Sunday Gravy with yeah right: Time for a Knockoff – “Alice Springs Chicken”

Good morning and welcome to World Cup Final Day.

AND it’s also mid ass summer.

Yep. It got to us this week too. Even on the coast summer stuck its very unrequested dick directly into our faces this past week. Like an asshole.

This is where I’m supposed to say “Get used to it” but if you’re here and reading this particular site you have already been briefed on our ongoing death spiral into Hell with each subsequent year. 

We’re going to attempt a Knockoff recipe today, or my version of a particular restaurants feature dish.

How famous is this one? Beats the shit out of me. I know you’ve all at least heard of Outback Steakhouse and I’m guessing more than a few of you have even visited one or two.

As a chain it’s pretty decent. I’ve had some good dishes there. I guess they’re most famous for their “Bloomin’ Onion.” A whole fried and “Bloomed” battered onion dish that is perfectly tasty for about the first 67 seconds right before it turns into a deep fried onion grease trap. Think about this for a second, I KNOW some sick motherfuckers get those things delivered to their house. I fucking know it.

Jesus Christ, I just gave myself the Willies and turned my stomach at the same time.

You know what’s pretty goddamn tasty at Outback? Their “Kookaburra” wings. Now I can eat those.

Let me share my quick Outback history with you.

First time I visited an Outback Steakhouse was in Tempe Arizona and it was November 12th 1995. No, I’m not some memory savant and shit, I remember it because of this.

That’s right. Me and the former Missus saw the Vikings play the Cardinals at Old Sun Devil Stadium. If you look at the bottom of that screenshot you can see why I remember this game.

The Vikings walked this fucker off in OT with a 50 yard bomb from WARREN FUCKING MOON to Qadry Ismail. Yes, Rocket’s brother. It was a fucking legendary finish. My only Vikings win via walkoff in OT that I witnessed live.

I was jazzed to the grizzy walking out of that stadium and since the missus and I were staying the night we decided to have a nice dinner to celebrate.

One of my old maxims is that if you’re unfamiliar with a city/town and are looking for a place to eat, always ask a cop or a cab driver. There was a cop directing pedestrian traffic out of the stadium right after the game so I asked him if he knew a good steakhouse nearby.

He got all excited and said “There’s this brand new Australian steak place called The Outback that my wife and I go to” then he gave us directions.

Yes this was 1995 and Outback was new to the scene. It was the first time my wife or I had heard of it so we went.

And it was good.

I’ve got to tell you that during this era of my existence I wasn’t known as being the culinary guru that I am today.

I know! It’s shocking! It’s true though. I was married with 2 daughters and our idea of fine dining was cooking at home, grabbing a Buono’s pizza or eating at the walkable fancy Mexican food place that’s like a block and a half away. So this really was a rare treat and we did indeed enjoy it.

Obviously I’ve evolved in that regard and my current idea of quality steakhouses certainly does not have Outback in its orbit.

I have no real idea how our menu today came about. I haven’t been to an Outback Steakhouse in probably 20 years but who the fuck knows. I do remember liking their Alice Springs Chicken just fine even though I usually ordered their ribs if I remember right. I took the girls to Outback fairly regularly after my divorce because it was fine and the girls liked it. Eldest right usually ordered the Alice Springs chicken too now that I think about it.

What does this all mean?

Who gives a shit?

We’re here doing this thing so…

I’ll get us going.

We start by making a honey mustard marinade and dipping sauce. They are technically the exact same fucking thing.

Gather your ingredients.

Combine them!

There’s no exact measurement today but it’s basically 2 parts dijon to 1 part mayo, a teaspoon of fresh lemon juice and a shot of honey until it’s as sweet as you prefer.

Divide this into equal parts. We’re going to marinate some plain, boring boneless skinless chicken breasts overnight in half of the honey mustard and we will save the other half for a dipping sauce when we serve the dish the next day.

Next day and…

Grab some bacon!

If it feels like you’ve been seeing the combination of bacon and mushrooms featured a lot this year, well that’s because you have.

Same again today.

Chop about 4 strips of bacon into bits.

Cook the bacon until it’s just getting crispy.

Remove the bacon to a paper towel lined plate and set aside for now.

Using the bacon grease do up the mushrooms next.

While it’s just mushrooms browning in bacon grease, I don’t know. Ain’t that a sexy goddamn photo? Shit works for me.

There are a surprising number of knock-off recipe sites out there. Some sites do nothing but.

Take a look at the home page for Top Secret Recipes.com and you’ll see what I mean.

I browsed thru 3-4 of the recipe sites to get ideas on how to make our menu today and took a suggestion here, an idea there and made it my own.

On a couple of the recipe sites I saw this next seasoning blend specifically mentioned for today’s dish.

Ever used this stuff?

It’s a Cajun/Creole thing so I’m sure it’s more prominent in the gulf states. Reddit has a whole thread about it. I usually use my own homemade version of Emeril’s Essence but I can always use another Creole mix. It’ll get used I promise.

Saw a couple of places where they swear by putting it on popcorn. Might have to try that.

Grab your marinated chicken out of the fridge and let it come up to room temperature.

Season both sides of the chicken with our new spice blend then get it into the exact same pan that we cooked the bacon and mushrooms in. No additional lube needed!

Brown for about 6-7 minutes per side.

After both sides have been browned add on the mushrooms that we pre-cooked.

Then the bacon.

You’re in charge of this hootenanny, you decide how much or how little you want.

Top with the cheese.

Bake for 15 minutes at 400 degrees.

While the chicken is baking we will make our side dish. Pasta in a parmesan cream sauce with some chives.

Melt a tablespoon of butter then add in about 10 ounces of heavy cream, half a cup of parmesan cheese (grated this time since parmigiano reggiano is still scarce around these parts) and salt and pepper to taste. Stir until it thickens.

Add chives to the sauce.

I’m cooking the last half box of farfalle pasta today. The other half was used in that link up there with the bacon mushroom pasta in it.

Add the pasta to the sauce, reserving some pasta water just in case. Stir well and add the pasta water if needed to reach the desired consistancy.

Chicken should be done. Let’s see.

Sure. That will do just fine.

Plate with the pasta and serve.

Get close in on that chicken would ya?

You can eat the FUCK out of that!

It’s chicken that’s topped with bacon, mushrooms and cheese! C’mon! The pasta is killer too. Be sure to use the leftover honey mustard to dip the chicken bites into.

I don’t even have to offer up summation here, do I?

You know what this is and how it tastes and now you know how to make it too!

There you go.

Today’s “Fun” holidays: July 19th is National Ice Cream Day AND National Daiquiri Day and I think that’s all I have to say about that. 

I trust you can all observe these 2 humble occasions with aplomb.

[editors update. (Do I still have to say “editor” if the editor is me?)

Found this on Thursday. Score!]

Go on! I know you want to watch the World Cup Final. I ain’t stopping ya!

See you all next week, alright?

Until then…

Peace!