The “There Can Be Only One” Round has begun

As I type this the kicks have started.

Life Sucks:

Chris “Y2K” Johnson shared with the world his battle with ALS and I don’t want to watch it. He’s forty fucking year’s old. He was one of my favorite non-Giant players-he burst onto the scene virtually out of nowhere and the rumor was that he had run a sub4.3 40 yard dash. When I shared that with my fantasy buddies they called bullshit. Well, it sure didn’t take long for him to send Lendale White’s fat ass to the bench. It seemed as though he loved being on the field and wouldn’t you if you could outrun everyone? I wish him the very best.

Hydration Break-

The Shield Has Spoken:

I imagine that The Rog said to the Lions, “I’m out here making life miserable for a kid with a gambling problem and you still have a guy accused of a felony still on your roster? Get with the program, motherfuckers!” The Lions have cut Terrion Arnold.

Nothing’s gonna top the last result but here we go-

Los Neitherlands play Morocco (why is ESPN’s short form name for the latter MAR?) play for the right to face off against Les Terrors a la Tundra. I found it funny today that my bean sprout guy (you all have a bean sprout guy, right?) won lot’s of maple cash money betting on his adopted country. Meanwhile, my ground beef guy (he also coaches two college soccer teams and runs a soccer camp) who was given free tickets to two(!) games so far bet against the Canadian side. He has some grudges against some of the coaches that select players at lower levels that could work their way to the National Program and just can’t let go.

Be who you are in the comments.

 

 

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Gatoraids

This is what the Dutch get for the quality of their ovens

WCS

Morocco deciding to play a game of three-bar instead.

Gatoraids

Shank’lar approves

Sharkbait

Oh Bart.

Mr. Ayo

¡DOS PALO!

Mr. Ayo

¡TRES PALO!

Dunstan

Why do they do two coin tosses? Why not have the winner of the first toss choose who shoots first or the end, and the other team gets the other choice?

Mr. Ayo

They’re making that change after the tournament. Because, yeah, a team could win both tosses which is super unfair.

Doktor Zymm

Ya know that whole thing where they put high pct beers in tiny cans and no one wnted them so they all went on sale and I bought some aand now I’m drinking a tiny can of 10% beer? That’s why I’m drinking a tiny high grav beer while watchong psych in bed! Woo!

Gumbygirl

I am sucking down some of SIL’s cab, and munching on some dark chocolate. I had leftover Steak Diane, from a really cool retro jernt up here. I get soooo fucking high at altitude, especially when I haven’t been here in a bit.

1000011070
Last edited 5 hours ago by Gumbygirl
Doktor Zymm

Yasssss!

WCS

Staring down the barrel of consecutive penalty kick decisions…

Sharkbait

Seeing Bart Verbruggen have an all timer of a game as a Brighton fan:

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KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY KEEPER CHELSEA!

Doktor Zymm

Psych on the bed projector fuck yeah!

7150
Sharkbait

Sweet!

Doktor Zymm

Popcorn is fuckin delishioUs

Sharkbait

Has Morocco tried stealing Verbruggen’s towel?

Doktor Zymm

I’m just not gonna root for the teams I like, my support is poison based on my sample size of 2 so far

Mr. Ayo

And here I was worried the knockout games would be a letdown after the all the great group stage fixtures. Instead, they’re even more crazy.

litre_cola

Mighty Whitey’s own with the tying gol!!!!

Mr. Ayo

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WCS

I know it’s not nearly as bad as it is in other areas, but sweet mother of piss, it is humid outside.

People in the past were fucking stupid. It’s already hot and humid, air conditioning doesn’t exist yet, but, let’s voluntarily wear 17 layers of clothes, too. No wonder they were always pissed off and dying young; their brains were boiling in their skulls constantly.

Doktor Zymm

They could have invented AC earlier but they didn’t bother until the Americas became more populated. The East Coast all the way to the Rockies is humid hellland

WCS

Still doesn’t explain why wearing enough clothes to survive an Arctic expedition in Atlanta, DC, and New York when it’s fucking July.

2Pack

Over the past week 1300 people have died of heat related circumstances in Europe. It’s been pretty brutal but I noticed yesterday that I’m getting used to it. It was hotter but bugged me less. Good thing too, it’s supposed to stay like this through July at least.

Doktor Zymm

More people die from heat in europe than die from shootings in the US. Just cool off already! Common cents!

Redshirt

Dane Myers all but killed himself catching a fly ball and the Reds Bullpen responded by all but killing the 2026 Season.

https://x.com/CincyProblems/status/2071757356266869096?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Etweet

ballsofsteelandfury

KILL

YOUR

TELEVISION!!!

Doktor Zymm

Fuck yeah, bedroom projetor was the move!

Sharkbait

I really want the Netherlands to go through and play in Foxboro. I want to dress in orange and jump left and right

Doktor Zymm

Or dress up as the Netherlands! How much of you should be underwater but isn’t?
Easier than dressing up as Denmark, it’s hard to be a bunch of islands but you aren’t even an archipelago

litre_cola

Dressing as Rand McNally is easy, just put hats on your feet, but lookout for man eating hamburgers.

Doktor Zymm

Where’s Manly NacRand? He’s America’s pretzel burger

Bogdanski

Can’t you just somehow smell really bad to be Denmark?

blaxabbath

So my big work to-do is coming to fruition. Friday was a big training event that, for whats it worth, was a success. I am hanging in just a couple more weeks then going fuckall in Hawaii for 4 overdue weeks.

Doktor Zymm

Fuck you innovation driver

Doktor Zymm

Imma drive your innovation RIGHT HERE *motions towards crotch#

Bogdanski

After 19 years of marriage, I would appreciate any innovation towards my crotch

Doktor Zymm

Imma put Black Books on and beer

Doktor Zymm

The one thing that sucks about projectors, when you’re drunk and accidentally hit the preprogramed button that hits ‘off’ twice automatically with your knee you have to wait like 30 seconds to turn it back on because there’s a cool off period for that shit

Mr. Ayo

Well the obvious solution is to have two projectors.

litre_cola

One attached to each hammock.

Doktor Zymm

HAMMOCKS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!

But they should

Doktor Zymm

I have at least 3, but they’re in different rooms nd unless they project in exact synch so when I accidentally turn one off ithe other carries on it wouldn’t work but I should actually go watch in bed on bed projector. Good idea, thanks!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Doktor Zymm

Does some other country have MOR? Or MRC? There’s no A in the entire country name. That’s enough thought about that tho I’m drunk and laid and imma gonna bourble out

ballsofsteelandfury

There is in French…

blaxabbath

Chris Johnson Diagnosed With Chris Johnson’s Disease

Brick Meathook

I thought Lou Gehrig Disease was renamed Cal Ripken Disease

Redshirt

I jokingly suggested we call it Dadshirt Disease. I got demoted to Urine Receptacle Cleaner for that joke.

Brick Meathook

Scenes from Los Angeles 6/29/26, Part 2

Here’s the truck pumping in fresh cooking oil into a McDonald’s and pumping out the waste oil. The driver told me the output spigots are (right to left) 1. McDonald’s, 2) RTI Gold (Jack in the Box), 3) Canola Ventura, and 4) High Oleic Canola-Bung (the last two for various customers). The far left is the waste suction line. The truck has a Minnesota license plate, and the northern plains of the U.S. and Canada are where rapeseed is grown, which makes canola oil. The waste oil is sold to inner-city schools and hospitals as fresh oil.

https://ibb.co/V09K9NYW
https://ibb.co/TxDHgg5k
https://ibb.co/hJKJq7Fk
https://ibb.co/wNm3Xyy8
https://ibb.co/twkZgmWR
https://ibb.co/jvZqQcL5

Last edited 8 hours ago by Brick Meathook
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I haven’t seen Germany and Japan end their participation in a worldwide event so closely together in time since 1945.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Banner?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’d like to officially nominate my dog Penny as “Hero of the Day”. When I was taking some reheated rice out of the microwave, I dropped it. It went absolutely everywhere. All over the stove and floor, probably two hundred individual pieces in total. My beloved pet picked up EVERY SINGLE PIECE she could reach and she did it so efficiently that the Dr. Mrs. Deadly, Esq. (ret), who was upstairs at the time, is never going to know it even happened.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkfO8c8MlKU

Doktor Zymm

Good girl!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THE BESTEST

jjfozz

Sent a five pound bag of shit today to my now ex-boss with a note that said, “You can fucking eat it.”

Is it okay to ask him for a reference?

Doktor Zymm

Grade A shit?

litre_cola

I have watched 2 games of each NED and MAR, both are really fucking good, and I have a sneaky feeling this one is going extra time.

Redshirt

Right colors too.

IMG_3557
Don T

I guess there’s nothing left to do but post Paraguayan frutinovela promotions
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8GjqQuH/

ballsofsteelandfury

Fuck yeah!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Tan extraño

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Don T

Oh Dios 😵‍💫

Horatio Cornblower

Germany got well and truly screwed by VAR, and I’d say Paraguay has to be a favorite for the gold medal in Olympic diving next time around, but my god those were some atrocious penalty kicks by the lovable Germans.

Last edited 10 hours ago by Horatio Cornblower
Horatio Cornblower

Definitely more violent than most soccer games. The Paraguayan keeper’s dive really set me off.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Whatever, narc

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’d say it was more “selling the call” than a dive. But then again I’m not as big of a fan of Roger Myers Sr.’s later work as Horatio is.

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Don T

A Guay like no other. So long, Tchermany 🎊 🎈

ballsofsteelandfury

That was crazy

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Mr. Ayo

I didn’t realize taking pennos was so difficult

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That’s a big momentum swing

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Remember: I know fuck all about fútbol

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hooboy. Some nerves there.

/guy who chokes in rec league Aussie rules matches

Don T

Paraguayan soft touch pennos are pure cojones

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This Paraguayan goalie should run for President or King or whatever Paraguay uses.

ballsofsteelandfury

Here we go…

Don T

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Can’t we skip PKs and just agree a tie is more impressive for Paraguay and therefore the Germans should go home?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That JoJo Rabbit looking kid seems sad. Let’s hope the Paraguayans make him sadder.

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