Happy Friday! House Sharkbait is full on preparing for this weekend’s snopocalypse that’s supposed to hit us on Sunday. Pardon me if you’ve heard that one before, but it’s true…to an extent. Another winter storm is heading our way, but thankfully it appears as of now to be moving more and more out to sea so our area seems to be dodging a bullet. Which is good because we have about 20 inches of snow leftover from last weekend. Super fun!
Anyway this week I wanted to keep on the martini trend, because they are delicious and I’m always looking out for a new variant. What I’m trying this week is the Pickled Martini from my Martini cocktail book. It features cornichon garnish as well as use of the brine. That immediately intrigued me because I can see how that would go very well together, and create kind of an alternative dirty martini for me, since I do not like olives. However I have a slight problem. I only have sweet gherkins on hand. I know essentially all cornichons are gherkins, but not all gherkins are cornichons, but I’m slightly concerned the sweeter brine wont play as well. Though I figured it was still worth attempting to make with these, so I can rate how they compare to the real ones I’ll plan on making eventually.
Pickled Martini
3 oz. London dry gin
.75 oz. dry vermouth
1 bar spoon (about 1 tsp) cornichon brine
Cornichons for garnish
Combine the gin, vermouth, and brine into a cocktail shaker or mixing glass filled with ice. Shake or stir as desired (I stirred), then strain into a coupe glass. Garnish with the cornichons.
The aroma is all gherkin brine. The slightly sweet, pickle-y notes are very pronounced.
Oh this is quite nice. Any concerns I had about the sweeter flavor of the gherkins is totally gone. It takes the edge off the gin a little bit, and the vermouth helps pronounce the flavor a little more I think. I can definitely see where a more sour/tart flavor would shine even more in this drink, but even this is more than acceptable. The more I sip this, the more I think the bring really works well with the vermouth, bringing those flavors out to the forefront as the drink progresses. It finishes with a slightly sweet, dry flavor with the gin still coming through, which is a pleasant surprise. I would have thought it would be overshadowed, but it isn’t. I approve of this.
I would absolutely do this again if I wanted something a little different in the martini game. Even though the gherkins are sweet and not sour/briny, the idea still works, but I really wonder how much better this can be with the proper brine and garnish.
(Banner image courtesy Matthew Tetrault Photography)

Here’s a haul of Girl Scout cookies someone just gave me: Trefoils, Do-Si-Dos, Thin Mints, &
Adventurefuls.
There is only a 10% chance they are poisoned or contain razor blades.
The thin mints belong in the freezer.
When they get in the car they will be.
*trash
Bon Scott: “It’s a long way to the top if you want to rock n roll.”
Michael Bidwill: “Oh, I rock. You better believe that.”
Meanwhile, it’s a short walk to the garage if you have to clean the cat litter, which I must.
I just did the same. It’s amazing how much the cat prefers to shit in the house now that there’s a foot+ of snow in the yard.
Vikings shitcanned their GM a month before the combine.
Bold strategy, Cotton.
As a division opponent, I support this.
But seriously wtf
Mark Wilf, nepo monkey and President of the Vikes learned a new word the other day-here are a few quotes.
“our entire organization feels it”
“this is strictly…an organizational decision”
“it’s about organizationally what we can do the best for our organization”
“We have a strong basis here in our organization”
“We need to be better as an organization”*
HE WAS SIGNED TO A MULTI-YEAR EXTENSION SEVEN(!) MONTHS AGO! You dumb fucking clownsticks.
That 2020 Browns season where they won a playoff game (Mayfield over Big Ben), that saw Stefanski win COY and the window (as short as Biden’s reelection campaign) where it was floated that the Browns could deliver on MLB-style analytics to raise the baseline function of any NFL organization is starting to infect PUREBROWNS into the franchise that foolishly chose to drink from the cesspool’s fountain that year.
The Wilfs should fire themselves for letting their high-on-Trump-getting-again-elected-and-sending-ICE-to-kill-citizens-in-Minneapolis emotions distract from the truth that every successful person inherently understands, from the Factory comes only Sadness. Fools, the lot of them.
And if your franchise has a front-office guy who was part of that flash-in-the-pan-and-NOT-analytics casts, you might just want to silently escort him the alley and do him in mob style.
Between this and the Twins, you’d think that the protests were about sports teams and not about all-too-willing trigger-happy mongrels goose-stepping their way to what should be another fucking Nuremberg where they hang the motherfuckers.
I’m guessing the sports teams are taking advantage of the distraction to do all the dumb shit they know fans would get pissed about.
“Okay, now this is getting annoying!”
-Bengals fans reading the news another GM was randomly fired yet Duke Tobin somehow has tenure
Alright, Lady BFC is heading out of town for a little, what cocktails should I try and whip up while she’s gone? Other than this one because I’m really not a huge dirty martini fan.
Follow your heart, drink some scotch and then pillage the nearest village.
Yeah but what if I already did that this week?
[taps foot impatiently]
When are you posting your BOTG?
Which one?
Oof…high school flashbacks. Yeesh
I’m making either blood orange sidecars or French 75’s this evening. I recommend either.
“for a little”
It’s cool you’re okay with her visiting Lowratio without you
Ooh, I bet you could do this with kimchi! Or really anything else in the pickled/fermented family, but kimchi was the first thing that popped into my head and it sounds good so I’m running with it
Oh hell yes!
I told Taj LAST NIGHT that if Seattle wins The Owl the Vikings would fire their GM.
Guess the Wilfs expect Seattle to win.
While I personally no longer drink, I think the Clubhouse can relate…
Wrong one, let’s try this…
I dont recall ever being that drunk.
120 Minutes Playlist Project Update: I don’t think there’s ever been a bigger dropoff of my enjoyment of a band from their first to their second album. I thought this song and album were absolutely great, and everything that followed was absolute trash.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eza5-ladgYU
Correct, Mental Jewelry was actually their *second* album, and Throwing Copper their third.
I’m looking forward to the time when I can make a drink like this. Right now, as we thunder across the plains looking for blood, us Dothraki only have time to swill fermented horse milk.
Something to wash down the goat jerky you keep under the saddle.
https://www.wtae.com/article/pittsburgh-monongahela-river-emergency-crews/70193517
The call-taker directly next to me got the primary call for this yesterday. Literally that close to it being my nasally, monotone voice heard in the upcoming inquests and what-have-you.
Jesus, that must have been a horrible fall.
With so much drama in the N.E.
It’s kind of hard bein’ Shark B-A-I-T
But he, somehow, some way
Keeps comin’ up with funky-ass drinks, like every damn Friday
Making a little somethin’ for the Clubhouse
Those crazy ass cocktails do get us soused.
Now it’s 2 in the mornin’ – Sexy Friday post is open
‘Cuz my wife ain’t ho-ome
I got no one in the living room gettin’ it on
So I’ll jerk my own gherkin until 6 in the mornin’
Oops, now I gotta poo-oo
I ate a bucket full of chicken and curly fries too
So turn on the fan and open the doors
But (But what?) we don’t love passing out on the floor
So we gonna’ light a cigarette and take a piss
Balls up, Lowratio’s down while you motherfuckers bounce to this
Fallin’ down the stairs, watchin’ pornos
Sippin’ on gin and (pickle) juice
With my mind on my gherkins
And my gherkins on my mind
Fallin’ down the stairs, watchin’ pornos
Sippin’ on gin and (pickle) juice
With my mind on my gherkins
And my gherkins on my mind
Oh my God this is awesome I wish the whole thing could be KOTW.
It needs to be
You guys are too kind — funniest part is I realized after I was done that it was the cover version by The Gourds in my head while I was trying to match the meter (which somewhat worked). Anyway, if there was any doubt as to my old white guy status, let this put it to rest!
The Gourds version is the better version anyway.
Well done, Sir. Well done indeed.
added to the list
Catherine O’Hara passed. That fucking sucks.
Absolute legend.
Please for the love of God tell me she took Jordan Peterson with her.
Nooooooo! I loved her in everything I saw her in.
https://youtu.be/CCF5MCx5Tes?si=8Gy-BWy2WkGydSd5
I blame the Crows
New Cannons, still good n catchy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bu6WSMDDPGY&list=RDbu6WSMDDPGY&start_radio=1
“New Cannons” is more within Sexy Friday’s sphere(s) of influence, but I suppose good music is welcome anytime.
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE
Lowratio asks that you say hello to the Cornichons and the Gherkins for him.
Apparently he knows them from the old neighborhood. Didn’t have the heart to tell him what we were talking about.
“I know essentially all cornichons are gherkins, but not all gherkins are cornichons…”
Mike Bidwill, Explaining His Head Coach Hiring Philosophy
“Cornichon is a much better word”
-B. Favre, updating his Tinder profile
My goodness that cocktail is generous on the spirits. I’m surprised it wasn’t overflowing the coupe glass.
I was gonna say I would also do this again the next time I needed an excuse to shovel 3 oz. of gin into my gaping maw.
For example, a sunset, or the beginning of a new hour.
Let’s not rule out a sunrise.
Any day that ends in “day”
I’ll bet a dill gherkin would work famously.
Sounds delicious.
I find sweet pickles inedible, but dill in this drink sounds like a winner.
Right? I think they’ll go really well
You can call it a “Dilly Dilly”.