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Houston Going To Play For Real Stakes?

scotchnaut

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They could very will nudge the Chiefs out of the playoffs with a win here. Are they capable? Let’s take an ill-informed look.

To The Game!

Texans/Chiefs:

-K.C. is in “do or die” mode and they have to face that defensive front that fears no one. “Not Good, Bob!”

-These fellas met twice last year with the Chiefs winning both times.

-One can revel in Houston’s incredible defense but that O is horrible in the Red Zone. As well, though they’re not as feared as in years past, the K.C. D at home is allowing the fewest points allowed per play.

-Does Woody Marks’ rushing prop of 49.5 look a bit low to you? Speaking of, Jayden Higgins’ prop of 35.5 receiving yards looks very beatable despite the fact he’s only the 2nd-best Higgins in the league.

-Mahomes has started looking for Kelce again and the tight end has responded-he’s scored a TD in three of his last five fixtures.

Gimme some of that good stuff.

 

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Unsurprised

-2 ground yards. Nice work, fellas.

0
Horatio Cornblower

So UConn is predicted to play in the Gasparilla Bowl, (is this accurate? MAYBE!), so I looked it up and found out it’s named for a mythical pirate and now I really want them to play in it.

Ahoy, Matey!!

3
Beerguyrob

Aww man, almost another Doink.

IMG_2232
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Horatio Cornblower

Man, if Buttker missed that one as well I might have broken multiple ribs laughing at him.

Fucking twatwaffle.

5
Redshirt

Uh oh. Mahomes has a bit of a hitch in his get-along.

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Unsurprised

HAHAHAHA

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Beerguyrob

I’m very much enjoying all the Notre Dame hate today.

IMG_2231
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Unsurprised

That’s not hate. Hate is wishing everyone at ND is never allowed to leave the city limits of south bend combined with forced immortality

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Horatio Cornblower

But not eternal youth.

That’s important.

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Unsurprised

Of course. But we don’t need to go through the full terms and conditions like Simonists.

3
yeah right

Lasting memory from 1993. Kansas city had the biggest crowd participation doing the macarena of any stadium ever.

They tried to do that shit at a Raiders game and the crowd booed that idea down.

Different time.

4
WCS

Had to bring out the “Dad Voice” with me first caller of the night.

To be fair, he did have plenty of reasons to be pissed the shit off.
One thing I’ve noticed: when you tell someone if there is an additional accident or some kind of issue while you are chasing whoever hit you, YOU are responsible for whatever else happens. Regardless of how irate the caller is, that’s an instant ice bucket challenge to their senses, and they stop immediately.

Also, hello everyone.

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Gumbygirl

.

1000008491
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Unsurprised

Not applicable in Florida.

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Horatio Cornblower

I can report that the penultimate episode of “I: Welcome to Derry” sucked out loud.

I take no joy in reporting this.

0
yeah right

Like you expected something different from a Stephen King production?

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Horatio Cornblower

Nope. I’ve been enjoying this season, (although a couple of the ‘scare’ attempts have been laugh out loud funny), but I knew I’d be getting donkey punched at some point, and tonight was that night.

1
Beerguyrob

With or without Edward Furlong?

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Horatio Cornblower

No Edward Furlong sightings so far.

1
Unsurprised

On more interesting topics, I’ve seen Predator Badlands. It sucks. Not as much as Running Man sucks, but close.

Last edited 4 months ago by Unsurprised
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WCS

Well, that’s disappointing. Unsurprising, but disappointing still.

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Horatio Cornblower

I’ll probably watch both, in the comfort of my home. I can pop my own corn, put it on pause when I need to pee, and most importantly, just turn the fucking thing off when it turns out it sucks.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The first thirty seconds or so of the preview genuinely made me think it was a video game.

0
Unsurprised

It may as well be animated like a Pixar movie

1
yeah right

I can’t trust a referee that calls a penalty on the “olfense.”

Won’t do it.

1
Doktor Zymm

Maybe the offense is olfactorially offensive?

2
yeah right

I have no doubt.

1
Gumbygirl

Maybe he meant LOLfense?

2
Horatio Cornblower

Probably using that Johnny Depp cologne.

1
Don T

I can’t believe I’m riding the Fantasy Khunt Gravy Train 😝

2
Doktor Zymm

I hope Buttface misses the extra point

1
Redshirt

Battle Red Blog
@battleredblog
I just want to talk, #Texans guards. No, don’t mind the baseball bat.

Texans Fan Twitter may be going to a dark place.

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Unsurprised

The Texans guards, being Texans, should be assumed to have guns.

Which is to say that their fans are dumb and apparently underarmed.

Last edited 4 months ago by Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

I overate homemade turkey meatballs and steamed vegetables and I know that the best way to alleviate this is actually to move, but there is no will left in me to get off the couch.

1
Brocky

Hmmm,sounds like you need some extra motivation

comment image

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Doktor Zymm

Nico Collins is pretty good at this ‘catching footballs’ thing

1
Gumbygirl

Of course he is- Spam has him. I think I’ll end up with the Iowest point total this season. I wonder who lucky # 4 is, going down with you, me, and the Rev?

0
Doktor Zymm

Hi Doink! Lovely to see you!

6
WCS

BWAAAAOONNNGGGG

(sounded extra strange on the radio)

7
Brocky

As someone who has been very reluctant to hop on the anti KC bandwagon,

Its still funny as hell to watch butker fuck up

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Doktor Zymm

BACK TO THE KITCHEN WITH HIM

7
yeah right

Can’t let them break the apron strings.

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LemonJello

DOINK says “FUCK YOU,BUTKER!”

Such a satisfying sound.

8
Mr. Ayo

DOINK!

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Unsurprised

DOINK!

5
Redshirt

DOINK!

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Unsurprised

What the fuck was he thinking!?!

0
Brocky

I don’t know, that was an idiotic play call to begin with, game is on the line, don’t make your qb feel like he has to play hero-ball….

Oh we’re talking about the Sunday night game, my mistake. I’m still hung up on the bears

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Unsurprised

I should have asked that about the maybe five people who haven’t done stupid shit today.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Honestly, everything was in place, he just happened to make a terrible throw.

1
Redshirt

Chiefs Nation? Welcome to the Offseason.

2
Gatoraids

Nice int of Mahomes by the Great Gazoo

6
Downfield Matriculator

Holy crap, I was thinking the exact same!

Andy Reid would make a good Fred Flintstone .

3
Don T

Evening. I’m spoiling some TARIFF whisky with milk and cinammon #FestiveWOOOOOO

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I recently noticed that our cinnamon is ten years past its expiration date.

0
ThePirateSloth

RIP Eddie

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1
jjfozz

In this episode of “What The Fuck is Up?” we try and see if we can fit a football into Collinsworth’s throat.

Good God, man, go give yourself a bleach enema and fucking die in pain.

5
jjfozz

I thought Kelce’s charity work would be with varsity football players accused of date rape, and how to beat the charges.

1
Downfield Matriculator

The country has an entire network of high school coaches and local car dealers working on that issue.

4
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

How to pressure your staunchly pro-life girlfriend into getting an abortion.

0
Doktor Zymm

Insurmountable lead?

0
Mr. Ayo

The booing will continue until the lead is mounted.

3
Doktor Zymm

“The Booing” is the name of TayTay’s next album

5
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ooh! It’s a ghost story concept album?

0
Mr. Ayo

JFC BLEEERGH. You’re on national TV. Get your shit together.

2
jjfozz

I did take a “nap” which was interpreted as “passing out” by my wife.

“You mean like when you ‘treat yourself’ versus ‘breaking the goddamn budget on a completely unnecessary purchase’”?

I wish I said this, but I was wiping drool off the side of my face.

6
LemonJello

Your’s, or the dog’s?

4
Redshirt

P. Mahomes: 1 rec. -10 yards.

Patrick Mahomes better turn that around or else Patrick Mahomes isn’t going to be looking Patrick Mahomes’ way anymore.

6
litre_cola

Wonder what the O/U was in this because this is ugly.

0
Redshirt

Its not on the board at Hard Rock Bet. If it was, I’d be tempted to put $25 on +1.5 Mahomes Receptions and see if I’m one Andy Reid trick play away from having Christmas paid for.

3
Doktor Zymm

Self pass!

0
Doktor Zymm

Ah crap, just remembered I have to go back to work tomorrow

8
Mr. Ayo

The volcano lair can take care of itself for a day.

6
SonOfSpam

Nice to see Christian Kirk survive the ground.

3
Redshirt

Houston has a better record than Kansas City after 12 games, as everyone predicted.

0
Mr. Ayo

The kitchen brigade is ded. RIP Chefs.

0
Redshirt

That’s one way to protect your Draft Position.

IMG_2635
2
Unsurprised

Remember when we hated that account for stealing KSK Kontent?

2
Mr. Ayo

Shut the fuck up Cris!

Might have to use the mute button for this one.

5
Unsurprised

There’s also SAP or the Spanish telecast on Peacock.

0
ThePirateSloth

Current status: not being ready to handle Eddie’s death

comment image

5
SonOfSpam

Yeah that sucked, but at least he died jamming.

4
litre_cola

Andy Reid read the title of this post as Steaks, and is really pissed that there are no beef pics.

4
Redshirt

Watching Star Trek: Voyager and its approaching one of my favorite episodes “Night”, wherein the crew after spending five years avoiding weekly catastrophe has suddenly found themselves having to travel 2-3 years with plenty of fuel and supplies for the journey, with no stars, planets or aliens of the week trying to kill them…and the show presents it as a issue with the crew.

As if the Universe has given them a vacation where all they have to do is “keep the ship going straight” and it is being portrayed as a serious problem.

4
ArmedandHammered

Would you want to spend that long uninterrupted with that bunch? All the extraneous shit keeps them from killing each other.

1
Horatio Cornblower

I agree with repo-baby Chris Simms that Josh Allen is a modern-day John Elway, in that Allen is never gonna win a Super Bowl until he gets an All-World RB who doesn’t get half the credit he deserves.

5
Redshirt

Bills loss: “Season’s over. Blow it up.”
Bills won: “Super Bowl bound! Build the statue!”

1
Gumbygirl

I have Pacheco! I’m down by almost 30 points, but Yahoo sez I have a chance. Go Chefs, Chef it up against the imaginary Texans.

7
litre_cola

In 1 league I need Kelce to get 30 pts to make the playoffs. Nawt happening.

0
Redshirt

I really need to get involved in Fantasy Football so I know what you all are talking about.

1
Unsurprised

Especially since it’s the excuse gambling used to get its foot in the legal door.

0
Mr. Ayo

WTF. This is the first time I’ve ever heard of the second Higgins. And Scotchy has him in his lineup? We’re through the looking glass folks.

Fortunately, I’m apparently the nicest guy that ever existed so it won’t matter when he scores 3 TDs.

5
Unsurprised

It’s a shame abortion is illegal in both states where this would be played because both teams need to be killed before they come to term.

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