Subsequent GTD reflections SUBSTITUTE TEACHER EDITION!

Hello there, fellow DFOer.  GTD/BoLaMS is off today, something about butt stuff. So I will be the one who sits in judgment of the best comments of the past week BWAHAHAHAHA.

The only real question is: how should I abuse my power? An all BFC comments selection? Nothing but Brick videos? Simpsons and Archer jokes only? Posthoc bribe solicitation potential? The smug satisfaction from judging others like a WASP and overextrapolating their perception of your withering assessment? You’ll have to read on to find out! 

But before you do, let’s take a minute to recognize the effort BoLaMS puts into this weekly tl;dr of the site. I volunteered because I figured I’m already terminally online, as the kids say*, so how hard could it be to just keep a running tab of highlights from a site I refresh constantly? Well, my friends, unlike being a MAGA influencer, there is actual labor involved here, if you count reading, cutting, pasting, embedding, italicizing, and editing as labor. Which I do. The reading alone DQs you from consideration as a current cabinet member.

*No idea what the kids say anymore, as I am an old.

Anyhoodles, back to the detailed instructions template I was issued.

This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:

Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely.

—Lord Acton

Wait, is this still about me? Or the unchecked immoral megalomaniacs running roughshod over the government, the economy, and the environment? I’ll leave you to decide…

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

DonT

Yeeaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh fucking yeaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

I was ata [sic] game in 97 with 2k people there. We are fucking there. Let’s fucking go

litre_cola

Hello from the Ontario/Manitoba border.

litre_cola

“They’re going home, but they’re going home with something to remember”

And since they’re in Dallas, that something is syphilis.

Horatio Cornblower

Senorita Weaselo warned me about the assholes across the street playing music as loud as possible to drown out the free community opera.

Is Senor Weaselo going to have to choke a bitch? We’ll find out!

Senor Weaselo

evening all. everyone doing all right tonight?ArmedandHammered

Better than the Jaguars under Tom Coughlin

ballsofsteelandfury

Are we all rooting for Cabo Verde to destroy the Bonesaws?

SonOfSpam

I’m rooting for solar and wind generated power, but Cabo Verde will do nicely.

Fronkenshteen

If the French had shot this well 86 years ago they would never have had to surrender to the Nazis.

RikkiTikkiDeadly

I got a free month of yoga after getting locked inside the studio while I was in the shower this past Sunday.

I was wondering why they called it Gestapo Hot Yoga.

Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show

Gross, the NFL Draft will be in DC next year (just announced the date 4/29). At the National Mall.

Really too bad Alge Crumpler isn’t eligible.

SonOfSpam

This is all Horatio’s fault [editor’s note: evergreen]

Sharkbait

I’ve got a bunch of jokes about the Turks being more accurate shots but am also looking nervously in Weaselo’s direction, then slowly crumpling up the jokes and eating them.

Horatio Cornblower

Edmonton Esk Elks leading the Winnipegian (Winnipegese?) Blue Bombers, 17-0, with about five and half to go in the first half.

THIS HAS BEEN YOUR NOBODY ASKED BUT YOU’RE GOING TO READ IT ANYWAY WCS CFL UPDATE BROUGHT TO YOU ALLEGHENY COUNTY EMERGENCY SERVICES AND PEDANTICY [sic]

WCS

Another Thursday another Lake show.

Lets gooooo

BoLaMS

I’ve noticed that after a coworker offs themself, we’re suddenly awash in food provided from services all over the county. Seems a bit excessive to get free barbeque in this particular instance. 

Yes, a colleague shot himself in the parking lot five days ago. Told yinz it’s suicide season. Seriously, reach out to your loved ones if them seem a bit off. It really can, and does, make a difference. I’ve been sitting on this for a few days, debating to post or not. But, I think it’s more important to promote awareness rather than not. 
WCS

Gigantic Bathroom

Los Angeles Superior Court

Santa Monica California

Brick Meathook

That’s just a movie set for one of those “films” BoSaF is always talking about.

LemonJello

I blame my team’s terrible performance on the CFL fantasy website. It’s so bad.

Sharkbait

I’d have to think about ways to make it worse.

BallsofLacrosseandMapleSyrup

Just got this from a research company:
We are reaching out to you from the Generation Lab – a research firm studying young people and today’s trends, with findings in the PBS Newshour, NBC News, Fox News and other sources.

Those suckers seem to think I am a trendy young people! Lol

DoktorZymm

Normally I watch whatever Telemundo has on, but then I thought “when am I get another chance to watch a World Cup match featuring Haiti?”

RikkiTikkiDeadly

Found a funny:
There is a silent k in knife
There are two silent k’s in knick and knack
And there are three silent k’s in Republican

Gumbygirl

Found a funny:

Imagine dying on the front lines because you were simply too horny.

rockingdog

Best I can figure out of Sorsby, he would have been better off at any point just picking a horse to ride on.

If you’re going to be the inaugural gambling addict QB, then own it. “I did rehab and the technology that caught me betting on my own team can now help keep me straight” is fair enough. And even though he can’t stand up, Greg Abbott was prepared to stand up for you.

In retrospect, staying at Cincinnati may have been the best move — as leaving egg on the face of every professional who did business with you since your freshman year tends to lose you supporters over time (outside MAGA voters who openly support pedophiles so long as they seem adequately racist).

But TTU seemed ready to take down the conference just to have you suit up one seasion. But you Kaepernick’d them and had your own priorities.

You wanted the lawsuit — go fight the lawsuit, you bitch. You and your billboard lawyer should be shot for wasting everyone’s time and being a couple liars. But guys like Sorsby grow up on their potential. Then you wake up one day and see it’s not going to be fully realized. But instead of recalibrating your journey, you fucking cry that you’re a victim and actually fine suit. Sue my ass you useless untrustworthy addict.

His high school ought to remove his cheating ass from their record books.

blaxabbath

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else. Big shoutout to yeahright and Mr. Ayo for their technical assistance in getting this post shipshape. Tip your bartenders and send your bribes to GTD and/or me.

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