It sure seems like we are headed that way. Villa started out like ass, now they are hot on Handsome Mikel’s tail (PHRASING!). The filthy Redshite pulled off almost the exact inverse of Villa, to Hippo’s Bitter Blue glee. Nobody knows exactly how the Euro-slots after King’s Afrikan Water Pistols and City of Men.
The open question for me…why has it all left me so cold? I dunno, but here I am anyway. I do watch the fixtures, most of the time. I enjoy some of them quite a bit, and not just based on outcome. Perhaps everything has been warped because of the wildly entertaining, Notre Dame-fuckening few months of JV NFL we had. Without its warming glow for my non-soul, maybe I will develop MOAR interesting things to say. Then again, maybe not.
No early bird special today, but you get Chelski taking out their frustrations on No-Longer-That-Disappointing-YET Everton (10:00), followed by Litre’s Mighty Whitey trying to force JJ Watt’s White Lives Matter into a day off (12:30). The aforementioned Handsome Mikel (who is EXTRA handsome when mildly annoyed) gets a bye week, home to hapless Wolves (3:00).
UPDATE – FRONKANALYSIS FOLLOWS!
Chelsea v Everton (+420) 10:00 a.m. (EST) – This will be the last game Moises Caiciedo misses from that red card he took against the gunners. Cole Palmer and his ridiculous pelt are both match fit, so all that remains is to see if he’s named to the starting 11 tomorrow. I think they’re running into a buzzsaw tomorrow, though. David Moyes has a legit shot at qualifying for European football next season, and I think he’s going for it full throttle. Ownership must be over the fucking moon at the prospect of introducing their brand new stadium to European fans of absolutely every stripe. Give me the underdog here.
Liverpool v Brighton (+360) 10:00 a.m. (EST) – It looks like Arne Slot and Mo Salah have cleared enough of the air that Salah will play tomorrow. Won’t know if he’s in the starting 11 until lineups come out tomorrow, though. Brighton is getting a hell of a lot of guys back from injury just in time for this one: Mitoma, Milner, Ayari, and Tom Watson (not that one). That combined with the overall crappiness of Liverpool’s play lately could kick the morning off with a happy hippo.
Burnley v Fulham (-110) 12:30 p.m. (EST) – A win here would be far more important for Burnley, but Craven Cottage is a monstrously loud place to play and, more importantly, BOTH their right and left defensive backs, Lucas Pires and Kyle Walker respectively, will be OUT serving yellow-card suspensions. In my mind’s eye, I can already see Raul Jiminez snapping headers into the ol’ onion bag.
Arsenal v Wolves (+2200) 3:00 p.m. (EST) – This is why Arsenal went out and got Gyokeres. They need him to score goals in bunches against bad teams to make games against them non-competitive. Arsenal has lacked a killer instinct under Mikel Arteta, and so far, this guy has not been the answer. Hell, I think Eze has more goals. Arsenal has the talent to sprint out to an insurmountable lead and win handily here, but if form holds, they won’t. They’ll win, but I expect Wolves to hang around like a freakin’ spider.
Palace hosting City of Men will highlight the Sunday slate (9:00), before a bumper NFL crop.
I’ll be fucked if I acknowledge (beyond this sentence) whatever shitshow Pete Hegseth and Herr Fuhrer will make of the Army/Navy game.
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