Your “A Face Only A Mother Could Love” Thursday Night Open Thread

They breed ’em different up Iowa way. This guy has milked a few bulls in his time if that smile means anything but more on him later.

Here I go again, trawling the depths of that place we all love and despise, looking for stupid NFL-related stuff. And we’re off!

Globules:

Have You No Respect, Niners?: I figured that after his last couple of coaching outings that Matt Eberflus would be as close to unemployable as could be. But nope, the innate desire of coaches to protect each other and their fraternity runs deep. Or perhaps this is a real life exercise  to others in the building-“Don’t do what Donny Defense does”. I’m not ruling it out.

Bills Have Solved A Problem?: You’d expect it would have something to do with liability and broken plastic tables and overflowing landfills but there are other conundrums at hand. Buffalo has signed DJ Moore-a very capable WR that can run most routes and can be a difference-maker at times. He turns 29 in April and they’re on the hook for three years so the timing would work out fairly well. Needless to say, Moore has carved out a half-decent career playing with dregs at the QB spot-he should thrive.

Tyler’s Total Eclipse of the Salary Flowchart: A tortured Bonnie Tyler reference regarding Linderbaum getting plenty of money? Only here, folks. It’s not very often that a young (25 yrs old) highly sought-after OL dude (a center, no less) comes on the market. All your perennially successful clubs (Chiefs, Niners, Steelers, etc) pay a great deal of attention to the fellas in the trenches and pay a great amount to them. That guy is going to be knee-deep in heifers, if you know what I mean.

The Half-Life of Brian: What is up with all these Brian Thomas Jr. trade rumors? He balled out his rookie year and fell off (being injured didn’t help) in his soph year. You don’t let a 1st rounder go after his second year unless his name is Anthony Richardson. The talk is that Parker Washington can fill the spot but he only got to 847 yards and a mere 5 TD’s. The possibility exists that you could have a 1A and 1B combo that could do serious damage if Prison Girlfriend’s arm doesn’t get worn out in the “Recreation Trailer”. Keep him for another go-around and see what happens.

Give me your best.

 

5 4 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
56 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Jimbo

That’s just science.

Screenshot-2026-03-05-at-7.20.06-PM
Don T

Last season Daniel Jones played several games with a fractured fibula and then suffered a ruptured Achilles. For 2026, the Colts put the transition tag. What’s Dimes gonna transition to? A cyborg?
/bows, blows kiss

Redshirt

“Redshirt, why are you laughing?”
“Nothing. Go back to work.”

IMG_3328
Unsurprised

This is the stupidest fucking spectator sport in the world.

Doktor Zymm

Agreed, and we live in a world that contains Dwile Flonking

WCS

21:17 and we’re back.

Meant to post this a moment ago.

Seriously, stop screwing with Lowratio. His “dad” is a law-talkin’ guy, after all.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

How many times do we have to tell you, there is a difference between “dad” and “daddy”?

Redshirt

One teaches you how to stand up and be a man. The other teaches you how to get down on your hands and knees like the dog you are.

(sniff) I miss you Dad and Daddy.

Horatio Cornblower

comment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Just back from watching all the Oscar nominated animated shorts in a movie theater, AMA

Jimbo

is that better than animated pants?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Less coverage.

jjfozz

“Hmmm, how could I alienate a fanbase, continue to be seen as an almost was, AND appear to be a complete idiot when it comes to contracts and negotiations? Never mind, already achieved that!”

-Lamar Jackson sitting on the toilet and playing Angry Birds

Redshirt

I would’ve included a clause saying you have authority to overrule the plays called in the 4th Quarter.

WCS

If you’re going to be an idiot and drink hopelessly drunk, maybe try and not drive your vehicle into the wall of the closest fire department…

Fuck me, people are dumb.

Gumbygirl

I’m kind of shocked she’s still alive. Poor Britney, she is too dumb for this world.

Redshirt

I knew this would happen when the Free Britney thing happened. Some people just can’t help themselves.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Suspicion of DUI is a dumb term. But it does make me think of this

https://youtu.be/MCksdXnEXkU?si=yAAmEEeqKwb209q4

Don T

Hiding the carkeys is an obligation. Then an unsolvable mystery.

LemonJello

That’s no way* to talk about the Secretary of War!

*this is absolutely the way to talk about that drunken re*ard assclown

Gatoraids

i mean only smarter place to drive into would be a hospital…

Unsurprised

Lightweight

Redshirt

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVzDtrgybjc&pp=ygUJR3JlZyBjb29r

Just found this video while on a bored YouTube binge. I always knew Greg Cook was great and his injury probably cost us one or two Super Bowl championships (ducks thrown shoe from Pittsburgh contingent), but this is the first time I saw video of him playing. And he only played as a rookie!

Ken Anderson was a field commander. Boomer Esiason was a leader. Joe Burrow is a playmaker. Greg Cook? Something else. Arm strength and vision.

What could’ve been…

Don T
Don T

comment image

Doktor Zymm

Well fuck. I would say that modern sport medicine could have maybe saved his career but then I remember RG3 and Tua’s ‘back problems’ and Trent Williams’s cancer going undiagnosed because the training staff didn’t want him to miss time for treatment and a bunch of other stories like that and really it’s just that nothing can overcome the NFL meatgrinder

Horatio Cornblower

It’s nice that you think Mike Brown pays for “modern” “medicine”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

120 Minutes Playlist Project Update: Beavis and Butt-Head were right about this video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYYGKCanqfA

NotShogunButShogun

Loudest show I ever been to. And sounded great

yeah right

Made the legs of my jeans flap just from the sound.

Horatio Cornblower

Still remember the mosh pit at the Lollapalooza show I saw them at. They launched into ‘Supernaut’ and things just went to levels I’d never even thought of.

Bogdanski

I was more of a Headbanger’s Ball kid but they played this video pretty often and it kind of broke my brain. They incorporate a Slayer lick for f’s sake. Amazeballs

WCS

In reference to..? He’s playing now, so no injury news…

WCS

I can confirm and verify Bryan Rust is playing, as he just scored a shortie to tie the game against the Ice Bills, 1-1.

Mr. Ayo

Well, that was a dangerous high stick from him. Damn.

Mr. Ayo

Woah, game misconduct. Well deserved.

litre_cola

Full on lumberjack mode.

litre_cola
litre_cola

He just face slashed a guy.

Brick Meathook

Check it out! Here’s the inside of my fucking head!

This is from the MRI I had in December (long story) but they pronounced my head and brain “no more abnormal than we expected.”

It took me this long to figure out how to get a copy of it, and I want to pick the best slice and print it and frame it and maybe use it as my official portrait.

(The image is like looking down on the top of my head. This slice includes my eyeballs at top and my brain or what’s left of it)

IMG_0021
Brick Meathook

You two will always have your dreams.

Horatio Cornblower

I can’t wait to unite with Don T and invade Ontario.

Probably in the summer.

Mr. Ayo

You have a massive sinus cavity, sir.

Brick Meathook

Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.

Gumbygirl

GinoUrmous eyes too. Like a Tarsier

1000008772
NotShogunButShogun

I did these for fun and money in college!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I thought I remember a bit in a Stephen King story where a doctor told the main character about a similar case involving a human.

Don T

Aggressively medium

Doktor Zymm

Neat