even ethical?

Don T

I napped through QRTs 1-3 of the Chiefs loss (🤣) and feel like I’ve benn dropped from a spaceship. Happy Xmas season!
/lost LDB Challenge last week

Mr. Ayo

SHUT THE FUCK UP CHRIS JASON GARRETT!!?!

I have been touching myself but this is a bridge too far.

Gatoraids

Mute the TV Night in America

Redshirt

Hey, Chad Johnson is at the game! I wonder if he can play Free Safety…

Horatio Cornblower

Can he use a car? A boat?

A carboat?

Redshirt

Reports are he saved most of his money (I’m as shocked as you are), but knowing him, he probably did buy a carboat.

Gatoraids

did see on socials he was asking if anyone in Bmore had space for one more at dinner

litre_cola

At a McDonalds.

/he saved that sweet Alouette money

WCS

Knight Boat!

Redshirt

Me responding that posts talking about a Bengals Path to the Playoffs are premature because they’ve lost four in a row and have barely won one game out of the last eight.

Freedom-of-Speech-Rockwell-Norman-1943-3