Your Sunday Evening Divisional Battle

Or, given these teams, a slap fight. Both these teams should be improved if good intentions mean anything any more. (they do not)

To The Game!

Cowboys/Giants:

-the Giants backfield is a bit of a mess that will take some time to sort out. Especially if OC Matt Nagy has anything to do with the decisions. I’ve said it before but I just don’t think that Sk8erboi is built to handle 1) his style of play, and 2) the punishment that Harbaugh has planned for him. Who’s up after that? Is it a washed (but dependable) Najee? The forgotten Singletary? The constantly overlooked Tyrone Tracy?

-I’m starting a Cowboy for the first time in never and it just so happens to be Dank Prescott. That’s just great.

-The Gmen (rhymes with semen) lost 7 games by one score last year.

-Dallas was the worst team vs the pass while NY was 2nd-worst against the rush.

-The Giants are a lofty 1-17 against these division rivals. That’s 8 freaking years of marking ‘two automatic wins’ in the ledger. Christ. They’re favored by 3.

-Dart’s rushing total comes in at 28.5. The notion is that designed runs will be decreased but if the dreadful o-line hasn’t improved he’ll reach that total by halftime.

-Dallas’ new-look D features Quinnen Williams, Von Miller, Caleb Downs and Rashan Gary, among others. The big question: How long will it take for that talent to come together as a unit?

You know what to do.

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210 Comments
jjfozz

“Why in FUCK do we keep buying carpets that the door gets jammed on?”
“Why are you yelling about RUGS?”
“Why aren’t YOU doing a better job when you’re buying rugs?”

Yes, 25 years of marital bliss still going strong.

Gatoraids

yell about loading the dishwasher, SHOW HER YOU CARA|E

Duchess

Cam Skataboo seems like the type of guy who has a couple of raccoons he calls his pets hanging out in his condo.

WCS

The big one’s, “Bitey.”

Gatoraids

moms family had some down here in Miami after raccoons nested in the attic, cute and trainable if caught early enough

jjfozz

He feeds them grain alcohol and cocaine, better known as breakfast.

Last edited 1 hour ago by jjfozz
Duchess

Cocaine?… Cam makes moonshine meth it’s a family recipe he like to add chili pepper flakes to it.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

If I were an NBC sideline reporter, I would have asked Coach Harbaugh why his brother sucks

Horatio Cornblower

Pretty sure he would happily answer, and in essay form.

WCS

Oh man, we are off to a fantastic start… I have a Pittsburgh PD officer needing a Swahili lang line. The female on scene just told the interpreter and officer her husband came home drunk, is giving her a hard time, and she needs the officer to find a new place to stay.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I think fozz can speak Swahili when he’s sufficiently bourbled up.

jjfozz

I can, but I’m heartbreakingly sober. Just have someone shoot the guy in the leg.

WCS

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Who drew on Mike Tomlin’s eyebrows, Mr. Magoo?

Mr. Ayo

And he’s standing on a box. TV changes people, man.

https://bsky.app/profile/cjzero.bsky.social/post/3mvgz5yfoys2z

Gatoraids

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Sharkbait

Giants did a good? I don’t know if of I’m prepared for competent Giants team.

Last edited 2 hours ago by Sharkbait
King Hippo

That timeout is Peak Harbaugh.

Horatio Cornblower

God help me, I agree with Cris: that defensive sequence was all kinds of ass.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yeah, it’s not even November yet and the Cowboys are choking

Gatoraids

and this time not just cuz Tony Romo chugged Malort shots

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hey, that’s gonna be the whole DFOCON contingent once they get to Chicago

jjfozz

Whoa, when is this get together? I’ll be walking since I have no job.

Beerguyrob

Dart is consistently overthrowing these guys & they are bailing him out.

jjfozz

“We got your resume. Now please fill out this extensive fucking form that asks the same fucking questions. You’ll do it because you fucking need a fucking job.”

Bogdanski

That shit suuuuuuuuuuucks! Like when they have you upload your cv and the then ask you to enter it field by field

Gatoraids

DAK!DAK!DAK!

Horatio Cornblower

Well, Dak’s in post-season form, anyway.

Unsurprised

“There’s a postseason?”

jjfozz

If Skattaboo didn’t become a pro football player he’d be a legbreaker for the Jersey mafia (which does not exist)

ArmedandHammered

He seems more of a Vegas guy.

blaxabbath

Those of you who follow terrible franchises will understand what I’m saying —

Maybe the Chargers are just absolute dogshit in 2026?

3533
Col. Duke LaCross

Skattebo already has spinal fluid leaking out of his nose and ears.

Gatoraids

Cam boys have leaked worse from worse places

King Hippo

Tomlin looking a little thicc there

Doktor Zymm

Seems i still have a great ass oof

Gatoraids

ran across Bobby D in your travels

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I love that he’s saying that to Apu from the Simpsons.

WCS

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Horatio Cornblower

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Horatio Cornblower

Jesus we are a predictable bunch.

ThePirateSloth

It’s great when the gifs end up giffing together and Pacino is GREAT ASSing in double

Gatoraids

trying to even it up with the History of world lineup but best i can do

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Gatoraids

Blair Pacino

ThePirateSloth

There is exactly one – and only one – Texas High School Football game that ever needs to shown on TV for the rest of our lives, and it’s gonna make you break out the oreos and wet yer britches.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Bingo bango bongo.

Beerguyrob

Refs won’t be happy until someone shreds a knee on this goal line stand.

King Hippo

OUCH to the Commentist who was fading CDL

SonOfSpam

(that would be DonT in your silly lawyer league)

Gatoraids

still up 70% chance long as skaterboi doesnt die(30% chance)

Horatio Cornblower

That Dallas TD is gettin’ VAR’d.

Horatio Cornblower

But not that one.

King Hippo

that wee run of competence was nice while it lasted

Horatio Cornblower

Mike Tirico spending the last seven days with Cris and not going on a tri-state killing spree is an absolutely amazing achievement.

Duchess

Pray for the Little Duchess at 13 months she’s celebrating the Bears win with her first bad baby cold with a stuffed up nose that is making it hard for her to sleep.

Last edited 2 hours ago by Duchess
Horatio Cornblower

Ah, that first illness always sucks.

For the parents. I recommend Scotch, and a lot of it.

Horatio Cornblower

My strategy of going with 4 RBs appears to be paying off in the Lowratio League, as Dak! adds 18 yards or so to our total.

ThePirateSloth

To be fair, we’ve also seen plenty of times when Zak does not want to PASS the ball either.

ThePirateSloth

lol Zak, stupid typing fingers

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Horatio Cornblower

Cowboys player with a Nigerian flag on his helmet, a country I’m sure Ol’ Double J has claimed he “just said wrong” when saying another word.

Mr. Ayo

I mean in context he was obviously talking about the Niagara Falls.

WCS

Jerrah was discussing the recent coup attempt in neighboring Niger.

Last edited 3 hours ago by WCS
Horatio Cornblower

A Cowboys PR spokesman’s nightmare if ever there was one.

BC Dick

He was just asking for vinegar with his fries

Unsurprised

It’s disturbing how many people in this country love jerking themselves off to any tragedy, especially when they can make it about themselves.

blaxabbath

This edition of CARDINAL TALK: THE ARIZONA CARDINALS POST-GAME CALL IN SHOW would be much more fun after a road loss.

386
Unsurprised

.

IMG_5297
Gatoraids

me when i put on my cpap at night
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AxJ-5CRKZ38

Unsurprised

Whomst amongst us does NOT have a CPAP?

King Hippo

in-com-PLETE!!!!!

yeah right

Whoop that Packer ass!

SKOL motherfuckers!

King Hippo

Still have no idea how y’all won that! Good on ya

Unsurprised

That Russian witch from The Northman played by the English aristocrat who suspiciously grew up in Argentina must have hexed the Pack.

yeah right

That defense is ferocious.

Horatio Cornblower

Missed most of the footballing today because my brother and I went down to my mother’s to take down her old sliding door curtain unit and install a new one, because that’s what you do to keep your inheritance intact.

If only there were an actual inheritance to be had.

Anyhoo, let’s get this undoubtedly disappointing Cowboys season going!

Last edited 3 hours ago by Horatio Cornblower
Beerguyrob

Oof, I must have fallen asleep. Packers won that game, right?

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Gatoraids

Dr Watson presumably holding off my opponents nefarious Josh Allen play

Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

More importantly, I haven’t become a Chargers fan, but I’m not quite a Chargers hater, either.

The first video clip host I could think of is NSFW. So don’t blame me for anything else you see or click on

1

h

ttps://www.redgifs.com/watch/cruelinferiorseahog

2

h

ttps://www.redgifs.com/watch/recklesselaborateaustraliancattledog

3

h

ttps://www.redgifs.com/watch/reasonablestarchyporcupine

Last edited 3 hours ago by Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Nightcrawler, you used to be a respectable actor.

Beerguyrob

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Unsurprised

Some Broadway crap, I think.

Fronkenshteen

Jesus, Harbaugh is trading this guy by the end of the month.

Gatoraids

so far my Skaterboo is holding of my enemies Seedy Lamb, let us see

fleshwound_NPG

you do not need to try to kill dart like that

he will do it to himself eventually

Gatoraids

lawn darts come with injury warnings

King Hippo

Dunno why I is rooting FOAR the VEP, but I is

Unsurprised

Because fuck Dallas as a city, county, and franchise.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

We not watching the Padres on THE COCK?

/SonOfSpam has entered the chat

SonOfSpam

hi a/s/l?

Unsurprised

I’m rooting for the giant, killer meteor.

The Maestro

Lmao. Watching the little TSN interjection to SNF (Canadiana, y’all) and Davis Sanchez just said he’s taking the Cowboys as a Super Bowl contender because of their elite offense and let me just be the first to say lol and lmao.

Horatio Cornblower

Does Davis Sanchez not understand that a team needs an elite offense and an at-least-competent defense to compete for a Superb Owl?

Unsurprised

Wait. Are you telling me a Mexican has a bad case of Cowboys homerism? I don’t believe it.

Gatoraids

Mute Your Television Night In America is baaaaaaaaaaack

ballsofsteelandfury

Seriously. I don’t understand why people on this site willingly listen to Cris Collinsworth.

King Hippo

I’d pay good moneys for a “Tirico only” button

Unsurprised

Time to learn Spanish

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Or not. It’s better than Collinsworth even if you can’t understand a single word.

Unsurprised

One could do shots every time the color commentator says “Big Boy(s).” I should learn his name one of these days.

Gumbygirl

My phone is dying, I’ll be back later.

Spur

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ballsofsteelandfury

Dart would make a shitload of money in Canada advertising for tobacco companies….

Spur

Let’s get those Dart injuries out of the way.

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