David Moyes – An Appreciation (and Pep’s White Whale)

You might not have noticed it, given that it wasn’t broadcast on US teevee except en espanol (on TUDN, excellent as always), on a Wednesday afternoon.  But the long and twisting road of David Moyes’ (aka the Dour Scottish Cunt) managerial career hit its apex – West Ham, Champions of Europe.

Third tier champions?  Sure.  It’s still quite the accomplishment.  Fronk’s Hammers didn’t lose a single match in their Zooropa NIT adventures, and played with a spirit and togetherness that made you think “holy fuckballs, THIS team almost got relegated the very same season?”

Football, my imaginary friends.  Bloody hell (h/t OGS).

To my surprise, time has healed saltiness enough that Hippo – and most Toffee brethren – was incredibly happy for Moyes.  As you know, I’m a salty creature.   As you likely do NOT know, Evertonians as a general matter are even saltier than Hippo.  We relished doing the double over Moyes’ Men Untied, even if most supporters were happy to have a fresh start (Moyes was an effective steward of a very tight Toffee budget, but stay one place a decade without silverware, and it starts feeling stale).  Moyes’ 2nd defeat to Everton got him the sack, and the next few jobs made it look like the game had passed Moyes by.

Then, he went back to Rum Ham, and gave them a moment they’ll never forget.  And provided a reminder to everyone not at the “state/blood oil money” level that there is plenty of glory still to play for.  Good for Moyes, who never got a proper chance to win trophies at Everton (the Board was dysfunctional even pre-Moshiri, even if he took same to new “heights”).  Even if the journey was perilous in trying to maintain any sort of Prem form, with such a heavy match load.  To my surprise, time has healed saltiness enough that Hippo – and most Toffee brethren – was incredibly happy for Moyes.

City of Men, on the other hand – have that mega club calibre depth.  They can rotate and not skip a beat.  Yet, Shempions League glory is the one prize that has consistently eluded them.  Pep, for all his level-headedness, would no doubt kill every single one of us to get this trophy in the cupboard.  City have never been closer, having dispatched their bogey side (fellow giants Real Cuntfaces of Madrid) comfortably in the semis.  Now, they just have to get past a pretty ordinary Inter Milan side.  Logic says they’ll smash Inter to bits.  Those who have seen the wrath of the Footy Gods…aren’t quite so sure.  Inter have talent, including THREE former Men Untied players.  Most prominent among these is the aging/diminished – but still quite dangerous – Romelu Lukaku.  I’d imagine he won’t even start, and instead come on late to run at tired defenders.  If they are still level at that stage?  Watch then fuck out.

CBS has you covered, 3:00p EST.  Or, watch the always entertaining TUDN coverage.  Enjoy it, the rest of June and July looks pretty bereft of sportsball fun.