Well, here we are. There are few people less qualified to do rundown of tonight’s game but I’ve been winging these things for quite some time now so whatever. But first, a few wee news items and notes.
Fallout:
-Of course the first is that the Pegula’s dropped the bomb on Bills coach McDermott to some surprise. It’s always risky to move on from a leader of men that made such a difference to Buffalo’s fortunes. Since he became coach the team has scored the most points and allowed the least-their point differential is 900+ and no other team is at 600. But he didn’t beat the teams he had to beat at the expected times so he’s gone.
-GM Beane is no longer, but only because he was kicked upstairs to President of Football Operations. That’s what not being able to find a wide receiver gets you.
-The Fins pivoted to the defensive side of the ball after shedding themselves of Daniel. (funny that teams do this all the time). Jeff Hafley, DC for the Packers for two years and a losing coach (22-26) at Boston College, is the hire. That makes eight straight coaches brought on board by Miami that have no NFL head coaching whatsoever. I guess the other side of this is that they don’t go down the Retread Road.
-Zach Charbonnett threw his ACL out of whack so he’s not available anymore for the Seahawks.
To The Game!
Miami/Indiana:
-Peeking in at the La Batard show there would appear to be excitement in the air all over town. Btw, it’s pretty much the worst platform to go to for actual analysis. They do love fighting and talking over each other on that show.
-It being the feel-good story it is, 78% of the betting money is on the Hoosiers.
-Sporty types down in Florida have their own happy tale to tell and that is Cristobal resurrecting the program from the dregs of several lousy seasons. There’s also the “Immigrant from Cuba does good” angle although he was born here. Kudos to him though for giving his hard-working parents credit whenever he can.
-Has there ever been a 2-loss National Champion? My guess is no.
-As stated before it is strange to see Indiana where it is but to have them be a juggernaut? That wasn’t remotely expected.
-They’ve played only three one score games this year.
-Let’s all recall that Miami got in at the expense of Notre Dame and laugh.
Have at it.
A Decree from the Fozz Kingdom:
My knights, assassins and royal poisoners are pledged to track and then kill the kid from the Taco Bell chicken tenders commercial.
No mercy will be granted.
He truly is a demon from hell and must be vanquished.
Honestly, you won’t have to use them. Kid’s already consuming Taco Bell, already getting plenty of poison.
Holly Rowe patted Michael Irvin on the nose
Nice try, Mendoza. Vegas is gonna draft you anyway.
I know they get paid now as they should, but in a presser Beck said he graduated 2 years ago and doesn’t have any classes. That should be against the rules no? Student athletes should at least have to take Rock for Jocks, or Clouds. (I did)
U*NC pretty much got that last vestige of rule wiped off the books.
Welp…
This drive needs to take 7-8 minutes, and end with a 17-nil scoreline.
……
https://bsky.app/profile/foiaball.com/post/3mcsz4otrpc27
Currently having a 7.4% in Cignetti-speak
I just poured a 9.5. But I don’t have a problem, it tastes like a 4.2
I think Guinness is surprisingly a 4.2 so are you having a stout?
educational
https://www.thetakeout.com/1975044/worlds-strongest-beers/
Nice to be back. Perhaps the commentists will stop making fun of the pedo rapist felon president who smells of ass.
Perhaps.
Perhaps not.
Perhaps I can attach a goshdarned attachment?
.
What shitty, poorly-themed, and completely inane halftime show do we get?
I’m guessing a BRO COUNTY SUPERSTAR I’ve never heard of, and kind the vast majority of actual audience in attendance hasn’t heard of, either.
That brand of “country” is just suburban kids wearing cowboy hats (which are western not southern) and singing American Idol crap songs about fantasy places that never existed and never will.
And yet, not only is it “popular,” it makes billions.
IT MAKES NO SENSE
bands denied
J
K
L
N
no wait L
dammit
Q
Q
Another Q…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTBuj9TC-40&pp=ygUhcGV0ZXIgZ3JpZmZpbiBvbiB3aGVlbCBvZiBmb3J0dW5l0gcJCU8KAYcqIYzv
Glad someone got it.
When my son was a wee boy,he would get to the L in the alphabet song and sing “lalalala P”
GOALIE FIGHT!
https://x.com/br_openice/status/2013423018064642203
The best part is the Florida goalie started that fight, went across the entire ice, yet they got handed his ass.
rough nite for miami teams so far
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ifqx0RgXWxM
I regert I have but one +1 to give.
(wipes tear) it’s so beautiful
Cignetti’s reaction to everything ever:
If his halftime speeches are as good as Twelve’s, that would explain why Indiana keeps winning.
“You will defeat Miami and you will do it now or I will rain hell on you for the rest of time.”
Announcer: “Media Timeout.”
DFO Website: “You’re the boss.”
Me: “No, that doesn’t mean-”
DFO Website: 524 – A timeout occurred
lil doinkin
Clowns got no reason to live
Well the site may have been out of commission, but DOINK sure wasn’t!
BONGGGGG
That’s an interesting way to admit that the drunken hayseeds who form the foundation of your conference are too smooth-brained to recognize that “warning” and “timeout” mean the same exact thing in this context.
2 Request Crew
Let go o move something
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lADS0imgGn0&list=RDlADS0imgGn0&start_radio=1
hello
We need to stop requesting and start ordering!
Hey, we’re back!
oh thank god
We’re back!
For now…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzjfrdcN1Z8
We had a small earthquake a couple of minutes ago, jolted the site back on!
It was probably some Indiana mouth breathers jumping up and down for the TD
It was a few seconds before the touchdown. Right when I got back from my walk, you’re welcome Brocky!
Blonde Robot for AT&T looked it was going to leap out of my TV screen and try to kill me….
My next door neighboUr (in a townhouse complex, no less) is a Purdue grad, so I do have some “Marshall Whitman” fears if Indiana were to win.
But fuck it, take a chance ah is wearing mah IU sweatshirt
…and the Skycast has missed the Opening Kickoff despite having the visual range of the entire damned field. That’s a good sign.
Like the Hoosiers, WVU has exactly zero national championships to its name. In fact, WVU has the most wins of any program without a natty. Awesome.
IU winning shrinks that list, but Miami always beat the shit out of the Mountaineers.
I don’t know what to do here.
Meteor, Tsunami or sudden, rapid increase in ocean level?
They had their chance in 88
And ’93.
The answer is drugs.
Always.
I’m not sure if Michael Irvin offering the ref a key bump during the coin flip is really that smart…
I mean it wouldn’t hurt to keep their attention on the game.
I realize everyone is looking for a rooting interest. To help, I present to you, Ms. Abella Danger
She Looks like a wax museum statue.
honor her cervix at half
I want to root for Indiana, but common sense and history prevents me from going for it.
Best I can say is, I’d be happy if Miami doesn’t win, due to how much they pissed all over the Ohio State’s 2002 National Championship (first championship game I watched with my Dad).
However, I am morbidly curious how a coked-out-of-his-mind Michael Irvin would react to a championship win, so I am not entirely against Miami.
I like the Irvin angle, but Miami also has Lil Marco and Tebow on the sidelines, so fuck them. Irvin will be coked up win or lose.
Is John Cougar Mellencamp in the hizzy?
He’s smokin cigs in a Pink House somewhere.
Jack’s upstairs, Diane is on the couch.
sucking on a chili dawg
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/1labodJs81I
The heroes we need, but not the heroes we deserve.
Of all the people I talked to yesterday not a single one was even so much as neutral on the Bears building a new stadium in Indiana. Every single person thought it was a horrible idea.
Next thing you know, some damn fool is going to build a stadium in New Jersey for one of New York’s teams.
HellLOO Jamal!
…FUCK YOU AGENT ORANGE
Oh, and GO HOOSIERS!
My grandfather and my two great uncles circa 1954
Now THAT is how you wear a fedora without looking like a creep!
Those dudes didn’t have a bunch of money, but man they could dress. I still have my grandfather’s camel hair coat that’s 100% pure cashmere. No way that was purchased from a store. definitely fell off a truck.
I was a bandwagon U fan LIKE WE ALL WERE back in the day and I have no reason to change that today when the opponent is goddamn fucking Indiana.
I don’t know how many of you have actually visited Indiana, but it is worse than the DFO jokes. Fuck Indiana as a state, a university, and as a dog. The professor gets a pass.
2 b FARE, I have also been to Miami/Ft. Lauderdale, and that place sucks out loud too. EVERYBODY is just a rude, flaming fucking asshole. Least considerate folk I have ever come across.
Fellas, fellas, calm down.
You’re both right!
Fair?
I don’t see no circus tents.
As I’m sure you’re all extremely interested, the Ice Stillers just stuffed the Kraken back in their container for another few days. 6-3 is the final.
Sidney and Geno took Ovie and the Crapitals making the playoffs last season personally, and are going to drag this franchise back to the post-season, AND IT’S AWESOME.
HOOSIER DADDY! I am firmly, emphatically, categorically on Team Brocky tonight. Let’s fucking goooooo!
I’ve spent all day hanging out with a coworker IRL, since most of the people I actually work with daily are remote, and he had a genuinely brilliant recommendation for the Broncos: hire Cam Newton.
If he sucks, bring in Stitty. If he is good, then it’s a Cinderella story. If he is meh, just have him be on the sidelines boosting morale and giving coaching tips to the QBs.
He’s my favorite of the names I’ve seen floated. He’s not a million years old and he’s open to playing again. Also, his Owl was the last one played in Santa Clara so there’s some nice symmetry there
Against Denver.
Kaepernick would be funnier though.
Yes, but I will play in a Super Bowl before he does.
Old Man Rivers was only floated (heh) when they were down to like QB5. They didn’t have anyone left who’d been in the building all year (except the guy who put his eye out earlier in season) with ANY playbook familiarity.
Stidham is bad, but an adequate QB2. I’d still, aside from the humoUr potential, prefer Ehlinger or even DiNucci (who’s been on/around the roster/PS before under Fatty’s system) before we start pulling in randos.
I assure you that Cam Newton is a Prime Suspect in 99% of the ZIP Codes he drives through.
I’ve always hated the U, and my son got into Indiana, so I guess go hoosiers?
Aw snap, what program? And what year?
CALL ME A TEENAGER WATCHING RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK BECAUSE I’M ROOTING FOR INDIANA; ALSO I HATE NAZIS
Counterpoint: Indiana has a strong Klansman history.
Inshallah, Hippo has even read that booky-book (yet another flawless scotchnaut recommend).
Counter-counter-point: Florida blows in all ways.
Both places do.
And Trump is in attendance, so how bout a meteor?
Ladies and Gentlemen, I will now present the 4 possible scenarios that can occur from tonight and tomorrow’s games, and will give my estimation on their odds:
Scenario 1:
Chicago wins and IU wins?
Odds: 0%
Scenario 2:
Chicago wins and IU loses?
Odds: 0%
Scenario 3:
Chicago loses and IU wins?
Odds: 0%
Scenario 4:
Both Chicago and IU lose?
Odds: 100%
Because we all know how much God hates me. Ultimate 24 hours of disappointment coming up.
Just letting everyone I’m still on track for my prediction to be true
So that interception was your fault? Oh well, at least they beat the Packers
Joey Burrow on X: “The amount of ppl that don’t understand what a catch is in the rule book flabbergasts me. And it’s not the officials. The two plays yesterday were not difficult calls, and they got them both right.” / X
Okay, Joe Burrow is still alive, or NFL HQ has hacked his twitter account.
I understand the legalistic definition by which that Donks pick was the “right” call (and it saved the game for my team). It just absolutely is NOT consistent with basic logic or common sense.
Its a combination of appearances, slowing it down frame-by-frame like the Zapruder Film, and the fact the same play occurred in back-to-back days so it was fresh in the mind.
In real time separately, the Rams-Bears one seemed a catch while the Bills-Broncos one just screamed “Hey, wait…”
2007 LSU
2007 was an absolute clusterfuck of a season. Remember when everyone who was ranked #2 lost, including a certain Yinzer’s alma mater?
Will they wheel Lee Corso out for one last headgear pick?
Next Corso appearance will be McAfee placing Corsos skinned face ala Texas Chainsaw Massacre while touting next season of the Beast Games
I’m with a Miami fan tonight, so I’ll be rooting for Indiana.
There and Back Again the dolphins go with the quality pick of Jeff Halfling who’s small size and bonus to agility will help Achane. luck bonus will help with draft.
If Miami wins: we’ll have to deal with increased smugness and arrogance from Miami alumni and legends
If Indiana wins: the shock could destroy all the seals of the apocalypse simultaneously, the force of which would cause the barrier that separates Hell and Earth to disappear causing us all to experience a fate worse that none of us imagine as our fears and vices come alive to torture us as everything we hold innocent and pure is violated and corrupted before our eyes while we look up at an ignoring God, pray, pleading, begging for a death that will never come as the seconds become minutes become hours becomes days becomes years becomes eons until we reach the actual number of infinity by which we would have reach a state that would make madness feel like a cool breeze on a summer’s hot day.
…but to root for Miami?
So you’re saying the world becomes like whichever state wins? I suddenly have rooting interests in college football and it is neither of these teams!
Living in the OH-KY-IN Tri-State, that does track:
Ohio is proud to be Midwestern.
Kentucky is proud to be Appalachian.
Indiana is proud to have given up.
Dunno why Michael Irvin and Jimmy Johnson ain’t ded already. Hope tonight kills ’em.
Jimmy Extenzed his life
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzJDXjNGaJo
The image of Jimmy Johnson with a pill-aided erection:
Well its official, my penis is now just for show. – Waiting | Clip.Cafe
Colorado won it with both a loss and a tie, but they REALLY lost twice (the infamous 5th down game @ Mizzou). Always galled me that the voters didn’t TREAT that like a 2nd L.