Your Sunday Evening Divisional Battle

Or, given these teams, a slap fight. Both these teams should be improved if good intentions mean anything any more. (they do not)

To The Game!

Cowboys/Giants:

-the Giants backfield is a bit of a mess that will take some time to sort out. Especially if OC Matt Nagy has anything to do with the decisions. I’ve said it before but I just don’t think that Sk8erboi is built to handle 1) his style of play, and 2) the punishment that Harbaugh has planned for him. Who’s up after that? Is it a washed (but dependable) Najee? The forgotten Singletary? The constantly overlooked Tyrone Tracy?

-I’m starting a Cowboy for the first time in never and it just so happens to be Dank Prescott. That’s just great.

-The Gmen (rhymes with semen) lost 7 games by one score last year.

-Dallas was the worst team vs the pass while NY was 2nd-worst against the rush.

-The Giants are a lofty 1-17 against these division rivals. That’s 8 freaking years of marking ‘two automatic wins’ in the ledger. Christ. They’re favored by 3.

-Dart’s rushing total comes in at 28.5. The notion is that designed runs will be decreased but if the dreadful o-line hasn’t improved he’ll reach that total by halftime.

-Dallas’ new-look D features Quinnen Williams, Von Miller, Caleb Downs and Rashan Gary, among others. The big question: How long will it take for that talent to come together as a unit?

You know what to do.

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179 Comments
Horatio Cornblower

Welp, time for us Dallas fans to start scouting top picks in the April 2027 NFL draft.

fleshwound_NPG

has actually eaten at least one stopwatch

fleshwound_NPG

44 years old

still waiting for a head coach named schottenheimer to have a good 4th quarter

Horatio Cornblower

To be fair he didn’t have a very good first three quarters tonight either.

WCS

comment image

WCS

Maybe by 88 you’ll see that happen?

Horatio Cornblower

Oh wow, the Giants sent a receiver across the face of the defense and Dallas didn’t adjust! Who woulda thunk it?

Beerguyrob

The Giants are disappointing Cris, which is actually engorging him at the same time.

WCS

Schroedinger’s Blair Walsh

Gatoraids

Skateeeeeeeeeeeboooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQEkLOxFZoQ&list=RDyQEkLOxFZoQ

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Okay, that’s going to be delicious if it costs the Cowboys the game.

Sharkbait

Lol. Lmfao even.

Horatio Cornblower

“My team is down 2 TDS. There are roughly 5 minutes left. I should absolutely taunt the defender as I run into the end zone”

Sharkbait

“There is no possible way this can backfire”

Horatio Cornblower

comment image

A B T

Always
Be
Taunting!!

Unsurprised

Still smarter than

Always

Be

Shooting

fleshwound_NPG

giants are ass enough to make a game outta this

fleshwound_NPG

but dallas is still piss

ThePirateSloth

STOP SAYING SHOT

Sharkbait
fleshwound_NPG

the last time dallas wasnt piss windows95 was brand new

fleshwound_NPG

speaking of microsuck, steve ballmer caved to the nba and there wont be a slapfight

damn, was lookin forward to that cesspool

Horatio Cornblower

The Dallas defense has fallen for the same two plays something like 18 times. RB out to the flat? Never seen that before! TE in the flat? Never seen that before? Receive runs across the defense? What sort of sorcery is that!?

ThePirateSloth

Tirico: “… this tumbling clock”

comment image

Horatio Cornblower

“Singletary was able to win the battle”

Cris, when the battle started no defender was within 8 yards of him.

Horatio Cornblower

Listen, if a defender can’t power-suplex a runner then I simply am not interested in watching this sport any more.

Gumbygirl

Yahoo is still giving me a 1% chance. Ceedee Lamb is nawt going to get 30 points in 11 minutes.

Beerguyrob

DOUBLE DOWN!

Horatio Cornblower

I have a feeling that “we got a chance to beat the Cowboys” is something a lot of teams are going to be saying this season, and probably sooner than the 4th quarter.

Gumbygirl

My fucking cat knocked my phone off the charger. He is a punk, but I love him! I think I cursed myself in the draft by taking a Cowboy.

1000003646
Duchess

Cam Skattebo has definitely bought breast milk off of Craigslist

fleshwound_NPG

using X money!

x-money-piss
Sharkbait

I refuse to believe that’s real. But it’s fucking hilarious if it is

Horatio Cornblower

Do you not believe someone named ‘Piss Vortex’?

For shame.

Sharkbait

There needs to be some kind of limit for ad breaks for football games. This is some bullshit

Horatio Cornblower

That CTE settlement isn’t gonna pay for itself.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Jerry HATES when a good Hooker can’t do the job after being paid

Sharkbait

Brock Purdy is about to sue someone for co-opting his Mr irrelevant story

Horatio Cornblower

“NFL Moms: they piss themselves just like us!!”

SonOfSpam

I do not appreciate you hacking into my porn preferences.

Beerguyrob

/Ted Cruz has entered the chat

NotShogunButShogun

Regarding earlier. *Deep breath*
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hoo

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That bullshit PI flag is brought to you by DraftKings

Horatio Cornblower

Dallas’s best offensive play is chucking the ball up in the air and waiting for the Giants to commit PI.

fleshwound_NPG

ironically, harbaugh’s bread and butter during the flacco era

Horatio Cornblower

“And you can bet your sweet bippy it was unsalted butter”

-Joe Flacco, sipping a warm milk.

fleshwound_NPG

saudi pipeline going to take longer than originally expected, brent oil surging near 110

shits gonna look like the early 70s before too long

oil
Horatio Cornblower

All those MAGA-tards driving diesel pick-ups, for no real reason.

It’s just so beautiful.

Last edited 54 minutes ago by Horatio Cornblower
WCS

HIGH GAS PRICES TO P0WN THE LIBS HURR DURR

TRUMP LOVES REEL MURICKA

BrettFavresColonoscopy

/continues planning this coming weekend’s EV road trip without concern

blaxabbath

What was that like? I mean, did the roads go dead? Or was it just the usual traffic and pitching and paying too much?

Duchess

For those looking for a great Chris Collinsworth alternative commentary

https://youtu.be/Yd2o-Df8870?si=mtqktj5U38PMIbe_

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I know I’m an old man, but I’m still not used to seeing defensive linemen with single digit jersey numbers

Sharkbait

Jerry looks ROUGH.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

He looks pretty good for dead

Sharkbait

But enough about Mitch McConnell

Beerguyrob

Doing a fridge inventory & I need more shelf space for moar beers.

IMG_9401
Horatio Cornblower

Get rid of that milk.

SonOfSpam

Stupid milk. Thinks it’s so big.

Sharkbait

Milk expires. Beer doesn’t. Your fridge doesn’t deserve beverages that quit.

SonOfSpam

Beer grinds.

Mr. Ayo

And why isn’t it in a bag?

Beerguyrob

Because I’m west of the Great Lakes.

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